Michelle Obama Does Letterman's Top 10 With ‘Fun Facts About Gardening'

Those of you who did as you were instructed and tuned their telescreens to the Hate Show last Tuesday night were treated to our national vision of lovliness, First Lady Michelle Obama (or "Michelle O" as our independent media likes to call her, not trying to remind anyone of Jackie O at all) discussing her favorite pastime, taxpayer-funded vacations at luxury hotels gardening. The Dear Lady presented Ten Fun Facts about Gardening in her inimitable style which reminds most viewers of a former first lady from half a century ago. For those of you who missed it (pack your shovels and be ready for your own taxpayer-funded vacation at the Gulag) here they are: (Source: Mediate)

10. Any money found while gardening probably fell out of mail intended for Barack's campaign and should be returned immediately.

9. No one can garden successfully on their own; state help is always required.

8. In Chicago, digging in garden is called "voter outreach."

7. I enjoy gardening as much as Anna Wintour and Sarah Jessica Parker will enjoy hearing your reasons for supporting Barack Obama over dinner.

6. Gardening is a green job, just ask my husband.

5. The Muslims invented gardening as well as Algebra and the Space Shuttle.

4. The GOP is conducting a War on Gardening by refusing to pay for Sandra Fluke's seeds.

3. Barack goes to so many fundraisers because they're a lot like gardening: covering dim bulbs in bullsh*t with hopes of raising a cash crop.

2. Gardening is one job that really is shovel-ready.

And the number ONE Fun fact about gardening....

1. If plants fail to grow, it's because of a weed known as the george w. bush!

I couldn't pass this opportunity to honor our FLAT FLOTUS

It warms my heart to see that FLATUS is a participating member of Planned Gardenhood.

No one should be have to be punished with a garden.

Comrades,
Is it not supposed to be : First Lady of/Above The United States?
FLOATUS?

If I am in error, I will punish myself.