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CIA-Trained Geese Bring Down Plane in New York

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I like the way you think, Red Star, and I have a further suggestion. Some years ago someone who owed me a meal, or a lot of meals, took me as his contribution to Long John Silver's. The food was execrable--fried bad breading in rancid oil, but the music worse. Sea chanties, which paused every 15 minutes to have a man in a fake pirate voice orate, "Ahoy, maties! The treasure ship's a-leavin'! Better catch the treasure ship!"

Its import was obvious. Bruno, however, had an idea, although it was of course quite by accident. He said, "Theocritus, what is we play them 'Memories'? by Babs? Everyone likes that." The problem is of course that it's emetic; to avoid projectile vomit would have to resort to the ball gags. But if the ball gags are in situ, then either they'd choke on their own vomit or their ears and eyes would explode.

I shall not rest until there are no more proles in fly-over country and the entire USSA is populated only by the bien-pensant progressives on both coasts.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:The food was execrable

Was it excretable?



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Did you collect it for the latest batch of PTC?

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I once ran over a Bull Canada Goose with my Chrysler. He tried to attack it while I was driving so I couldn't avoid him. He was so big that rather that smashing him completely, I just left a tire track through the middle of his back. I remember thinking to myself, as I glanced back at him in the rear-view mirror "I didn't know that cartoon stuff could really happen!"

Now I understand why they sent their Crack Suicide Squad to our country. I can embrace the guilt.

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products

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And therefore, I must let you in on a little secret, Comrade. The People's disArmament Committee, chaired by Comrade 7.62 and for which I serve as undersecretary (I prefer the female-superior position) has had this project developed in the People's Republik of Kanada for some time.

Since we had successfully snafu'd gun rights so thoroughly there, we were left with a conundrum: how to invade the USA from the North with limited weapons options. Overt military action would be too brash.

The answer leapt almost right out of the pages of Animal Farm. We took baby bull moose calves, re-educated them, and set them loose on the northern states.

You seem to have run across one of the fruits of our labors.

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Let's not forget Peter Jennings. Or Canadian pharmacies which disguise their intentions, and after you enter your credit-card information (for the mildest of generic drugs), say that there's an yet another step disguised as updating your profile, and then charge your credit card anyway. https://www.canadianpharmacymeds.com are these fine and wonderful people so advanced in the ways of deceit.

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I think that CAIR should do something about the fact that "Palestinian" and "Jewish" appeared in the same picture. It is offensive and against tolerance. We need to remove all words related to the Jews and cast them as unpersons.

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Or make them into swine. A madrassah in London had a contest on filthy names to call Jews--pigs, monkeys and so forth. Well, why not? They're the only democracy in the Middle East; they're the only one which treats everyone in hospitals; they're the only country with first-rate infrastructure; so they must be destroyed.

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We should call them "fascist antsemitist pigs". Antisemetism is a bad thing. All hatred for Jews should be called Anti-Zionism, using doublethink.

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Does it matter what we call it? After all, they're civilized in Israel and therefore have to go up against the wall. After the Israelis are gone, then we can import Japanese, Germans, and Americans to run the water and power supplies of Palestine, so that they will have plenty of scope to make bombs for whatever they next need to avoid taking stock of themselves.

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Japan HAS to be destroyed. I already told you it's scary people look at cute Anime girls, instead of pornography. We already talked about how pornography is liberation. However, a good thing to do is blame them after we remove America and Israel. Also, I should build a Ministry of Truth and there prove that the Holocaust was by Jews against Palestinians.

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Yes, the Jews did the Holocaust. And it was Jews which did 9/11. And I suspect that Jews were responsible for the honking big meter that hit in the Gulf of Mexico about 70 million years ago which killed the dinosaurs.

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The Dinosaurs are dead? How do you explain Robert Byrd? Ted Kennedy?

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No, no, no. The dead dinosaurs are the ones that you saw in <i>Jurassic Park</i>. You can tell them from Teddy and Byrd because they're not drunk and senile.

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Ahh. Well then. Perhaps the next Meteor can destroy the drunk and senile Politicis Senatoralis. A species that should be extinct by now.

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Pravda, they are our nomenclatura. I can hardly wait until in the upcoming congressional term, led by his O'liness, PBUH, we have, like Nero, a Senator marrying his horse. Well, John Kerry married his marmoset, and I suppose that's close enough. And she is a rich marmoset.

And we could have the Senate, as in the days of Caligula, running a brothel of the rich Washington socialite women. An actual one.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, the Jews did the Holocaust. And it was Jews which did 9/11. And I suspect that Jews were responsible for the honking big meter that hit in the Gulf of Mexico about 70 million years ago which killed the dinosaurs.

Of course! Which explains why the Jews are treated as "equal, but not equal" in the collective.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pravda, they are our nomenclatura. I can hardly wait until in the upcoming congressional term, led by his O'liness, PBUH, we have, like Nero, a Senator marrying his horse. Well, John Kerry married his marmoset, and I suppose that's close enough. And she is a rich marmoset.

And we could have the Senate, as in the days of Caligula, running a brothel of the rich Washington socialite women. An actual one.
And Bawney could run one of rich socialite men? Equality is all under the 'One'.

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Rich socialite men? You men David Geffen? If you read his autobiography, which I have not, it seems that he brags about the various men he's hired for their services.

However I see here an opening for tremendous fundraising. Each year there is a porn convention in Las Vegas. Made Progressives could be allowed the services of say Jenna Jameson. Or if the Made Progressive is rather long in the tooth, Marilyn Chambers or even Erica Jong. Made progressives of another persuasion could be allocated the services of say Matthew Rush. And all of this would be managed by Heisi Fleiss who has a laundromat in Pahrump, Nevada.

