After last week's shooting in Tucson, I have been adrift. “Why,” I beat my breast, which is not fetching, “did that lunatic shoot a Democrat? Every D is a half trillion dollars siphoned from the pockets of the useful.”

A cough reminded me to add, “If he's a good Democrat.” You may think that I have taken in a houseguest but ever since I've started making Bruno budget his lipstick, he's gotten to be good with numbers. And as soon as unemployment benefits are decreased, people find jobs. I hate reality, because it empowers people, and power to the people is the last thing a prog wants.

(By Stalin's Ghost. We must do everything possible to keep people from knowing that responsibility is a fraternal twin with power. If they learn that, they wouldn't need us to enslave them.)

Lord Obama flew to Tucson and delivered himself of a great speech. He mentioned the lives of the people who were shot, and the original speech was tried and found to be so TelePrompTer-intensive that they brought in generator trucks. Then he pulled the finest masterstroke I've ever seen of a Master Prog.

“We came in and visited…with Gabby. And her husband lets me tell you this.

“After we left, she opened her eyes for the first time.” The crowd cheered, as it should, and they ought to have cheered more than for any speech that Fidel gave, although not if they had read Wikipedia's hagiography of Castro, which ends with, “Castro wouldn't piss up Mother Teresa's ass."

There is no way that this cannot be good news. Perhaps Gabby did open her eyes after she felt the soothing beneficence of Dear O'Leader. Perhaps some mere petite fonctionnaire wanted to impress on Lord O his magnificence and made a story to soothe a brow troubled by all those hard-to-get tables that he couldn't get before and can now.

Or perhaps it's true. Well, a blind prog pig sometimes gets an ACORN.

Praise be to The One! May we all live to bask in His Glory. Bless you Father Prog for sharing this inspiring tale with us.

J.R.R. Tolkien was korrect when he said "The hands of a king are the hands of a healer." When we give the sheeplegreat collective this news, we will no longer have to worry about reactionary "re-election"

We did good tonight, kids. We did good. The president couldn't have been any more presidential than he was tonight. What grace, what poise -- a true natural, that man. He brought the country together, and the party? Well, we made bank from Wellstone 2.0 commemorative t-shirt and concession stand sales. And hey, we smeared some rube in Alaska named Sarah Palin. Suck it, middle America. Suck it hard.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote: “We came in and visited…with Gabby. And her husband lets me tell you this. “After we left, she opened her eyes for the first time.” The crowd cheered,.

IT'S A MIRACLE!

Behold, the awesome super power of telepathy the Messiah commands as he wasn't even in the room!

https://www.politico.com/news/stories/0111/47533.html

All Praise & Glory Be Unto The One!

I thought the pep rally was most exciting. Dearest Leader had at least 52...54 applause. And he was able to shake the hand of sheriff Dupniksky and no doubt, congratulation him on pointing the finger elsewhere (do we not know he learned this from the One ™ ?!)
It was a successful rally and no doubt the Rethuglians will be forced to heap praise upon dear Leader or made to be hatemongers. I love when a plan works out!

I'm thinking Rep Giffords opened her eyes, saw who was in the room with her and had a moment's thought of; "Wow, I died and went to the bad place"

and Saint Nanski was in the room:


I'm feeling faint............................

Hey did everyone get their free T-shirt?

I suspect this will be the rallying cry to re-elect Obama in 2012.

Comrades,.


We have to stop the carnage of Democrats shooting other Democrats! We will run out of Democrats long before we run out of a ammunition.

The law should be amended so that only opposite party shootings occur at any frequency.

Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrades,.

We have to stop the carnage of Democrats shooting other Democrats! We will run out of Democrats long before we run out of a ammunition.

The law should be amended so that only opposite party shootings occur at any frequency.

You have made a most asute and thoughtful thought, loyal comrade prole. You should advance far in the Party™ . A house killing itself, cannot advance... or is divided..... or whatever.

I DID NOT RECEIVE MY FREE GOVERNMENT OBAMA 2012 TSHIRT!! I demand to be treated equality with those lousy Union workers!

