Comrades! Although AmeriKKKa has not come to it yet -- the government can only make or break financial health of a citizen -- things are moving into the glorious direction and we should be thinking about the future.

Whether it is the IRS, who are already in charge of enforcing compliance with Obamacare, or some other death panel Independent Payment Advisory Board that will decide, that a particular patient's care is no longer cost-efficient, how will they be notifying them? We, as the dutiful Party-members, should have the words and the answers ready ahead of time...

Let's all collaborate on this important document. I'll start:

Dear Mr. Doe!

It is with deep sorrow and personal regret that I have to inform you, that upon the review of your life support system in accordance with XIXIXIXX section C part Y, it was determined, that the ongoing cost of the care outweigh the benefits. As a result, the assisted breathing/feeding tube (circle all that apply) will be turned off at 11:59pm EST, _mm/_dd/_yy . Please, notify your next of kin promptly to make arrangements for your body and personal belongings to be removed from the hospital no later than noon the following day to make room for the next patient awaiting care.

Sincerely yours,
Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary
Department of Health and Human Services

That KKKonservatives will be subject to such reviews 50% more often than Liberals will, of course, be sheer coincidence. Or, may be, the work of a few rogue employees (inherited, no doubt, from a previous Administration).

Dear Ms Doe:

We regret to inform you that your federal health benefits will cease NextTuesday™, immediately prior to the surgery you have scheduled.

This Cessation of Benefits (COB) is for the better good of the country and has nothing to do with the Tea Party rallies you attended on June 19, 2011 and April 15, 2012.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary
Department of Health and Human Services

The Case for Killing Granny:

· Tea Party membership · Calling into Rush Limbaugh show · Forwarding chain mails with Obama and Pelosi cartoons · Saying "gun" over the phone · Frequenting Breitbart.com · Posting pictures on ThePeoplesCube.com

And, may I add, ...voting in the Coolest SOB contest.

"Dear Mr./Mrs./Miss/Senior/Other/?,

We regret to inform you that _________________ has died.

You may recover body no. __________ at _____. Charges may apply.

Thank you,

___________________"


I don't understand why there would be need for any other notice, form, or information. No one that is going to die needs the emotional burden of that knowledge.

Comrade Otis wrote: We regret to inform you that _________________ has died.

Good point... But should not it be "will die on or before _____"? I mean, why incur unnecessary delays -- as soon as the "review" took place, the next of kin should be notified the soonest...

mi wrote:Good point... But should not it be "will die on or before _____"? I mean, why incur unnecessary delays -- as soon as the "review" took place, the next of kin should be notified the soonest...

In light of your thoughts on this conundrum, I submit to the committee my opinion that the sentence on the form be:

"We regret to inform you that _______________ has died / will die on or before __________."

It is my opinion that this would cover all bases and give the health care provider all the options for the patient necessary. Choice, it's the spice of life.

Comrades, what is this "... pick up the body ..." stuff? Whatever is left after the party organs are harvested (transfer of "ownership" being a condition of treatment and may occur before or after actual "death") will go straigt to the ovens. Beets need fertilizer too. And, no notice is needed. Being a collective, what is known to one is known to those who need to know. Remaining family units will simply be reassigned. Simple! FORWARD!

Surely you mean the compost heap! Oven use must be restricted to final preparation of the most delectible portions. Their use for disposal of the unwanted bits is so pre-global warming awareness!

Dear Applicant,

Your recent submission of form HHS-10:233a,zz has been reviewed and your request for portable breathing apparatus denied. You may appeal our decision by contacting Ms. Smith, Acting Assistant Secretary for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, or the Administrator of Health Resources and Services at the office of Diagnostic Affairs and Research, at The Department of Appeals and Sentencing and by submitting a formal request, in triplicate, notarized by the Assistant to the Secretary of Planning and Evaluation at NASA Headquarters. Please see attached chart for further instructions.

NOTE: Please return your empty oxygen bottle upon receipt of this letter to avoid possible fines and imprisonment. Failure to do so in a timely manner may disqualify you and your next of kin for consideration of subsidized burial cost reimbursement.

Your health is important to us. We care for you and your family. Please feel free to call us for assistance on any future health matters when necessary.

K.S.

Anyer Marx, that is a very good point. This is why committee decisions are so important. Groupthink-tanks find the answers.

My very first inclination before anyone made comment was to simply take the patient and everyone connected to the patient in any way out back and shoot them.

Comrade, bullets are hard to come by these days.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Comrade, bullets are hard to come by these days.

There, you see. My point on committee groupthink-tanks proved in one short comment. I could've thoughtlessly wasted valuable bullets if not for hashing things out in committee.

Comrade Otis,

So glad you showed up. Haven't seen you in quite some time.

I agree with you regarding this most serious matter.

Let's cut to the damn chase!

Kill the patient and anyone connected to that person. That way, we don't have to employ a "cleaner." Such a waste of the taxpayers money!

If you get my drift. (I'm sure you do)

Bullets are easily found at the DHS as demonstrated by their unprecedented buys.

Don't forget, comrades, the symbol of Liberty, Equality, and Fraternity from the enlightened France. It's environmentally friendly, saves people's resources, and doesn't use any non-renewable fossil fuels.


The next best option is wind-turbine-powered electric chair, since the solar-powered electric chairs promised by Solyndra were never delivered.


If all fails, we will always have the shovel...

Pamalinsky wrote:Kill the patient and anyone connected to that person.

The patient may be spent, but his relations may well still be shovel-capable (if not outright shovel-ready). I submit, that killing them would be a waste of both bullets and hands...

mi wrote:

Pamalinsky wrote:Kill the patient and anyone connected to that person.

The patient may be spent, but his relations may well still be shovel-capable (if not outright shovel-ready). I submit, that killing them would be a waste of both bullets and hands...

Not if they can expose what actually happened to that patient. That, of course would make them most shovel ready.