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Hillary Needs Your Help!


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Wow... this is tough! Once again, I'm throwing out Sarah McLachlan's Sweet Surrender as a pick. I feel this song sums up the Party's position on Iraq and Western Civilization as a whole.

Sarah McLachlan wrote: It doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home

And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

You take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
(who are you?)
are you an angel?
am I already that gone?
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here
on my knees
(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

(who are you?)
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

And I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall

I miss the little things
I miss everything *about you*

It doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I left behind me
is a cold room

(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

Indeed! It doesn't mean much, it doesn't mean anything at all! Who needs Amerika anyways!? And yes, the freedom fighters will indeed "strip away the ugliness" from us ugly Amerikans. They're angels! Angels sent by Mohammad himself!

Oh, how about some New Order? I mean, Her Excellency will usher in the new order, won't she? How about Bizzare Love Triangle, because, well, everytime I see her poll numbers falling I get down on my knees and pray to Stalin!


New Order wrote:
"Bizarre Love Triangle"

Every time i think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Yes, I'm waiting for the moment that Her Excellency will say the words that I can't say! Speaking of bizzare love triangles; whatever happened to Monica?

If none of the above works, I'm sure Her Excellency can always opt to use an SS march for her campaign.

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Devil With a Blue Dress On

Black Magic Woman

Eve of Destruction

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All good choices, Chairman. But as an old Beatles fan I can't help but think of this song where Hillary keeps saying hello when everybody in chorus tell her goodbye.

The Beatles For Hillary wrote:Hello, Goodbye

<Hillary's voice singing:>
You say yes, I say no.
You say stop and I say go go go, oh no.
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello! hello!
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello
Hello! hello!
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

I say high, you say low.
You say why and I say I don't know, oh no.
You say goodbye and I say hello!

[and so on ad nauseum]

Perhaps we could also somehow incorporate Nancy's song here, "Strange Kind Of Woman" by Deep Purple?

Blackmore/gillan/glover/lord/paice wrote:Strange Kind Of Woman

There once was a woman
A strange kind of woman
The kind that gets written down in history
Her name was Nancy
Her face was nothing fancy
She left a trail of happiness and misery
...

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How about "No woman, no cry?"

Bob Marley For Hillary wrote:No woman, no cry

Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in trenchtown,
Oba - obaserving the ypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet.
Good friends we have, oh, good friends weve lost
Along the way.
In this great future, you cant forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh.

No woman, no cry;
No woman, no cry.
ere, little darlin, dont shed no tears:
No woman, no cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when-a we used to sit
In the government yard in trenchtown.
And then Georgie would make the fire lights,
As it was logwood burnin through the nights.
...
[etc...]

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Here's my vote, I went to her majesty's website and looked at the list of songs that they already had. After listening to a couple, one title really stuck out for me because I feel that this song title truly reflects our parties policy on the war - “Ready to Run" by Dixie Chicks

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How about Clones by Ash?

Now you're a clone,
With heart of stone,
Synthetic soul,
Brainwashed and cold.
You're just a clone,
Got no control,
Forced in a mold,
Processed and sold.

Hey, you know I find it frightening,
How you change just as fast as lightning.

You fell from grace,
Leaving no trace,
You've been replaced,
Your name erased.

Hey, it's your self-destruction,
You never listened to my instruction.

Shame, shame, shame, shame.

Shame, that everyone's the same.
I thought you stood alone,
Different from the clones.

You were a flash of light,
A meteorite,
Unique in time,
Now out of sight.
For I have seen,
Like everything,
I've had a dream,
A prophecy.

Hey, now there's no use waiting,
Everything is disintegrating.

Shame, that everyone's the same.
I thought you stood alone.
We're different from the clones.
I thought you were the truth.
Exception to the rules.
But the truth is cruel.

Clones, clones, clones, clones.

Clones, clones, clones, clones.

Hey, now there's no use waiting,
Everything is disintegrating.

Shame, that everyone's the same.
I thought you stood alone.
Different from the clones.
I thought you were the truth.
Exception to the rules.
But the truth is cruel

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I don't know why but I can picture Hillary going from city to city in a wiener-mobile, singing:

Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer wiener
that is what I'd truly like to be
'cause if I was an Oscar Myer wiener
everyone would be in love with me!

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Or maybe her theme song could be the Imperial March by Rage Against the Machine....

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I've spoken with HRC and she's a Cliff Richard fan. She swears he wrote this especially for her:

Ive had nothing but bad luck
Since the day I saw the cat at my door
So I came into you sweet lady
Answering your mystical call
Crystal ball on the table
Showing the future,the past
Same cat with them evil eyes
And I knew itwas a spell she cast

Shes just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you
Shes just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you from behind

Give me the ring on your finger
Let me see the lines on your hand
I can see me a tall dark stranger
Giving you what you hadnt planned
I drank the potion she offered me
I found myself on the floor
Then I looked into those big green eyes
And I wondered what Id come there for

Shes just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you
Shes just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you from behind

If youre out on a moonlit night
Be careful of them neighbourhood strays
Of a lady with long black hair
Tryin to win you with her feminine ways
Crystal ball on the table
Showing the future,the past
Same cat with them evil eyes
Youd better get out of there fast

Shes just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you
Shes just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you...

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[quote="Bill "Buckcherry" Clinton"]

Break me down, you got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud, getting fuckin' laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make my way

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Take it off, the paper is your game
You jump in bed with fame
Another one night paid in full, uh
You're so fine, it won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Get the video
Fuck you so good
Get the video
Fuck you so good

Crazy bitch
Crazy bitch
Crazy...bitch

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back, come on

Baby girl
You want it all
To be a star
You'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy
But I like the way you fuck me

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
You keep me right on

You're crazy
But I like the way you fuck me
[/quote]

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Margaret wrote:Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer wiener
that is what I'd truly like to be
'cause if I was an Oscar Myer wiener
everyone would be in love with me!

I can see that too, noble Margaret, but I wonder if after a while her true colors would show:

Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer wiener
that is what I'd truly like to be
'cause if I was an Oscar Myer wiener
I'd be the biggest prick on the face of the planet and fuck everyone all day and all night until there no one could sit down and I'd put sand in the vaseline and I'd

Fuck all day, fuck all night
Fuck every single one in sight

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mr. Theocritus, you've finally made me laugh.

That's the trouble with people like Hillary though, isn't it. Like in Team America. You've got your pussies, you've got your assholes, and you've got your pricks. Wasn't Kim Jong il a prick too?

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Margie wrote:Wasn't Kim Jong il a prick too?

No, he was ronery. Oh so ronery.

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I don't know if he was a plick or an asswhore. All those hair-dos look alike to me.


 
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