Comrades,

Lately I've sensed that there are many in our fold who are disagreeing among themselves on what is the progressively correct policy in Libya. Being an immigrant from the harmonious planet, Pandora, and being unequivocally committed to the progressive vision of a Global Community in Harmony with GAIA, I've decided to provide to my comrades the benefit of my objectivity in my struggle to determine which of the many options for Libya (which options are exceeded in number only by the spellings of Qaddafi) is the most progressively appropriate, but I must preface my conclusions with information necessary to provide the essential social-justice and cultural contexts for discerning the proper conclusions:


Libyan lucubration leaves loyalliberals/leftistslistlessly looking languished like lurching lemmings lacking lucid lowdown limning lemmasleavening/liquidatingLibyan leadership. Should they support Obama's KMATRIW (Kinetic Military Action That Really Isn't War) for booties on the ground, Obama's MIAWAA (Maybe It's A War After All) boots on the ground, Obama's No-Fly Zone, Code Pink's boobs on the ground, or Aisha Qaddafi (or Gaddafi or Ghadafy or Khadafy-- may her spellings be many) Leading Libyan Labian Legions?


My fellow latte-drinking, green-limousine-riding, hybrid-jet-flying, brie-cheese eating, carbon-offset-indulgences-buying, Woodstock-loving, free-love loving, peace-loving, GAIA-worshiping, progressive comrades: It is with a sagging heart but firm breasts that stand here today experiencing a quadrilemma in trying to decide which of the following four positions I should support on Libya.

. [left]Having given careful thought to each of the four options described above (and believing that as an immigrant to Earth from Pandora I can be more objective than can most of my comrades on the left), I have a social-justice responsibility to announce my selection and explain my reasons for doing so. I recognize this is an awesome responsibility, so I channeled not only Mother Earth but also Father Pandora (and also Shirley McLain and Eleanor Roosevelt) to be sure I'm making the most wise decision most harmonious with what would be the wishes of the trees, the rivers, the melting glaciers, the polar bears, and so on.[/left] [left].[/left]

. [floatright][/floatright]So, what have I concluded? Option (1) is most suitable at night or during early-morning hours because even in the desert it gets cold, and this option allows the feet to be kept warm and comfy. Option (2) is most suitable on Fridays because they are prayer days and most civilian (men) will be inside their mosques and thus safe from aerial bombardment, and we know that Sharia is most concerned with men and thus wisely views women as object of their responsibilities-- thus, we know that during such prayer times, the men require their women to remain hidden from public view in safe places. Option (3), which describes females lying face-down for nude sunbathing, should be followed only during internationally recognized cease-fires, which will afford opportunities for much-needed R&R for the courageous men (who would otherwise be busy engaging in combat) to fire their guns into the air in celebratory fashion in order to startle the sun-bathing women into suddenly getting up or turning over. Aisha's leadership of women under option (4) helps remind them how they are especially equipped to enable the courageous men to get the most out of the R&R that typically follows Option (3).


All of these options are culturally sensitive and thus are progressively correct. Thus, they should all be implemented. Our courageous leader,Obama, recognizes that it would be a form of cultural imperialism for the United States to favor options (1) and (2) to the exclusion of options (3) and (4). Option (4) will be especially effective in inspiring young Muslim women to risk being beheaded by followers of the Muslim Brotherhood, al Qaeda or followers of the Iranian Mullahs by emulating the Western, jet-setting lifestyle of daughters of tyrants repressing everyone in order to repress the Brotherhood, al Qaeda et al. [See photograph of Aisha Qaddafi (to the right) awaiting arrival of one of her BFFs in the European Jet-Set.]

GAIA Minister Neytiri,

The crux of our kinetic action is distraction. I believe that, with your help, this campaign can come to a favorable outcome for all involved. Would it be possible for you to gather a small force of your Sister Pandorans? I don't know about about our Islamic brothers, but ten foot tall, nearly naked, blue alien females would distract me from anything.

Grigori E.R. wrote:GAIA Minister Neytiri,

The crux of our kinetic action is distraction. I believe that, with your help, this campaign can come to a favorable outcome for all involved. Would it be possible for you to gather a small force of your Sister Pandorans? I don't know about about our Islamic brothers, but ten foot tall, nearly naked, blue alien females would distract me from anything.

.

Comrade Grigori,


As you know, one of the problems is that the we naked Pandorans frighten our non-Islamic comrades more than our Islamic comrades in the IFAPSA alliance (re that alliance, see below):





Our Islamic Bretheren (Muslim Brotherhood) are eager to join because they are assuming they'll meet 72 Naked Neytiris in heaven. I think we have to appeal to our non-Islamic comrades on different terms by offering "Heaven on Earth" as an incentive for them to join forces with us. This "Heaven on Earth" concept seems to be well understood by at least some of our Progressive Comrades such as those who make those "Rock the Vote" videos (and MTV videos) offering comparable "Heaven on Earth" incentives for young men willing to vote for Progressives. We're working on it.


