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Hamas Peace Rockets filled with Candy

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BREAKING NEWS!

Today, while playing golf conducting critical peace negotiations between Hamas and Israel, Obama was assured by Hamas that none of their rockets contain high explosives and are simply filled with candy and rainbows for Israeli school children. He strongly condemned the Israelis for their provocative behavior and suggested that they reciprocate the Hamas gesture by giving them the Western Wall and moving the entire Israeli population back to their concentration camps countries of origin in 1944. Helen Thomas and Jimmy Carter were said to be in agreement.

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True Comrade,

HAMAS is nothing but a group of sweeties just like Al Queda that have been vilified by a hostile kapitolissst controlled media!!!!!! It is lucky that the word is finally getting out about what a bunch of nice guys they really are.


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Peace rockets full of candy? That's so much better than the N. Korean torpedo of peace that was loaded with beets. Where can I get me some?

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Indeed, Hamas was just showing their love and appreciation for school children by showering them with candy. Why I understand they are going to make perfume bombers next. Step into the middle of a crowded plaza, and then detonate a vest full of sweet smelling perfume to give the air a pleasant scent.

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I'm SO glad that Dear Leader, The ONE, Obama-hu Akbar, has assured us that Hamas missles are only filled with candy! I'm breathing a BIG "sigh" of relief right now. "PHEW!"

I was under the impression those missles might be filled with bad things like explosives... or even poisonous gas or chemicals! Good Stalin's ghost! But if Dear Leader says it, then the earth shakes, the mountains move, the clouds part in the sky and the sea levels lower.

Let it be written—so shall it be done!

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Comrades,

The explanation is m ore than adequate when you consider the medievil mail delivery system in the entire middle east. The banging sensation that goes along with the rockets is only a sensory locator to it will be easier for the children to find the candy.

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Comrades, these photos were sent to me by a sweet elderly Palestinian man who loves both the Palestinian children and the Israeli children (in spite of their many flaws). The photos show beyond a shadow of a doubt what's really going on in the Middle East.

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In this first photo, we see Palestinian children in Gaza carrying their candy-filled missile, which they've lovingly prepared for the juice children, to its launching area.


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And here we see the evil juice military men preparing to shoot down the candy filled missiles with their totalitarian "Iron Dome" system in order to prevent them from reaching the juice children and showering them with the sweet love prepared by the children in Gaza.

Is it any wonder that there is no peace in the middle east, comrades??

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Comrades,

While I am totally in support of such progressive generosity, and above-and-beyond displays of compassion and good will, being exercised by HAMAS, I can't help but wonder where MOO-chelle is with all this High Fructose corn syrup being launched at Israel?

Was it not our Dear MOO-chelle—Obesity Czarina™ and Nanny Of All Things Edible™—that taught us the proper diets we should be participating in? Has there been any word what MOO-chelle thinks about these random acts of kindness on the part of HAMAS? Or is she OK with it because some of the shooters are Barackkk's cousins... or half-brothers/sisters... or maybe good friends with Jeremiah Wrong, and they are exempt (Junk Food Waiver™) from the scrutiny and wrath of the High Priestess of Homogenization?

I'm just askin'...

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Poisoning children with candy that is not Halal or Kosher? Oy...

Here kid, the first one is free...you know you want it....

Use caution young comrades, Is pack of M&M's worth eternity of misery ? Snickers is starter candy, soon it doesn't give the same effect and you need Hershey bar with Almonds. That wears off, the Almond Joy comes out and before you know it, you have a stick of rock candy in your mouth and you are a fat drooling idiot in the gutter, just like in Amerika.

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Comrade Tovarichi,

Now you got me thinking *oooh oooh OUCH!!!* that this entire Candy-in-the-missle™ stuff is even MORE dangerous than sending over explosives! How nefarious and utterly dastardly! At least one knows what to expect when an explosive-filled missle goes off, but one filled with... candy?!!

This is torture! This is worse than torture! This is even WORSE than Abu-Grabby! Not even Bushitler would stoop this low!!!

And comrade... to assign this outcome with a comparison to Amerikan children is—reallyjust beyond the pale!!!

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ImageImage Comrades, this is an act of terror that not even TSA can prevent. Only beneficiary of Candy rockets is people's Akademy of DENTISTRY SCHOOLING. Such horrors of warfare...

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Comrade Tovarichi,

Is this the fate that awaits the Israelis??? Please... tell me it isn't so!!! Afterall, we CARE ABOUT THE CHILDREN™!!!

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Yes, comrades - we care about ALL children, and some (like the Palestinian children) more equally than others.

This whole missile controversy is becoming too much for me - how does one decide? While we progressives seek only to support what is Right, Good for the Common Person, and Benevolently Equal, how can we control what others may do? For this we need Iron Fist, not Iron Dome!!

Sometimes I wonder if there are enough shovels in whole world to ever bring True Peace™.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Indeed, Hamas was just showing their love and appreciation for school children by showering them with candy.


Comrade Whinny, I am an old soldier, now a humble shoveler of beets, and puller of weeds. I do not make policy, I execute it. I feel for The Children™ If this is how Hamas shows love and appreciation for school children, that is their way. In my travels with our Arabian comrades, I have learned that what is said often has a meaning completely to the opposite. Candy for the Children! Agricultural Subsidies in Afghanistan (more poppy fields).

It is much like listening to campaign speeches by Obama republikkan politicians...


 
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