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Obama Lowers Sea Levels, But Sadly Discovers Atlantis

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Despite the predictions that Barack Obama would not act on his promise to lower the sea levels until he officially becomes President, the presumptive Democratic nominee went ahead and lowered the oceans last month in a hectic attempt to boost his own shrinking poll numbers. However, the resulting growth of landmass turned into a mixed blessing when it unexpectedly revealed the lost world of Atlantis with a history so shocking and controversial that Obama is now contemplating re-sinking the island by returning the seas to their previous levels.

What the artifacts of Atlantis have told the world, is a story of the demise of a once great nation whose citizens grew spoiled and apathetic as they forgot the reasons for their success and allowed a sense of entitlement and self-loathing to set in.

A Brief History

Image Tile mosaics of the founders. Top left: Rahgun the first elected ruler; top right: Aurum Aqua aka Mr. Atlantis; bottom left: Atlantian author and intellectual Buklee II; bottom right: warrior/philosopher El Rahshu.

Atlantis was a Republic founded on principles of individual rights, limited government, laissez-faire economics, and a strong military to defend these principles. This boosted the nation's creativity, entrepreneurial spirit, and technical innovations, allowing Atlantis quickly to become the greatest nation in the prehistory of the world. Even the Atlantian poor were the richest poor of all. While the outside world remained a dangerous and barbaric place, Atlantis dealt with threatening warlords swiftly and without mercy, ensuring long periods of peace and prosperity for its citizens.

However, as the quality of life continued to improve, new generations of Atlantians began to forget the misery, the tyranny, and the injustice that had caused their ancestors to overthrow their kings and build a shining city upon a hill, based on new and rather revolutionary principles.

While the neighboring despots continued to be the masters of their populations, the people of Atlantis were the masters of their government. As tyrants were feeding their subjects in exchange for their freedom, the elected rulers of Atlantis made sure the people had the freedom to feed themselves. That difference inevitably made the Atlantians happier and more successful than others.

The neighboring despots hated Atlantis for the light of freedom it shone to their enslaved populations. They spent plenty of treasure and effort trying to convince Atlantians that their system of government was as flawed and unjust as any other, and that Atlantis was in a desperate need of change.

Image A stone craved figurine of a Whiner protester. Some Atlantian women of the Whiner persuasion used to rally in the streets of Atlantis in the nude, opposing self-defence against foreign warlords and other traditionalist policies. Their movement was called "Boobs not Ballistas."

The lies eventually began to take root when Atlantians became complacent enough to elect politicians who promised a safety net, with free breads and circuses as an added bonus, in exchange for their freedoms.

This led to a rise of peddlers of victimology and self-loathing, who split Atlantians into groups, assigned collective grievances, and preached everyone's moral right as victims to live their entire lives at the expense of all others.

A political party, whose name can roughly be translated as "The Whiners," ascended to power by exploiting the natural inequalities among people and encouraging jealousy and divisiveness. The Whiners gained more power every time they described a local hardship as a global catastrophe. Even natural events such as thunderstorms and earthquakes could be avoided, they claimed, if only more people trusted the Whiners and traded their individual freedoms for the safety of a collective trough.

The Whiners established a new, relative moral code, according to which good and evil switched sides so often that Atlantians could no longer keep track of it and eventually stopped caring. Part of this code was a doctrine stating that "the truth is always in the middle." The middle between "not whining" and "excessive whining" is, of course, "moderate whining." And since moderate whining is technically still whining, all traditionalists who wanted to be thought of as moderates, turned into Whiners by default, hastening the destruction of traditionalism in Atlantis.

When things began to fall apart under their management, the Whiners blamed it on the traditional Atlantian system and called for a radical change.

The Rise of Beri Ubomo

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That was when a young charismatic, albeit inexperienced leader Beri Ubomo captured the peoples' imagination with a message of change and the unconditional faith in the power of the government to feed the multitudes. The MSM (main stream messengers) and institutions of learning. which were by then in the hands of the Whiners, helped Ubomo by amplifying his messianic whining while squelching the voices of the traditionalists.

Once in power, Beri fulfilled his promise of change and benevolently relieved Atlantians of the responsibility to feed themselves, establishing a free universal serfdom and proclaiming that Whining was now the law of the land.

Ubomo was known for making ignorant statements, misstating facts, and changing his positions on issues, later denying that he ever held the opposite view. Whenever a friend or family member had the audacity to displease him, he would throw them under the wheels of his chariot. A typical case involved his longtime shaman, who in a fit of public rage once shouted "May the Gods Damn Atlantis," which posed a threat to Ubomo's political career.

