Infidel Castrate reporting for the State Run Media. August 24, 2009.

FCC Chief Diversity Officer announces new TV network.

President Obama's newly appointed FCC Chief Diversity Officer Mark Lloyd has announced the creation of the the Community Re-education And Propaganda (CRAP) Network.

Mr. Lloyd has indicated that the new network is being created in response to the monopoly of the Reich Wing cable news outlets and stated that President Obama believes that the new CRAP network will allow competition and keep the "cable chatter" honest.

State Run Media has obtained exclusive information about three of the primetime programs premiering this fall.

Chicago Hope and Change

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Fear Factor

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The Hollyweird Squares

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The CRAP Network will begin launch September 1, 2009 and will be available on Satellite, Cable, and will also be transmitted to tinfoil hats everywhere.

Comrade Castrate, your manipulation of abject horror is to be applauded. While scrolling down, I instantly progressed from mild revulsion to spontaneous purging of my sushi dinner. Such an unspeakable progression would break any prisoner, even the toughest special forces that I have trained. Your third hollyweird squares proposal is the only thing in the universe scarier than Barney in a bathtub!

Great Leader, where is that glorious Beet thing you give out? I beeelieve we have a winner!

Comrades,

It is a shame Cabrini Green has been torn down, for it would have been the ultimate proletarian setting. Not only could it have shown the world the wonders of Communism, it could have added the excitement of drive-bys, break-ins, and actual actor shootings that would have kept the ratings on par with The One's.

Thank goodness nobody is fooled by those bogus polls showing falling popularity. I just turn them 180° to see the Current Truth.

Just a moment. . . I need to adjust my tin-foil hat. . .
There we go. I can hear in on some of the shows. They are running tests and such. . .

"Welcome back to the Price is Obama's!". . . No, not that one. . .

"We now return to the Bold and Equal". . . I keep getting daytime stations. One moment, I need to turn a little more to the West.

"Tonight on the OOR (Obama's Operation Room) (scrambled message) an elderly woman goes to (scrambled) and later, see a young tri-star athlete break his leg, then get it repaired by (scrambled)".

I'm afraid that's all I can get for now folks, I'll try again later.

Gosh, Camille Paglia recently lamented what she called "the drift of my party toward a soulless collectivism" but this CRAP.... Personally, I find it so inspiring: the nihilistic banality of the totalitarian collective, the empty faux jocularity of officially designated jesters, the mind-numbing repetitive chanting of the zombie-like messengers of the cult. Oooh, it feels so good to be a cog in the machine of state! I can't wait until CRAP begins broadcasting 5-hour Obama speeches which we will all listen to while standing at attention. HOPE! CHANGE! HOPE! CHANGE! HOPE!.....

Thank Stalin: Comrade we will have 24 hour re-education. will be just like a Jiffy Lobo with out leaving the arm chair..

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:Comrades,

It is a shame Cabrini Green has been torn down, for it would have been the ultimate proletarian setting. Not only could it have shown the world the wonders of Communism, it could have added the excitement of drive-bys, break-ins, and actual actor shootings that would have kept the ratings on par with The One's.

Thank goodness nobody is fooled by those bogus polls showing falling popularity. I just turn them 180° to see the Current Truth.

Yes, such as shame they shut down Cabrini Green, such an icon of government efficiency and progress. They could have used it like Universal Studios in Hollywood ... use it as a filming location with all the various film sets, then allow it to also be a theme park. Unlike Universal Studios, the tourists could come there and experience real progressive activities.

No "simulated" experiences like Universal Studios "Back to the Future" exhibit, they could go there and really get raped, robbed, and murdered, think of the possibilities.

Commissar_Elliott wrote:"Welcome back to the Price is Obama's!"

Comrade Elliott,
The signal doesn't reach me here. Doesn't each episode of The Price is 0bama's end with "This is Bob Barker's clone reminding you to spay and neuter yourselves and loved ones"?

Comrade Infidel Castrate,
There's always hope that the stimulus package will resurrect it! The people need their bread and circuses, which is what Cabrini Green was, in a way.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Comrade Castrate, your manipulation of abject horror is to be applauded. While scrolling down, I instantly progressed from mild revulsion to spontaneous purging of my sushi dinner. Such an unspeakable progression would break any prisoner, even the toughest special forces that I have trained. Your third hollyweird squares proposal is the only thing in the universe scarier than Barney in a bathtub!

Great Leader, where is that glorious Beet thing you give out? I beeelieve we have a winner!

For your kind words I shall petition the CRAP network to produce a series in your honor, "Spritz the Cat".

Based on the "adventures" of the previous Governor of the Peoples Republic of New York. Perhaps an animated cartoon series. Seems he likes a little pussy felines.

I hear there is a new show called: "Leave it to Charlie, the Horse's Ass" starring Comrade Charlie Gibbs as "Charlie, the Horse's Ass, Cleaver" Comrade Hillary Clinton as his big sister "Hildy Cleaver," Rahm Emmanuel as "Eddy Rahm Haskell," Comrade Joe Biden as "Mr. Cleaver," and Comrade Nanski Peloski as "Mrs. Cleaver."

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:

Commissar_Elliott wrote:"Welcome back to the Price is Obama's!"

Comrade Elliott,
The signal doesn't reach me here. Doesn't each episode of The Price is 0bama's end with "This is Bob Barker's clone reminding you to spay and neuter yourselves and loved ones"?

Well since there is cloning, then yes, he would say that. I just happen to catch the beginning of it.

(off)
If that were the case, I think I saw Aldus Huxley do a back flip in his grave.