Oh, well played, Kulak, well played. Now you're in favor and I'm even more vegetated for having mouthed off.

If I could feel my arm, I would salute you.

I've noticed that alot of people here are suggesting reeducation for this poor poor man, AND I DENOUNCE THE LOT OF EM!!

Komrades this man must not be reeducated, he is a lost cause and an enemy of the party. Simply consider the following: 1. He is accepting personal responsibility for his own actions, thoughtcrime. 2. He is telling others about this and trying to convince them of this thoughtcrime, anti-social sabatoge against the party. 3. HE HAS GOOD PENMENSHIP! this makes him unequal to people like me who have the penmenship skills of a small child and very unequal to people who can't write at all.

In light of all this it is obvious that this man is a not simply a tool of the IRON HEEL but a willing member and possibly a central conspiricist to its insideous aims to destroy global unity under socailism. Sending him to the reeducation center is putting our own reeducators at risks of assasination and contamination.

THE ONLY SOLUTION IS THAT THIS MAN BE SHOT! THEN GASSED! THEN MULCHED AND SHIPPED TO AFRICA AS PART OF THE SAHARAN FIVE YEAR AGRAIRIAN PLAN WHICH WILL TURN THAT USELESS DESERT INTO A THRIVING PEOPLE'S PARADISE BY NEXT TUESDAY!

Oops, see below.

Pasternak,
Yea, I came off slicker than snot this time. I do admire your collective Party humility and sense of humor; it sends a tingle up my armpit.

Pasternak, I have to admit I'm not really too optimistic about my prospects in the long run; after all I'm a Kulak; a cog in the glorious collective State mechanism; grease applied to the gears which must chew me up in the end.

Yes, as a Kulak I've accepted the fact that one foot is already in the grave; but have some compensation with the knowledge that I'm a pimple on the ass of the all-powerful, Immortal, Infallible, Inner Party and State. I've received absolution from the Party Priests of Power. Do you know how good that feels? It sends a tingle up my leg.

BTW Pasternak, now that your Corpus Callosum has been severed you will no longer be able to tell if you are in your right mind. You won't have to worry about Doublethink any longer; the lies of Inner Party Newspeak will pass right on through you without causing any harm whatsoever; you won't even notice what's happening. Really man; consider yourself lucky. What a glorious Inner Party we have; they can use Newspeak lies on the stupid and those like yourself with severed Corpus Callosi without worry. They can also lie in Newspeak to the intelligent but less equal, with full knowledge that (intelligent but insane) Doublethink will neutralize the lie. Man what a glorious system of State tyranny, i.e.: Social Justice; built upon nothing but lies and the use of a little psychology.

You know, Pasternak; the more I think about the arch thought criminal (Orwell), the more I have come to the realization that all of this can be reduced to a simple maxim: The Inner Party Priests of Power may stay in oligarchic power eternally by manipulating (with Newspeak lies) the sanity of stupidity and the insanity of intelligence.

And that, Comrades, is why I invented Jiffi-Lobo. It is the great equalizer. The stupid do not need it; the intelligent sometimes might get vexed when they cannot hold down that sneaking feeling that they're just a bunch of fools.

Do you ever have moments of rage for no reason whatsoever? It's rage against social injustice! Don't ever think that it's misdirected anger arising out of internal contradictions. Because, if you're very antisocial you might seek to resolve those contradictions.

Ever start to think about something that you know that you ought to think about but just can't <i>make</i> your mind go there, no matter how hard you try? That's because the injustices of the world are crying out to you for redress. Do not ever think that there's a critical bit of self-deceit which is about to explode inside your head, because if you actually think about it, it will be walking over a cliff. You might not survive, and if you did survive, you would be changed, and free, and see very clearly. And so we can't have that. Do <i>not</i> know yourself. It's dangerous. It makes you a free agent. Know the Party. That's safe.

So nurture your rage. Own your own sense of hurt and injustice. And never think about anything which might actually come to a conclusion which you don't approve already. In other words, don't explore your mind, don't explore your thoughts, don't follow things to their rational conclusion.

And for help, there is the Democratic Party Platform, and of course Jiffi-Lobo.

