Global Warming Denier's Yearly Statement on Groundhog Day


Today, a world-famous Amerikkkan animal once again denied the undeniable truth of global warning - a truth declared by every real scientist - and claimed that we are in for six more weeks of winter.
Reich wing propaganda media outlets stated that a so-called Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow - probably a Teabagger trick generated by combustion engines - and then returned to his lavish 1-percenter home and went back to sleep.
Algore™ was unavailable for a statement; rumors are that he, FLATUS, and flabulous film maker Michael Moore were seen chowing down on a strange mix of lobster, tacos, and corn dogs on Martha's Vineyard.


Now that the explanation is clear to all, there will be no further questions.


Punxsutawney Phil: "I don't see Obama's shadow."

- Obama: How long until the Progressive World of Next Tuesday?
- Phil: Next Tuesday.
- Phil: How come I do all the work but you and Al Gore make all the money????
- Phil: And I should know you from where?
- Obama: Hey Phil, don't lock the door on your hole, I may be following you down.
- Phil: Where the f^%& is all that global warming I keep hearing about?
- Obama: HAVE YOU NOT RECIEVED THE UPDATED, REWRITTEN MEMO FROM 2 YEARS AGO?! It is no longer "global warming" but climate change, which can be changed and fit anything & any weather conditions and pre-conditions. Please rethink your thinking... Carry on.
- Obama: The weather is not the climate during those months that have an "r" in their name. The rest of the year any spell of hot weather proves Global Climate Change.
What's the difference between Obama and a groundhog?
- One is a smelly varmint and the other has fur.
- When they find themselves in a hole, one never stops digging and the other lives there.
- One makes his living by scavenging and scamming other animals and the other has a tail.
- One is full of s**t and the other s**ts when he's full.
- One is a rodent and the other is a rat.
Now, how are Obama and a groundhog the same?
- Neither of them wrote their autobiographies.
- WTF = Win the Future. I say, win the here and now and the future will take care of itself.
- "WTF" should be a required addition to the New Prog Lexicon of Acronyms™ - as prescribed by Dear Leader.
- One must be most cautious in who one quotes. Some of us are more quotable than others... we just haven't figured out yet who those people are.








Tovarichi
I believe this rodent has a promising future in service to Comrade Michael Moore. I think possibly deep-fried, with a light cream gravy, mixed veggies and a medium sized sweet potato...And a nice Chianti!


Pamalinsky
Tovarichi
I believe this rodent has a promising future in service to Comrade Michael Moore. I think possibly deep-fried, with a light cream gravy, mixed veggies and a medium sized sweet potato...And a nice Chianti!
Not to be picky, Pamalinsky, but we ARE talking about Michael Moore here.
I'm thinking a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.








COFFEE HURTS
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 8-year-old
grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?"
He said "It's President's Day!"
He is a smart kid. So, I asked "What does President's Day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.
He replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have one more year of unemployment."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!!!

