After much discussion between members of the Central Planning Committee, some
new rules are in order for all workers regarding our leader, the O one.

Please follow all orders below carefully:

1. Make sure you transfer the balances of all credit cards, demand deposit accounts, etc. into Citi Shiti-Bank before it is completely nationalized.

2. Quit your job for that creative entrepreneur capitalist profiteer you work for and immediately enlist in the O's Service Corp, otherwise, you will not have seniority be more equal than others, when all citizens will be working for the Service Corp.

3. $4.2 Billion has been set aside for "Neighborhood Stabilization Activities" and they may soon be hiring block captains community organizers in your neighborhood, so make sure you're at the top of the list of all applicants. You won't want to be left out of being the top snitch stabilizer in your neighborhood.

4. Always wear protective UV filter eye wear whenever The One is speaking on your television set, lest you be blinded by the light of his halo.

5. Obtain a government coupon for a new remote control device that will translate all of the O's invidious race baiting trope talk mandates, declarations, orders, etc., into plain English.

6. If you still continue to have the false belief in the law of cause and effect, there is good news. A new and effective surgical treatment is available that will eradicate this belief forever. Under the new medic-O-plan for the masses, a special corrective lobotomy, (provided for free), will wipe out all those pesky law of causality noises in your head.

That is all for now. To see more, check the O's website regularly.

Transfer all credit card balances to the People's Credit Collective Citi-Bank?

Comrade do you realize what the penalty will be for a late payment?

Defrauding the Central Committee is a "Capital" offense.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Transfer all credit card balances to the People's Credit Collective Citi-Bank?

Comrade do you realize what the penalty will be for a late payment?

Defrauding the Central Committee is a "Capital" offense.

Excellent observation, Comrade Whoopie. Thank you for the Alert. However, we must be dedicated investors in "Shiti-Bank." I completely trust that the disaster results of the stimulus package will spread the wealth around so equally to all comrades, that perhaps, it could happen, but only a few might have to sacrifice their lives in the case they are not able to comply with the "Shiti National Bank of the Messes Masses" shark loan payment increases far more fair interest rates than those who ruled under capitalism ever brought us.

6. If you still continue to have the false belief in the law of cause and effect, there is good news. A new and effective surgical treatment is available that will eradicate this belief forever. Under the new medic-O-plan for the masses, a special corrective lobotomy, (provided for free), will wipe out all those pesky law of causality noises in your head.

I don't remember being at the committee meeting, but than again, I have a terrible memory, and I think they took too much.

We gotta make sure we stimulate Jifi-Lobo so there can be enough stations. This will create jobs and prevent having to sit on a waiting list for the most important procedure EVER!!!

Commissar Obamissar V wrote:We gotta make sure we stimulate Jifi-Lobo so there can be enough stations. This will create jobs and prevent having to sit on a waiting list for the most important procedure EVER!!!

I can't wait for the Medic - O - Plan to kick in so that I can get my Free and Complete Jiffi-Lobo.