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Behold! The Party's New 5-year Housing Plan!

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What will they think of next? Burdened by the People's lack of money due to Kapitalistik demands, the Party in our People's Stronghold of Los Angeles has developed a glorious new 5-year plan of People's Housing. It's so revolutionary, in fact, that the plan was hatched by the daughter of a bona-fide Russian!

"Accessible to All", as the comrade in the video states, this smart new plan features only one kitchen and one bathroom, but has many beds situated in an environment that permits no privacy, a fact which all right-thinking comrades assuredly will enjoy.

A particularly revolutionary part of this stunning "dormitory-style" idea is the communal refrigerator, with a tiny, yet generous space provided to put your daily vodka ration or beet harvest. An even more revolutionary feature is the communal toiletry ration, a state-provided plus for fortifying your immune system against any sicknesses your fellow comrades may get.

The interior is reminiscent of a Glorious People's Factory or Tractor Barn, with concrete floors, scrap wood, and unfinished beams. Nameboards make it easy for you to find your bed and easy for the KGB to know who has that copy of the Constitution or Shakedown Socialism.

Bunkbeds, or Pods, as the comrade tells us they are, throw you kicking and screaming back to your childhood dacha, filled with family (or what's left of it) and freezing cold air. A personal outlet and telescreen provide luxury usually only enjoyed by high-ranking party officials. A nightlight only adds to the child-like glow of this truly gorgeous Party-manufactured living arrangement.

Community areas allow easy organization of Party protests or presentations of how the white capitalist man has crushed our comrades, seen them driven before him, and heard the lamentation of our trans-women. They also allow you to assault the senses of any comrade who does not like sonic modern art.

The comrade in the video says that she wishes to expand this idea across the People's Stronghold, and that anybody part of the pod-family should be able to pop into anybody else's Pod-house to use the bathroom or computer and to get a Pod-house anywhere. Boxhe moi, that idea is so revolutionary it makes my Kube spin!

The comrade also says that "you want to exist in the way you want to exist without having some code restrict that". Looks like she is an early adopter of our pro-Refugee and Mexican Economic Migrant Policies!

This writer only regrets that she didn't follow through with our Mexican Migrant policies by hiring the friendly Mexican helpers undoubtedly stationed outside of the Home Depot she got her materials from.

For more information, consult this 30 minute newsreel:



Podsharing: Nothing to your name but access to everything, an idea which must have flowed from the font of Kommunist thought that Marx sipped from 170 years ago. An idea which is truly revolutionary. An idea for all, as long as you can climb up stairs. An idea that proves that, despite the election of the orange gorilla, our agenda is being followed more and more every day. An idea which is coming to you, whether you like it or not.

ONWARD!

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Reminds me of Tiny House Nation. Too much human, not enough house. Redrum! REDRUM!!

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Comrades, the only thing missing in this model of collective efficiency is an old nautical concept called 'hot berthing' in which each bunk is shared by 3 members of the working class. Each worker gets to enjoy the bed for 8 hours so that the mattress, blankets and pillow are always cozy and warm for the next occupant.


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The American comrades are trying to reinvent the wheel. Just confiscate the large apartments from the rich already! Once all living space is owned by the government, every comrade will get his/her/its personal room and live like the rich in the rich apartment with 18 other comrades, all of whom also will be living like the rich. This is how you make everyone living like the rich without spending any of the people's money on housing.



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Uh... do you get to have sex with all those other people sharing your space? Or watch while they have sex?

And if so, is anything kinky (such as squirrel involvement) allowed?

Not asking for myself, <cough> of course. For a friend.

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I feel I must raise a few objections to the new housing plan:

  1. There is no provision for Safe Spaces™ (although they apparently plan on correcting this).
  2. There are no accommodations for the Differently-Abled™ who can't navigate stairs, step into shower stalls, or squeeze into narrow toilet stalls.
  3. There are no accommodations for the Differently-Gendered™ and/or the Differently-Sexed™ who need to be segregated protected from any possible cishet microaggressions.
  4. Aside from the decorative use of recovered pallet wood, the pods themselves are apparently constructed from virgin materials, which is far from environmentally friendly.
  5. No mention was made of whether or not the toilets are composting models, or if the shower water is recycled.
  6. Their central database of Podrades™, instead of baning the real threats to harmonious communal living (cishet white Christian males), discriminates against and marginalizes the community of snorers, and thus is a vehicle for the unidentified macroaggression of snorophobia.
  7. Rather than relying on city, state, and/or federal funding, they're utilizing the outdated immoral capitalist practice of thievery known as rent.
  8. As they're relying upon rent, there are obviously no accommodations for immigrants, refugees, or the unemployed who can't afford to pay.

Had this comrade drafted a plan and submitted it to the proper city planning committee, the plan would have been subject to review by and comments from special interest groups which would have revealed these and other flaws. While these comrades apparently understand the joys of communal living, they have very little appreciation for the concomitant joys of bureaucratic central planning.

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Uh... do you get to have sex with all those other people sharing your space? Or watch while they have sex?

And if so, is anything kinky (such as squirrel involvement) allowed?

Not asking for myself, <cough> of course. For a friend.

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Re: "squirrel involvement" - Ask Comrade Putout.

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Who can resist a squirrel who can do this?
.

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Comrade Putout wrote:.
Who can resist a squirrel who can do this?
.

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Stop! You're making me blush! We don't want to make the others jealous - especially Ivan!

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Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote: Had this comrade drafted a plan and submitted it to the proper city planning committee, the plan would have been subject to review by and comments from special interest groups which would have revealed these and other flaws. While these comrades apparently understand the joys of communal living, they have very little appreciation for the concomitant joys of bureaucratic central planning.
Indeed. Had they submitted their plan (in multiple copies, all carefully certified with the properly certified certification vouchers) to the city planning committee, said plan would still be under advisement in the advisory subcommittee of the investigatory board reporting to the full committee on reporting to the oversight committee before being vetted by the special interest groups and returned for certification to the certification office and then forwarded to the members for review before the next session of the city planning committee, which will be scheduled as soon as the agenda subcommittee returns from its sensitivity retraining retreat, which is awaiting scheduling by the scheduling committee.

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Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:Points 1-8
9. Are there no rugs or accommodations for Muslim prayers or that foot washing thing they love to do?

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Captain Craptek wrote:
Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Uh... do you get to have sex with all those other people sharing your space? Or watch while they have sex?

And if so, is anything kinky (such as squirrel involvement) allowed?

Not asking for myself, <cough> of course. For a friend.

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Re: "squirrel involvement" - Ask Comrade Putout.
Sex? Looks like you'd be lucky if you could ride the Great White Knuckler under those conditions Comrade.
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Here's how a brilliant Russian cartoonist imagines the kitchen in an American communal apartment - the People's Cube style.

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