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History of The Future Under ObamaCare

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I used my psycho psychic vision to see the future if ObamaCare passes:

January 2010: President-for-Life Barack Obama signs a historic Healtcare Reform Bill which is virtually identical to the House version written by Nancy Pelosi. The centerpiece is the so-called "government option" which everyone will have to join if they either do not currently have private insurance or lose their existing private coverage. Everyone in the country is covered. Costs will now be controlled. The budget will now be balanced. The economy will now grow at a 5% annual rate for the forseeable future. Housing prices will rise back to their 2006 levels. Progressives in and out of Congress as well as most MSM journalists have spontaneous orgasms. Most normal Americans are visibly sickened.

March 2010: American companies, desperate to cut costs in the age of Obamanomics, drop health coverage for their employees in droves, forcing said employees into the government plan.

April 2010: The last private US health insurce company, Mutual of Istanbul, goes out of business. All Americans now rely on Washington for their health care.

June 2010: Due to startup problems and unexpectedly heavy demand (see "Cash for Clunkers" problems) thousands of Americans are forced to queue up and wait for treatment. Many patients pass on while waiting in line, thus helping to thin the queues a bit.

July 2010: With the system problems and confusion increasing rather than abating, desperate Americans who are able to begin seeking treatment in Canada or Mexico. And Poland.... and Zambia. And Tunisia.

August 2010: Stating that things are going better than expected with the new health care system, President-for-Life Obama leaves Washington for a month's vacation.

January 2011: The one year anniversary of the Obamacare system finds its acutal costs a few billion or so over what was projected. By a "few billion" I mean approximately 6 or 7... Hundred. Billion.

March 2011: In an effort to help hold costs down, government adjusters are told to reject treatment for any chronic illness for anyone over the age of 80. Large numbers of "REJECTED" rubber stamps are ordered. Some bureaucrats go too far and order end-of-life counselling for patients with hemorroids, apparently confusing that relatively mild condition with hepatitis. Press Secy Gibbs muses that "more training for adjusters may be needed."

April 2011: Responding to media criticism, the Obama Administration denies it is denying treatment to patients over 80.

June 2011: The number of Americans employed as faith healers reaches a record high.

August 2011: Eric Holder, now chairman and CEO of Bristol-Merck-Pfizer (the one remaining American pharmaceutical company) addressing the question as to why no new drugs have been forthcoming from the company in the last 2 1/2 years, says "So what's the big deal? It's not like anybody's creating new diseases, either." Obama declares Holder's one billion dollar annual salary as "justified" and then leaves for a month's vacation.

October 2011: With aspirin in short supply, prices on the black market hit $10 per pill.

December 2011: The population of Americans over 80 has dropped percipitously for some unknown reason.

January 2012: The two year anniversary of the Obamacare system finds its acutal costs a few trillion or so over what was projected. By a "few trillion" I mean approximately 6 or 7... Trillion.

March 2012: In an effort to help hold costs down, government adjusters are told to reject treatment for any chronic illness for anyone over the age of 70. This move will also help out the Social Security program which is also near bankruptcy.

April 2012: Still thriving nearly 4 years after being dianosed with brain cancer, Sen. Ted Kennedy credits Obamacare as the reason he has survived for so long. Accompanied by his family and entourage, Sen. Kennedy departs Washington headed for the Swiss Alps and another round of life-saving treatment and a little skiing.

May 2012: In an effort to help hold costs down, government adjusters are told to reject treatment for any chronic illness for anyone over the age of 60. Due to a lack of doctors, ill people are given permission to prescribe drugs for themselves. And to make them at home, if at all possible.

June 2012: Responding to criticism and a few minor riots, the Obama Administration denies that patients are being denied care for anything and insist everything is going swimmingly with the national health insurance program. Barney Frank calls protestors at a town hall meeting "morons" just before they keel over and die.

August 2012: Thousands of Americans succumb to a bizarre epidemic of malaria. Obama declares the new health insurance program to be a success before leaving for a month's vacation prior to the formality of his re-election.

