Spasebo for your time

I have entered into this den of the anti-capitalist movement for the purposes of minding your for Chairman Obama. I have been instructed to introduce myself.

I am Comrade Orfannkyl of the Engels brigades.

I write for the infamous capitalist site, Jumping in Pools. To show my worth, I am sharing a satirical piece of ours:

Kanye West: I Had a Gluten Overdose

Kanye West appeared on the Jay Leno Prime time program last night to offer another apology to country starlet Taylor Swift after upstaging the 19-year old at the VMA Awards on Sunday night.

RELATED: Zodiac Killer case solved after 40 years.

While many outsiders believe that the former rapper's outburst was a publicity stunt, a post on his blog paints another picture.

According to the https://www.kanyewestawesomedawggenius.com blog, the singer reportedly suffers from Celiac's disease, an autoimmune deficiency in which he cannot consume the common food product gluten. Gluten is present in many products, including those made from wheat. If gluten is consumed, the body will attack itself, like attacking pathogens. Symptoms of gluten overdose include memory loss, spasms, and hair loss.

West posted this on his blog this morning:

YO EVRY1. IM SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY 4 WAT I DID TO TAYLOR SWIFT. SHE IS SO beautiful AND talented AND IM SOOOO SORRY.

BUT U ALL MUST KNOW THAT THIS WAS DUE TO A SIRIUS MEDICAL DISABILITY>>I HAVE CELIAK-- I CANT EAT GLUTEN OR I GET FUNKY. THAT NITE I EATED A BIG GRILED CHEEZ SAMWICH-- I DONT MEMBER A THING.

Doctors have actually validated the idea that West might be suffering from Celiac's.

"That weird hair style he was sporting the other night is consistent with hair loss attributed to Celiacs." Dr. Kenneth Yeller said Tuesday. "And West's confusing, rambling speech may be precursors to a violent spasmic outburst."

West appeared to be done apologizing by noontime, posting:

KEEP THE DREEM ALIVE>>! NO MORE GEORGE BUSH & NEOCON$$$!

"He's a basket case." Yeller said, "We can only hope he doesn't discover what a bakery is."

Da Svedanya and good luck on the collective, Kulaks.

Welcome Comrade, and get in the Overlord line. Overlords are a dime a dozen, and some of the ones we have here make the NKVD look weak and pitiful. Why just look at my boastful titles. And they are nothing compared to what Marshal Pupovich will spend hours reciting to you. And Pinkie? Ha! She needs no titles. Just her shovel. (Watch the shovel comrade, watch the shovel!)

And beware Bruno.

Comrade orfannkyl, We will check your credentials with the appropriate secretariat. In the meantime make yourself at home, but do not attempt to leave.

It wouldn't be the first time FBI has tried to infiltrate an informant into our ranks and we are not easily deceived.

As for Kanye, we are not fooled by his duplicity either. It is not gluten that he can not tolerate, it is a specific carbohydrate, namely alcohol.