A few days ago our long-time reader James Andrews, a government employee, wrote us this:

James wrote:I was issued a new van last week, a "flex fuel" ford E350. I am required to use E85. So I thought of a new bumper sticker/t-shirt: "Biofuels: causing world hunger one fill-up at a time

So I created a bumper sticker in our Zazzle store, which he promptly bought and affixed to his government-owned, biofuel-powered van.

James wrote:Let's see how long it takes for the Party to respond.

How long do you think this sticker will last? This site is now officially taking bets.

In other news, we also created a design with the same slogan and put it on a shirt - now available at Zazzle as well for the explicit purpose of spreading the correct message.

I say a reprimand within six weeks.

Well, he was a long time government employee until you got him fired. Now he'll have more time to hangout at the Cube. Lucky him.

Maybe you could make one that reads "My boss is a dick" and send them free to all government employees. Once they're all fired, big government will cease to be a problem.

(Oops, I guess that was "out of character")

That Mark Halperin has a way with words too... He had a firm grasp of the situation, and had a good grip.

I've decided that anyone displaying this bumper sticker or wearing the t-shirt need not be punished by the Party for a very simple reason: The artwork is so eye-catching and so totally evokes our Green imagery that virtually none of our followers eager to always be "green" will actually read the words on the bumper sticker or T-shirt. (We already know that from the fact that so many of our youthful comrades wear the Che t-shirt in college to prove they're cool without having any substantive knowledge about him at all.) Thus, the bumper-sticker and t-shirt will be misunderstood by most of our supporters as supporting our agenda. And we certainly don't want to encourage them to start reading for themselves, so by praising the logo, we can encourage them to uncritically purchase items displaying it and let the foolish anti-greens deceive themselves into believing they are hurting our message. Our followers will not look past the eye-catching artwork that evokes the holy of holies in our cause: To be/wear/think "green."


--Gorbels Cube

Ivan Betinov wrote:I say a reprimand within six weeks.

I'm guessing 3 weeks max.

And Comrade Square - a MOST excellent design! In a sustainable sort of way, of course.

A *Ford* E350. The other day I saw a brand new Ford Fusion with US Gov. tags.

Why is the US Government buying Fords when they own GM?

Government: GM cars suck so bad, we won't buy them, and we own the company.

No worries, Komrades! Our little Nipponese friends have found a countermeasure to balance out our use of food for fuel: POOP BURGERS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1N6Qfu ... detailpagE

Comrades to arms! I just heard that the price of bacon is going up. Pork bellies are already up to $1.30/lb per hundred weight. That means generic store brand bacon at over $4/lb.

Why you ask? Some greedy rich fat cat who controls the price of pork? Sadly, no. The reason is the price of feed corn. Hog producers can't afford to feed their pigs so they're reducing production. One cob of corn in 8 has been diverted to ethanol production.

Comrades, this bio-fuel gimmick is just thinly disguised sabotage. We must find a way to blame it on Republicans.

Gorbels Cube wrote:I've decided that anyone displaying this bumper sticker or wearing the t-shirt need not be punished by the Party for a very simple reason: The artwork is so eye-catching and so totally evokes our Green imagery that virtually none of our followers eager to always be "green" will actually read the words on the bumper sticker or T-shirt. (We already know that from the fact that so many of our youthful comrades wear the Che t-shirt in college to prove they're cool without having any substantive knowledge about him at all.) Thus, the bumper-sticker and t-shirt will be misunderstood by most of our supporters as supporting our agenda. And we certainly don't want to encourage them to start reading for themselves, so by praising the logo, we can encourage them to uncritically purchase items displaying it and let the foolish anti-greens deceive themselves into believing they are hurting our message. Our followers will not look past the eye-catching artwork that evokes the holy of holies in our cause: To be/wear/think "green."


--Gorbels Cube

Comrade Gorbels,

You're absolutely correct! It's not that fine print at the bottom of the BIOFUELS that will be noticed, or understood; it's the fact that it's green and politically korrekt that matters.

It reminds me of a series of posters that I once saw (can't recall the group of reichwinger college students who came up with them, but they brought their wares to our leftist rallies to try to counter our goals and ideals with witty slogans similar in spirit to our BIOFUELS T-shirt). The poster said, "COMMUNISM DIDN'T KILL ANYONE except 20 million people." Of course no one noticed the fine print as long as the message that Communism is GOOD was received and recognized.

An update from James Andrews, whose vehicle is featured in the picture:

I was instructed by my supervisor to remove the Biofuels sticker from my work van. Apparently the Party did not like it.

Thus ends another chapter in our struggle. The sticker lasted from the end of June to the end of August: two months.

Those who made bets may now collect their winnings. Don't forget to declare full amounts thereof in your tax forms on April 15th, so the government can subsidize more biofuel producers and add more biofuel vehicles to its fleet, contributing to world hunger - one subsidy at a time.