Kommrades, we can only hope that Kommrade Reid has the Progressive heart of Kommrade Pelosi who so daringly made worthless promises to House members to secure Healthcare Bill designed to end Prols self-reliance for medical care.
Thanks to Nanski's certain renounciations of worthless promises Prols like Kommrade Kookish will share in all People's lack of any effective Healthcare!
Once again Kommrade Pelosi sets new levels of Progressive doublespeak!

Commissar Theocritus,
The compassion and Social Justice of the Inner Party never ceases to amaze me. Their Department of Education (Ministry of Education - Newspeak for Ministry if Ignorance and Stupidity) sees to it that our young people remain in a state of ignorance and stupidity. This was planned long ago in order to protect our youth from the Party's Newspeak lies: Those necessary lies pass right through them "just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird;" causing them no harm. This is Inner Party compassion at its highest.

As for those of us who are older; we who have benefitted from a good education prior to the advent of Social Justice; the Inner Party has again outdone its self. In their infinite compassion they have not forgotten about us, nor neglected our plight. The Inner Party Priests of Power have invented Doublethink for us. All we have to do is strap on our State-approved Doublethink insanity, and voila; the necessary Newspeak lies of the State ricochet in our intelligent minds forever. This causes harm; but isn't insanity better than the forced labor camp or the bullet?

Yes, The Inner Party is on the verge of ushering in a new Utopia - one with far more Social Justice than that of the Soviet Union. In thinking about my children, I have a dream and a vision of the future which literally takes my breath away.

Ah, yes, Kulak; I see that you are snuggling into the embrace of the arms of the Party.

Do you have the latest firmware in your Superheterodyne, Phased-Antenna-Array, Mu-Metal-Shielded Tin-Foil Hat? This is the one which blocks reception of Bum Limbaugh and Faux Noise, but allows perfect reception of The Current Truth du Jour, du Minute, du Second, from Laika, Noble Space Dog, who circles above us to give us Truth, Justice and the Progressive Way. Oh, and all that social justice shit too.

The new tin-foil hat is specifically designed to fit over the concavity in your forehead after successive Jiffi-Lobos.

Commissar Theocritus,
I've been thinking on the Newspeak subject of the Party's Infallible Social Justice, so I'll need some more State absolution as to the thinking.

It came to me that Inner Party Social Justice flows from the non-self-evident truth that all men have evolved equally from pond scum, but that the Inner Party has evolved more equally from the flowers surrounding the pond.

Also, the Inner Party of our glorious infallible State has endowed its self with certain unalienable rights; that among these are the life, liberty and private property (pursuit of happiness) of the masses of proto-Proletarians, Proletarians and Kulaks. That to secure these rights the Inner Party and State were instituted among the masses, deriving their powers of Social Justice without the informed consent of the governed.

This is Inner Party Social Justice! Let the Party's Social Justice roll down from the heights of our State like a mighty river.

Since I've been re-educated by the Inner Party (both in thought and feelings) I've been able to forcefully cram the Party's propaganda of Social Justice down into my frontal lobes (even into my limbic lobes, amygdalae and brainstem) with an act of prodigious Doublethink; thus undoing the actual thinking and accepting the self-evident Newspeak lies. Not only can I now Doublethink the insanity of Inner Party Social Justice; I can feel it. So, as I ponder these glorious State and Party matters further; State absolution may not be necessary after all.

Kulak, I'll let you in on a little secret of the Inner Party, strictly <i>in camera</i>. You gotta talk the talk, but you don't gotta walk the walk. Look at Al, the Holy Gore, Primate of the First Church of Climatology. He thinks that everyone ought to sit in the mud and weeds, cold and naked, while he has a big yacht and takes private jets and his house uses ten times the energy of that Bu$hitler's house. But the Holy Gore is Holy, and the Bu$hitler is evil. Get it?

Teddy K. wanted Obamacare. But did he use it? Noooooo! When he had brain troubles he didn't go down to the ghetto hospital's ER; he went to the hospital with a scanning electron microscope.

And I never bother with Doublethink. I'm a rat-bastard Made Progressive and I say, "Screw everyone else. I don't give a shit about other people. If it's not nailed down, it's mine, and if I can get it, it wasn't nailed down."

