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E-mail itInterview with Comrade Red Square. Mandatory Reading
Portrait by Supercommissar MaksimComrades! Your glorious leader Incarnadine Trapezoid was recently approached for an interview by a reactionary right-wing blog, Jumping in Pools. We never refuse a chance to proselytize and gain converts with our calculated, clean and articulate statements. As expected, the interview has instantly become the Current Truth™.
Red Square Speaks the Current Truth to Power
1. Who started the People's Cube and when?
We didn't start the People's Cube; it started us.
The Rubik's Cube with all sides equally red has always existed as a Platonic ideal, a beautiful dream of the humankind symbolizing a world without risk or failure, where no matter what you do and how badly you do it, you will always have a smashing success and reap equal rewards.
This also happens to be the goal of the progressive movement (whose adepts we are endearingly calling "progs").
To say "I came up with all this" would be wrong and individualistic. To be a true "prog" you have to believe that no idea can be called good, bad, new, old, owned, or stolen from someone else, because all ideas are equal inside our common collective consciousness. Our thoughts belong to no one and to everyone at once - an entity also known as The People™.
But the sound of The People™ talking all at once will make an awful noise, won't it? There must be an elite vanguard, a group of progs who can correctly read collective consciousness and articulate The People's™ thoughts while the rest of them shut the hell up. Having identified this massive demand, I launched ThePeoplesCube.com and volunteered my services as the People's Director in charge of Redistribution of Speech. It happened in the wild and turbulent year of 2005, when the international progdom was waging a victorious war against Bush's Doctrine to Invade Everyone and Steal Everything. The launch was gloriously implemented on April 1st, which since has been renamed into International Workers' Fools Day.
I was quickly joined by scores of like-minded comrades who aspired to serve The People™ by redistributing Time, Gravity, and other forces of nature, as well as man-made dry goods and appliances. In a sense, we are functioning as the World Government in Exile, preparing for the advent of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. And Laika the Space Dog is heroically orbiting the Earth, transmitting our signals to the tinfoil-hat-wearing masses around the planet.
Today our members live in the US, Canada, South America, Europe, Australia, South Africa, and Japan. Literally, the sun never sets on the People's Cube. The glorious Party organ is awake at any hour of day or night.
2. Do you consider the People's Cube to be a conservative Onion?
Marx forbid! We are a Stalinist version of the Onion! This has even been confirmed by Rush Limbaugh, whom I consider today's most talented and prolific working satirist in the English-speaking world. I also admire two great working satirists in the Russian-speaking world, whose wit, alas, can't be adequately reproduced in English. I'll name them for the sake of my fellow ex-Soviet immigrants: Zhvanetsky and Shenderovich.
Some say that Zhvanetsky was a major force behind the collapse of the Soviet system. He opened the nation's eyes to the absurdities of socialism so forcefully and with such disarming hilarity that no one could take the communist propaganda seriously any longer. His jokes did more damage to the Marxist ideology than a well-financed political think tank ever could.
As for the Onion, I have tremendous respect and admiration for it as well. I only wish its editors weren't occasionally blemishing it with inane leftist messages. Unfortunately, comedic talent doesn't always translate into great philosophical insights.
3. Your political commentary is stinging and on-point. Why go with comedy instead of straight journalism?
I've also written serious pieces. See them on Pajamas Media, American Thinker, Big Hollywood, JWR, etc. But sometimes a silly cartoon or a one-page parody has a greater impact than a ten-page essay. Humor is a shortcut to understanding reality. My propensity to take this shortcut has spared me the stress of writing hundreds of analytical articles, which could potentially lead to anxieties related to running a syndicated column, publishing a book, and hitting pay dirt prematurely.
And if you want to become an underpaid blogger like me, I can show you how. Register at ThePeoplesCube.com today for free and become a member of the glorious collective that creates hilarious and on-point parodies and graphics, all the while neglecting to attend Hollywood junkets, appear on Oprah, dance with the stars, or play squares with celebrities.
4. Tell our readers how you guys uniquely celebrated Draw Muhammad (pbuh) Day.
To paraphrase a Zen proverb, "If Mohammed draws a self-portrait, does he get to receive death threats from his followers?" On a related note, why waste a thousand words if you can click here for the picture?