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This remarkably well-preserved painting depicts Ubomo throwing his grandmother under the chariot.

Final Days

Ubomo turned out to be the strongest, albeit unwitting ally of every warlord and despot of the world, who viewed his ascension to power as the fruition of their subversive work and propaganda.

Not only did he legitimize their bogus grievances and blamed Atlantis for the miserable conditions under which the foreign despots put their own enslaved populations. Ubomo also made Atlantians as miserable and enslaved as any other despot, leveling the playing field and extinguishing the light of freedom that used to keep the world's hopes alive.

Image Inscription on coin: Change You Can Believe In

The only hope left in the world now belonged to the power-hungry warlords who were hoping to invade their neighbors. Their main target was, of course, the weakened Atlantis that still lived off its fabulous riches.

Ubomo's policy of avoiding war at any cost and appeasing the enemies (whom he dared not call enemies) had a devastating effect on Atlantis and its people. The Whiners had frightened the people with imagined catastrophes so often in the past that when a real catastrophe came, Atlantians no longer cared. The Whiners had presented good as evil so many times that when the real evil showed at the gates, Atlantians couldn't tell the difference. The nation stopped functioning and chaos ensued.

Out of the chaos, a Rasputin-like figure named Goreium emerged. He convinced Ubomo and the Atlantians that the real reason for all their troubles was the very existence of Atlantis with its social complexity, developed technology, excessive industriousness, and immoderate creativity. It angered the gods, the despots, and the witch doctors of the world. It caused great strife and conflicts, engulfing the world in a bloody war where nobody was safe. The only way to save humanity from extinction, according to Goreium, was for Atlantis and all its inhabitants to sink to the bottom of the sea.

This is where all official records stopped and we may never know how exactly Atlantis ceased to exist.

The Controversy

Some modern critics are quick to suggest that history of Atlantis parallels the battle of conservatism vs progressivism and that the Ubomo regime should be a warning about a possible Obama presidency. But such parallels cannot be justified as there is absolutely no resemblance between the Whiners and the modern Democrat Party, nor has progressivism ever resulted in the opposite of what was intended.

On the contrary, nine out of ten political science professors and Democrat Party strategists believe that good intentions are a sure way to pave the road to a just and equitable society. You can't argue with a scientific consensus.

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Special reporting for the People's Cube by comrades Maksim and Red Square

Trotskybama-in-exile
Comrades:
The running lackey dogs are exposed at last! Purveyors of false history must be unmasked: That self reliance is a virtue, that Zionists occupied Palestine before Muslims did; that the earth's temperature was not always a constant 72 degrees before the rise of the USA. All falsehoods will be swept aside by the light of the Obamessiah!

SUMBICH
James Carville has just been granted the position of Official Disciplinarian of the Party. This post was last held by Beria under Uncle Joe Stalin. Carville is thrilled with the appointment although his wife has flown to Cuba on indefinite vacation. He has chosen a Phoenix .22 caliber automatic for the execution of his duties. Chairman of the Party, Howard Dean, has praised Obama for being a political genius, an economic genius, a military genius, and an agricultural genius. The last reference was somewhat controversial and bordered on political incorrectness. After several hours in a windowless room with Carville, Dean announced to the press that his remarks were solely about agricultural policy and not practice, and any thoughts about sharecropping or indentured servitude were not present in his mind then, now or in the future. One reporter asked him how he chipped a front tooth, the reporter did not report back to his office immediately and is on indefinite vacation in Cuba. Barack Obama lauded James Carville as a key asset to the Party and an unrelenting public servant.

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A wonderful tale to fill the minds of the Obama Youth; if nature TRULY abhors a vacuum, this uplifting narrative should be sucked right in!

One small quibble:

Propaganda Department wrote:On the contrary, nine out of ten political science professors and Democrat Party strategists believe that good intentions are a sure way to pave the road to a just and equitable society. You can't argue with a scientific consensus.

WHO is that tenth person???? The Party must have his/her/its name now for purposes of remedial discussion. Dissent IS allowed by Party, but must be APPROVED dissent only!

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A close-up of the Beri Ubomo statue reveals a missing penis, yet his nuts are intact. Jesse Jackson could not be reached for comment.
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Some modern critics are quick to suggest that history of Atlantis parallels the battle of conservatism vs progressivism and that the Ubomo regime should be a warning about a possible Obama presidency.
What a joke, this is the future, where everything has been tried, but not by the right people, like the Obamasiah.

