Since most of our czars are totalitarian, and our Lord in Chief is nothing if not a statist (well, he's callow and a tyro too), then it's only time that we allow these people to get their hands on the reins of power.
And show Americans just what a good, old-fashioned greedy, interfering nanny state can do.
Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Dear Leader! You all are SO outer party! Apparently you did not receive the memo!
Our Dear Leader (apuH) has had his Little Blue Book out since January! If you will proceed to Amazon.com, you will see that it has been out for some time.
This is the little blue book that right-wing partisans love to hate. Printed in a size that easily fits into pocket or purse, POCKET OBAMA is an anthology of quotations borrowed from Barack Obama's speeches and writings, intended to keep the momentum going for those inspired by his message of hope and change. The portable book serves as a reminder of the remarkable ability of this man to move people with his words, a primer for readers who want to examine the substance of his thought and reflect on the next great chapter in the American story. His captivating oratory has earned comparisons to John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, and this collection presents words that catapulted his remarkable rise to the American Presidency and set a true course for the future. Includes themes of democracy, politics, war, terrorism, race, community, jurisprudence, faith, personal responsibility, national identity, and above all, his hoped-for vision of a new America. POCKET OBAMA is essential reading as we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin the work of remaking America.
Paperback: 156 pages
Publisher: History Company LLC; First edition (January 8, 2009)
Product Dimensions: 4 x 3 x 0.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces
(…and I received a nice fat party promotion for doing so).
Com. Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Assistant to the Deputy Vice Secretary Kommissar
for Unfastened Ordinance and Other Miscellaneous Armaments
I was about to buy a "Firefighter Hunk of the Month" calendar at the kiosk in the mall, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw an Obama calendar. It was in a prominent area, next to the Grey's Anatomy, The Office, 30 Rock, and The Simpsons calendars. (This is a true story!)
The wall size Obama calendar had a large authoratative photograph of our audacious president. The bold printed words said, "Hope, Trust, Progress."
The smaller tear off desk size calendar read, "A Year With Obama"..."I ask you to believe, not just in my ability to bring about change, but in yours. Words to Inspire you all year long."
After wondering where the proceeds went from my purchase, and deciding there was no possible way that our president would be greedy enough to collect profit from it, I decided to buy it. I needed some paper for my litter box. And my tent-trailer was low on kindling for camping.
But my latest wheeze is to get a cheap 13" television, turn it on CNN and put in the bottom of my parrot's cage. The only problem is that the parrot is constipated. Even it won't shit on CNN.
As some of you may know--and all of you SHOULD know--I am an aficionada of Obamabilia, Obamaphilia, and Obamacrapola. This would include calendars, and after reading Casserole Czar's post, I went on a quest and found this link:
There are quite a few Obama calendars to choose from, including one devoted to Michelle, and even some jigsaw puzzles. But what baffled me the most was this:
Quote:Barack Obama. Handsome, dedicated and available November 2008. Car Air Freshener available NOW! Vanilla Scented.
I doubt he smells like vanilla, but I suppose it was either that or the stinky foot odor Michelle complained about a couple of years ago.
Quote:I doubt he smells like vanilla, but I suppose it was either that or the stinky foot odor Michelle complained about a couple of years ago.
Pinkie, I find your remark here excessively racist. No, no, it doesn't matter what your intent was, I am truly offended and will not be satisfied with any common apology you might offer. No, I don't have to explain exactly how I find it racist. The accusation is what counts, and the accusation has been made. Only a carefully orchestrated "populist moment"--say a scripted and coreographed moment of spontaneous comaraderie like sitting down for a beer in the back yard that shows what a true man of the people I am--will suffice.
And besides, I have it on good authority that His Obamaness exudes the scent of crushed jasmine steeped in the essence of rare ungulents.
Just for that, I shouldn't show you what else I found on my quest, but I will anyway:
At the very least, I won't show you what I wrote in my secret diary:
I won't whisper anything in your ear, nor will I let you be my teddy bear . . .
Nor will I let you see the racy pictures I took of myself without my headscarf, using my Obamalicious flip mino:
I don't think they stopped to consider that adjective, such as it is, can be used in an entirely different way.