5. In your opinion, what is the funniest article or piece the People's Cube has ever run?
As progs we strive for equality of funniness. The highest praise we dispense on our authors is "most equal." Our readers, however, are not all equally progressive, which results in an unequal number of page views. Such glaring inequity is something I have yet to understand, let alone predict. How can we promote guaranteed equality of results in real life if we can't achieve equal statistics on our own pages?
One way to make people laugh is to expose the crack between words and reality. But herein lies a problem. While the reality always stays the same, the ways to spin it are many. Just ask CNN. One good spin can show multiple diverging "realities," resulting in a diversity of "truths." It's the kind of diversity the media celebrates the most. So merely exposing the crack between words and reality is not enough. For your truth-based joke to be funny, the audiences must see the reality the way you do. If they aren't tuned in to your version of the truth, they won't laugh. It is for a reason that our editorial section is titled The Current Truth.
Here is an illustration of a typical American humor show.
If this is goes on a while longer, American humor shows may become more like this:
Americans today are roughly divided into two major groups with two different cosmologies - "conservatives" and "progressives." They see two different versions of reality, one of which is "more equal" than the other. That is why they rarely laugh at each other's jokes. The only force that can equalize them is political correctness. The goal of political correctness is to achieve unanimity by making all opinions equally absurd. If allowed to run unchecked, it will remove funniness from all jokes, rendering both liberals and conservatives equally humorless.
To those living within the confines of the "progressive" metaphysics, the People's Cube represents a secular version of the Devil. Just as Islamist fanatics are angered by the mockery of their faith, zealous progs are angered by the People's Cube mockery of utopian dogmas and their absurd moral code. They see such jokes as soulless, sacrilegious and sinful. There is nothing funny about blasphemy.
There also doubters and agnostics. I recently received a bunch of compliments from a "liberal" college professor who found the site absolutely hilarious. But then he almost begged me to reassure him we were "progressives" masked as "conservatives" who mock "progressives." It seemed that the "liberal" academic conditioning had encircled his tormented mind with mental barbed wire and thoughtcrime-preventing safeguards, disallowing him to accept the possibility that non-progs were capable of writing on a super-prog level. The cognitive dissonance then spurred his imagination to paint a chimera of "posers posing as posers." He found such rationalization more probable than the existence of rational thought outside the academic progdom. It's fun to make circles around progulous academics.
6. What is your favorite part of running a successful website?
Receiving a big friendly hug from Michelle Malkin (she had been linking to the Cube long before we met in person). Or having Pamela Geller give me her card asking to call her. Publishers are now sending me advance copies of their books for review. I just got Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One from Sentinel (Penguin Group). Even if I never read it, it's still cool to receive a book from a group of penguins.I also like reading fan emails, especially the messages attached to PayPal donations. They range from "best site evah" to heartfelt narratives about how the People's Cube helped them to open their eyes, clear their minds, quit drinking, and start a new life.
But nothing can beat knowing that I'm part of the wittiest group of people ever to hit the Internet - the People's Cube commissars and commissarkas - most of whom are now my good friends and comrades. Readers in foreign countries admitted to me they hadn't expected Americans to be so informed and consistently funny without being gross or obscene. Which also means it's possible to improve America's image in the world without being apologetic.
Red, a most equal interview, and I am touched by the fact that you chose to share the wealth when it came to taking credit for the Cube's ultimate progressiveness. We all know how I feel about being touched, though, so stop it.
I just had to add the quickest thought... you are soooo dashing in your glorious little outfit uniform! Such a striking form, you are. I shall be back to finish reading this glorious article as soon as my duties in the beet field are complete (and I've finished that bottle of vodka)
Very impressive interview comrade.
I enjoyed how the insane right-winger was constantly asking slanted and biased questions. Way to hold him off, and way to get the TRUTH out to all people!
I enjoyed how the insane right-winger was constantly asking slanted and biased questions. Way to hold him off, and way to get the TRUTH out to all people!
Comrade Square,
A most efficient interview. Your answers spanked my highly evolved, though party-approved - beet vodka augmented - funny bone. And now I am laughing again! It makes me want to slam some sweet-beet vodka shots and grab my shovel! *cue canned applause*
Next stop, the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. *cue more canned applause*
A most efficient interview. Your answers spanked my highly evolved, though party-approved - beet vodka augmented - funny bone. And now I am laughing again! It makes me want to slam some sweet-beet vodka shots and grab my shovel! *cue canned applause*
Next stop, the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. *cue more canned applause*
While I'm pleased to read that some people have started a new life as a result of The People's Cube, I'm also perplexed that it's caused others to clear their minds, open their eyes, and quit drinking.