Being a good Progressive, I say that we ought not violate the law, when we can get points for not violating it, but when we need to, Katie bar the door. Prostitution is illegal in Clark County, Nevada. How fortunate for our dear friends in Congress and the White House that it is mandatory in D.C.

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Being a good Progressive, I say that we ought not violate the law, when we can get points for not violating it,
How many Air Miles would that translate to?

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None, directly, but lots as we appear on television shows and very self-righteously declaim our caring 'n' compassionate virtue and the evils of the Rethuglicans. No directly redeemable air miles but after a while you can intimidate the hell out of the airlines for free upgrades.

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Will we have to wear make up? Will we have to look into the Camera? Will we have to keep a straight face? (Settle for two out of three?)
Intimidation works. Ask the One. We will see if it works if your a Governor.
The Loyal Rethuglican Party Governors are groveling at the feet of the 'One' and he has bid them to make pressure on the Senators to pass the Obamessiah Bailout America Bill. We may need those points and air miles to help us hide our assests before the 'Ones' Tax Collectors come calling.

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Here in Texas, I'm sure that Governor Hair Gel Perry is also groveling at the feet of His O'liness. Of course if one of the smarter Rethuglican governors pulled out that little tiny ring at the back of his neck all would be sucked into the howling vacuum of his head.

{off}I served on a very small governmental board which needed the attention of Gov. Perry and Gov. Richardson of New Mexico to solve a water problem handed us by the drought and by the Supremes in Washington. Gov. Richardson, who is a plain crook, understood exactly what was going on. Gov. Perry couldn't quit picking his toes.


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{ off }I know. But the odd thing is that although I went to Rice I don't have a single friend from there. Not one. But I have lots of Aggie friends, and corpsmen too. Ever since I decided to be utterly honest they respected me a lot more, perhaps oddly enough seeming to be more human. Rice is very strange and I think similar places are. The people there were all so self-directed in high school that they were pretty much loners. I for example had taught myself electronics, boolean algebra and so forth by the time I got there. Designing my own stereos. I had friends in high school but simply didn't know how to hang out: I was reading or preparing for international science fairs or competitions. Or just studying subjects of interest like computers or philology. And I didn't learn conviviality there, surrounded by other people who were used to being loners. There was no bonding with others, for they were competition. In fact, the bowling team was at A&M and the Aggies gave more support to the Rice players than the Rice teammates did. Really good education, lots of fun sharpening wits. But fun? Not a bit of it.

The Aggies became part of something much bigger than they are. I'm a bit jealous of that.

Red Square wrote:A security footage showing what really brought down the plane in Hudson River. Apparently what choked the engines were the small turbans.

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ALLAH HONK QUACKBAR! ALLAH HONK QUACKBAR! ALLAH HONK QUACKBAR!

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Comrade Obamarchy wrote:
Red Square wrote:A security footage showing what really brought down the plane in Hudson River. Apparently what choked the engines were the small turbans.

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ALLAH HONK QUACKBAR! ALLAH HONK QUACKBAR! ALLAH HONK QUACKBAR!


Just in case you're starving and they're the only thing you can eat-don't do it. It will be a use of Disproportionate(tm) force.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, the Jews did the Holocaust. And it was Jews which did 9/11. And I suspect that Jews were responsible for the honking big meter that hit in the Gulf of Mexico about 70 million years ago which killed the dinosaurs.

Sorry, its true, we did kill the dinosaurs.

Commissar Theocritus, Here is all the proof you will ever need to support your theories:


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Rebbe, did you know that <i>The Protocols of the Elders of Zion</i> was written by Leonardo da Vinci and Isaac Newton? The met at the top of Le Mon St. Michel, well, Newton was a bit big by that time and he had to be hoisted up in that winch the monks used for their food, and Isaac and Leonardo worked non stop writing the book, pausing only to eat omelets.

It was published by Eleanor of Aquitaine, who wasn't satisfied with ruling two countries but she wanted to put dibs on what would become Israel centuries later. But she sort of lost heart when her son started showing interior-decorating talents.

The thread was picked up by Demosthenes, who used the manuscript to practice his oratory. People thought that he had pebbles in his mouth but it was spit balls made of old galley proofs.

Which were printed by Gutenberg, before he did the Bible.

So, you see, with all this intellectual firepower, it has to be true that Jews are ruining the world. Or something like that.

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If the Jews didn't aim to take over the world, it means something is not multicultural in the world.

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I got a message on my bridgework which echoed off my tin-foil hat which told me that Ralph Lauren is designing burqas for the fashionable Saudi women--for the stoning.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Rebbe, did you know that <i>The Protocols of the Elders of Zion</i> was written by Leonardo da Vinci and Isaac Newton? The met at the top of Le Mon St. Michel, well, Newton was a bit big by that time and he had to be hoisted up in that winch the monks used for their food, and Isaac and Leonardo worked non stop writing the book, pausing only to eat omelets.

It was published by Eleanor of Aquitaine, who wasn't satisfied with ruling two countries but she wanted to put dibs on what would become Israel centuries later. But she sort of lost heart when her son started showing interior-decorating talents.

The thread was picked up by Demosthenes, who used the manuscript to practice his oratory. People thought that he had pebbles in his mouth but it was spit balls made of old galley proofs.

Which were printed by Gutenberg, before he did the Bible.

So, you see, with all this intellectual firepower, it has to be true that Jews are ruining the world. Or something like that.

Interesting that you should bring this up. At our meeting last week we were discussing.......

Oops, never mind. Please look at the red light........ You remember nothing!

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Which eye should I look at it with? My eyes do not track, you know, and I can see things behind me with the eye in the back of my head.

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Which eye should I look at it with? My eyes do not track, you know, and I can see things behind me with the eye in the back of my head.


 
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