Who's Allah? The world that was created by Nana Buluku! Like it or not, but people around the world are increasingly gravitating towards our faith in Bondye and Papa Legba Atibon, and there's nothing your Mohammed can do about it. Join us - or spend the eternity with Papa La Bas himself!
If you insist on converting us to Islam, we have no other choice but to convert you to Voodoo, which is the real fastest-growing religion. You think your army of suicidal bombers is effective? Wait till we unleash on you an army of controlled Zombies! Not only they are unafraid of death - you can't kill them because they're already dead! We never tried it before because we are a peaceful religion and there was no need to bother. But since you're getting dangerously obsessed with forcing everyone into your cult, we may as well try it. Besides, oil is becoming too expensive and you guys there are awash in it and unwilling to share. In the spirit of diversity and cultural relativity, our claim is as valid as yours.
Just last night I made a voodoo doll of you, Mr. Ahmadinejad. Tomorrow I'll begin to manipulate your sleep, brain responses, and bowel movements. Remember me the next time you feel possessed (which seems to be your normal state of mind, so no one will see the difference). It'll be Papa Gris-Gris jabbing away at you, Mr. President! It can be both painful and humiliating - just watch this training video! My conditions are simple: submit to Papa Gris-Gris and declare Voodoo the official state religion of Iran - or face the night of the living dead come to Tehran!