Dear Rahm taught me that one. While he was biting the heads off hamsters and sucking out their guts.

So! At last we learn the source of "Battering" Rahm Emanuel's great power; the delicious essence of small furry animals. PETA won't be happy, but then again PETA's never happy.

This discussion has resulted in certain thoughts and feelings which I'm convinced represent a prophetic tremor in the Collective Force, and has come into my mind directly from the Inner Party through their latest version of Infallible Doublethink - possibly even Triplethink.

Eurasia no longer exists; it never existed. The word "Euro" no longer has meaning; it never had meaning. Oceana is now allied with Middle Asia (Umma), that which is sometimes referred to by thought criminals as Eurasia. Oceana has always been allied with Middle Asia. Oceana's Holy Book will henceforth be known as Manifesto, while Middle Asia's Holy Book will henceforth be known as Koran.

Oh, for the love of the Holy State; my daughter has the cutest little hamster at home which she loves dearly. I won't discuss these matters with her - no mention of the extremely equal Holy Rahm; as Infallible a Party Priest of Power as there ever was.

I have fellt an additional disturbance in the Collective Force; but this time originating from an ancient source outside of the Inner Party; superceding and mortally threatening it. This Force derives from billions of individuals, living and dead, joined together by Truth, Reason Intellegence and Sanity (anti-Newspeak/anti-Doublethink). This Force is as old as the human race - older; but it debuted fully formed in 1776. Additionally this Force is animated by something that I can only describe as Alive, Free, Wild, Creative, Eternal, Infinite and Fearful; rendering the Party and their Priests of Power finite, weak, and destructive in comparison. This Force has been dormant for a long period of time, but it will never die. It is unquenchable, invincible and welling up; ready to explode once again upon the Earth, and it will bring the Inner Party to its knees and it's Priests of Power will be extinguished.

Oceana no longer exists; it is being replaced by Americana. Americana is at war with Middle Asia (Umma). The Holy/Rational documents of Americana shall henceforth be known as Declaration and Constitution.

Now Kulak, I'm sure your daughter would be more than willing to sacrifice her hamster to the Particularly Glorious and Pleasantly Carnivorous Battering Rahm (or is that Blathering Rahm? I can never remember). If he doesn't receive timely tributes of domesticated rodents, he'll be forced to roam the forest hunting chipmunks.

And he is a <i>lousy</i> chipmunk hunter. It's so sad watching him try to intimidate the little critters into jumping in his mouth. They're never properly awed by his presence.

Pasternak,
Having edited my earlier post Ive decided it is time to cram a hamster down the throat of this un-Holy Rahm.

Red Square wrote:In related news...

I guess it's possible that many homeless are space beings stranded here, unable to adapt to our alien society based on labor.

It is little known but dear Rahm is the spawn of Jabba the Hut. By parthenogenesis. He learned to eat little critters by picking them out of the collops of his father Jabba and swallowing them whole. He doesn't need to bite off the heads; it just makes sure that his teeth remain sharp.

Nine months after the UFO landed at Roswell the Holy Gore was born, to lead us into the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm) where all will be equal but he most of all, since he'll have his yacht and private jet and limousine and we'll be walking in muddy ruts wearing sandals made of old tires, if we're lucky enough to have them.

But I don't mind. Because the Holy Gore is the most equal of comrades since he's never told a single truth.

Commissar Theocritus,
It is entirely possible that Holy Rahm is an extremely equal Inner Party hermaphrodite; an animal which carries both male and female sex organs simultaneously.

Some animal groups (mostly invertebrates), do not have separate sexes. In these groups, hermaphroditism is a normal condition, enabling a form of sexual reproduction in which both partners can act as the "male" or "female". For example, the great majority of snails and slugs are hermaphrodites.

Since Jabba the Hut was a huge slug, it follows that his offspring, including Holy Rahm, are capable of f_ing themselves. We may need more information along these lines in regards to Holy Gore.

