| The Book of Invesco |
5And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain and stepped into the floodlights where they had built for Him a temple, and His disciples gathered around Him. Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:
14"Blessed are you when Republicans revile and persecute you falsely for My sake. 15Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for people love me, so when you follow me, the world will love you, also. 20"And I say to you that whoever goes to war or tortures another without a progressive cause, shall be in danger of the judgment by the rest of the world. And whoever says to another the word 'unilaterally' shall be in danger of the judgment by the UN council. 21Therefore if you bring international aid to the altar of appeasement, and there remember that those nations' rulers are against you, 22leave your aid there and go away. 23Agree with your adversary quickly, without preconditions, lest your adversary accuses you of crimes against everything and deliver you to the judges of The Hague.
35For if you love those who love you not, you get to wail and lament. Did not the Screen Actors Guild do so? 36And if you snivel loudly enough, you will be rewarded. Was not the Screen Actors Guild rewarded so? 37Therefore you shall be perfect, just as The Obamessiah is perfect.
41"Enter by the narrow gate of Obamunism; for wide is the gate and broad is the way of Capitalism that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 42Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to Obamunism, and there are few who find it. 43For if you take from each according to his ability, The Obamessiah shall give to each according to his needs.
Additional reporting by Commissar Maksim, Laika the Space Dog, Red Square, and others. |

Laika the Space Dog
Sorry Muzhelozhstvo, it only comes in the Martin Luther King James Brown Version.Commissarka Pinkie
...Now don't you feel blessed by the Lord Obama? I do! Oh, Praise the Obamessiah, O Glory Hallobama! I believe!Commissarka Pinkie

Commissarka Pinkie
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Barack,Dennis M Mccullough
Impeach! Evict!A Hillary supporter
A conservative website indeed, but this is funny as funny gets!A Hillary supporter
A conservative website indeed, but this is funny as funny gets!General Mousey-Tongue
Welcome to the Collective, PUMAs! We have a big tent that welcomes all species!My Name Is Top Secret
This speech is the very passage that moved my to accept the Obamessiah as my personal savior.Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
My Name Is Top Secret
This speech is the very passage that moved my to accept the Obamessiah as my personal savior.General Mousey-Tongue
For me, it was when he described the ephiphany voters would have, with a light shining down upon him, telling them they need to cast their vote for Obama and be free...Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
General Mousey-Tongue
For me, it was when he described the ephiphany voters would have, with a light shining down upon him, telling them they need to cast their vote for Obama and be free...Mole
When he picked Biden, who voted agaisnt the Alaska Pipeline in the Senate in 1973, I realized that he picked the man who tried to stand in the way of getting 25% of US oil production to market. Imagine how much less dependent on foreign oil we will be with these geniuses. It bOggles the mind, nO?
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Platform #6, Comrade... Trotsky? Hmm... Platform #4 may be more appropriate. Yes, there will be no need for you to bring warm clothing or a shovel where you're going.Commissarka Pinkie
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Barack,Quote:
This was an amazing speech!
Ivan Betinov
Have you been watching the Repuglican Convention?!!! They're chanting "USA, USA, USA!" Ugh! Spit! Why can't they chant "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BAMA" like REAL Americans?!I know, it's nauseating to listen to them chanting like that, praise Barack, why can they not also chant things like "Hope and Change, Hope and Change. . ." or "Commie States! Commie States"?
General Mousey-Tongue
My efforts to infiltrate the evil 'Straight Talk Express' came to an unhappy end:

Red Square
Very touching, Pinkie. This monologue truly deserves a place of its own. BTW, was it you whose picture I snapped in Denver this August during the DNC protests? The moment I saw this inspired, selfless, and dedicated woman I wanted to ask her if she ever posted on the People's Cube as Pinkie - but she must have been very shy and vanished in a blink of an eye. This picture is the only proof left that she was not a figment of my imagination affected by sun, dehydration, high altitude, and certain smoke coming out of the crowd.
Private Pravda
General Mousey-Tongue
My efforts to infiltrate the evil 'Straight Talk Express' came to an unhappy end:

Private Pravda
Red Square
Very touching, Pinkie. This monologue truly deserves a place of its own. BTW, was it you whose picture I snapped in Denver this August during the DNC protests? The moment I saw this inspired, selfless, and dedicated woman I wanted to ask her if she ever posted on the People's Cube as Pinkie - but she must have been very shy and vanished in a blink of an eye. This picture is the only proof left that she was not a figment of my imagination affected by sun, dehydration, high altitude, and certain smoke coming out of the crowd.
Can't you see comrades that this is a peasant who has strayed from her assigned collective and is taking an unauthorized day of rest. If it were possible I would denouce her to the Party as a traitor to the glorious revolution. Alas, being the fool that I am I have no such authority and risk denouncing myself in the process. Another twenty years of buliding railroads in Siberia would be too much for such an old and feeble man. I depend upon you, my comrades, to do what is right and see to it that this betrayer of our great leader is dealt with harshly, for the sake of The Greater Good™, and toward our ultimate goal of a glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday.| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
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