That's no way to get Democrat votes.
That's no way to get Democrat votes.
Commissarka Pinkie
While I'm pleased to read that some people have started a new life as a result of The People's Cube, I'm also perplexed that it's caused others to clear their minds, open their eyes, and quit drinking.That's no way to get Democrat votes.
Indeed, comrade Pinkie, but I'm sure our comrades at ACORN will be able to "dig up" some votes somewhere.
A glorious interview. You are certainly a Red Square in a round hole as it were or if it were. I count myself glad to be a martyr in this glorious revolution of levity. I've died a thousand times already. It's a tough crowd these capitalists.
Quote:
But nothing can beat knowing that I'm part of the wittiest group of people ever to hit the Internet - the People's Cube commissars and commissarkas - most of whom are now my good friends and comrades. Readers in foreign countries admitted to me they hadn't expected Americans to be so informed and consistently funny without being gross or obscene. Which also means it's possible to improve America's image in the world without being apologetic.I must say, this was indeed a most glorious of glorious interviews that I have read in a good deal of timeliness. I have humble pride for your work - and must add, the last paragraph was were
This is the reason so many humble and glorious comrades remain loyal Cubist; loyal to our humble Gulag and our ever more humble dearest leader, Read Red Square.
Congratulatories on a job well done.
Your are of good teaching person. Soon all right-wing Rethuglican kapitalists will be for clamouring to The People's Cube™ and learning of such progressive ways. I to be looking with much anticipation for day my country peoples at Al-Jazzera will look to you also for the interview so such tidings can be for spreading throughout Mooslim world.
Mrs Al Czarweary
Your are of good teaching person. Soon all right-wing Rethuglican kapitalists will be for clamouring to The People's Cube™ and learning of such progressive ways. I to be looking with much anticipation for day my country peoples at Al-Jazzera will look to you also for the interview so such tidings can be for spreading throughout Mooslim world.Oh, glorious comrades Mrs Al, I think dearest Leader is on top of that 'shovel ready' job... he has NASA making nice with all the Mooslimics peoples to instruct them on how smart they are, so that they will know, they are smart and we are ready to kiss their ***. Soon we shall all be singing
Praise Obam
Thanks Red Square, you've done a wonderful thing here. Opening your website to the People rather than a select few staff writers and artists is truly revolutionary. As a result you've earned the loyalty, respect, admiration and friendship of everyone here.
you are indeed the People's hero, Red Square. Many thanks to you and all the Comrades here equally for being just so dang funny and so right. Is it ok to say "right"? Some of us might have stuck our head in an oven already having lost hope as we await the slow progressive coming of the glorious world of next tuesday. You keep our hope alive for glorious prog promises that never seem to manifest.
Welcome, Dona Marina! May your dulcet presence grace the Cube more often.
I am so gloriously pleased to see this most excellent interview. We (all things being equal) must follow our dear leader and achieve the world of next Tuesday by next Tuesday... fer shure!
(please forgive this simple proglodyte... I'm just trying to get my post count up to 'equal' levels)
(please forgive this simple proglodyte... I'm just trying to get my post count up to 'equal' levels)
Darski, I'm peased to see that you brought the kids with you to the Cube. They look just like you!
Comrade Darski,
In Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, all contributions are equal, regardless of quantity, and in my case, thanks to massive therapeutic doses of vodka, quality.
Fortunately, Comrade Square(pbhn) Glorious Leader Incarnadine Trapezoid™, heroically has shouldered our burdens and felt our pain and sharpened his helmet. He truly is the tip of the progressive spear! All that is left for us is to keep our shovels ready and our vodka bottles dry!
In Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, all contributions are equal, regardless of quantity, and in my case, thanks to massive therapeutic doses of vodka, quality.
Fortunately, Comrade Square(pbhn) Glorious Leader Incarnadine Trapezoid™, heroically has shouldered our burdens and felt our pain and sharpened his helmet. He truly is the tip of the progressive spear! All that is left for us is to keep our shovels ready and our vodka bottles dry!
My my Comradess Darski, that is a glorious family unit. Are you of the Mooslim following or is that Injun Indian?
It is most nice to see you and family. Welcome. And be of caution within the Cube, we would not want you to wobble and topple upon each other.
