I merely want a cage match between Wright and Bill. With Sharpton to referee. And I get to dispose of the winner.
David FehertyFrom my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this though. Despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death.
Commissarka PinkieOr we could just fit everyone with implants that zap you every time you say something uncivil:
MAN: "Whew! Now wasn't that the best ever, baby?"
WOMAN: "If you must know, it was--AAGGH! OHHH! AAAGH! Oh my--YOWWW!"
MAN: "Wow! You're way over on the other side of the bed having another orgasm and I'm not even touching you. Damn, I'm good! Ain't I, babe?"
WOMAN: "AAGH!! I can't take anymore--AAGGH!"
MAN: "You just fell off the bed to the floor and you're still having an orgasm? You know what? I think you've been faking it all this--YOWW!"
Yes, I think this idea is just crazy enough to work.
The Jiffi-Lobo Implant:™ Now, after just a few zaps in the noggin, you can have that fresh Jiffi-Lobo(TM)
Red SquareBut never fear, Needs™ Czar is here!
The problem with healthcare today is that every individual owns his own individual organism. This nuisance can be quickly and inexpensively resolved with collective ownership of all human organisms by the state. Think of the pool of spare parts this opens for redistribution to each according to his Needs™!
This, of course, necessitates the ban of alcohol, tobacco, and trans-fats to keep the pool clean from contamination as we await the coming ProgWorld™ of Next Tuesday.
|YOU OWE ME YOUR KIDNEY|
There were people in the crowd who were anonymous and who had boxes which they could use to "take someone's head." If someone was not sufficiently prog, then his collar would explode.
I like that. It would cut down on the trips to Jiffi-Lobo for people who are recidivist.
Genosse PieckWoohoo! I contributed to the Greater Good! Do I get a medal for valiancy in class warfare? I will happily offer one of the coins I received from wealth-spread to re-strike as such.
Ach, Mitgenosse...the obligatorische deevaluation of currency means you must have a 55-gallon drum of these to make a noticeable contribution! It would require taking four peasants off the beet fields to haul it over to the local Commissariat!
But my snazzy new People's Currency means you only need a really big wheelbarrow!
I hereby appoint Comrade Pieck as the Czar of Puns.
I hereby appoint Comrade Strangelove as the Czar of Induced Multiple Orgasms.
Freude, schoener Goetterfunken! Now I can say that I did not intend anything! Prog-thought is so liberating.
I wanted to provide the de-valuta'ed 10 Mark coin to restrike it as a medal. Aluminum is very flexible.
What is with the funny hats on German bank notes? I think yours was snazzier.
this is not a beret. It's a medieval Laika receptor made of wool, before the invention of aluminum foil.
I miss the (D) Mark... sniff...
It's the Prog Way.
And you can burn your wheelbarrow full of cash to keep warm!
Oh. I live in the desert without any forests for leaves. This is grossly unfair.
However before we do that, I will dispatch a very large load of compressed leaves to you from the forests around Olympia.
Would you like a hundred pounds of fir needles as well to make small change with?
Commissar TheocritusI have greasewood leaves for that. Ah, the smell of creosote. Sometimes I can't tell if it's the impaling stakes or the shrubbery.
Oh, you just had to go and say "shrubbery" again, didn't you!
You know, I didn't like the smell of creosote when I first moved to Tucson when I was 5, but the smell of greasewood grows on one over time. Now, I love and miss the smell of Larrea tridentata after a summer thunderstorm.
BTW, I'll be leaving Dear Leader and the Korean Peninsula in the beginning of August. I'm moving to Ohio to manage a few projects in a DoD lab.
I have finally infiltrated the military industrial complex, comrades. Now I can undermine it from within for The Common Good!™
and while I'm at it...
I hereby recommend Marshal Pupovich for the title of Czar of Fire Hydrants
DDR KameradComrade Pieck--we must conserve aluminum to make foil hats! Therefore, paper makes a much better currency.
And you can burn your wheelbarrow full of cash to keep warm!
O glorious hyperinflation! Amerika's day has come at last, too!
And what about that 747 with the chemical laser for shooting down ballistic missiles? That would be really cool.
This is of course so I can understand them and prevent their ever being used when a Nansky's humongous plane flies over.
Has the DoD ever thought of weaponizing the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits? The real Jimmy Carter president nearly did in America; surely there's got to be something that Jimmy Carter is good for... I've been waiting 29 years to find out what but so far nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Commissar TheocritusHas the DoD ever thought of weaponizing the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits? The real Jimmy Carter president nearly did in America; surely there's got to be something that Jimmy Carter is good for... I've been waiting 29 years to find out what but so far nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Jimmy Carter is good for nothing?! NOTHING?! Au contraire, Comrade. Jimmy Carter is good for:
1. Spreading Social Justice(TM)
2. Mollycoddling terrorists
3. Denouncing Israel
4. Destroying capitalism
5. Saying "Nuclar"
6. Skyrocketing inflation
7. Rising gas prices
8. High interest rates
9. Promoting The Common Good(TM)
10. Winning Nobel Peace Prizes
I'm sure we can all come up with many more
And it lets me be so full of myself too--like any other good little Prog.
It was just a fugue going back into time. I promise it won't happen again.
at 5:30 min
the bastard is stealing my jokes.
My god that bastard is full of himself--giggling over jokes that someone else wrote. And all this media presence. Damn it, Barry. You're the freaking president now. Act like it. You're worse than Slick Willie.
A wise friend of mine months ago said she thought he was a front. My brother, who has the best bullshit detector I know, sees no sign of intelligence. There is good reason to believe that Bill Ayers wrote at least his first book. Evidently the Europeans are starting to realize that he's nothing more than a self-regarding puff-bag.
"My God! It's full of czars!"
Door Jigging Czar
Obama appoints Door Jigging Czar to ensure black men across America will feel free to jiggle doors without racial pressure being brought to bear.