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Cardboard Muslim Astronauts for NASA Outreach Program

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Critics of the Obama Administration have repeatedly pointed out the absurdity of tasking NASA with improving the self-image of Muslims through a special outreach space exploration program. However, this idea is as old as Islam itself.

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Our oil companies have long been working for Muslims to extract their oil, which they couldn't find themselves. Hollywood studios are producing pro-Muslim, anti-American propaganda movies that Muslims couldn't film themselves. And Western politicians are surrendering to them their countries, which Muslims couldn't otherwise conquer. And so on. Giving them our spaceships is just one more stroke of a shovel in leveling the playing field for the Muslims.

This isn't as simple as it may look. While many Muslim enthusiasts are expected to volunteer for space flights, experts predict their lack of willingness to learn about landing procedures. Besides, a complete full-time training may not fit into NASA's recently downsized budget.

We've got a solution: USE CARDBOARD CUTOUTS OF MUSLIMS IN SPACE!

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Just as Reuters journalists once successfully used cardboard Flat Fatima to paint a dramatic picture of Arab suffering at the hands of Jews, cardboard astronauts can now be used to paint a picture of dramatic Islamic achievement in space at virtually no cost to American taxpayers.

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This glorious concept was born on a recent thread Asteroids: Why Do They Hate Us? Trying to envision an Adopt-an-Asteroid outreach program for Muslims, we created two model Middle Eastern astronauts, who quickly developed a life of their own and jumped off the page, leaving behind the discussion about a rampant harassment of asteroids in national observatories, calls for gravitational equality, and special needs of gay asteroids.

If the goal here is not the scientific exploration but rather the creation of feel-good emotions in far-away countries, what difference does it make if the achievement is Photoshopped? In space, no one can hear you scream "Allahu Akbar!"

See examples below, along with two cutouts (transparent PNG images), which you can use to create your own examples of Muslim space exploration. Help out NASA and the US government in their benevolent mission and save on the cost of space travel!

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Comrades, the Palestinian State has finally been established!.... on Mars:

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I'm terrified that nobody will get this one, but I had to do it:

LegionMuslimSpace2.png
Here's a link if you don't get it.

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Why stop with cardboard

We can get the MSM and TV involved as well to support the greater good.
Perhaps a remake of an old time favorite 'Lost in Space'

A modern adventure of a Muslim family on a spaceship named Freedom Flotilla 2.

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The Characters:

The family includes Professor Hakim Robinson, his wife, Maureenshib, their children, Djohdee, Bayan, and Wa'il. They will be accompanied by their pilot, US Space Corp Major Dhakir West who is married to the two daughters of Professor Hakim Robinson.

The characters also include Dr. Zachary Smithsky, the Jew who slips aboard the spaceship in an attempt to sabotage it.

We are also provided with the fabulous creation of a robot by the name of Sorena. A robot designed to protect the family and ship. The robot is quite entertaining as he runs around flapping his arms and sayings such things as, "Allah Akbar"; "Jihad" and "Hope and Change".

And of course, Comrades, the Muslims insist on ruling everything under the Moon and claiming all of History even before their "peaceful prophet" was born, this was more than appropriate!
cma_rapture_jump.jpg

Oh, and I'm not finished yet....
adopt_fdup_earth.jpg
NOW I'm done, Comrades!


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Comrade Rock - this is a very appropriate image. The pole dancer, I assume, is Rima Fakih.

Miss USA Rima Fakih: Stripper Pole Champion!

Years before she became the first Muslim-American to win the Miss USA crown, Rima Fakih won another prestigious title - "Stripper 101" pole dancing champion!

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This got me thinking... and here's another constructive idea!

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Yet another page in NASA Muslim outreach program wall calendar:

Trainees undergo rigorous training by NASA professionals, to prepare for any hard task that lies ahead.

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And another one: prepare for exciting space adventures!

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To atone for our sins against Islam we could have given Afghanistan a recently decom'd space shuttle to kick off their space program.

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ImageDo we really want to give the keys to flying objects to these people?

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Holy Wars are a nice touch. But didn't this Abbas Vader say "Barack! I am your father"?

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I can't photoshop, but wouldn't these delightful puppet characters make great Muslim outreach mascots?

