Colorado Citizens Ordered to Smoke More Pot

Dear Comrades,

Due to a $21 million shortfall in Collectivization goals for Colorado Oblast, the Colorado Regional Soviet has declared that all citizens under its jurisdiction are to immediately increase their consumption of State-sponsored marijuana products in order to meet the Party’s plan for $33 million in taxes for the first six months of marijuana legalization.

Kulaks and those hoarding People’s Dollars can expect a visit from the Oblast’s Drug Enforcement Agency, which is tasked with enforcing consumption and checking each citizen’s government-mandated supply of marijuana, both in smoke-able and non-smoke-able forms. Any citizen found without evidence of his receiving his fair share of marijuana will be brought to his local dispensary in order to meet his obligatory goals according to the Party’s compulsory Marijuana Usage Chart.

Citizens must, on demand from law enforcement officials, produce receipts from State-regulated dispensaries demonstrating they have obtained their marijuana through government distribution centers, which also collect taxes for marijuana. Anyone found buying marijuana outside the State system, such as ‘black market’ marijuana which does not bear the Oblast’s tax stamp, may be required to work in one of the State's hemp fields for remedial labor.

Comrades who have already met their marijuana consumption goals are strongly encouraged to show their patriotism and commitment to social progress by increasing their purchases of marijuana above their set allotment. Those comrades with exceptionally high consumption can expect extra time off from assigned labor duties and increased food rations.

Raise your goals for getting high, and lift up the Proletariat! Marijuana use is uplifting and Progressive!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
 

The Alaskan People's Democratic Republic is voting on a similar measure this November. Proponents of this most equal initiative are touting the tremendous tax benefit this will provide for the Party State Government. They have even gone as far as to claim that the revenue will surpass the taxes paid on the ill gotten gains from the evil one percent Oil Companies. I do hope that our experience is equal to that of our Colorado Komrades!

Swimming with the Current Truth

Red Salmon
 

A commenter on Facebook wrote: Is that Obama on the pedestal?

Actually, we used the original Lenin statue, but after we had seen the light, we changed the graphic to show Dear Leader crowning the building.

The building itself is called The Palace of Soviets, and the plan was to have a gigantic rotating statue of Lenin on top. Started by Stalin in the 1930s, the project was never completed because it was too grandiose and utopian to begin with. They, however, destroyed a historic church to lay the foundation. Thus it has become an allegory of the entire communist experiment in the USSR.

But here in the USSA, comrades, we have a much more advanced technology developed for our needs by the dying capitalist class of exploiters. Therefore we have developed this:



The People’s Cube proposal for a statuary project commemorating the great struggle and glorious achievements of Dear Leader Barack Barackovich Obama for the common good.
 

N-Climber....


Dude Comrade I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a few Blunts today....

After we have the entire collective laying around stoned on Mary Jane what's the plan on how do we get them back to work in the beet fields?? I mean the mere mention of work is sure to "harsh their mellow!" I sure hope that the Welfare checks keep coming to us privileged upper party members cause I'll be way too baked relaxed for an actual job...... 7 Eleven stores still take EBT cards right??
 

Oh, dear! Is that nasty "free market" kapitalist thing competing with our mandatory consumption requirements again? Don't you hate it when that happens? Pay no attention to the low price competition comrades. Apply for low interest government loans and buy only high cost, highly taxed State Approved Pot. (SAP)
 

Red Square

The People’s Cube proposal for a statuary project commemorating the great struggle and glorious achievements of Dear Leader Barack Barackovich Obama for the common good.

Oh how glorious, Comrade. It brings tears to my eyes to think how this monument to Dear Leader could overshadow Mt Rushmore. In fact, it should be built on Mt Rushmore. A symbol for generations to come. Our children, our children's choldren, our children's children's children could look at this monument and marvel at what our glorious generation did to the country in elevating such a Noble, clean, bright and articulate man to be supreme leader of the Republic. And with the workers all on State issued canniboids, the poject, itself, will be a symbol of the efficiency of central planning. What utter joy, comrades! My tears are as a river imaging the completion of this magnificent project.
 

It seems "phallic" in its basic design, but then that's appropriate and symbolic of so much...
 

Even more appropriate if the statue is rotating, comrade.
 

Tovarichi

It seems "phallic" in its basic design, but then that's appropriate and symbolic of so much...
Nonsense. Dear Leader would never indulge in such patriarchal phallocentric heteronormative hegemonic symbolism. Or if he tried to, surely Dear Leaderess would put a stop to it quickly.
 

Or perhaps Dear Leader's pedestal should be redesigned to allow enough room for an accompanying statue of Reggie Love standing behind him, as it were.......

That would put an end to any " heteronormative " speculation.
 

Silly commies, that's nothing but State Capitalism. Better watch out or the Trotskyites will get you.
 

Free Medical Marijuana For The Masses NOW!!!
 

RedDiaperette

Nonsense. Dear Leader would never indulge in such patriarchal phallocentric heteronormative hegemonic symbolism. Or if he tried to, surely Dear Leaderess would put a stop to it quickly.


Dear Leaderess (is that not sexist?) has her own phallicies to deal with.



 

A pot a day keeps the capitalist pig away.