Clearly, Mr. Kookish is not a true socialist. The very idea that he has taken responsibility for his failures proves he is not a socialist or he has not truly absorbed all the lessons of socialism.
Comrade leader obama must do something to re-educate this misguided comrade before he slides all the way into captitalism and Americanism and has to be liquidated. We know that since Comrade Leader Obama has been catapulted into power he has done his best to erase captialism and the horrors of being an American. Kookish is raising the horrors of those days with his ridiculous ideas.
I did hear that the OSP (Obama-secret-police) is questioning Mr. Kookish. At least he is off the streets for now and not spreading individualism. We all know that Mr. Kookish is a failure because we have all failed him and the captitalist government we used to have did nothing to help him.
Under our new socialism...no one is allowed to fail. If they do...they will simply disappear and not spread their failure to everyone else.

Kulak, why should not the Holy Rahm be able to screw himself? He should enjoy the pleasures that he inflicts on everyone else. I take him as an exemplar. I get weak at the knees when I think of him sitting at dinner and calling out the names of enemies, and with every name, stabbing the table with a knife, yelling, "Dead! Dead!" [ true ]

sovietskayakaputnik, no people will not be allowed to fail. A made prog wants equality not of opportunity but equality of irresponsibility. The horrific Rethuglicans want freedom of action.

I on the other hand want freedom from responsibility. No matter what I do, it shouldn't catch up to me. All that I have to do is chant the Current Truth, attend Jiffi-Lobo to take care of that pesky cognitive dissonance, and then nothing will ever bother me for I'll be rocked in the bosom of the Nanny State, where no one can fail.

And when the state itself fails, I'll just blame it on the Americans, who made it fail.

Imagine , Comrades, if this sort of thing caught on. It would be serious trouble for the Party!

Of course, such talk is crazy talk.

Partitioned Pasternak wrote:Y'know, I may be a junior Party member--ergo a little less equal than others--but it seems to me that Komrade Kulak may have had undue exposure to a certain notorious thought criminal's magnum opus (and oh, the very word "magnum" disgusts me).

I humbly (very humbly, for I am as nothing unto The Party) submit that Kulak ought to be investigated, and if need be, re-reeducated.

Can I have his shovel afterwards?

Concern Noted comrade. What is wrong with the shovel you were issued?

Vilhelm, there are shovels and shovels. There is the shovel of shovels, which is Pinkie's. Now I don't have a shovel, for I've been breveted out of shovels. My burden is Bruno, and please don't think that I got lucky. You got a shovel. Wanna trade?

Pasternak, do not let the word "magnum" disgust you. Anyone may have a magnum of freshly squeezed beet juice on the anniversary of his induction into the Party.

Because it's all you're going to get.

Until you retire, when you get a jeroboam of freshly squeezed beet juice. And when you die and are given a Worker's funeral, your descendants, the ones that you haven't eaten, get a jeroboam of <i>fermented</i> beet juice.

It's something to look forward to.

Clearly Mr. Kookish has decided to take advantage of our Complete Circles of Life^TM program and wishes to become a Democrat Necroproxy. I will dispatch an SEIU stormtroopers around to collect him.

By all means do collect him. Anyone who is responsible is anathema to a Made Progressive. Consider Google: They're good Progs but if they think that they can get a dollar you better not get in the way. There are two sorts of money, you see, to a Prog. Our money, which is what we can get our hooks on, and other people's money, which we give away.

There are two sorts of Prog Property--ours, which we hang onto like grim death, and other people's property, which we give away, to show how good we are.

I received this in the email today. Those who have heard it before, shut up and don't spoil the punchline.

================
$50 For the Homeless

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be president some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were president what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed.

"Wow... what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where homeless guys hang out, and you can give them the $50, you earned, to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me....

Are <a href="https://www.jessicaswell.com/mt/archive ... nts">these the people</a>?

The little girl has not quite grasped progitude. It's inserting yourself into every transaction to make you feel bigger and better. Free-market transactions are wrong because they don't give us, the Mad Progs, enough latitude to be bossy.

The girl's parents are entirely right to disdain her thinking because it's entirely too self-affirming. <i>People should never be responsible for themselves</i>.

Because that cuts out the middleman and his chances for meddling.

"Local Man Claims Responsibility For Own Problems"

This is a disgrace to fascism! He should be sent to one of our re-education camp!