It is most nice to see you and family. Welcome. And be of caution within the Cube, we would not want you to wobble and topple upon each other.
Comrade Red Square,
The People™ extend to you a heartfelt congratulations on this most equal interview! Such inspiring words such as yours will clearly inspire the AmeriKan proletariat tolobotomies labor and deeds of valor. You have enlightened the purveyors of RethugliKKKan hate speech about the horrors glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday and His Excellency, B. Hussain Obama's plan for a new AmeriKa! A Soviet AmeriKa!
The People™ extend to you a heartfelt congratulations on this most equal interview! Such inspiring words such as yours will clearly inspire the AmeriKan proletariat to
Glorious Work our esteemed 4 equal sided leader!!!!
As for this,
Ahh, the supreme sacrifices you make for the Party. I can imagine the disgust and recoil you must have felt at having to hug that homely looking Michelle Malkin. But now that you have endeared yourself to both of those two she-devils, they will be converted to our cause in no time!!!!!!! On to the Glorious world of next Tuesday!!!!!!
As for this,
Quote:
Receiving a big friendly hug from Michelle Malkin (she had been linking to the Cube long before we met in person). Or having Pamela Geller give me her card asking to call her.Ahh, the supreme sacrifices you make for the Party. I can imagine the disgust and recoil you must have felt at having to hug that homely looking Michelle Malkin. But now that you have endeared yourself to both of those two she-devils, they will be converted to our cause in no time!!!!!!! On to the Glorious world of next Tuesday!!!!!!
Comrade Red Square:
Please allow me to grovel and bask in your light of wisdom and vision. I too would be very pleased to be in the presents of Comrade Malkin. In fact, I once met her at C.P.A.C a few years back.
While on a fact finding (spying) mission for the Motherland……OK…..you got me. A friend could not make it to C.P.A.C, and I was on my way from the Peoples Republic of New Jersey to the “Work in Progress” Peoples Republic of North Carolina and he had tickets he gave to me. But none the less it was most glorious. I had to remove my “Foil Hat” to not be discovered by the Republkkkans.
As for the "liberal" college professor, we should beam with pride that he is instructing our youths. ("Utes" for Comrades in North Jersey and Downstate New York).
Just think how many people get paid, and receive tenure for jerking off in public as he does, more over not getting arrested!
All I can say is continue your fine and noble work, Stalin Be Praised
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
Please allow me to grovel and bask in your light of wisdom and vision. I too would be very pleased to be in the presents of Comrade Malkin. In fact, I once met her at C.P.A.C a few years back.
While on a fact finding (spying) mission for the Motherland……OK…..you got me. A friend could not make it to C.P.A.C, and I was on my way from the Peoples Republic of New Jersey to the “Work in Progress” Peoples Republic of North Carolina and he had tickets he gave to me. But none the less it was most glorious. I had to remove my “Foil Hat” to not be discovered by the Republkkkans.
As for the "liberal" college professor, we should beam with pride that he is instructing our youths. ("Utes" for Comrades in North Jersey and Downstate New York).
Just think how many people get paid, and receive tenure for jerking off in public as he does, more over not getting arrested!
All I can say is continue your fine and noble work, Stalin Be Praised
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
Fraulein Pulloskies
My my Comradess Darski, that is a glorious family unit. Are you of the Mooslim following or is thatIt is most nice to see you and family. Welcome. And be of caution within the Cube, we would not want you to wobble and topple upon each other.
Indeed my family is utterly and completely of the Russian tradition. With this particular family unit style you can never tell if there are more there than you can see with the eyes. it is a tradition that there are 7 family units so you have to wonder where are the others?
I have chosen to use the Cloward and Piven strategy... with 7 family units there are more beets to go around at the expense of the filthy rich.
Also with 7 family units the vodka rations can be (cough, cough) improved with a sympathetic worker.
Three cheers for Tavarish Red Square !!!!! Lenin would be real proud!
Redsquare,
To share with progressives the secret of the peoples cube success is tantamount to traitorous behavior! You have betrayed the party!
I have been known to show mercies from time to time and will no longer delay sentence as the Party will soon sweep into the PeoplesCube and implement a hostile takeover!
Considering that this web-site will he taken down, please redeem your soul by meeting with our progressive leader next Friday, under the 4th and 'T' street bridge in Sacramento. I enclose a picture here for your eyes only.