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Commissar Maksim wrote:A close-up of the Beri Ubomo statue reveals a missing penis, yet his nuts are intact. Jesse Jackson could not be reached for comment.
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Maksim, Maksim! Haven't you heard of The Emperor's New Clothes? He also has a new penis. I can see it quite clearly (as can all true Hussies), and what a magnificent instrument of audacity it is!

Now put on your glasses and take another look, or I may have to start suspecting you voted for Bush twice.

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Ouch. That looks like it would hurt.

You guys seriously need a soundtrack for that article:

Donovan: Atlantis

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Gennifer Flowers wrote:Hillary has fat ankles and Bill has a small penis and they'll have to live with each other's imperfections."

And this was <i>before</i> Our Many Titted Empress used her Ginsu knife on Bill after a particularly nasty bimbo eruption.

This is all very funny! Finally something to lower my blood pressure in light of the enigmatic entrance of the One We've Been Dreading.

Houston
How dare the Russians make fun of our chosen one. ( Chosen for US). We the plebian swell. They can't put up a picture showing that our messiah has no clothes. Our national art soviet has not commisioned a work like this yet. All our national art soviet s have commisioned is that our saviour have a Linen like gotee, wearing a full suit, hand out streched, the over coat is draped over one arm. I did a search for statues in the former Soviet Union and google was really good at showing the flaws (my opinion in former enemies) of other countries. But I was suprised to find there is a Statue of Linen in Hyde Park. Its been there a long time. Its been a long time that I did the search but I also found there are a lot of statues of V. I. Linen in the United States. How dare they point out our hyprocy. As far as comparing B.H.O to Moses, well I don't like it. Moses rejected the teachers of his youth and walked into the desert for 40 years. He kept his mouth shut about it too. And as far as Moses, I mean Barry, raising the sea level, Moses and I don't mean Barry, just did what G-D told him, he lifted up the rod. G-D parted the water and raised the sea level. I don't see no rod in Barry's hand.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Commissar Maksim wrote:A close-up of the Beri Ubomo statue reveals a missing penis, yet his nuts are intact. Jesse Jackson could not be reached for comment.
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Maksim, Maksim! Haven't you heard of The Emperor's New Clothes? He also has a new penis. I can see it quite clearly (as can all true Hussies), and what a magnificent instrument of audacity it is!
That is preposterous! What else can one see in this picture if not a huge, magnificent instrument of audacity that is the Obama's New Penis? If you can't see it you must be a right-wing, ultra-conservative, knuckle-dragging, religious "Bush is demigod" 19 per center.

Well, can you see it now? You must agree it's not only huge and magnificent - it also reveals an enormous experience working for the Greater Good(TM) in such important areas as raising awareness, expanding the outreach, lifting the poor, and driving the progressive vote.

If that's what sent a tingle up Chris Matthews' leg I don't blame him. One doesn't need to be a woman to experience an Obamagasm.

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Uh, folks, I have some experience in this. And I'm not thrilled. I am not impressed.

The audacity would be showing it.

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Knowing her fate, Atlantis sent out ships to all corners of the Earth.
On board were the Twelve:
The poet, the physician, the farmer, the scientist,
The magician and the other so-called Gods of our legends.
Though Gods they were -
And as the elders of our time choose to remain blind
Let us rejoice and let us sing and dance and ring in the new
Hail Atlantis!

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This topic was blogged on American Thinker yesterday by Thomas Lifson, giving us a spike in traffic: https://tinyurl.com/AmericanThinker

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Is Obama the son of my beloved comrade and friend Idi Amin?

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Uh, folks, I have some experience in this. And I'm not thrilled. I am not impressed.

The audacity would be showing it.

Theocritus, you are the perfect example of what I mean: Regurgitating that tired old rhetoric about "experience."

Yawn all you want, you flat earther, head in the sand, "Bush is a demigod" 23 percenter, but if you could see the size of that penis, you wouldn't give a fig or even two nuts about any experience.

Obama's promised to unite the whole world. All of you Bush worshipers who've been digitally lobotomized by Fox News keep asking how he plans to do that. Well, if you could only see what I see, you'd know how.

With that mighty penis, his victory column, his organ of hope and tool of change, will he thrust himself upon the whole world, and thus we'll be blissfully united under him as he plants the seeds for another new world that awaits us all at the end of that splendid consummation. Just ask Al Gore.

