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Comrade Silverman Pushes to Outlaw Masturbation (for men)

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Comrades! I have important news to bring to the collective's attention the recent airing from The Party's A/V Dept., since you were probably too ‘busy' to watch it anyways. Yesterday on MSNBC's NOW with Alex Wagner, our forward thinking progressive womynkin conducted a brilliant state-approved discussion on how evil the bourgeois part of NO is. Specifically, they talked about Rethuglikkkan attitudes towards our precious womynkin, and stepped deeper into the muck of Lovecraftian horror known as the conservative position on infanticide abortion womyn's right to choose Reproductive Health Issues.

Just listen to the glorious words of “Comedian” (What the Future Workers are calling ‘Directorate of Information' these days). “I mean, these are people who are anti-big government. And yet they want to make laws about my vagina and what I do with my body. I don't think that would be tolerated if we started legislating men's bodies. I mean, the truth is sperm has a sense of smell. That's just something scientists have known for a decade. That means that sperm is life. And so in my opinion, we've got to save those babies. If they're going to masturbate into a shower drain or a gym sock, we've got to stop them.”

You've heard the words from Comrade Silverman! We must push for legislation! We must understand that by Comrade Silverman's undeniable logic, we are killing millions upon millions of Future Workers every day! We demand action to protect our most progressive state! For the children™!

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She makes an excellent spokesperson for the drive to eliminate masturbation. She inspires me to abstain from the act as soon as I see her.


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Ivan Betinov wrote:By the way, when did the DOW hit Pi?
To comply with the standards set forth by the all-encompassing 'O' of course.

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[color=#C0392B]Comrade Silverman[/color] was speaking the truth when she wrote:If they're going to masturbate into a shower drain or a gym sock, we've got to stop them.

We just heard it wrong...
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Ah, comrade Silverman. She is the perfect candidate to be the prophylactic poster child is she not?

Comrade Nietzsche, I think, summed it up well in his immortal Gedanken über hässlichen radikalen Frauen:

"Wenn alles gesagt und getan ist, dass ist man hässliche Frau. Man müsste ein Ubermensch sein, halte es sogar."


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[color=#C0392B]Lev Termen[/color] was quite pithy when he wrote:Comrade Nietzsche, I think, summed it up well in his immortal Gedanken über hässlichen radikalen Frauen:

"Wenn alles gesagt und getan ist, dass ist man hässliche Frau. Man müsste ein Ubermensch sein, halte es sogar."
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...and that is exactly what happened to Sarah!
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Comrade Silverman is clearly a complete idiot more equal thinker whose intellect is matched by none.

Just look at the stats.....

55 million killed in 4 minutes.
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55 million killed in 40 years.
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Minister, Square.

Can we please get this most needed item added to store #86? Soon.

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Quote Silverman: "I mean, the truth is sperm has a sense of smell."

This may help explain lesbianism.

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Comrade Silverman is also against 'entartete Kunst' (degenerate art).


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I DENOUNCE this sexist attack against Men's health and reproductive freedoms! (Not that I need a gym sock, or take too long in the showers...no sirree, Tovarichi keeps the "little Mrs." happy, and that's all my comrades need to know. I don't kiss & tell...)

When gym socks are outlawed, only outlaws will have gym socks!

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I've noticed increasing references to mechanical stimulation, sexual functions and organs on this site lately. Are we coming entering the annual human reproductive season? How interesting. Do you gather in large packs and go at it, or is it done secretly in dark places? I must study farther on this...

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[color=#C0392B]Tovarichi[/color] was most profound when he wrote:When gym socks are outlawed, only outlaws will have gym socks!

Comrade Tovarichi - what about the single shot tube sock?

[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] didn't realize he would soon find out when he wrote:I've noticed increasing references to mechanical stimulation, sexual functions and organs on this site lately. Are we coming entering the annual human reproductive season? How interesting. Do you gather in large packs and go at it, or is it done secretly in dark places? I must study farther on this...

Captain Craptek - don't look directly into her eyes or you will be hip-mo-tized!
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Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Can you say "Pon Farr"?

In squirrel, it's Pon Notso Farr.


Comrade Putout made the fir on my tail stand up when she wrote:I just took the tube socks out of the dryer, CC!

I hope they're one-size-fits-all comrade - and nice and warm.

* By official order of TPC censor, there will be no image attached to this post.

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Comrade Putout wrote: Comrade Tovarichi - what about the single shot tube sock?
Do they make such a thing? I've always assumed that full-auto tube socks were much more popular...