Your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to pro-create the glorious future of the Party withname deleted! If you do not chose to accept this mission, please excuse us prog's for removing your web-site forever!
To share with progressives the secret of the peoples cube success is tantamount to traitorous behavior! You have betrayed the party!
I have been known to show mercies from time to time and will no longer delay sentence as the Party will soon sweep into the PeoplesCube and implement a hostile takeover!
Considering that this web-site will he taken down, please redeem your soul by meeting with our progressive leader next Friday, under the 4th and 'T' street bridge in Sacramento. I enclose a picture here for your eyes only.
Your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to pro-create the glorious future of the Party with
Comrade Red Square--
I'm still filtering your comments in your interview with publishers of a capitalist rag. I must study these comments in depth to find all examples of possible thought-crimes. Unfortunately, I cannot do so by Next Tuesday (which is tomorrow), but I hope to be ready by Next Friday.
Suspiciously Yours,
--Thought-Crime Warden.
I'm still filtering your comments in your interview with publishers of a capitalist rag. I must study these comments in depth to find all examples of possible thought-crimes. Unfortunately, I cannot do so by Next Tuesday (which is tomorrow), but I hope to be ready by Next Friday.
Suspiciously Yours,
--Thought-Crime Warden.
darski, so humbly proud we are of your endeavorments to keep your beet and vodka rations. Good work (just don't forget to gleefully "share" with all the Collective in the Cube. We are, cough cough, vodka connoisseur)
mitrokhinkgb
Three cheers for Tavarish Red Square !!!!! Lenin would be real proud!In fact, Lenin WAS a proud reader of the People's Cube and even contributed articles to the Hammer & Popsickle section under the pen name Ninel.
As our Commissar of Time has recently revealed, Red Square received the mandate to run the People's Cube from Lenin shortly before his untimely mummification followed by death.
I've always loved "mummifications", Red Square. Embombing (oh pardon, that is strictly a Mooslim agenda) Embalming is always such fun - emptying the vodka, getting more vodka, emptying the vodka, getting more... well, you see of what I speak. As dealyr beloved late Mr. P always said, "there is nothing as good as a good embalming"... or whatever. We considered opening a shop, "Mummy's R Us" but were short on funding (CURSES ON BUSH!) . . . and the dearly beloved late Mr. P was saying it might be confused with a maternity shop.
Ahhh, thank you comrade Oleg.
May your farm collective overflow with ripe beets and potatoes.
May your farm collective overflow with ripe beets and potatoes.
All smiles for the collective's success!
LibertyToad
Ahhh, thank you comrade Oleg.May your farm collective overflow with ripe beets and potatoes.
No Eruca sativa?
I smell a counter-revolutionary.
Your political commentary is stinging and on-point. Why go with comedy instead of straight journalism?
Why does this person make bad joke of this serious dialoguisms? 'Comedy' is like counterrevolutionary mouse attempting to elude capture by cat of State, yes? I am newly to new Socialist America Paradise and not understanding much of the Yanqui sloganisms.
I have come for ready for shovel jobs. We followed glorious Red Star that appeared XI-08-08 over humble village in Dogturdistan and lead for me here myself and humbled family. We have small home in public place but many people each day come into house and make faces in mirror. Secret police hiding inside walls take photos just like back home, but in Amerika Secret Police give photos to people from mailbox. This Amerika is perplexment to us.
I go to each work but they tell me not need my lovely shovel, Zifflikka. No coal, no dung, no entrails to shovel in Amerikka. I am weary of working without Zifflikka. She sad to.
Please help me understand Socialism of Amerika more gigantically each day. I need ready to shovel job from Mr. Joe Biden.
Sincerely,
Koba & Zifflikka
Why does this person make bad joke of this serious dialoguisms? 'Comedy' is like counterrevolutionary mouse attempting to elude capture by cat of State, yes? I am newly to new Socialist America Paradise and not understanding much of the Yanqui sloganisms.
I have come for ready for shovel jobs. We followed glorious Red Star that appeared XI-08-08 over humble village in Dogturdistan and lead for me here myself and humbled family. We have small home in public place but many people each day come into house and make faces in mirror. Secret police hiding inside walls take photos just like back home, but in Amerika Secret Police give photos to people from mailbox. This Amerika is perplexment to us.
I go to each work but they tell me not need my lovely shovel, Zifflikka. No coal, no dung, no entrails to shovel in Amerikka. I am weary of working without Zifflikka. She sad to.