And how interesting that with this topic, I notice a feature below that I've never seen before (must be new): Enter a long URL to make tiny!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:And how interesting that with this topic, I notice a feature below that I've never seen before (must be new): Enter a long URL to make tiny!

Yes, I added this feature this morning because I got tired of fixing long URLs that were stretching the display.

Please don't confuse it with the MSM writing template and news article generator that has several such boxes:

- Enter American success story to make tiny...
- Enter victory in Iraq to make tiny...
- Enter US economic growth to make tiny...
- Enter Republican record to make tiny...
- Enter American popularity abroad to make tiny...

...and the list goes on.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Maksim, Maksim! Haven't you heard of The Emperor's New Clothes? He also has a new penis. I can see it quite clearly (as can all true Hussies), and what a magnificent instrument of audacity it is!

Of course Our Glorious Leader has a new penis, or will have one in the near future. Immediately after her loss, Commissar Clinton was instructed in no uncertain terms by Party Central to unbuckle the Official People's Penis and relinquish it to Him by convention time.

With freshly solar (no carbon penis print) charged batteries.

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Esteemed Commissarka Pinkie, I do think that you have hit on the solution. The Obama creation myth.

Yeah though we walk through the valley and the shadow of debt,
His rod and his staff they comfort us
Surely penury and misery shall follow us
And we will dwell in the house of the nanny forever.

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Oh yes, Theocritus! The Obamessiah will create for us a whole new world that springs forth from his loins, and thereafter he will be the father of all living things!

I should return to my ledge to await further instructions. Like how will we get to this new world? Will he exhort us to build an ark? With what materials? And what should we bring with us?

To think I've been wishing the Religious Right's stupid rapture would suck them all up already, so they'd leave us alone! Instead, we'll be the ones to leave the neocons behind on this rotten planet they've destroyed. From Obama's New World, we can look down on them and laugh and party down while they die from the very Global Warming they so stupidly denied. I can hardly wait to see them finally get what they deserve. Nyeah, nyeah--where's THEIR Messiah now?

I feel so blessed and special to be part of this momentous moment! Ohh--ahhh--there goes my leg again.

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Speaking of being out on a ledge, this Atlantis artifact looks familiar. Pinkie, how old did you say you were?


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She does have the same dour facial expression, doesn't she? That is obviously one of the ancient Whiner women, perched on a ledge and threatening to jump for peace. Note the ornamental circles outside the ledge. They remind me of Obama O's.**

I do believe he's been here before, thousands of years ago, and now he's returned, in fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

**That gives me the idea for a brand new breakfast cereal for the masses: Crunchy, nutritious "Barry O's." Pour a little Hope and Change into your bowl!

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Red Square wrote:This topic was blogged on American Thinker yesterday by Thomas Lifson, giving us a spike in traffic: https://tinyurl.com/AmericanThinker

But he called the People's article "satire".

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Pinkie, the proper progressive breakfast must be had with Fair Trade coffee, too. Which is purchased from Starbucks. Never mind that they spend more for health insurance for healthy young baristas (love that name, gives me Che bumps all the time) than they do for actual coffee beans. We all know how forward thinking they are, for when we are ascended to power we shall stop social mobility just in case. In a half century we shall see geriatrics making macchiatos just as they have done for a half century with that wonderful sense of Soviet continuity of nothing ever changing.

But if we have Barry O's would it be sacrilegious to cut up a banana in them? I cannot decide if this would be an appropriate ritual of the Cult of Obama's Penis, or a desecration. Remember that St. Francis of Asisi is missing bits and parts that devotees took away.

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Of course Our Glorious Leader has a new penis, or will have one in the near future. Immediately after her loss, Commissar Clinton was instructed in no uncertain terms by Party Central to unbuckle the Official People's Penis and relinquish it to Him by convention time.

So, we have instituted a rationing plan for the Party Member now? That would explain certain things to me. Once again, I have gotten the short end of the stick, as it were.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:So, we have instituted a rationing plan for the Party Member now? That would explain certain things to me. Once again, I have gotten the short end of the stick, as it were.

Not at all. For example, would you rather have this avatar with the "Party Organ Donor" handle? I didn't think so.

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Comrade Betinov, I do understand your conundrum. And of course The Anointed One cannot be inferior to any other person or thing--in fact this weekend I am decommissioning the Hildo Hydra Turbo lest some invidious comparison be made and nothing can be permitted to cast doubt on the utter perfection of The Chosen One, while He leads us For His Name's Sake to the world of yada yada but I'm sure I'm Going to Like It A Lot.

