Dateline New York -

Thinking about sneaking a Big Gulp while the mayor isn't looking? Not fond of the NYPD?

Comrades, you might want to be a little more careful in the great state of New York, due to a bill just passed by the New York Senate which will make it a crime to annoy a police officer of the law.

If passed by the Assembly and signed by the governor, you'll want to be sure to always wear your happy face when you see that police cruiser in the neighborhood - it doesn't take much to annoy one of New York's finest!

And about damn time! For far too long we have labored under the tyranny of logic in our laws. This legacy of Dead White European Male oppression has crafted laws that require actual proof of injury, proof of damage being done, proof of some actual objective harm done. Not a one of them ever considered my FEELINGS!

This is bold step, comrades. Now we have a law that is based entirely on the subjective emotional state of the person tasked with enforcing the law. Can you imagine the swift hand of justice demonstrated in the court transcripts?

Prosecuting Attorney: Officer Jackboot, do you have any actual proof that the defendant annoyed you?

Officer Jackboot: Yes. I was leaning against a railing trying to enjoy just a couple of minutes of "me" time with a cup of coffee and a cheese danish when this human pimple--

Defense Attorney: Objection!

Judge: Overruled. Witness is describing his emotional reaction. Witness may continue.

Officer Jackboot: Thanks, Yeronner. Anyway, like I was saying, I was standing there minding my own business when this jerk come staggering up to me with blood running down his face, yelling that he had just been mugged.

Prosecuting Attorney: Were your coffee and danish clearly visible at this time?

Officer Jackboot: I'll say! This sack of dog crap--

Defense Attorney: Objection!!

Judge: Overruled. Proceed with your testimony, officer.

Officer Jackboot: Like I was saying, yeah he had to be able to see it, because he dripped blood on my danish when he staggered too close into my personal space.

Prosecuting Attorney: And you found this annoying?

Officer Jackboot: Yes. Alls I was trying to do was eat my danish in peace and this weasel--

Defense Attorney: OBJECTION!

Officer Jackboot (pointing at Defense Attorney): Y'know pal, you're starting to annoy me....

Can't we get a law like that for Obama? He's got a tough job to do too and every day it seems people are taking up his time by annoying him. It's criminal.

Unless of course, your happy face is deemed annoying ....

Comrades, you might want to be a little more careful in the great state of New York, due to a bill just passed by the New York Senate which will make it a crime to annoy a police officer of the law.

But surely, there must be an amendment protecting the rights of Occupy heroes when they choose to defecate on a squad car.

Officer! Officer! That man just stole my purse! Please, don't delay!

He is dressed in dark pants and a white shirt with a dark trench coat over his arm, hiding my purse.

Please hurry or you'll lose him! He can duck and hide anywhere here in NYC in seconds!

Please, get out of your squad car and pursue him on foot otherwise you'll lose him!

I tried to follow him on foot but I ran out of breath. I am recovering from surgery I received two weeks ago. Please help!

Officer says, "You know, Ma'am, I'm sorry for your loss but, you are beginning to annoy me. You are under arrest!"

You have the right to remain silent, etc……..(We recommend the silent part)