September 2012: Citing an ongoing shortage of basic medical supplies, Americans are now urged to save and reuse dirty needles. Drug addicts can turn them in and get a cash reward at their local Obamacare clinic.

October 2012: A group of third-world nations band together and offer to send a hospital ship loaded with medical supplies to New York City to help deal with the chronic shortages there. Obama, on the campaign trail, calls the offer ridiculous, says things are going smoothly and welcomes Sen. Kennedy back from Switzerland.

November 2012: As the only name on the ballot, President-for-Life Obama is re-elected with 90% of the vote. The landslide victory is attributed to the popularity of his national health care plan plus the tendency of the deceased to vote Democratic. This latter voting group has increased dramatically since the beginning of Obamacare in January 2010.

January 2013: The three year anniversary of the Obamacare system finds its acutal costs quite a bit over what was originally projected. By "quite a bit" I mean 99% of all federal revenues are now devoted to healthcare. The remaining money is used to throw a lavish ball in honor of Obama's 2nd term inauguration.

March 2013: With no money left in the treasury, the country is now defended by one regiment of Obama supporters armed with rusty "Hope and Change" buttons. America's creditors march in unopposed and demand change back from their dollars. Sen. Kennedy and his entourage leave permanently for Switzerland. Other members of Congress head for countries where they have squirrelled gold and valuable artworks away. Obama heads for Kenya to begin community organizing efforts there. As predicted by Russian academic Igor Panarin, the US is broken up. Alaska reverts to Russian control. California will lead the western states in becoming part of China. Texas will lead a cluster of states that will unite with Mexico. A group of eastern states join the European Union while a group of northern states join up with Canada. Nobody wants Chicago which instead declares itself an open city and changes its name to "Alinskyville."

Change we can believe in!

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Obama was true to his word, though. There were no death panels and illegal aliens didn't get health care.<P><img src="https://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz2 ... orry-1.jpg">

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Comrades,

Since all their cities have been reduced to villages, North Korea is now a suitable source of guidance for Hillary's famous "It takes a village" thing. I say, "It takes a village to get your juche on!" DIY for free and if you make a mistake, or have to appropriate materials outside official channels, that's what neighbors are for.

My only question: What are the projected figures for "light-workers" in relation to this new policy?

Sorry, a second but related question: After seeing Star Wars, I talked a parent into buying me a light sabre. Does that qualify me for work as a "light-worker"?

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Comrade_Tovarich wrote:I say, "It takes a village to get your juche on!"

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The scary part is what would happen if this actually came true, and by this, I mean every single word of it. Obama leaves for vacation, Ted leaves for Switzerland, and so on.

He's said it once, and I will say it again for him

"Government isn't the solution to the problem, government is the problem"
-Ronald Reagan.

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Commisar_Elliot:

I like a better quote from Reagan.

A communist is someone who reads Marx and Lenin. An anti-communist is someone who understands Marx and Lenin.

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Comrades, Obama has recently said that he doesn't care if he's a one term President. First of all, he already is, like it or not. The next 3 years will be spent as a lame duck.

But I don't believe Obama intends to be run out of office after only one term. Most of his radical proposals wouldn't even take effect until 2013. Surely he knows that any incoming Republican would immediately revoke these socialist schemes before they even took effect. Obama isn't doing all this for nothing.

He must surely intend to serve a second, maybe a third or fourth term, Constitution be damned. If ACORN can incite race riots come 2012, Obama may have the pretext to declare martial law, suspend elections and simply squat in the oval office indefinitely.

Anyway, as a loyal Party member, that's my wet dream come true.

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Comrade Red Square,

Regarding juche, touche!

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Comrades,

This is a blessing in disguise. By forcing us exploitative American-Americans to seek health care elsewhere so we can make sure we don't lost our spaces in the ration lines, we'll do wonders for neighboring countries who will grow health care markets to cater to us, as Cuba already has done. Imagine: Haiti moving on up together with the Dominican Republic.