So we must become the PPP, the Puny Penis Party. All party members will have to learn from drag queens how to tape and hide lest His Hugeness, Barack Johnny Hussein Holmes Obama be embarrassed.

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The Hussies would like to participate in that ritual, if only as independent observers.

As for slicing a banana over a bowl of Barry O's, I would suggest saving that for an annual ceremony similar to the Jewish Seder. Part of the ritual would require each participant to slice a banana over a bowl of Barry O's.

"Why do we slice the banana over the Barry O's, wise father?"

"We do it, Junior, in remembrance of that glorious night in the Year 01 A.D.O., when all male comrades shortened their lengths, that they dare not exceed the mighty length of the divine Obamessiah. We do it to remind ourselves that while we might be men, we can never measure up to the Obamessiah."

Yes, Theocritus, all bananas and cucumbers and weird holiday sausages must be sliced. Not even they can be longer than the fruit of Obamessiah's loins.

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<off>Pinkie, you made me hurt laughing</off>

Commissarka Pinkie, I think that we should also have a cabinet-level Department of Sex Toys which insures that no dildo is mightier than the member of the Obamessiah. This will be displeasing to the Right Reverend Algore, High Priest of the First Church of Climatology but no one said these internecine squabbles were pretty. And Al is <i>so</i> last year.

And he is the biggest prick that the Progressives have ever elevated to office.

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Not at all. For example, would you rather have this avatar with the "Party Organ Donor" handle? I didn't think so.

Hmmm. Point (as it were) taken.

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I think I just had an apostrophe--y'know, one of those thought thingies where you suddenly understand something and it makes everything all right?

Remember back during the primaries when the Forces-of-evil Omnipresent Xenophobes (FOX) News made such a big deal over the photo showing His Obamaness with his hands modestly folded during the Pledge? This troubled even my Progressive heart, as it seemed to have been a campaign faux pas sure to ignite indignation among the unwashed and reactionary rubes in fly-over country.

This thread has changed that evaluation and calmed that fear.

What was actually happening was a demonstration of His Obamaness's true love and devotion to both the country and the People. His love for the country is so intense that it sends a surge to his mighty loins. But out-of-photo (and I'm sure this was done on purpose by the Obama-haters in the media) what you DIDN'T see was the group of wounded veterans, small children, oppressed workers and cute baby animals clustered about the dias. To protect them from his natural passion for the flag behind him, he was physically restraining the mighty beast of his patriotism, fully willing to take the castigations and aspersions sure to be cast by the apostate Rethuglicans in order to save the lives of those who stood in adoration about him. Greater love hath no man....

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Ivan, I just noticed. Are you sure that donated brains should be small ones? After all, your brain is positively rattling around in your jar. Donated brains should be <i>big</i> brains lest their possessors give trouble.

Whereas little tiny brains can safely stay in the bodies of the proles, where they are needed for autonomic responses. And what little capacity that is left can be safely used up in Party Approved Programs (PAP) such as Greenpeace, Earth Day, Hug-an-Imam, and other avenues of good Kollectivist Fun.

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Ah yes, Betinov, ah yes. I see it now. This was the start of the Cult of Obama's Penis, and he was, in the modesty which becomes him, as it does Zeus, he was determined not to embarrass the onlookers.

And His Obamaness has even improved the morals of this mighty nation--the porn shops in San Francisco and Los Angeles have quietly packed their tents and gone home, unable to compete.

Even the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donkey_show">Donkey Show</a> in Juarez quit in embarrassment.

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Actually, Theo, the brain is all that's left after all the other organs have been donated. It was a pilot program of the HillaryCare Health System, that I must confess, seemed to be a good idea at the time but now seems to have been a bit premature on my part.

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Betinov, I did not for a second consider that was <i>your</i> brain; I thought it was the brain of a generous soul giving his all, and I do mean all, to the Party. Just as Meow is giving his all to the Party although it's always OPM.

And I am willing to give my all to the party too, which includes an 8' walking fruit stand which sings "Tico Tico" and stalks Bette Midler. I'm so going to give that all to the Party.