Beavis wrote:

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:I DID NOT RECEIVE MY FREE GOVERNMENT OBAMA 2012 TSHIRT!! I demand to be treated equality with those lousy Union workers!

As you are not glorified union worker nor unemployed kollege student with time on hands to wait overnight for seat to see glorious leader, you must submit the Peoples Form 1GS576S. After filling it out, please have local party kommisar stamp goldenrod copy, then return all forms to home office.


Your shirt should arrive in spring... 2013.

Comrade Fraulein,


Appreciations for your remarks. Comrade Beavis did not reveal the whole truth. The Spring of 2013 is the very earlisest date possible for that event, the actual receipt of merchandise. You are instructed not to hold breathe waiting.

Comrade Beavis, you have been so helpful. I retrieved the 1GS576S form from the oval filing system and got it completed in just under 6 hr. (you can imagine my delight that it went so quickly). I am now attempting to revive my local party kommisar (he was in attendance via TV feed of the Obama 2012 Pep Rally last night and was just a wee intoxicated, but after a pot of coffee and 2 cold showers, he is starting to become conscious). I am excited to be receiving this glorious Party Tshirt in time for the 2016 election!

Beavis wrote:Glorious leader has already kicked off 2012 campaign by rallying the kollege kids. His new slogan is fitting, eh komrades?

obama2012.jpg

Comrade Beavis,

That shirt is quite fitting. I would only suggest a choice to fill that 'O': A blue 'D' democrat logo, or The One's traditional 'O' logo—just so we know who's makin' us go broke.

Comrades,

I am most perplexed that dear Leader's T-shirts are no brown. Why, any self-respecting prog wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything but a brown shirt for Chrystalnacht would they?

Kim Jung Be Praised! This proves beyond doubt that Dear Leader knew what he was doing with healthcare reform and that it will be a great success!

I'd also like to take this chance to offer for trade an authentic vial of dear leader's spit. It was his drool mixed with dirt rubbed in Gabby's eyes that brought her back from the brink! From him all good things flow!

I'll accept two pairs of Levi's straight cut jeans, 34x34's or a small herd of milk producing goats in return.

INGSOC, a vial of Dear O'Leader's spit? Did he expectorate directly into the phial? I cannot believe that he would stoop so low as to spit directly onto someone. He won't even pee on the ground lest he anoint it.

He pees into a jug and the Nobel Committee drinks it, without a chaser, and which pleases them both, and me too, since I don't have to have it on the carpet any more.

And to all my prog brethren: just why do you think that you're deserving of tee-shirts? Why do you think you're deserving of anything? Well, there's the fact that you're all made progs and are owed everything, but is there a single thing in the true virtue of any of us, or in Washington, which lends force to the idea that we really are the Great and the Good?

Not a damned thing. Nothing whatsoever. I'm mean, nasty, venal, and vituperative. I spend as much time as necessary carrying out senseless, bloody bureaucratic turf wars.

I'm the least productive person on the planet.

Which is why I'm Father Prog.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:And to all my prog brethren: just why do you think that you're deserving of tee-shirts? Why do you think you're deserving of anything?

Dear Father Prog,

It isn't that we 'deserve' the T-shirts; or anything for that matter, but it is the symbolism of offering free advertising for The Healer.

Just as in the Great Depression when men wore sammich sandwich boards for 5¢ a day working for the MAN—just for a stale piece of bread and some moldy cheese—so it is for us, the next generation of waifs in the Greater Depression™, who would "give the T-shirt off our backs", so to say, just to touch the very fringe of the Hartmarx of... The One™.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:INGSOC, a vial of Dear O'Leader's spit? Did he expectorate directly into the phial? I cannot believe that he would stoop so low as to spit directly onto someone. He won't even pee on the ground lest he anoint it.

He pees into a jug and the Nobel Committee drinks it, without a chaser, and which pleases them both, and me too, since I don't have to have it on the carpet any more.