Please help me understand Socialism of Amerika more gigantically each day. I need ready to shovel job from Mr. Joe Biden.
Sincerely,
Koba & Zifflikka
Commissarka Pinkie
While I'm pleased to read that some people have started a new life as a result of The People's Cube, I'm also perplexed that it's caused others to clear their minds, open their eyes, and quit drinking.That's no way to get Democrat votes.
I thought that is what ballot stuffing was for.
Comrade Red-
With great interest have I read your English-language interview posted above. You certainly voice the Perfect Expression Of The Revolutionary Zeal Of The Enslaved Proletariat! Clearly it is a pronouncement that deserves the award of a Hero Of The Peoples Cube Medal! When the caucusing begins for the award of this year's Medal, I am already making plans todenounce heartily endorse your candidacy!
With great interest have I read your English-language interview posted above. You certainly voice the Perfect Expression Of The Revolutionary Zeal Of The Enslaved Proletariat! Clearly it is a pronouncement that deserves the award of a Hero Of The Peoples Cube Medal! When the caucusing begins for the award of this year's Medal, I am already making plans to
PeoplesCube,
Take notice!
A warning from Obama...
And not be be outdone, we have Harry Reid starring in "The Power Grab!"
Coming soon!
ReverendKscribe -
Much appreciated. Now, about the picture. If you want to have your avatar shown in your posts, you must set it up in your profile. Uploading the same picture to the site every time you make a post is unproductive and overloads the server.
Collectively yours,
Red Square
Much appreciated. Now, about the picture. If you want to have your avatar shown in your posts, you must set it up in your profile. Uploading the same picture to the site every time you make a post is unproductive and overloads the server.
Collectively yours,
Red Square
Kopngrats, Comrades. It is great to see that your efforts have not gone unnoticed. I have just returned from The People's Republic of China. My excitement to enter such a glorious Red-State of progressivism could not be subdued. In my exploration of this progressive paradise I went to Tien An Men Square, site where the People's government so gloriously put down the rebel uprising in 1989. In the Red-Square were tens of thousands of like-minded freedom hating progs who were waiting in line for hours to get a glimpse of the tomb of the great Chairman Mao. Red flags, communist propoganda, and statues and images of the grand Chairman will make your blood turn red with joy, comrades. But, I must admit it here, it was not all glorious in The People's Square. As I made may way through the heart of China's glorious monument to collectivism I experienced some terrible realities. Chinese comrades were practicing capitalism. CAPITALISM! In the heart of communist China! These traitors were selling Chairman Mao hats, fake Rolex watches, Chairman Mao watches, umbrellas, Chinese fans, and numerous other quailty items! For PROFIT< nonetheless! The gall, Comrades! Seeing Chinese comrades standing in the suqare dedicated to The People's communist Republic and to have people practicing capitalism in order to subsidize and counter their mediocre government rations made my stomach sick......or was that the local water? I digress. What I was proud to see, comrades, was how much The People's Republic of China seems to appreciate our glorious leader Obama's contribution to the communist cause. "Oba-Mao" shirts were everywhere! Along with other glorious leaders such as Stalin, Marx, Castro, and Che, Obama could be found right along side of his fellow travelers. I do apolgize for one thing, Comrades. I wore my "The People's Cube" t-shirt to the square, but, in my sadness upon leaving The Peopl's Republic, I seem to have lost my camera memory card along with ALL of my photos taken during my travels. Very sad. Once again. Kongrats on your rekognition for your contributions to the cause of spreading "Current Truth" to the masses. Sincerely, El Presidente
El Presidente-
I denounce you for labeling the Revanchist Tien AnMen Square Revolution Against Peace And Social Justice as a a mere "rebel uprising". It was A Rebellion Against History Itself!
Also, you acknowledged the existence of blood-sucking capitalist parasites within The Current Home Of The World-Wide Communist Revoultion. These Things Are NOT TO BE DISCUSSED! (Can you still get me a Chairman Mao Watch?)
I denounce you for labeling the Revanchist Tien AnMen Square Revolution Against Peace And Social Justice as a a mere "rebel uprising". It was A Rebellion Against History Itself!
Also, you acknowledged the existence of blood-sucking capitalist parasites within The Current Home Of The World-Wide Communist Revoultion. These Things Are NOT TO BE DISCUSSED! (Can you still get me a Chairman Mao Watch?)