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Comrades, I have just finished a grueling 16 hour workout with my shovel for not having seen this absolutely wonderful historical piece earlier. I am undecided whether to grant the Propaganda Dept a Medal of Hillary (since they are as common as dirt now and worth as much), or to denounce him for revealing the troubling history of this Atlantis. I keep trying to find a flaw in his evidence, but so far it eludes me. But since it makes me feel uncomfortable, I will ignore it.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Actually, Theo, the brain is all that's left after all the other organs have been donated. It was a pilot program of the HillaryCare Health System, that I must confess, seemed to be a good idea at the time but now seems to have been a bit premature on my part.

Actually Comrade Betinov, your other organs are still together. We are still using your body, as imperfect as it is, to do the Party's work. It doesn't take a lot of computing power to keep the body moving, at least well enough.

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We are still using your body, as imperfect as it is, to do the Party's work.

I wonder what I've been up to lately?

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:...I am undecided whether to grant the Propaganda Dept a Medal of Hillary ... or to denounce him....
FYI, Propaganda Department is not a he or a she, but they: we often post under this handle whenever the story involved substantial collaboration between Red Square and one or more other comrades, or to hide the author's true identity.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrades, I have just finished a grueling 16 hour workout with my shovel for not having seen this absolutely wonderful historical piece earlier.
Its good you already punished yourself for your total incompetence, however I'm very concerned for the Cube's security. Good thing your not Marshal for FEMA or border patrol.

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Commissar Maksim wrote:
Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrades, I have just finished a grueling 16 hour workout with my shovel for not having seen this absolutely wonderful historical piece earlier.
Its good you already punished yourself for your total incompetence, however I'm very concerned for the Cube's security. Good thing your not Marshal for FEMA or border patrol.

Commissar Maksim, it is because of my devotion for the Party and therefore the Cube, that I was a bit behind coming here. As you should know, I have been at the forefront of trying to mass a defense of the House Floor and Nancy, against the underhanded and unpredictable revolt by those rethuglicans. While I find this thread to be of utmost interest, it does not present the threat to the Party that the subterfuge of the rethuglicans, and their allies, Commissarka Pinkie and the Comrade Cat.

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Glorious Red Square, me bad....but I still have all these Hillary medals on my paws and thought the Propaganda Dept deserves them. One can't hardly give them away these days it seems.

Comrade Brain in the Jar, the last time I saw your body it was mindlessly massaging the Many Titted Empress' bruised ego with raw child rib eyes. It did not appear abused. at least at that time.

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Betinov, you survived the Many Titted Empress Child Rib Eye ordeal?

For that you ought to be elevated or at least be given a free week at a resort on the Black Sea. Very few people have done that and lived. We are still missing a few comrades who are assumed to have disappeared into Our Many Titted Empress' collops.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:While I find this thread to be of utmost interest, it does not present the threat to the Party that the subterfuge of the rethuglicans, and their allies, Commissarka Pinkie and the Comrade Cat.

Slander! Lies! How can you say such a thing! Not only am I totally devoted to the party, but I am absolutely in thrall to the Obamessiah!

Pupovich, I have pictures of you peeing on his leg. You're supposed to feel a tingle up your leg--not make a tinkle on his! And while he might create for us a whole new world with his mighty penis, that does not mean YOU should be the one to bury his bone in any old hole in the ground.

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Pinkie wrote:YOU should be the one to bury his bone in any old hole in the ground.

No, the Obamessiah, when demoted to the Presidency, will leave that up to the interns.

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To be accurate, it was Comrade Betinov's body that earned acclaim if any is to be given for a brainless body guided only by minimal brain stem functions... in other words, our kind of voter.

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Betinov to be frank is showing more signs of self-awareness than I am comfortable with in one of our voters.

Do you suppose that we could lobotomize his brain? Since it's in a jar it won't be all that hard, you know: no bone saws needed, and a simple chef's boat motor would suffice.

Wouldn't Nansky be pleased? Finally someone that Harry Reid could look down on.

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Betinov, you survived the Many Titted Empress Child Rib Eye ordeal?

For that you ought to be elevated or at least be given a free week at a resort on the Black Sea.

To be accurate, it was Comrade Betinov's body that earned acclaim if any is to be given for a brainless body guided only by minimal brain stem functions... in other words, our kind of voter.

Betinov to be frank is showing more signs of self-awareness than I am comfortable with in one of our voters.

Do you suppose that we could lobotomize his brain?

