Following multiple comparisons of Target's recent $10 billion stock crash to the Hindenburg disaster, our editors asked a renown necromancer and psychic worker, Miss Courvoisier, to channel the voice of Herbert Morrison, a radio announcer best known for his dramatic report of the tragic crash of Hindenburg airship in 1937.

Miss Courvoisier, who works the astral from noon to 8pm from her boardwalk psychic booth next to a liquor store on Coney Island, happily agreed, as she has done in the past. For a 20 dollar bill with the face of Harriet Tubman on it, she quickly recorded Morrison's voice with a built-in mic on her boombox.

"It was easy," she said. "The astral is a lonely place, so the dead often wish to make contact with the living regardless of their views on transgender bathrooms. This video with Herb Morrison's Hindenburg reporting also helped."

Below is the transcript of the audiotape.

HERB MORRISON: Target practically standing still now - they've dropped ropes from corporate offices; and they've been taken a hold of down on the field by a number of men, women, and transgendered restroom visitors. The media coverage had slacked up a little bit… The marked-down prices on rainbow flags are holding Target just enough to keep it from…

Target's stock has fallen 20 percent - from $84 per share to $67 per share! It's burst into flames and it's falling, it's crashing! Watch it! Watch it! Get out of the way! It's crashing terrible! Oh, my! Get out of the way, please! It's burning and bursting into flames and the… and it's falling on the board of directors. And all the shoppers agree that this is terrible; this is the one of the worst catastrophes in the world.

Target has just lost $10 billion of the overall shareholder value! It's a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. It's smoke, and it's in flames now; and the stock is crashing to the ground, not quite to the corporate headquarters. Oh, the humanity! And all the investors screaming around here. Ah! It's… it… it's a… ah! I… I can't talk, ladies and gentlemen.

Honest, it's just laying there, a mass of smoking wreckage, and everybody can hardly breathe and talk… I'm sorry. Honest, I can hardly breathe. I'm going to step inside where I cannot see it. Listen folks, I'm going to have to stop for a minute, because I've lost my voice… This is the worst thing I've ever witnessed.

In summary, just as the Hindenburg disaster ended the era of airships, Target's tragic demise brought an abrupt end to the era of political correctness in the corporate world, which had already begun a decline into obsolescence, largely due to the reckless rhetoric of Donald Trump on his way to America's highest office.

My Our Entire Beet-Kollecktiv voted UNANIMOUSLY! to stage a sit-in at the snack-bar of the local Target in order to use the restrooms as Intense "Captive" Centers For Spreading The World Of Next Tuesday™ !

Alas, since we have previously voted UNANIMOUSLY to Shun All Products Of The Global Capitalist Assault Against Social Justice, Indigenous Peoples, And World Peace™, we are thereby prohibited from purchasing any merchandise from the store...

Ha! We here at Target just stuck a needle in the balloon of our abundant clientele. We just want to see what they do next. (Silly public people)

This is really caused by Climate Change. Don't believe me? Ask the CEO.

Comrade Navigator -

Congratulations - your story is now on the Mother Page!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems to be your first Mother Page entry. Considering that you've been with the People's Cube for many years, this calls for a lifetime achievement award!

Thank you Comrade Red Square!
Ah ha! Trick question.
Comrade Red Square never needs correcting!
My lifetime achievement is limited to not soiling my undergarments reading The People's Cube.

My contribution is only happy accident…. Just like Hilary and Bernie running for office. Cheese and crackers everybody!

Comrade Navigator, you are right on Target.

WASHINGTON DC- His last year will be the largest and most forceful year as he brings great change to the USA. President Obama after a few weeks of forcing federally funded public schools to accept transgenders into their restrooms, a new order comes from the white house. Obama declares that nonhuman persons need to use the lavatories as well.

Animals do not get the same treatment as humans. They left exposed outside to micturate without any privacy. They do not have a place of their own to relieve themselves without people watching. It is anti-animalistic and zooaphobic to not give them the space they need.

The collective is creating bathrooms fit for all persons. We do not discriminate against anyone. The state gives reserved bathrooms to the more equal others so they can continue the state's agenda. We are coming closer to Next Tuesday.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Animals do not get the same treatment as humans.

If an 800 pound gorilla had fallen into four year old enclosure he still would've been shot.

“Sometimes is simply doesn't pay to the the 800 pound gorilla in the room.”
~ Michelle Obama

New video footage of Harambe shows the 400-pound gorilla HOLDING HANDS with the boy who fell into exhibition moat as zoo director insists they were right to shoot him and the barriers were safe