Comrades! What a wonderful time we live in! Just tonight I was blessed to discover yet another way that our beloved Obama, PBUH, is single handedly bringing recovery to this country after it came close to complete destruction due to the incompetence and evil plans of the Bush-Haliburton cabal! How you ask? One letter at a time Comrades!

Behind the scenes, out of the spotlight, Comrade Obama has been rescuing citizens in need by writing them letters, which of course are of immense value!

For instance, take the story of Comrade Destiny (what an appropriate name for one who has experienced Change from the Obama himself). Destiny, a mother of three, sent a letter to Obama to encourage him in the face of the unrelenting lies of the rethuglican criminals regarding his alleged mishandling of the economy and unemployment. The Obama was moved in his mercy, and replied with a letter of his own and "called her a “positive spirit” and said that he was “rooting for her.”

As we know comrades, rooting for someone, while wonderful and uplifting, just won't keep the capitalist money grubbers from demanding payments! So she did what any smart investor would do, she put it up this letter, one of her most prized possessions, for sale. Current asking price is $11,000.

But she is not alone! More letters are out there, and are also being put on the market and rescuing their owners!

Unemployed Indiana Mom to Sell Obama Letter to Help Pay Bills

So, as you can see, recovery is right around the corner comrades! Just as soon as Obama can write you your very own letter.

Granted comrades, Change is slow, and let's face it, shovel ready is not as shovel ready as we had thought. At the current rate, it will take Obama approximately 245,162 years to get around to all the comrades that have been hurt in this economy by Bush. But not to worry Comrades, for as it happens, I have a rather substantial supply of authentic Obama letters that I will be more than happy to sell for a reasonable price. Now if I were you, I would get in as quickly as you can, for as you know, the more letters that get on the market, the value of the letter will go down. Just one of those Capitalist Curses that seem to inflict us still.

The awesome wisdom of dear leader only increases in wisdom and awe... he issues a piece of paper, it has monetary value, he is producing his own currency! Who needs jobs anyway? The economics is simple, healthcare and pensions can be paid for with a grocery list! Defense might require a handwritten set of speech notes, but the very Signature of His O'liness can solve our financial concerns and eliminate debt!

If I wrote a letter to Obama every day, and he responded to each one, and then I turned around and sold his replies at $11,000 a crack, then by my calculations, I would rake in $4,015,000.00 per year!!!

Wow! I'm gonna be rich! I'm gonna be faaaaaaa-bulously wealthy!

Yes, I know just what you're thinking now, Pupovich, but don't worry. As soon as Obama reforms the tax code, ends those onerous Bush tax cuts and raises taxes on the wealthy, I'll be more than happy to do my patriotic duty and pay my fair share.

But until that glorious day arrives . . . Cayman Islands, here I come!

Wow, this is faster than printing money. If our Dear Leader could just focus on writing letters and doing nothing else, then we can soon retire our national debt.

We should abolish the 2-term limit and elect him President for Life!

Marshal Pupovich wrote:I have a rather substantial supply of authentic Obama letters that I will be more than happy to sell for a reasonable price.

My Our collective's shipment of a 10-Pack of Authentic Original Obama Letters has just arrived! I trust the six truckloads of beets, the box of shovels, and the 2012! banner are acceptable remuneration.

One small item: All ten of these Original Letters appear to be identical. And doesn't Commissar Obama sign his last name with only one "m"?

In the olden days, one could buy indulgences. I for one always thought that I'd buy an indulgence for forgery.

But the glory of the Made Prog is that it's just not needed.

Pupvich, I'm so glad that you told me about this. I am now retraining my proles to make letters from Obozo, PBUH, which I shall sell on sBay. That's the socialist eBay, where all the credit-card numbers and bank accounts are tapped, little by little, each day, for "resources" for the People's Projects.

The way to boil a frog is to put him in warm water and turn up the heat bit by bit. By the time that I finish, there won't be a fat bank account or empty credit card on earth.

Pinkie, if you get rich, you will spoil your delightful, uh, aura, yes, that's it, aura. We love and esteem you for your ability to toil in the potato and beet trenches from can to can't, digging with your shovel to further the People's Projects.

If you get rich by fraud, that's one step away from the Prog that we love and adore.

Now if you get rich by stealing OPM by force, then you'll be competing with Comrade Nanski Peloski.

Does she look good to you? She looks like a deer in the headlights. But if could be that some of the carbon-fiber holding her face together succumbed to the pressure and has let go. Soon she will look like a wedding cake left in the rain, but as long as we can hear her sweet caw extolling the virtues of irresponsibility, larceny, and just plain psychotic insanity, we shall be happy.

Apparatchik Unkulturny wrote: One small item: All ten of these Original Letters appear to be identical. And doesn't Commissar Obama sign his last name with only one "m"?

Comrade Unkulturny, I was as shocked and dismayed as you to discover that those first orders of Obama mail had indeed been signed Obamma. I of course made some discreet inquires and what do you think I found? Praise be to the Obama (PBUH)! He told me that he intentionally signed them in that manner for the first production line so that they would be worth even more! Who can know the depths and riches of Obama? But future letters will be signed with only one m.

As to the message returned by the Obama all being the same....is not our Hope all the same? Is not Change good for one and all? Please don't expect the Obama to treat some better or different than others Comrade.

BTW, I have received too many orders being paid in beets and broken shovel heads. From now on comrades, I must insist on more fungible payments.

There's only one tiny little problem to all this. Where did this welfare queen baby momma get this entrepreneurial capitalist idea to try to make a profit on The One's letter? They don't teach this sort of rubbish in the CPS. So again I ask: where did this welfare queen baby momma get this idea from?

And where did she get this "Hope™" from thinking there's some stoopid fool one out there that actually has $11K to waste on this worthless piece of fancy toilet paper signed with an autopen? Does she really believe there are people out there who actually have "jobs" and discretionary capital to spend willy-nilly on such pablum? This is so un-prog-ish that it's sickening. The stench of capitalism wreaks in this one, comrades, and I'm not lovin' it.