Now just hold on a Synaptic Second here! All I've been doing is sitting here in my jar thinking happy thoughts about His Obamaness and dreaming of Hussies! That body and I parted company a LONG time ago. I can't be held responsible for anything it's been doing under the control of the Central Committee! Well, okay, I know that the Party can hold me responsible for anything it damn well pleases, but can't we blame this on Betty? Betty hasn't been posting much lately.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Ivan Betinov wrote:Actually, Theo, the brain is all that's left after all the other organs have been donated. It was a pilot program of the HillaryCare Health System, that I must confess, seemed to be a good idea at the time but now seems to have been a bit premature on my part.

Actually Comrade Betinov, your other organs are still together. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]We are still using your body, as imperfect as it is, to do the Party's work.[/HIGHLIGHT] It doesn't take a lot of computing power to keep the body moving, at least well enough.
In other words, his body is still "voting Democrat"...sort of like a Weekend at Bernie's , doing The Work of the People TM.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Betinov to be frank is showing more signs of self-awareness than I am comfortable with in one of our voters.

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Do you suppose that we could lobotomize his brain? Since it's in a jar it won't be all that hard, you know: no bone saws needed, and a simple chef's boat motor would suffice.[/HIGHLIGHT]

Wouldn't Nansky be pleased? Finally someone that Harry Reid could look down on.

No need to resort to Evinrude or Yamaha...Hamilton Beach and Cuisinart make appliances that would contain the "operation" in more sterile confines (I'm sure that hottie Cuisinart that the Chairman's been dating will suffice)... we must commandeer he/she/it for the lobotomy.

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You mean that Meow has finally gotten over the toaster Helen? After she moved out, to, er, sleep with the fishes? I'm rather pissed off at Meow. He promised me he'd lay off the household appliances. The last time he was over here I had to completely re-equip the kitchen, which was difficult because Our Many Titted Empress insisted on a mousseline of white Republican virgin, dusted with paper-shell pecans and served over brioche.

I had to use Bruno's fingernail scissors to make the mousseline and that was after chipping off the Sherwin-Williams fingernail paint.

I confronted Meow with his suitcase packed full of my kitchen appliances and he tearfully confessed that he had a problem with kitchen appliances: he just couldn't stop. And did the tears continue.

Oh hell, all right, Bruno. I'll tell them. Meow didn't give a shit about getting caught with his hand in the till--there isn't a blind man's cup with pencils still in it in Texas after Meow. Meow <i>did</i>, however, get a touch emotional when he got home and found that those lovely Hummels were missing.

You'd be astonished at what Bruno can pack in those fake boobs.

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Would you two leave Comrade Betinov's brain alone? His body is controlled only by a small piece of brain stem and a microchip of the power found in a greeting card. This is of course more than sufficient to be one of our democrat voters and to serve the Party in more practical ways. As for the Brain in the Jar, may I remind you that it was Comrade Betinov and I that created the science of PeoplesMath™? Comrade Brain in the Jar has given it all for the service of the Party.

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Yes, I know, but Comrade Brain in a Jar is in my view the new Democratic voter. After we Cuisinart his brain we will divide it up into tiny Petrie dishes and register each one of them to vote.

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There's nothing else for it. I must make public something I had tried to keep private so as to spare the Party any embarassment. I have filed for divorce from my body. It was not an easy decision to make.

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Let us know how it works out for if you are successful, Our Many Titted Empress will be able to divorce her ginormous ass.

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Surely Comrade Betinov. you are not divorcing your body merely for it's being used to assuage the Empress in her time of need, even if that is quite disgusting and something I would be loathe to do.

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Pupovich, I realize that we are talking about Betinov as though he is not there. Which since he filed for divorce from his body he may well not be.

Would the court of competent jurisdiction be divorce court or a Democratic caucus?

And after there would be the mother of all coming-out parties.

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Surely Comrade Betinov. you are not divorcing your body merely for it's being used to assuage the Empress in her time of need, even if that is quite disgusting and something I would be loathe to do.

I am divorcing my body simply because it has become the focus of the Conspicuous Compassion of Comrade Theocritus in order to make it an even better servant of the state. As it stands with joint custody, I could theoretically lay claim to the body or protest its use in certain services. If it becomes fully ward of the state it can remian totally devoted to the needs of the Party.

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I see, Comrade Betinov, that you are taking Liberation Theology to a new level and kicking it up a notch to be Fashion Forward. And do not be worried about my Conspicuous Compassion:
Image I always watch. Out of brotherly love.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
Surely Comrade Betinov. you are not divorcing your body merely for it's being used to assuage the Empress in her time of need, even if that is quite disgusting and something I would be loathe to do.

