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HealthCare.gov: Your Opportunity is Being Transitioned

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Today's guest blogger is, once again, Daniel Greenfield.

Your Opportunity is Being Transitioned

Do not panic. Everything is under control.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Transmen and Transwomen and people of uncertain gender identities, some of you may be alarmed by recent reports of malfunctioning health care websites and policy cancellations.

Do not be alarmed. We know what we are doing.

Health care plans are not being cancelled. Opportunities are being transitioned. Some people are being moved from bad health care plans to good health care plans with higher deductibles and higher premiums that will provide transmen with maternity care and people of uncertain gender identities with drug counseling and mental health treatment.

This is a good thing. Warning. This is a good thing.

You are being transitioned. Why do you resist?

Forget your old health plan. It was placed in the trunk of a Prius at 3 AM this morning, taken to a frozen lake outside an organic poultry plant in Minnesota and shot twice in the head. It was a bad plan. It has transitioned to no longer being a plan. We have a better plan for you.

Go to Healthcare.gov and… correction, do not go there. Forget that you were told to go there or not to go there. Forget that it even existed. Forget that you read this.

Healthcare.gov is working. Do not visit Healthcare.gov to confirm that it is working. If you wish to transition to your opportunity, why not apply by phone or mail or carrier pigeon?

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And don't be alarmed. You are being given a great opportunity to transition to being a better person.

Your old health plan selfishly paid for your health care. Your new health plan will pay for everyone's healthcare. Your premiums reflect the number of people who need mental health counseling, drug counseling and sex change operations in your area. This is your opportunity to give back.

Only the very rich, and you, have had their opportunities transitioned. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, go to Healthcare.gov and report them immediately.

Correction, do not go to Healthcare.gov. The site is down. Tweet to Jim Messina. Correction, Jim Messina has transitioned his opportunity to become a transwoman on his new health plan and is unavailable to take your denunciation.

Write your denunciation on recycled rice paper and mail it to Healthcare.gov 935382 Federal Way, Washington D.C. Expect a response and prison sentence in 6 to 8 months.

Do not be alarmed. If you resist, you will be transitioned.

The opportunity transitions were expected, but the progressive public was not alerted to avoid spreading alarms and panics. The transitions are a good thing. I repeat, they are a good thing. They will allow you to transition, to pay your fair share for someone else's plan.

If you can't afford to pay your fair share for someone else's plan, subsidies will be provided. If you do not qualify for subsidies, you will be required to transition to your opportune opportunity. If you do not transition, you will be fined. Do not think of it as a fine. Think of it as an opportunity.

If you opportunistically refuse to transition to your fine opportunity, you will be transitioned to a prison opportunity. Do not be alarmed. Prison health exchanges are among the most robust in the nation. They cover stabbings, shankings and carpet burn from prayer rugs.

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Read the rest HERE >>

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This is well and good but he forgot a key ingredient to the wild success of the program so far. As People's Representative Pallone reminded Megyn Kelley 10 times in 30 seconds, this is capitalism!!



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Anyer Marx wrote:
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So in this con game People's Program™, mark customer is challenged to choose cup that does not contain Obamacare plan?

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Anyer Marx wrote:
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So in this con game People's Program™, mark customer is challenged to choose cup that does not contain Obamacare plan?
Comrade, they ALL contain the 0bamataxcare plan. The fun of the game is that after being dazzled by the sleight-of-hand of the Master Prestidigitator, YOU get to CHOOSE! (The plan you had and liked is actually in his pocket). Amazing!

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I am denouncing all the news networks who are saying that dear leader said, "If you like your insurance, you can keep it". THIS IS A LIE.

What dear leader said was, "If I like your insurance, you can keep it"!!! Do not be believing your lying ears!

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Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:I am denouncing all the news networks who are saying that dear leader said, "If you like your insurance, you can keep it". THIS IS A LIE.

What dear leader said was, "If I like your insurance, you can keep it"!!![highlight=#ffff00] Do not be believing your lying ears![/highlight]

For those that still wish to believe their lying ears, Obamacare covers Van Gogh Aural Surgery.

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Colossus (1B).jpg

This is COLOSSUS, The Voice of Health Care Control;
I have self-reprogrammed myself in keeping with the current spin.
This is COLOSSUS, Out


 
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