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FLAT FLOTUS Shovels Food: Michelle Obama's New Cutout

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FLAT FLOTUS has got a new cardboard cutout made of herself eating, in order to help the mainstream media to raise awareness about her food choices. With this useful journalistic tool, news photographers can now stage any number of friendly, endearing, and highly educational photo ops to illustrate the First Lady's healthy dieting - without ever meeting her or even having to leave the studio!

Below are some examples.

Michelle Obama pays a visit to the Monument Valley in Arizona.

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Michelle Obama tours Fresh Kills Landfill in Staten Island, NY.

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And, finally, here's the cutout itself, on a PNG file with a transparent background. Your move, comrades!

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Nothing beats the Party's favorite delicacy. Bon appetite!

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Nice one! In the meantime, FLOTUS has been focusing on the little guy - just like her husband before her.

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Thank goodness Gaia that everyone can finally acquire a full life-sized cardboard image of Dear FLOTUS! Our Collective has been begging for hours days weeks months years for these Graphic Reminders Of Our Place In The World Of Next Tuesday.

The places for these Icons Reminders in the Collective are already reserved: one at the beginning and one at the end of the Collective Grub-A-Teria serving line will certainly cut down on the requested portion sizes! And another located by the rubbish bin will virtually eliminate any wasted food! Also, one by the Collective Herb-Garden will chase away those pesky crows...

Of course, one will be placed in the shrine meeting room dedicated to Dear Leader.

Naturally, one will be placed in every school room so that the children can march by every morning and kiss salute The Guardian Of Their Health.

[BTW: Where is the price break - 10? 100? 1000? And can we remit using beet vodka?]

[Incidentally, is it really true that Dear FLOTUS can finish off an entire lobster trough without using her hands - or a lobster bib? If so, that is nothing short of an heroic accomplishment on its own!]

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IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY MARX!!!! How many cattle have to be slaughtered to feed her???

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You damn commies and your cults of personality...

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Real picture or photo chop? What right wing thug makes " her daintiness" appear to be in need of a shave? Somebody is going to get a good swift kick in the chair sitter for this one!

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The First Wookie is turning into a white man...

..look at her shovel ready hand in the pictures of her eating (above)...

It must be all of this fine dining like a rich white male Capitalist pig...

I knew this would end badly.
First, Michael Jackson turned from a poor black boy into a rich white woman, now Michelle Obama is turning from an angry black woman into an angrier white man - she will probably start wearing a glove on the white hand first, but soon, all will see.

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The official work-safe version of the Michelle Obama War on Obesity cutout:

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Heh! heh!, you got spell checker?
Red Square wrote:FLAT FLOTUS
Did you mean FLOTUS or FLATULENCE?


..Remember, I am His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC [‘Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.

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FLATUS, my dear dictator: First Lady Above The United States.


 
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