I had thought Whoopie was going to help, but he may be too busy trying to get the ice-pick out of his head.

--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Comrades,
Their is now a change of tactics, instead of going after the "Presidential Postier"
code identifier will now be "Wallet Kissers". The Pope has a ring, Obama has a wallet to kiss.

GAIA Minister Neytiri,
"assuming they'll meet 72 Naked Neytiris"

What a coincidence! I just happen to have 72 female Avaprogs in inventory. I developed the prototype for Commissarka Pinkie. See:

The Pandorans have been equally equal for quite some time, as I understand.

GAIA Minister Neytiri wrote:...This "Heaven on Earth" concept seems to be well understood by at least some of our Progressive Comrades such as those who make those "Rock the Vote" videos (and MTV videos) offering comparable "Heaven on Earth" incentives for young men willing to vote for Progressives. We're working on it.

This should be no problem to disseminate the "Heaven on Earth" concept for progressive wannabes. "Heaven on Earth" has always been symbolized by the Summer of Love '69™ at Woodstock N.Y. By showing endless loops of documentary movies of drugged out, naked hippies sliding in a mixture of mud, feces and urine while stoned out on LSD always brings back the nostalgia and flashbacks that popular progressive opinion calls "Heaven on Earth".

Or establish more protest rallies on state capitals. Such events also conjure up flashbacks of the filth and stench of communes, free LUV, and equal distribution of other peoples' goods. This is also associated with the "Heaven on Earth" concept.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

BlueCube.jpg

The Pandorans have been equally equal for quite some time, as I understand.

.
The Blue Cube is beautiful-- we had no such Cube on Pandora where we lacked an understanding of the difference between a cube of many colors and a mono-color cube, and when I arrived on Earth, it was my understanding that our Fearless Leader, Obama, had already copyrighted and trademarked the Blue Cube for his own purposes. In fact, I think he plans to use it to do battle against one of the leaders of the Rebellion against the Blue Cube-- i.e., Seven of Nine-Twelve.




Thus, upon assuming my duties as GAIA Minister Neytiri, I learned that just as what once was blue is now red and what once was red is now blue (this happened during the election-return coverage in 2000-- a wise decision made by our friends in our progressive news media to spread confusion among the right-wingers, who had previously thought of Progressives as "reds" and conservatives as "blues.") It was so ubiquituously successful that now there are legions of right-wing websites dutifully accepting such re-classification by the progressive media -- example: RedState.Com. This worked beyond the wildest dreams of our Progressive leaders, who had tired of the "right" always associating us with "reds" or "pinkos." Now they can't disparage "reds" because they now must claim to be "red-staters."
.


Also, in learning that our Fearless Leader had already acquired intellectual property control over the Blue Cube (with such intellectual property belonging to him more equally than others in order to best use it for the benefit of everyone-- a concept Comrade Gore and our progressive media have inculcated in the minds of so many of our youthful voters), I realized that Green is the new Blue. Thus, despite my being Blue, the Cube I serve is the Red Cube here and the Green Cube which periodically materializes over my throne as GAIA.

Comrade Whinny wrote:

GAIA Minister Neytiri wrote:...This "Heaven on Earth" concept seems to be well understood by at least some of our Progressive Comrades such as those who make those "Rock the Vote" videos (and MTV videos) offering comparable "Heaven on Earth" incentives for young men willing to vote for Progressives. We're working on it.

This should be no problem to disseminate the "Heaven on Earth" concept for progressive wannabes. "Heaven on Earth" has always been symbolized by the Summer of Love '69™ at Woodstock N.Y. By showing endless loops of documentary movies of drugged out, naked hippies sliding in a mixture of mud, feces and urine while stoned out on LSD always brings back the nostalgia and flashbacks that popular progressive opinion calls "Heaven on Earth".

Or establish more protest rallies on state capitals. Such events also conjure up flashbacks of the filth and stench of communes, free LUV, and equal distribution of other peoples' goods. This is also associated with the "Heaven on Earth" concept.

.


It seems you correctly perceived the identity of those I addressed as "My fellow latte-drinking, green-limousine-riding, hybrid-jet-flying, brie-cheese eating, carbon-offset-indulgences-buying, Woodstock-loving, free-love loving, peace-loving, GAIA-worshiping, progressive comrades," and that you likewise recognize that just as the new "red" is "blue" (per the dictat of our progressive news media in the election coverage in 2000), Loving GAIA is the new "Woodstock": .

. The sounds of the GAIAn Chants by these devout worshipers of GAIA are haunting.



--GAIA Minister Neytiri