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Chairman Punchenko, where are You??

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Where are You, Chairman??

Comrades,

One of our Esteemed High Ranking Party Officials has been missing from the Cube for many months now. His presence has not been seen here at the Collective Farm, when he usually makes his monthly "collections" for working dues from the field workers, for the Party.

Has anyone seen or heard from the Chairman??

Did he get abducted by the Criminally Insane Kommissar Vodkov? Was he forced into sexual servitude, in the service of our MTE or Nansky? Is Marshal Pupovich holding him until he can pay for the damages at the Pleasure Palace? Did he get caught snuggling with Chairman Mao again? Is he on a special mission for our Dear Leader?

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Zarkov, Meow is unfortunately in therapy now. I was noticing that after every visit to the Rancho de Rio Grande more and more of my things had grown legs and walked away. I paid Meow a visit at his dacha, just to be friendly you know, and found where a lot of my things had walked to.

Bruno and I kidnapped helped Meow to a place of recovery, where he can work on overcoming this unfortunate tendency to liberate things which belong to other party members.

The problem was that most of the things that he'd liberated he'd liberated from me, a Made Progressive. So dear Meow is in his own wing of the Rancho, and Dr. Bruno is tending personally to his therapy. It consists of aroma therapy--smelling the used sheets of the bed that our Many Titted Empress slept on; and musical therapy, which is of course Bruno's rendering of all his favorite Liza numbers.

Meow is responding wonderfully. So far I have recovered the location of about 50% of all the things that he liberated from me.

Praise Lenin, the Chairman is safe and receiving the care he desperately needs!! Thank you, Commissar Theocritus, for helping the Chairman recover from his affliction.

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Oh, yes, he's recovering. And I'm sure his fingernails will grow back. As soon as I get back all of my Lalique.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Zarkov, Meow is unfortunately in therapy now. I was noticing that after every visit to the Rancho de Rio Grande more and more of my things had grown legs and walked away. I paid Meow a visit at his dacha, just to be friendly you know, and found where a lot of my things had walked to.

I know how it feels to suffer from kleptomania. Whenever the urge strikes me, I take something for it.

We need our dear Chairman to have a full recovery so that he may once again make his "collections" from the Neo-KKKons and the VRWC. Hopefully, Commissar Theocritus will recover all or most to the items that were "relieved" from him.

Oh, how I miss hearing the screams of agony, when the Chairman stopped by a Neo-KKKon's home to obtain a campaign donation or just to drink all of the liquor and urinate on the furniture.

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Whoopie wrote:I know how it feels to suffer from kleptomania. Whenever the urge strikes me, I take something for it.
Just so, Whoopie, just so. You're a most equal progressive, and this is entirely suitable.

Zarkof, Meow getting campaign contributions and peeing on the furniture was indeed fun. He would dress in a Teddy Kennedy mask, which terrified all of them. THe problem was that on seeing the Teddy mask they'd pee all over themselves, so Meow didn't have a blank slate.

Now that Teddy has gone to those Big Socialist Fields in the Sky, the Teddy mask ought to be even more effective.


 
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