Oh, and did I forget to warn all of you to swallow your beverages and empty your bladders before viewing this post?
Ooops! My Obamabad.
But where, exactly, is the B-spot? The only thing that I feel when I consider President Zero is a tug around the wallet. Is that the B-spot?
And what the hell is up with this?
If that's Michelle Obama then this picture of Ann Margaret is fake.
Commisar Theocritus, when I was replying to your comment, I saw this add at the bottom of the page. This is glorious! Instead of using cheap cardboard cutouts, we now have the option of using porcelain dolls. Not only are they more lifelike, they are 3 D, which will fool the proles (and cameras) that may be behind Mrs. One. Of course, we'll have to ensure the doll is quite lifelike by making it impossible for anyone standing behind the doll to see the crowd facing her. Otherwise, they'd know it was a fake.
So now the most equal Obama's will have the stand-ins they deserve! It's a good thing we're not making a porcelain doll of their egos...
Oh come, you may adore me.
Oh come, you may adore me.
Oh come, you may adore me.
The sun shines out my ass.
Another of Dear Leader's favorite hymns:
"There's a chirping in the air when birds are happy and a playfulness when creatures feel at ease. And things are as they should be when the forest is at peace. It's the harmony of life. Setting differences aside we come together; we celebrate the friendships that we've made. The stronger help the weaker, the taller help the small. Welcome to our family for all! And things are as they should be when the forest is at peace. It's the harmony of life."
(from "Tiny Heroes"--a children's video)
I'm sure this has already been done...but I decided to give it a try anyway...I'm avoiding the pile of dishes nearby.
My country tis of me,
Sweet land of tyranny, of me I sing;
Land where old fogey's die,
Land where the proles cry,
From every chairmans' side
Let progdom reign
My enemies should flee,
To camps I've built for thee,
My name I love;
I love my big bold ears,
My wife's belts and her heels,
Her smile and her will,
My cold heart still will not drill-
Green peace above!
Let music of the Party,
Ring from all proles,
Sweet victory song;
Let mortals lie awake,
And fear their fragile fate,
Let all in their beds quake
Their life prolong.
I am like god to thee,
Author of suffering,
Of me you sing;
Long may books burn bright,
Victory for jihad in sight
We'll change dark to light,
New world or'dring.
Lift heavy hearts today,
With grateful tribute pay,
Homage to me.
After your toils and fears,
After your blood and tears,
We'll collapse in one hundred years,
Let's sing of Me.
Yes, I am feeling the comfort. Just today, I found myself starting to worry about the economy. But then an image of His O'liness broke into my mind. And deep in my heart, I knew that "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow."
I must have sinned last night in thinking some uncharitable thought. I saw Chairman Obamissimo on television orating and for just a second, a second only, I thought, "There's nothing to you but your words, and you've brought in the worst group of moonbat America hating leftists on earth to screw us over, you sick, slick, mouthy fuck." And then I immediately prostrated myself toward Chicago and prayed my mantra.
O. Bam. A. O. Bam. A. O. Bam. A. Forgive me, your worship, for I have sinned.
There was a crack of lightning; a tree branch fell on my house, and clouds came up and darkened the sky, as gale-force winds boomed the windows.
I'm so glad that I didn't say that crossed my mind for the next second. Before I came to my senses.
Ahhhh...it's past my bedtime, but this is too much fun!
Quote:"There's nothing to you but your words, and you've brought in the worst group of moonbat America hating leftists on earth to screw us over, you sick, slick, mouthy fuck."
Yes indeed, you are very blessed that you received mercy and forgiveness for these blasphemous thoughts. I hate to think of what might have become of you if you had said them OUT LOUD. Nothing says "gale-force winds" like Siberia.
Then I had a vision of dear Michelle, Miss Resentment, descending from a cloud with lots of angelic music--Verdi's Requiem comes to mind--and she smiled her well-dentated smile at me and says, "Theocritus, we understand. We're going to gut you like a Norwegian sardine. How dare you not recognize the awesomeness of Barry O and Myself?"
And with this I went onto Amazon and ordered a hari-kiri knife so that I could disembowel myself should I ever