Comrades:

I have a special transmission from the Madam Speaker (who is currently at an undisclosed location) which I am being forced to share with you. Please keep in mind that the Madam Speaker is a little stressed right now and that it would be best if we all gave her thanks for all the hard work she is doing on behalf of the Party. Just a suggestion, you don't have to if you don't want to.

-- Chairman M. S. Punchenko

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BEGIN COMMUNIQUÉ
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fellow Comrades, distinguished idiots and defenders of my Children's Congress™:

I come to you this evening to report the progress my Children's Congress™ has made on behalf of destroying America. Please be assured that all current polling numbers concerning the “low approval rating” of my Children's Congress™ are false, inaccurate and a complete fabrication done by the Bush Administration.

As your Speaker – who you bow to, adore and worship – I have accomplished the following:

1 – I have NOT cut funding to the warmongers yet (who I support!).

2 – I have NOT made gas prices cheaper.

3 – I have NOT yet raised taxes (but will when Hill takes over! XOXOXO).

4 – I have NOT delivered broadband internet connections to every American household (or hovel, refrigerator box and, of course, ditch).

5 – I have NOT made my Children's Congress™ the most open, ethical and honest Congress in history.

6 – I have NOT given the Children™ – from ages 1 through 65 – cheap, affordable socialized healthcare.

7 – I have NOT made Imperial America energy independent. And if I said I did it is obvious that I was clearly hopped up on Botox – like I am now.

8 – I have NOT been honest and forthright, although I did give it some consideration once while sitting on the can.

9 – I DID have a congratulatory slumber party with Hill and Janet last night.

My fellow Grandchildren, it is clear that my Children's Congress™ is doing everything it can (and so long as it's in my schedule) to bring Socialism to the masses.

Sure, we had problems – in particular the Republicans – but my resolve is strong and I as your Speaker shall prevail. I have faith that things will turn around someday.

So, with that out of the way, allow me to outline my strategy for winning in 2008:

ATTACK RUSH LIMBAUGH! ATTACK EVERYONE! WE ARE SINKING HERE IN WASHINGTON! YOU HEAR ME! WE ARE SINKING, YOU BASTARDS! HELP US! HELP US, MY CHILDREN! YOU ROTTING LITTLE TURDS ARE LETTING US DOWN! I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE MY PALATIAL TOWNHOUSE WITHOUT SOMEONE HARRASSING ME! ATTACK THE RIGHT! ATTACK THEM DAMMIT AND DISTRACT THE AMERICAN DOLTS LONG ENOUGH UNTIL HILL BECOMES QUEEN!

Do you see what we can accomplish when we work together as a Party? Now allow me – without sounding too alarmist – to remind you of what will be lost if you don't help us retain control of the Children's Congress™ with your support and a generous contribution:

MY DAMN JOB IS ON THE LINE, YOU IDIOTS! YOU BETTER GET ON THE KOS AND POST SOMETHING NICE ABOUT ME, DAMMIT! YOU HEAR ME! POST SOMETHING NICE! WE ARE LOSING! LOSING! HARRY AND I ARE UP TO OUR NECKS IN CODE-PINK IDIOTS! THE REVOLUTION IS EATING ITS OWN AND I'M THE ENTRÉE! DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! TAKE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR OUT OF CONTEXT AND SAVE US HERE IN WASHINGTON! I CAN'T GO BACK TO TURNING TRICKS IN BALTIMORE! YOU HEAR ME! I'M NOT WHORING FOR A MAYORSHIP! BASTARDS! YOU BASTARDS! NOW DO SOMETHING! STOP READING THIS AND DO SOMETHING! GIVE MEDIA MATTERS A QUOTE OR SOMETHING! ANYTHING! ANYTHING! JUST DO IT!

Thank you for your time, fellow Democrats. Together we can win and secure a softer, gentler form of freedom that we affectionately call Stalinism. Thank you and someone other than me bless America. Anybody will do.


The Children's Madam Speaker
Nancy Pelosivich

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
END COMMUNIQUÉ
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She seems to be losing it....

Dear Comrade Pelosi
in your eyes see the
Socialist stare
Peering into Syria
taking The People's work there
Unite with The Brothers
with Islam we will take power
takeout Bush and Cheney
Party Leader Abu Pelosi
It's your time
our shining hour

Uh, Premier Betty, One has to have something to lose it again.......... I believe that point is questionable now. LET THE PURGES BEGIN!!

