Comrades, our beloved First Lady's 50th birthday is today, or tomorrow, or some time this weekend. But whenever it is, we can make every day her birthday by doing the exact same stuff she does!

I present for your consideration the following link from ABC News.


Yes, they include a list of 50 things you can do to get in touch with your inner Moochelle, from traveling the world on Air Force One to working out "yours arms."

50 Ways to Celebrate Michelle Obama's Birthday

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 today, and although the big White House celebration planned by President Obama isn't until Saturday, that doesn't mean you have to wait to celebrate.

If your invite to Saturday's dance party in Washington went missing, here are 50 other ways to honor the first lady on her big day — by doing some of her favorite things, from wearing stylish dresses to eating your veggies to doing the Dougie, preferably with Jimmy Fallon.

But we needn't limit ourselves to 50. How many other ways can we honor the greatest First Lady to ever grace humanity by pretending to do what she does? I'll even get things started:

1. Shop at Target and don't worry about hackers stealing your credit info. After all, it's not as if you're spending your own hard-earned money.

2. When escaping the bubble to go incognito among the masses, never dress to blend in. Always wear the most outrageous get-up that will make you stand out like a big red zit on prom night. And always warn media outlets in advance of what you're doing so they'll respect your privacy by staying away.

3. Go sleeveless, even when most of the country is freezing, because you can jack up your thermostat as high as you want. Or just stay in Hawaii a few extra weeks.

4. Tell other people to eat their vegetables.

5. Have your staff plant a garden, then make them tend it. Never do it yourself unless the cameras are rolling.

6. Wear $450 shoes with sparkly pink toe caps while appearing for a photo-op at a homeless shelter.

7. Travel to military installations where you'll tie up traffic and shut down most facilities to make speeches about how you really care about military families.

8. Empathize with the military wife whose husband is deployed to a war zone by talking about how tough you had it in your Chicago mansion with all those people to do things for you while your husband was in Springfield or Washington and only came home every weekend.

9. For the first time in your life, be proud of your country because they finally nominated a candidate based on his skin color instead of his qualifications.

10. Tell someone else to give up their own piece of pie.

11. Sit between your husband and the Danish prime minister to stop them from flirting with each other.

12. Go on all those silly women's talk shows to gab about all the things you dream of doing after you go back to being a private citizen in 2017—none of which seem any different from what you're doing now.

13. Whine about what a huge sacrifice it is to be the most privileged woman in America.

14. Just keep on dancing…and partying...and shopping…and spending…and living it up on other people's money!

Fifty lobsters served in fifty different ways!

Call up Oprah and ask "Who's the queen NOW, Baby?!"

Get together with a few hundred of your closest friends (or sycophants, if can't really call them friends) and hold a modest celebration of your birthday in the ballroom of a thousand-year-old palace in Andalusia; write off the expenses as official state business.

Rent Aspen for the weekend.

I'm giving one of my arms a "workout" right now. Does that count?

15. Allow your husband to fly off to South Africa to pick up some Danish for the party.

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A Kenyan tradition - a big bowl of horny horned squirrel and spicy noodles!
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My way to celebrate Great Liberator Family Vacationer-in-Chief Eternal Overseer of the Future Worker's Rations Moochelle's day of initial resonance is to forfeit my bourgeois pizza dinner for the common good. I was of course inspired by the tear inducing story of such a family committing that sacrifice during the re-election rejuvenation of our Dear Leadyer's term.

Have "the talk", you know, the one about signing up for Obamacare, with your healthy 20 - 30 year old acquaintances who are lagging behind in their collective responsibility in redistributing their wealth. To further enhance the discussion, watch this exciting Obamacare video featuring Richard Simmons. Ignore the comments. They were obviously planted by the Koch brothers and their minions. Michelle will thank you.

Let's celebrate by posting pictures of the highlights of Michelle's stellar career.

This is one of my favorites:

A variation of Betinov's earlier idea:

[img]/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
#37 - Take syrup of ipecac with Organic™ beet vodka shots

#62, #75, #84, and #113 - Eat, eat, eat, and EAT!!!!

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On Michelle Obama's birthday, being the good father that he is, Captain Craptek will play several games of hide-and-go-seek with one of his 823 youngsters.
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Comrade Putout,

I am in no way responsible for fathering young beavers! Period! Also...I realize it's Saturday night - and I know how you get on Saturday nights - but furthering this discussion can only lead to one place: Gulag 101...and I've got squirrels to produce for the spring opening! Someone has to tend the beets!

She really is such a warm and pleasant woman.

Comrade Putout wrote:,
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On Michelle Obama's birthday, being the good father that he is, Captain Craptek will play several games of hide-and-go-seek with one of his 823 youngsters.
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hide-and-go-seek.gif

Soul patch?

Since I am a big fan of Michelle's drink more water initiative, thus politely invite Comrade Asaf Mohammad to The White House and have him explain what he was doing 01/17/14 at 1 a.m in the Manalapan, New Jersey water treatment plant pipe, stuck, naked, with no explanation from him why he was there. Once we find out he was there as a birthday surprise to help detoxify the reservoir for the children ™ , Barack can award him a medal of freedom for helping citizens better understand Michelle's drink more water campaign. What a wonderful celebration this would have been.


According to water officials, “There is no reason for anyone whatsoever to climb into that pipe,” said Rich Henning, a spokesman for United Water. “It is a facility that pumps water, pumps it out of the ground to be used by residents for pure clean refreshing tap water. In 25 years in this business, I have never seen this happen.”


It's obvious Henning is a dummy. What other possible explanation could there be for this hero, this selfless patriot, to be in that water supply?

The Looking Spoon:

It's a good thing liberals think gender is an artificial construct, then this shouldn't offend them...

Oh dear...that's harsh!

Captain Craptek wrote:Oh dear...that's harsh!

Well then, try it in the ol' water-pipe instead and use some cheap wine instead of water. That usually helps a bit.

Dear Pinkie,

I am stealing this post from your former one, "Trashin' the First Lady's Fashion" where I posted this, along with Comrade Red's addendum:

I do hope it all posts well. Here it is:

Based on this "stamp" of approval, it would seem that our dear FLOTUS suffers from a condition known as Prognathism (underbite, undershot jaw).

Treatment for an underbite is reserved for those cases where [highlight=#ffffff]the[/highlight] malocclusion is so severe that it affects [highlight=#ffffff]the[/highlight] inflictee's ability to eat or chew or close its mouth.

As an inherited condition, there is little that can be done except for careful breed selection.

Thank you for bringing this to [highlight=#ffffff]the[/highlight] fore! We must show our deep compassion for dear FLOTUS by simply ignoring this.

Yours, in Stalin.
- See more at: https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... VzBCj.dpuf


Red Square
3/22/2013, 1:18 pm
Pamalinsky - you've just made a great discovery, connecting progs, such as Michelle, to Prognathism.

WE PUT THE 'PROG' IN PROGNATHISM!

I love these Q&A. This sounds almost like a page from Marxists.org

• What is Prognathism?
  
• How does my dog get Prognathism?
  
• How do I know if my dog has Prognathism?
  
• What can I do about Prognathism?
  
• Is there anything I can do to prevent getting Prognathism?
  
• Are there certain breeds that get Prognathism?

Poor progs. [highlight=#ffffff]The[/highlight] self-righteous expression on their faces comes with a price.

- See more at: https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... VzBCj.dpuf