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Muslim outreach program in France is going as scheduled...

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Islamic progress in historic photographs... Getting sharper with every step...

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We have forgotten that all scientific lore is owing to the Muslims. A millennium or so ago, a caliph had a stomach ache told his wise men to cure it. Absent Hartz Wormer, they found some old Greek scrolls which they found someone to translate and it was the knowledge of Ancient Greece. Sailing, math, astronomy, philosophy. We use it to this day.

If the Muslims didn't wipe their asses with their hands, all that dead white European male lore would have been bumpf.

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AMAZING SCIENTIFIC FACTS:

In 1272, Muslim scientists invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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Red, this is somewhat right, but that would mean that the Brits, who are white people, did something right. So it is obvious that just as Bush is responsible for the Plague of 1347, Mo is responsible for inspiring the Brits, hundreds of years later, for their discovery.

Did you know that in actuality the transistor was developed in Mecca in 1800? And just think: that was before the dynamo, or Bohr's atom, or just about anything. Also medicine, math, literature, and a lot of ways to be really really mean to people just because you can.

I love it.

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Islam_NASA_Ramirez.jpg
Michael Ramirez: "You invented math. So why the low self-esteem?"

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Er, the Arabic numerals are actually Hindi numerals. I believe that they invented double-entry bookkeeping. That's all I can find.

Oh, and they invented a President which would turn NASA into a Muslim-outreach service, to make them feel better about their scientific achievements. From NASA.

Next JPL will be giving ass-wiping lessons.

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Father Prog..... I thought it was the Venetians who invented that type of bookkeeping.
Thank you for correcting my ignorance concerning this matter.

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Krasnodar, I tried to read an accounting book some years ago which credited double-entry bookkeeping to the Arabs, and I figure why not? I couldn't of course finish the book on accounting because that would be a dose of reality and I'm a made prog, who hates reality.

ali12, I have utterly no desire to send Muslims to the grave before they die, although that's a contradiction in terms. Until 9/11/2011 I was perfectly content to ignore Muslims; they could do what they wanted and I didn't care. None of my business. I don't care.

But I kept waiting for an apology from the Muslim world for 9/11 and got nothing. Nothing. Shame. Nothing. Nothing for one of the most barbarous acts in human history. Nothing. No shame, no regret.

I still don't care about Muslims, as long as they don't care about me. I don't care what they do as long as they quit murdering people.

For the prophet. Yeah, murder for the prophet.

As far as sending "Muslims to the grave before they die," I don't quite get that. I wouldn't put anyone in a grave before he died. But then I wouldn't cut the head off a journalist either.

I'm serious, Ali. I really don't care about your religion as long as your religion doesn't want to murder me. That's it. That's really it. Do what you want. I give you license, as long as it's not murder.

Not murdering people who disagree with you is the minimum standard of civilized behavior.

Shout, demonstrate, yell, boycott--all just fine with me. But quit murdering people. That's ALL I ASK.

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Well, I would have to admit that my minimum standard goes a bit further than Theo's and also includes not conquering people and forcing one's religion on them or making them pay a tax and live as second class citizens if they don't convert.

But still, that's not so much to ask. Other than that I don't care if you party like it's 799 (AD).

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ROCK, you don't ask for everything all at once; I am obviously for gay marriage (what is better to take queers out of bars and let them grow old and fat together?) but I'm not married to the word "marriage"; civil union is fine. The marriage will come as a matter of course.

My biggest worry however is that cultures do not change by exposure to western liberalism, in the right sense of the word. Alan Greenspan, who worshipped Ayn Rand, thought that the Soviets would get an American-style law-abiding society with private-property rights but the culture triumphed. The totalitarian left, but I repeat myself, believes that policy can change culture. The right, being cynics and not being politically ideological--and this is the very difference between left and right--believe that culture drives policy. And it should.

It is I think no accident that the free market and its liberties are only respected fully in Anglo-Saxon countries.

And that's not for long. Lord Obama will lead us to the promised land of GroupThink, ThoughtCrime (the Dutch are doing this already), back stabbing, and a culture where the only value is political power.

Money will not be as important. Only political connections.

Just like any other fascist group.


 
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