Need a hip replacement? Can't swim to Cuba? Get a big ol' tractor/combine inner-tube, a slab of bottled water, and float over.

Comrade 0bama is older than I so he surely remembers that old Coca-Cola ad, when he wasn't snowblind, using the song "I'd like to teach the world to sing." Or was it "beg" or "moan" or "sting" (euthanize)?

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Well... Ted won't be coming back from Switzerland. We need to amend this future truth.

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INGSOC wrote:Well... Ted won't be coming back from Switzerland. We need to amend this future truth.

Aaah, Comrade INGSOC, remember this future truth is based on ObamaCare coming to pass in 2009/2010.

Like Lazarus, Ted will be coming back if ObamaCare becomes reality. It will be another parallel between Obama and that messiah guy. And, it's another reason why the Party must make ObamaCare happen. It's for the children, and Ted.

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Stalin for Time wrote:Image

Commisar_Elliot:

I like a better quote from Reagan.

A communist is someone who reads Marx and Lenin. An anti-communist is someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
I don't think it's better under these circumstances, but as a generalization, it is true when you think about it.

On the same note, has anyone seen Obama with KM's Communist Manifesto? I haven't but it would be ironic.

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Opiate of the People wrote:
INGSOC wrote:Well... Ted won't be coming back from Switzerland. We need to amend this future truth.

Aaah, Comrade INGSOC, remember this future truth is based on ObamaCare coming to pass in 2009/2010.

Like Lazarus, Ted will be coming back if ObamaCare becomes reality. It will be another parallel between Obama and that messiah guy. And, it's another reason why the Party must make ObamaCare happen. It's for the children, and Ted.
Holy holy holy! Obama be praised. If you ask me though, Ted is just taking a nap for a little while. Perhaps it's like King Aurthur, he isn't dead, he is merely sleeping, and he will arise when England needs him the most.
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As I was searching google for a photo, I came across this one.
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They have so much in common. Obama walks on water and Ted uses it as a mixer.

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Opiate of the People wrote:They have so much in common. Obama walks on water and Ted uses it as a mixer.
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and dumping ground!

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You know, maybe Ted isn't really dead. Who, after all, has actually seen the body and had the chance to poke it and prick it and hold a mirror under his nose?

How do we know he really hasn't been spirited away to Switzerland, his death faked so as to motivate all to pass his lifelong dream of single-payer universal health care with public "option" for all?

And then, once it's passed, he'll miraculously come back to life (c'mon, they do it in soap operas all the time), and we can all have a good laugh about it. BUT--at least, having thought we lost him forever, we'll have learned to appreciate him AND his magnificent agenda all the more!

Wouldn't that be glorious, comrades?

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Comrade Pinkie,

Oh, yes. Maybe Teddy is just getting himself refurbished in a privately run state of the art health facility. After all, he really ought to have the best care on the planet.

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Leninka wrote:Comrade Pinkie,

Oh, yes. Maybe Teddy is just getting himself refurbished in a privately run state of the art health facility. After all, he really ought to have the best care on the planet.

Comrade Leninka,

Please read your latest edition of the newspeak dictionary. Under phrases, "State of the art" is a nonphrase that has been replaced by "ART OF THE STATE". I don't expect you to make this mistake again.

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Comrade Ingsoc,

This is good news! Things are progressing much faster than I thought. I had no idea. Thank you for correctly indoctrinating re-educating me.

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"Art of the State" makes sense. I've never figured out what "state of the art" is supposed to mean. Or "the best of both worlds."

Or why I can't have cake AND eat it, too. What's the point of having cake if I can't eat it? What the hell else am I supposed to do with it?

Oh never mind, I think I get it now. It's sort of like, "You can't have your money and keep it, too. Or save it. Or spend it however you please."

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Commissarka,

The nonphrase "State of the Art" intended the current zenith of innovation in a given arena. As you noted it was worthless and confusing lingustic bloat.

"Art of the State" on the other hand confirms the truth that all arenas belong to the State and because the State is perfect so are they.

INGSOC


 
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