Dear Comrades:

As you may or may not be aware, the evening before Dear Leader takes over the airwaves, a big quarter mile asteroid will pass by the earth around 201,000 miles from the planet. Comrades, so many things come to mind here... First and foremost, naturally, this is all the BushHitler's fault. I can't specifically say why, but like a good prog, I'm just going to kneejerk blame him. Oh wait, since it's named 2005 YU55 that means it was discovered in 2005. The BushHitler was president then and probably put it there just to scare us. He knew Dear Leader was going to be in charge at this time so he wanted to be mean.

Now that we have gotten that kneejerk nonsense out of the way, I would like to call for an Occupy protest of the asteroid. #Occupy2005-YU55. Since diversity is a misused mindless leftist tactic vital, we need a few of the best thugs, losers, and criminals from each Occupy hippy tent city to participate in occupying the asteroid. It might cost a few million to send them up, but it's worth it. Just tax the rich since, as we know, they have a never ending supply of money. Oh and of course they take it from the poor by actually expecting them to pay for food and such.

But more importantly, Comrades, I believe we need to pay attention to Comrade Rahm Emanuel. Comrade Emanuel said that no crisis should go to waste. So, while NASA says this will not hit the earth or the moon, we need to have an asteroid tax. We can tell the ignorant sheep people that the asteroid is coming this close because of global warming/climate change caused by man. We can say the earth is pulling these things towards it, or that aliens are sending them our way because of global warming, or whatever these people will accept. Maybe Dear Leader should hold some focus groups to find out how to sell an asteroid tax. What will play on the sheeple's people's sympathies to get them to pay more? In any event, charging people an asteroid tax will allow Dear Leader more money to spend on important things like more expensive dinners, more exotic vacations for Mrs. Dear Leader and Czarina of French Fries, and backup teleprompters in case the original one gets stolen again. Of course, as a good prog, I'm naturally going to suggest a PROGRESSIVE tax. Afterall, if you are one of the evil REICHWING RICH 1 percenters, you should pay more. Perhaps a 99% tax on their income in addition to income tax? This would represent the 99% that must occupy something even though a brain is not occupying the space between their ears. As we know, it's all the rich's fault that these people got degrees in Gender Studies, Sociology, Linguistics, Art History, Globalism, Documentary Studies, Classical Studies, etc., and a $200,000 job didn't fall out of the sky on them like a meteor!

Fear not, Dear Leader will use his influence with the cosmos to ensure this menace only strikes the Koch Brothers and those who fly corporate jets.

Shhhhhh. Right now, a small band of our brave pioneers is attempting to steer that damn rock right into Wall Street. May Lenin watch over their mission.

Shovel 4 U....... I find your visions disturbing.

Well done !

No impact, no peace!

Also, No impact, no pieces!