Thank you for the report, Comrade Presidente. I'm sure your memory card is now being thoroughly enjoyed by the guards of the most progressive ideology, who are redistributing your precious moments to each according to his needs. And so it should be!
A most equal and glorious interview! You have outdone yourself once again. Except for all those other times that were equally equal. You were even so humble, which only makes us adore our six sided leader even more.
{off}
What came first, The Cube, or The Collective? The Cube is an equal ray of sunshine in a bitter world, I enjoy it daily, and thank you for giving The Collective a place to gather.
{off}
What came first, The Cube, or The Collective? The Cube is an equal ray of sunshine in a bitter world, I enjoy it daily, and thank you for giving The Collective a place to gather.
Red Square,
Does the avatar load automatically?
I guess it does. Well done I say.
I shall sharpen the shovel and be at the station at 06:00 tomorrow!
Shovel ready!
Does the avatar load automatically?
I guess it does. Well done I say.
I shall sharpen the shovel and be at the station at 06:00 tomorrow!
Shovel ready!
Comrade Unkulturny
Also, you acknowledged the existence of blood-sucking capitalist parasites within The Current Home Of The World-Wide Communist Revoultion. These Things Are NOT TO BE DISCUSSED! (Can you still get me a Chairman Mao Watch?)Apparently my 15 days of re-edukation in China was not long enough, Comrade Unkulturny. I bow to you for correcting my error.
Red Square
I'm sure your memory card is now being thoroughly enjoyed by the guards of the most progressive ideology, who are redistributing your precious moments to each according to his needs. And so it should be! Sir. That makes me feel so much better knowing that the product of my efforts is being redistributed so gloriously. It is your ability to redirect us back to the collective and away from our own selfish wants that make you so important to the cause.whee, now that I've sobbed up recouped from a long, taxing (praise Obama!) week in the beet fields (where's it's 102+ with 80% humidity... if anyone was curious), I've had more time to consume the consumables of this most gloriously written interview and give it nothing by praises! Being a very wee small part of anything so "gloriously" fundamental, important and 'progressive', is truly an honor. Highest respect to Comrade and real Leader, loyal Red Square.
Fraulein 102, it would appear that you are basking in a comfortable peoples work Conditions.
Yes it has been 90's and 90% humidity here in the little peoples republic, basking in the glorious aftermath of Jon Corizslime. Yes beautiful New Jersey.
El Presidente 15 days in re-education camp aye. Perhaps I should have some of mygoonsHighly Trained Life counselors, come to visit you...
Around Midnight usually...
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
Yes it has been 90's and 90% humidity here in the little peoples republic, basking in the glorious aftermath of Jon Corizslime. Yes beautiful New Jersey.
El Presidente 15 days in re-education camp aye. Perhaps I should have some of my
Around Midnight usually...
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
I once rode a motorcycle down the New Jersey Turnpike during rush hour in a thunderstorm. It was like riding through an open sewer.
Ivan Betinov
I once rode a motorcycle down the New Jersey Turnpike during rush hour in a thunderstorm. It was like riding through an open sewer.Well aren't you the lucky one! You could have stopped and allowed yourself to be Mugged in Beautiful Newark..
Nein, Comrade Red Star, the, err, umm, picture of which you must be referencing, was taken a wee bit back, before my toiling beet field work.
Comrade Ivan, if I recall New Jersey, it's always like riding in an open sewer.
Comrade Ivan, if I recall New Jersey, it's always like riding in an open sewer.
Red Square
Your political commentary is stinging and on-point. Why go with comedy instead of straight journalism?"Comedy"? You mean this isn't for real?
Komissar Blogunov
Red Square
Your political commentary is stinging and on-point. Why go with comedy instead of straight journalism?"Comedy"? You mean this isn't for real?
(Prog Off)
Actually, the cube offers more real news than the MSN. Simply watch PMSNBC, at least the cube adds humor, where as they simply ram some new lie down your throat.
(Prog on)
Yes with Comrade Tweety Mathews, I pee my pants, and went to Bovine University Overbite, And least us forget Rachel Madcow, the Peoples message is delivered.
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
Comrade Red Square, this is the most-equal of most-equal interviews. I wept reading it, and my staff had to administer a catnip sedative after my 20 consecutive hours of babbling hyperactively about Next Tuesday.
