Comrades, I've heard rumors that your glorious Party is running a network of "assault mines" in Siberia. I want to state right now, for the record that the Party™ is not operating any such network of newly developed command detonated offensive landmines with a kill radius of 25 yards and a wounding radius out to 40 yds. which were developed in our last 5 year armament research program.

These non-existent landmines look absolutely nothing like the diagram pictured below.

Any such rumor is an outright lie.

(indistinct voice in background) What's that you say? It wasn't "assault" mines? It was what? Ohhhhh, that's different.

Ahem, nevermind.

Comrade Whoopie is correct,

These are not a salt mines, they are called "pepper" mines, which are similar to American Claymore mines.

Of course, you say that there are no mines in Siberia, and I believe you. Why on earth would Comrade Putin want to place land mine near any oil rich regions?

Leninka - what else do you think is the reason for the near extinction of the Siberian Tiger? Land mines!

I did not know that. Little Black Sambo turned Tigers into butter syrup by running them around a tree so fast they melted, however, I see now that Little Siberian Sambovich must have planted land mines to turn the tigers into Tiger Shashlyk.

My comrades,

Using a 50 - 50 mix is never a good idea because spotting the lies is simple.

A far better approach is to use 90% truth and 10% "other", with the "other" so astutely wrapped in the truth, it is very difficult to discern one from the "other".

The highest usage of the "other" should never exceed 15%.

Comrade Tooorisky,

Your talking to someone whose "Lie-dar" is non-existent. That would be me.

Comrade Leninka,

These handy "formulae" can be used in text sent to you, or when writing of another.

Techniques are simply tested and proven methodologies for evaluation/dissemination.

Simply stated, it is better to refrain from ax murders when writing.

CT

Methodologies? How progressive is that? And don't forget that Comrade Red Square was the first to counteract Comrade Whoopie's assertion. It's not my fault.

Nothing's ever my fault. Father Prog Theocritus told me so.

Oooh shiny! Toys! I want. How come I never get those kinds of cool toys? Noooo.... I have to mine the area outside my bunker with LAST GENERATION technology. Hmmph. Does Santa Mao bring me hi tech mines? Of course not. I'm entitled to top of the line landmines damnit! I DEMAND MODERN LANDMINES! NO LANDMINES NO JUSTICE!

Seems like these devices may be good at unearthing many beets in one step, instead of relying on a multitude of shoveling proles, who may now be used to fill other meaningless important Party functions.

Comrade Peabody,

After the explosion and harvest, shovels can be used to replace all; the dirt scattered about by the triggering of the device.

It would also be good to have a supply of body bags for those who cannot resist getting a closer look than the laws of motion allow.

Comrade Whoopie, This is very interesting because I was just about tell you that....

Excellent idea, Comrade Tooorisky! After all, Gaia must be returned to her pristine state For The Children™ to enjoy, no?

On the other hand, instead of body bags for those who suffer the consequences of the Laws of Motion, would it not be better to just bury them in mass graves use our shovels to return them to the loving embrace of Mother Gaia, so that they may in turn feed the next crop of nourishing beets?

I was assaulted by one of those old salty land miners and beat the *&$#! out of him. I do not know what the bigness of the deal is about. . . . use your Obama supplied, military boots and kick the quadraddle of the them. That is all that is necessary. But, as you say, if they are not there, they are not there . . . so what was your point? I am confused . . . you make no sense, Comrade Whoopie.

Aynone Anyodby fro a vokda?

Glad to see you're finally out of hibernation Frau, although why you need to with all that 100 proof anti-freeze in your blood escapes me.

Did you enjoy your Xmas gift?
https://thepeoplescube.com/post114655.html#114655

I AM SURE, IN SOME WAY, YOU ANNOYED THAT FRIENDLY SNAKE. He has never attacked or even bitten anyone who didn't deserve it. You just don't know how to be really appreciative of a gift, now, do you??!

Ah yes, a vacuum. The beloved late Mr. P gave me a vacuum once . . . not long before he took a permanent trip to that great gathering place in the sky. sniff I sure miss him. sniffle
. . . . .which reminds me. . . . did you check the OTHER desk drawer? oops, now I've messed up the surprise.

And I don't understand your 100 proofing with Auntie Fritz joking either! She could have died out there!

Red Square wrote:Leninka - what else do you think is the reason for the near extinction of the Siberian Tiger? Land mines!

UPDATED:

Because last nights libation session was brutal. This one is a little less dumber?