Dear Comrades,

The Directorate for Telephone Service Billing Fraud of the Department of Social Justice has issued a clarification statement in light of recent news the DOSJ has seized several months of phone records from the Associated Press without a warrant.

In its statement, the Directorate informed the AP that it was concerned that they might have been overbilled by the greedy Capitalists running the telephone company with which the AP has a contract, and that it was conducting a secret operation in the hopes of catching the corporation in criminal overbilling or rate gauging.

The phone records had nothing to do with any stories the AP might be working on involving the USSA government, since the AP is known to be a loyal member of the American Media Collective.

Furthermore, Party officials contacted the AP to express their gratitude for the AP's participation in this undercover investigation, and several AP reporters will be granted special access to the White Fortress for interviews with Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama.

Several cases of beet vodka and a fish wrapped in a newspaper were also delivered to AP headquarters compliments of the Party.

Let us thank the Department of Social Justice for defending the Mainstream Media from Telephone Rate-gauging! Down with greedy Capitalist Telephone Syndicates!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

I am believing that The Associated Press got on the wrong side of dear Comrade Hillary. They must therefore and thereof, receive payback for exposing Bill and Monica, and Bill and . . . . . well, the list is long, is it not.

Not to mention Hillary and the Janet Reno little tryst!!! (ough cough)

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think you should take this one ... It's that darn Senate again...."