I am divorcing my body simply because it has become the focus of the Conspicuous Compassion of Comrade Theocritus in order to make it an even better servant of the state. As it stands with joint custody, I could theoretically lay claim to the body or protest its use in certain services. If it becomes fully ward of the state it can remian totally devoted to the needs of the Party.
What about my need for a sex slave,comrade. Will the state loan me your body?I think not. I'm all for satisfying the needs of the Party....but I think joint custody would be best. That way,if I ever find myself in dire need of a sex slave,you will be able to consent to being my toy partner.

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If only all comrades here could show the devotion, and neurons, that Comrade Betinov does.

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That, matched with the unabashed need of Hussies n Thingies...

HnT, would you consider being a, er, hostess at a Party approved enclave used as a reward for especially valiant proles who have done yeoman work in denouncing The Bushitler? Perhaps a large hotel, at least five-beet, in Odessa, and I don't mean the one in Texas. You could preside over a bevy of communist beauties.

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Now what Aspirationist would not give his all for that?

And you would be in charge of security too.

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Speaking of Bush, just a while ago I saw a sight that just broke my heart. A common working prole, unable to afford proper cigarettes, counting her last kopecs to buy rolling papers! Forced to humiliate herself in public to feed the greed of Bush and Big Tobacco! I of course offered to buy her some regular tobacco, but being the proud peasant worker that she was, she only smiled and moved on. Oh how I hate Bush and Big Tobacco!

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I light of what H-n-T had to say, I've decided to settle for a trial separation and weekend visiting rights with my body. Perhaps I can yet get in touch with my inner self again, or more importantly, the inner selves of others.

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Brain in a Jar wrote: inner selves of others.
Be careful. That's impinging on Meow's territory. When he's not molesting household appliances. You'd think he'd have learned though from that episode when the Cuisinart when he was drunk.

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Even worse, this sounds like a slackening of Comrade Betinov's commitment of donating his brain to the Party. It seems he is having second thoughts for the sake of pure carnal pleasure.

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Great Stalin's Ghost! Who left this unchanged history lying around? Where is the Propoganda Dept?


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Hell, this is getting complicated. I got in touch with my inner child and discovered that he's a vicious little bastard. I also got in touch with my feminine side and am now the subject of a restraining order that requires me to remain 500 yards away from myself at all times.

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Ah, Comrade Betinov. I got in touch with my feminine side and found a screaming queen, which I threw down the well. After all that position in Rancho de Rio Grande is filled by Bruno. And I don't look good in fruit-stand drag. As a matter of fact neither does Bruno. As a matter of fact I'm thinking of taking pictures of Bruno in fruit-stand drag to punish people who are insufficiently progressive and pulling for all they're worth for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, which will come, as always, COD.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:Even worse, this sounds like a slackening of Comrade Betinov's commitment of donating his brain to the Party. It seems he is having second thoughts for the sake of pure carnal pleasure.
You're always the voice of buzz-kill reason here,comrade. We're irritated lucky to have you always directing us back to the important things in life. Namely,the glorious Party. Thank you,comrade.

Party, Party! Bring on the drinks :) Have a lovely weekend,SexyBrain....and everyone else.

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Comrade Hussie, I appreciate your thoughtful comments in the spirit that you made them with ThoughtCrime™ . Of course, as should be said abourt all here, the Party and it's needs should always take precident.

Oh, and in the words of that great Nego spiritual....

Friday at Last! Friday at Last!
Thank Lenin, it's Friday at Last!

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I denounce you for taking Friday off. For if you take the weekend off, there is only one working day until Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

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I feel like a little denouncing as well....

I denounce Premier Betty! His mysterious absence appears to be an effort to force me, force me mind you, to break his hold on the record for most posts! Much to my disgust, I have now came to within 18 from his record! This is clearly an affront to all that I hold true.

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<off>I do wonder about him; this is unusual.</off>

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Most unusual indeed. I wonder if the Sweedish authorities have caught on to him?

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Fortunately, Comrade Elliot seems to be taking up Betty's slack.

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Sadly, that is not the case Comrade Brain. It is to my everlasting shame, yet with a hint of pride, that with this post, I now have tied Premier Betty as the most posts here. This is not an honor that I have striven for, rather forced into. My next post will put me at the top.

I DENOUNCE Premier Betty!

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Thanks to the godless numbers of the People's Math, I find that I too am tied with all other comrades, including your canine self, for the greatest number of posts!

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I was just considering this the other night, PeoplesMath makes us all equal!! Thank Lenin!


 
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