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA set himself up for disaster when he wrote: Do they make such a thing? I've always assumed that full-auto tube socks were much more popular...
Now would you use "clips" or "magazines" for that sort of thing? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

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Aw, R.O.C.K, you know that Putout always has a firm grip on the situation...There must be!

Now the real trick is finding one in over/under (and someone to share it with)!

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Comrade Sovremennyy wrote:
R.O.C.K. in the USSA set himself up for disaster when he wrote: Do they make such a thing? I've always assumed that full-auto tube socks were much more popular...
Now would you use "clips" or "magazines" for that sort of thing? Sorry, I couldn't resist.
I do believe that round "drum" magazines are generally used, comrade, typically in pairs to ensure fail-safe feeding.

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Tovarichi wrote:Aw, R.O.C.K, you know that Putout always has a firm grip on the situation...There must be!

Now the real trick is finding one in over/under (and someone to share it with)!
Indeed, Comrade - or as they say in the industry, "Aye, there's the rub!"

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Indeed, Comrade - or as they say in the industry, "Aye, there's the rub!"
...and "a happy ending"


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I didn't know where to post this, so I'll do it here:

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Gospodin Red Square, I believe there is a control missing in the lower section of the graphic you have most excellently cited above. It is standard equipment on all Mackie systems and in my own experience it also seems to be standard equipment on the deadlier of the species.


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Well, well, well... what do we have here?!

Someone from the Cube™ is sweet on Sarah!

I received this image, anonymously, in my gmail.

I was able to enhance (with my GIMP program) and identify!

Who do you think would be showering with Sarah with Cube™ gear?

Who do you think would leave his socks near her behind?

You. Will. Not. Be. Surprised!
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        Mystery item No. 0

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Hey ROCK, She shoves a pair of socks down the front of her pants just like...aw, who was the sailor that kept running his pie-hole at the show trial?

Damn, I just keep having visions of pudding...

Whenever I need to release the tensions caused by the vagaries of the People's Beet Harvest I always fall back on this



Hear me out comrades. Has anyone ever got under the skin of this most decadent and aggressive Social Darwinistic States of America as did Comrade Barr when she mocked their paean to Amerikkan warmongering of peaceful British shipping in Baltimore Harbor .... only to follow up with nuanced satire of retrograde paternalistic sexual mores by playfully grabbing her own vagina?

Therefore it must be celebrated by the proceeds from my own "beat harvest"*

*(Is good joke, da Comrades?)

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Comrade Popcorn Putout,

A friend told me this story about a movie theater, his date, and a bag of popcorn. I think he was putting me on, but I figured I'd ask your opinion cause you seem like the resident expert on such matters. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

Captain Craptek (Coconut oil importer)

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Red Square wrote:I didn't know where to post this, so I'll do it here:
As good a place as any, Comrade - its accuracy is beyond reproach!

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Tovarichi wrote:Hey ROCK, She shoves a pair of socks down the front of her pants just like...aw, who was the sailor that kept running his pie-hole at the show trial?

Damn, I just keep having visions of pudding...
Those visions are quite rewarding, comrade, I must say, although we really need to get the gang together again for real one of these days.

I have the limo on retainer :)

Comrade Putout, you must admit that Sarah does look quite fetching in only socks!

Fortunately, though, this was just another tiny part of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy to make those of us who are of a more progressive leaning look bad. I suspect Ted Nugent was behind the clandestine sock shipment to Ms Silverman; and I wouldn't put it past his lovely confused wife, Shemane, to have embroidered them.

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From now on, "put a sock in it" will carry with it an entirely different meaning...

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[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] was being cheeky when he wrote:Comrade Popcorn Putout,

A friend told me this story about a movie theater, his date, and a bag of popcorn. I think he was putting me on, but I figured I'd ask your opinion cause you seem like the resident expert on such matters. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

Captain Craptek (Coconut oil importer)

You know darn well I never go out to the movies!

I eat nothing but vegetarian popcorn and prepare it myself...
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Comrade Putout wrote:I eat nothing but vegetarian popcorn and prepare it myself...

Comrade Putout, this is acceptable but is no longer considered "best practice" in the food preparation field.

Current standard is free-range popcorn, cooked in holy corn oil (that is, oil made from the corns of holy men -- in your country, called polyunsaturated ghee) -- see sec. 2, "Temporarily Humboldt County" [1968], op. cit..

Squirrel fat works fine, too, and gives a marvelous rich flavor to the finished product.

Regarding "doing it yourself," see above in re "Rude Solo Light."

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[color=#C0392B]Lev Termen[/color] confused me greatly when he wrote:Regarding "doing it yourself," see above in re "Rude Solo Light."

I Googled this and still don't know if it is good or bad!?

Also - should the light be on solid...
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...or flash?
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