I am humbled to be among such progressive intellects in saluting your, nay, the People's, achievement. Sincere congratulations to you and to the collective!
Now, as a mere cat, I have a short attention span, and I hear the can opener.
I am humbled to be among such progressive intellects in saluting your, nay, the People's, achievement. Sincere congratulations to you and to the collective!
Now, as a mere cat, I have a short attention span, and I hear the can opener.
Comrades, I propose toast to our Glorious Leader... Comrade Red Square!! Your inspiration to the proletariat knows no bounds. We salute you Comrade Red Square!! (plus, we know it's to the gulag if we don't salute...)
I know this may be somewhat decadent, but I have been saving a bottle of vodka for such a special occasion.... please excuse for moment, I'll have Svetlana get those drinks for us.....
I know this may be somewhat decadent, but I have been saving a bottle of vodka for such a special occasion.... please excuse for moment, I'll have Svetlana get those drinks for us.....
I feel we should demand,"Comrade Red Square" Day, followed by "People's Cube History" month. School children will need to write reports on the glorious Cube and all it factual postings.
I can see it now Car dealerships offering Comrade Red Square savings, Macy's mark downs.
Perhaps...should I dare say......"Comrade Red Square" for President......
Yes, I will sent myGoons, highly trained poll takers to do a test poll, on our dear leaders chances. Hail Red Square!!!
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
I can see it now Car dealerships offering Comrade Red Square savings, Macy's mark downs.
Perhaps...should I dare say......"Comrade Red Square" for President......
Yes, I will sent my
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
Comrade Red Star, the People's Director is far too modest for that. A ten foot tall bronze, nay platinum statue of him holding a glass of vodka in the hand of his outstretched arm with a naked woman lying seductively at his feet will suffice.
Yes, I agree completely. However, I shall have to finish reading the interview after I return. You've inspired me to assist the glorious Dear Leader in assuring the democratic succession to his son. So strictly in the spirit of a collective effort to give that great devil Amerika a bloody nose, I am devoting all my labors to offer up some truly scary scenarios about how the great People's Republic of the Nork will force the imperialist forward vanguard of the weakling useful idiot in the half-white house to stay out of our Yellow Sea. If not, it will be surely become our great Orange Sea after the nuke-fried blood of the young feckless and degenerate boys and girls (???!!!) of the George Washington is librully mixed in.
And thus we will achieve the immortal greatness that even the fabled Politburo of the unhappily departed Soviet Union could not bring themselves to pull the trigger to achieve. They had a failure of commitment from which Dear Leader will never ignominiously suffer.
Oh the glory!
.........now, if we can only get the damn thing to detonate.
And thus we will achieve the immortal greatness that even the fabled Politburo of the unhappily departed Soviet Union could not bring themselves to pull the trigger to achieve. They had a failure of commitment from which Dear Leader will never ignominiously suffer.
Oh the glory!
.........now, if we can only get the damn thing to detonate.
A most gloriously equal and equally most glorious interview. Surely, Comrade Incarnadine, your mind speaks with the tongues of us all.
Where can I get me one of them spinners?
Where can I get me one of them spinners?
"Readers in foreign countries admitted to me they hadn't expected Americans to be so informed and consistently funny without being gross or obscene."
I thought we were supposed to start with being gross and obscene and then work our way up. My bad.
I thought we were supposed to start with being gross and obscene and then work our way up. My bad.
AbecedariusRex
"Readers in foreign countries admitted to me they hadn't expected Americans to be so informed and consistently funny without being gross or obscene."I thought we were supposed to start with being gross and obscene and then work our way up. My bad.
I too was under such an impression. Obscenity, The Obligatory "Fart Jokes" Followed by"Potty humor", much writings with seeming less, race and nationality and gender references. Ex. Blond Jokes, (Test on my Wife first, for eye rolls)
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
AbecedariusRex
"Readers in foreign countries admitted to me they hadn't expected Americans to be so informed and consistently funny without being gross or obscene."I thought we were supposed to start with being gross and obscene and then work our way up. My bad. Yes, you're quite equally right about the proletariat's collective progressive evolution. As evidenced by Great Britain's collective devolution demonstrated in their vile attempts to dismantle England's glorious universal heath care (among other equally shared
He's more talented than The Mime (Marx Rest his Soul).
He has the Obamessiah beat...Least he can do something
All that hot air he has a good chance of getting into politics.
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