I was able to collect half of it here;



And the other half here;


It is pure... I assure you, and well worth two pairs of amerikkan jeans or 4 to 5 nubian she-goats.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:After last week's shooting in Tucson, I have been adrift. “Why,” I beat my breast, which is not fetching, “did that lunatic shoot a Democrat? Every D is a half trillion dollars siphoned from the pockets of the useful.”

Father Prog, this is PROOF that the lunatic was a Rethuglican Tea-Partier disguised as a lunatic, which is really not much of a disguise at all. If he were a Democrat, he would not have shot at another Democrat (for the same reason the old joke said sharks don't eat lawyers - professional courtesy) but if he was a Democrat who did shoot at another Democrat, he would have missed because Democrats are no good with guns. Now, if he were just a plain-old garden-variety lunatic as some of the media (the ones who did not get the memo) suggested, then that means he was a Rethuglican because Sheriff Dropkick, who is an expert on these matters, told us that all Rethuglicans are lunatics. So there, I have proven with geometric logic - pardon my language - that this person must have been a Rethuglican.

My argument is so good, it is worthy of Comrade Krugman. In fact, I think I read it in his column.

Comrade Father Prog,

I haven't felt this kind of communion with Dear Leader since Denver when he stood among all of those dazed and glazed over eyes at Invesco Field. And wasn't Sheryl Crow there, singing, too?

Dear Leader's ability to open eyes is as wondrous as his ability to open wallets. And don't we need that, now.

Really, I did hope that he would say something like: "Can't we all get along?"

Speaking of incivility, I received a MarXmas card from a fellow progressive that stated this (among all the bragging about her communist university professor daughter). Little did I know when I received that card, that the word incivility would become a ubiquitous tool of projection (as in Freudian projection) through shame and guilt.

"In these days of uncertainty and rancor and incivility among our leaders, we are grateful for non-profit work that is meaningful, progressive friends who hate laugh at Sarah Palin as much as we do, and we wish for peace in Palestine, and higher taxes."

Opiate, I have no idea WTF you are talking about. I'm so proud of you.

INGSOC, let me suggest that you collect fingernail parings and sell them as being from The One™. Toenail parings, it doesn't matter. Gobbets of dried sputum, dingleberries--now there's an idea. Sell Lord O's dingleberries to the NYT brethren.

Just think of Paul Krugman playing tumble bug with a piece of O'shit.

Leninka, do not let the cat out of the bag about the projection--I recall how our Dear Many Titted Empress perfected that. She complained about the "politics of personal destruction" just before it was going to come out that she was engaged in it up to her ham hocks. And that's NOT a pretty sight.

We don't squeal on successful tools of oppression. Hell, I'm denying that the Soviets even had guns or bombs.

Father Prog Theocritus,
As Spiritual Adviser I cannot help thinking the events of the past week have amounted to no less than a Progressive version of the Rapture. Dear Leader actually demonstrated to the World that he is The One. I'm thinking this will go down in history as the time the great healing began. Maybe: Progressive Rapture = Prapture or something like that to commemorate this time of Progressive Miracles? Ex; The Day of Prapture was upon us and we beheld the Greatness of His Work.

Rasputin, so much of my news is gathered from listening to the enemies at Faux on XM while I drive from dacha to dacha to flog the proles who are unreliable Democrat voters. And while I drive, I always take my trusty Nikon point-and-shoot camera, for perusing the tombstones and the county clerk's death-certificate records to increase the rolls of the necro-proxy voters. After all, I live in Texas, which must become true blue.

I fucking hate independent people.

Oh. Sorry. I had a Katie Couric moment. Complete and total self-absorbed idiocy. I'm back now. I'm still self-absorbed and I apologize to Katie for considering myself in her league. After all, she is the unit of measurement for feces in that South Park episode. I could never hope to be a measurement for turds like her.

And for great healing. I think so too. It looks like the perfect con, doesn't it?

But here's the question that inquiring minds want to know: Did Tucson have enough electrical power for the TelePrompTers?