I think it's already happened....


http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=927

Premier Betty wrote:I think it's already happened....http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=927

Premier... Praise Lenin that I took the time, the effort, to skim over this "alleged purge" of Nancy. Apparently you failed to read through to the end for if you had, you would have seen that the Many Titted Empress and Nancy were, well, shall we say it was getting a bit steamy. Now as you know, I am not the sort to go about calling for a comrade to be DENOUNCED, but if I were, I would DENOUNCE YOU for failure to keep up with the correct history *Pup looking about nervously*

Chairman, let me with all sincerity ask that you pass on my well wishes for dear Nancy. I understand the incredible strain she is under and I know she is doing a fantastic job for our revolution. It is comrades like Nancy that serve to cause our Empress Hillary to shine even brighter. And if you don't mind Chairman, let me add that you are doing a wonderful work (and I mean that in the best possible manner) in keeping our Nancy safe, sane, and sound. Please do not hold this failure of the Premier against him.... too tightly....yes, I would say that is tight enough... yes, most secure.

Yes, but was a real verdict ever reached? It seemed to just end with them getting hot and horny over each other. No ever said that she was un-purged or anything.

<shaking empty glass> Theocritus… THEOCRITUS! MY GLASS IS EMPTY AND I NEED SOME MORE JUICE! JUICE, NOW! For Gah sakes! I've been sitting here in a wet diaper for over an hour, my glass is empty and your fairy is dressing up in my clothes again! UGH! I know you hear me, Theocritus! Don't sit there and think you can ignore me! THEOCRITUS!! THEOCRITUS!! I SHAT MY PANTS AGAIN!

Dammit… it's running down my legs and… Oh! What's this!? <opens letter> Oh, I'm needed back in Washington this week. Hmmm, I don't know if that is such a good idea with my communiqué being out there for public consumption. I mean, I don't want anyone getting the idea that I'm actually going to be <giggles> an effective Speaker! <burst out laughing> Ugh, I needed that. Hmm. Yes. Theocritus! Bruno! Get my bags packed! I'm leaving tonight for Washington! You heard me! Vacation time is over and it is time that we all buckle down for Hillary! She got the nomination if you haven't heard. Oh, and someone send a line to Meow and tell him that I'm staying with him for the next six weeks. Halloween is coming up and I haven't tormented him yet. NOW WHERE IS MY DAMN JUICE!? JUICE! NANNERS WANTS JUICE!

I almost forgot… Theocritus, I need you to get the camera and take some photos of me, Whoopi, and Sally Jesse Raphael. We are having a little bon voyage party for me tonight in your room…. Yes, you are invited. NOW GET ME THAT JUICE AND GET THE CAMERA READY! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! <whipping peons>

Betty – I'LL SHOW YOU LOSING IT! How would you like to be on the losing end on a San-Franny street trolley, bub! I can do it… just ask my hubby <smacks husband> SHUT UP! Betty, I better see you on my return to Washington in my office with gloves. Oh yes, you know what that means!

Pupovich – You don't pass your wishes around. You look for me, drop to your knees when you see me, and start chomping dirt as you grovel and crawl for MY forgiveness! I'm putting you on probation and if you screw up again I WILL GIVE YOU THE UNIQUE HONOR OF CHANGING MY DEPENDS! You have been warned.

Nancy, I can't tell you how disappointed I am to see you leave the south without having a chance to come and grace my dacha with your presence. But of course, you are needed badly in Washington.... yes, needed badly, so don't let me even delay you for a moment. I am sure the Chairman is as excited to be your host as I am disappointed to have missed out on that opportunity.

As for that minor chore you mentioned, I must note that for the past 14 years I have been serving the most profound democrat thinkers in this country. Yes, they have been imprisoned by the imperialists and their reputation smeared by calling them mentally retarded and developmentally disabled. Be that as it may, we have a large trained staff that are well trained for that particular duty you mentioned.

But I would be remiss in my duties if I did not mention this. While there are few people indeed in this country that I think of and respect on the same plane (you will be taking a plane north right?) as you, my first loyalty is of course to Her Highness Hillary. So of course if she were to ask, demand, insist that I do whatever is required to make you feel better, in any way I am able, then of course I would in a heartbeat. Of course you do understand that my medical crisis last year did leave me quite "damaged" and I am even more "aesthetically challenged" than ever. But I would indeed be willing to drop to my knees and do whatever abasement needed that would please you. I have been a bad dog... yes, I have been very bad!

Your dedicated and humble servant,
Commissar Pupovich

Hail Hillary!

Betty, I better see you on my return to Washington in my office with gloves. Oh yes, you know what that means!

<Darth Vader voice on>

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

</Darth Vader voice on>

Not again! I'm going to have to go into hiding for the third time this month, and last time, the wolves didn't like me sleeping in their cave. I've still got the rabies to prove it.