COMRADES!


In light of the Current Truth™ of the latest events of currentness, Corporeal Whinny decided it was time for a long hibernating hiatus. Through the inspiring words of Ceasar O'bama, "FORWARD(exclamation point)™", Whinny obeyed and proceeded to his dacha — a cozy cave of no importance — to do his part by sleeping off the nightmare for The People™. His last words were, "Wake me up when it's over(!)". Indeed.

I, Sugar Daddy Bear, in concurrence to the need to reach out and connect with the wants and desires of the 47% sloth class, in a concerted effort to reach across the aisle to heal this broke broken country, and to hasten the era of the New Normal™, will shovel the Path to the Utopian Paradise that awaits us all in Free Spandex™.

I vow to help Mr. Boner see that the charge of being "Too White" is really a metaphorical reference of a dog's belly when its in a position of appeasement and surrender, rather than the showing of teeth in agression. I'm sure he already understands.

I will continue to serve The People™ as long as it doesn't cost me anything, and as long as I have someone else's credit card to charge the tab.

Gone is the longing for The Progressive World Of Next Tuesday™ as all our dreams have now been realized and have come true(!)

The O-nly thing left to do is:

You are the Brezhnev to Corporeal's Khrushchev and we welcome you.

But in the name of the Party and its sheeple I must protest your moniker! To label yourself with such an ugly, gender specific name as “daddy” is old fashioned and bourgeois! What about families with two mommies, mommies who are daddies and daddies who are mommies, families with no daddy at all, and those with ever changing daddies?

And don't even get me started on “sugar” and the oppression of the proletariat that grows it!

Comrade Morda,

I appreciate your oversensitivity regarding my moniker and what it might cause the proles to presume. Since I'm not really a "daddy" in the sense of being a family-oriented, patriarchal figure of tradition, you can view me as your personal "Santa Claws™" rewarding the undeserving with trinkets and shiny objects of temporal value in order to nefariously gain something more permanent in the long term, which is a Spandex-clad Peoples Utopia.

To calm your beating heart regarding how "daddy" will affect those corporeal units (formerly called "families") that have two or more of the same gender, or a mixture of dog, cat and parakeet and the same gender, just pretend there are two of me side by side. That should quell any emotional storms.

And we all know what "Sugar" is anywho: It's the stuff that attracts the flies.

Oooooh you smooth talking mass-opiate … I'm so glad there are now two of you (Party says there are, so there are).

And a Happy Hibernation to CW! I am confident the beshovelled one left instructions to have the Sugar Daddy Bear moniker appropriately submitted in quadruplicate to each of the several governing approval agencies for stamping and forwarding around to the other several governing approval agencies for further stamping and approval and that it was deemed an Approved Phrase™ moniker, and not to be confused with prohibited individual terms like "sugar" or "daddy," which would require appropriate Approved Substututed Terms™ like "broccoli" and "parental unit." Clearly, "Broccoli Parental Unit Bear" would not be understood to reflect the ideals of the New World Order™

Comrade Marx,

I'm sure the name "Sugar Daddy" is a universally acceptable moniker being that it has been cleared by such "minorities", and other O'bama worshippers, as the Gangsta Rap community, JayZ, .50¢, Snoop Dogg-eat-Dogg, Kanye West, P-diddlydo, Lady Doo Doo, Sixpaq Shakur, Will-I-Aint, M&M, Bigot Smalls and Richard Simmons.

Comrade Bear, may I be among the first to welcome you to TheCube™? Since it's likely to be 50-100 years until the end of Corporeal Whinny's hibernation (assuming, of course, that his cave isn't nuked at some point by our friends from the Religion of Peace), it's good that he found you to stand in for him.

Having once played in a band whose lead singer's stage name was Sugar Bear, I feel like I know you already. And as for those who are worried about the "Daddy" portion of your name, while I think you have appropriately and adequately deflected their concerns, may I point out that Papabama uses a similar moniker (at least to Himself) as He looks down His nose at us, His children?

Happy shoveling, O Bear One!

Comrade ROCK,

I thank you for your welcome. Incidentally, I like to hit things, like old tree trunks, pots and pans and pie tins, to make rhythmic patterns, too, with my shovel. Some proles call it "drumming", but I call it "relieving my frustrations". From one fellow musician to another, I tip my hat to you, sir.

Rest assured that Papabama is of no relation to me. I'm just a messenger of the virtues and high honor of collecting OPM. Some may call it "The Big Government Teet", but I call it "social justice".

Comrade Bear, ya gotta spread the wealth around! And hitting things (or people, if they're racists) is just part of the Great Redistribution.

Rock on!

Hmm… Sugar Daddy Bear. Is that handle perhaps chosen in an effort to get closer to 0ur Santa Claus Caesar 0'Leader, The Candy Man?

Just reassure me it has nothing to do with a combination of 0ur Caesar and Spandex.

Comrade Redum,

It is a response to the epiphany I had for Dear Leader's™ resounding Second Coming. I cannot possibly "out-candy" the Original™, but I only serve the Collective™ as a fuzzy, brown reminder of why he's loved so much by the New Plantation Class™.

Comrade, I have to learn to love Spandex™ just as much as the next lazy, uniformed O-bot does. The Ceasar™ requires it.

Ah, that is reassuring, Comrade Daddy.

It is indeed an 0blessing to know that we will be comfortably hugged by our Spandex™ 0bamaforms as we toil gloriously in the 0bamanation Plantation beet fields!