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Breaking: Orlando shooter may have worked near Chick-fil-A

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As law enforcement authorities begin to piece together evidence related to the Orlando shooting, a darker, more sinister image begins to emerge of the mass murderer. In a shocking testimony from his ex-wife, FBI investigators discovered that Omar Mateen had once worked near a Chick-fil-A, and may have visited the Creation Museum in Kentucky.

"He was fine with the gay lifestyle," said his former wife. "In fact, he even joined Gays for Allah and became a leader in the movement with a promising future." But all that was destined to change. Omar's ex-wife continued, "One day he came home smelling like chicken, and something in his eyes told me that he was a different man. It was like just standing outside of a Chick-fil-A made you intoxicated with the fumes of intolerance spewing out of their cookers, and he said he couldn't live this lifestyle any more. He claimed a being he called "Cathy" would visit him and tell him he must repudiate homosexuality. He seemed confused because he thought Cathy was a man. It was then he disappeared for a week."

Not knowing of his whereabouts during the time of his absence, Omar's ex-wife said that wherever he had been, he came back more extreme than ever. "I was watching Bill Nye the Science Guy with my children when Omar returned. He stood still for a moment with clenched teeth and fists, and then he darted into the bedroom. Before we knew what was happening, he returned to the living room with an assault rifle and emptied a magazine into the television set. All the while he was shouting, 'The Ham forbids it!' It wasn't until a friend told me about the Bill Nye – Ken Ham debate that I realized where he had been. I was chilled. It was then I knew I had to leave before he poisoned the children with Christian doctrine and creationism."

FBI director, James Comey, said the latest information made everything clear. "We had nothing to go on except Omar's Muslim background, previous investigations for associating with known jihadists, claiming links with Islamic terror organizations, and his allegiance to ISIS, so we were understandably confused about his motives. Our protocol rules out Islamic terrorism, so we were certain that Islam had nothing to do with it. But once we found out he had been exposed to Christian radicalism, we knew we had found the missing piece of the puzzle. It all made sense after that, and there was this facepalm moment when we all said, 'Of course!'"

ACLU lawyers were quicker to pinpoint the source of Omar's hate in radical Christianity. Numerous tweets showed not only a deep understanding and expertise in Christian doctrine, but also made an ironclad connection between Christian teachings and how they inspire mass murder. "Gosh," said an awestruck Comey, "how did they see it so fast?"

It is, of course, a matter of historical record that Islam is the religion of peace, tolerance, science, and women's rights. Had Omar been a Muslim, such a tragedy would never have happened. To believe otherwise is to be guilty of Islamophobia, a hateful ideology the adherents of which must be stoned to death.


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Chick-Fil-A reaches out to everyone and sadly this market segment is growing.

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There aren't many people who are aware of a New Science of Police Forehandzics, an even better and much more efficient tool than Police Forensics, but currently only in the early testing phases.

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While we need also to praise and admire Obama for attempting to raise the current level of political discourse from his recent visit to all 57 states, by directing offering Democrat opponent Donald Trump frustration and anger friendly compliments about misguided words, but make no mistake, we all know that Republicans are under misguided beliefs about Islamic terrorism as this incident was just a felony misdemeanor due to having to work at Chick-fil-A rather than a Living Wage ™ but racially profiled as well. In a secret memo that has been widely circulated within the halls of the Justice Department, DHS, and CDC as well as a host of like minded progressives a newly discovered retrovirus had in fact attacked Omar's inductive thinking center while at Chick-fil-A. ACLU lawyers have noted that this new retrovirus may have effected Omar and other similar cases, they were also frustrated that Omar died in a wild shoot out instead of being able to serve as a court appointed lawyers, in which Omar would be placed on bail in order to give his court appointed taxpayer supported legal representation time in which to create a media approved narrative to make Omar the victim prepare a lawsuit against Chik-fil-A and the city of Orlando. Unfortunately, we are long passed the time when a young man with innocence lost due to not from Trump's evil advocacy groups disguised as a political party which continues to use the phony threat of Islamic Terrorism but also the ill effects of Chick-fil-A and Reight wing parchment waving neocons. Hopefully, we may live to see the day when President Hillary is sworn in as rest assured, there wil be no such nonsense from this future president about supporting Constitutional rights and defending liberty, as Americans are just simply not worth it.


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Minitrue wrote:Look what I found:

The attachment gaythread.jpg is no longer available

From the Kube Vault:

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Makes me wonder how much the premiums will go up to cure these people of their Islamophobia?


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Minitrue, would that be a Gaydsden flag?

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Wow comrade betinov, I had to read the wikipedia page for that :) Gaydsden flag it is!

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Minitrue wrote:Wow comrade betinov, I had to read the wikipedia page for that :) Gaydsden flag it is!
And here I thought it was a light-hearted attempt at humor about patrons maintaining a degree of civility in a Mosh Pit.

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Far from it comrade! The level of discussion is reaching intellectual heights. Soon we will risk denouncement as "academic bourgeoisie".

While I was reading the wikipedia page (I honestly never heard of the word "Gadsden" flag), I found this pearl:

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
ACLU lawyers were quicker to pinpoint the source of Omar's hate in radical Christianity. Numerous tweets showed not only a deep understanding and expertise in Christian doctrine, but also made an ironclad connection between Christian teachings and how they inspire mass murder. "Gosh," said an awestruck Comey, "how did they see it so fast?"


"ACLU", is, of course, the acronym for the "Anti-Christian Liberties Union".

They are closely affiliated with the YMACA ("Young Men's Anti-Christian Association"), which has offices in Orlando, San Francisco, New York, and Stalingrad.

Conrade Grendelsohnovovich


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In fact, Chick-Fil-A came in on a SUNDAY and fed 600 people waiting to give blood in Orlando.

I hear they only had five buns and three chickens to feed the six hundred.

Comment stolen from here.

RIMSHOT!


 
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