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Hot Steamy Lube Job

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What were you all thinking?
Oh no, more porn spam, right?
I deleted another one this morning.

Well, this ain't porn, but I'd be hot and steamy if this happened to me:
https://mfile.akamai.com/12924/wmv/vod. ... 3.200k.asx

I bet Jiffy Lube is somehow tied to the DNC.

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Oh, you mean you wanted a NEW fuel filter.

The people at Jiffy Lube have all the makings of DNC politicians but they need training on how to properly deny everything and foist responsibility on somebody else.

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Remind me never to have the Hydra serviced there, besides I know they don't carry the 60-W required for the specs.

On the other hand though, I got to get the district manager, Steven Ayoob, on my campaign staff. That man is a go-getter, up-and-coming, and has competent political director and press officer written all over him. Hell, I might even fire Craig and make Steve the head of security if I can find Craig.

H08

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This porn we are seeing is a disgrace! The People should look to the Party for satisfying all their urges except for procreation. We need little Communists. That cannot be avoided, unpleasant as it is. Furthermore, porn represents gross inequality. Where are the ugly people? Fat people? Old people? Children? All types of people should be represented equally in porn. That is the will of the Party!

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Where are the ugly people? Fat people? Old people? Children?

I remember a while ago when they had everything from gay and lesbian to child porn, and bestiality. Those were dark times. My delete button still bears the mark.

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Kommissar Vodkov wrote: Where are the ugly people? Fat people? Old people?

You are forgetting about Ron Jeremy.

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Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

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This may be what Hot Steamy Lube Job means when a mechanic works on your car without doing anything to it (except for what the DNA test can reveal).

Mechanic: I have sex with cars

But can it really be called cheating?

The journalists in Laika's link got good mileage from marking their oil filters, but had they done DNA tests on their cars, I bet the report could be much more sensational...

The Sun wrote:MECHANIC Chris Donald loves his work — he has sex with CARS.

And he admitted last night: “Some men like boobs and bums, but I much prefer curvy bodywork.”

Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors.

He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years — plus two motorboats and a pal's JETSKI.

Chris, who DOES have a girlfriend, confessed: “A nice car for me is a feast for the senses. It's about smells, feelings and tastes. If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I'd love to jump into bed with it.”

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Yeck. Messy seats. Don't sit in one of those cars.

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Hmm, Auto-Erotica. This idiot might be on to something, comrades. I feel that Autosexuals like Mr. Donald are victims of an abrasive society that will not open their minds up to the prospect of him marrying his auto (or autos). Yes, it's time we allow Mr. Donald to walk down the aisle (or road) with his auto and join them in holy matrimony.

MARRIAGES FOR AUTOSEXUALS, NOW!

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While on the subject of Hot, Stinky, Steamy Lube Jobs, I think (in all *my* wisdom) Goracle da' III and Paris Hilton would make beautiful children together. Mmm, I like that idea! Lupe, get me on the phone with that Chinese matchmaker broad so I can make this happen, I'm sure my poll numbers would go up a notch if I can get these two together. Oh, get me some more hefty bags too, my breast are leaking again.

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Nancy wrote:...get me some more hefty bags too, my breast are leaking again.

That's NOT what's leaking, Nancsky. Time for you to change your Depends™ diaper.

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Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev

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Awwaaah hell, I think you're right, Zammy! Hmm, a hefty bag can't handle that leak, not with this gapping hole below my belt. Let me see, maybe a huge cork will suffice? No, too costly. Hmm, maybe some Quickcrete will do the trick? Lupe, run down to the hardware store and pick me up a few bags of concrete mix. Mama Nancy has leak and only a mock up of the Hoover Dam will hold the waters back! YES! Great thinking, *me*! I can put some folks to work building a dam in my pants! Hmm, I think I will call it the Tuna Dam? Yeah! Hook me up to a hydro-electric generator and I could power the entire Eastern seaboard with the piss that runs through me, by golly!

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This explains it all:

Chris believes one spark for his fetish was 1980s cult TV series Knight Rider, starring David Hasselhof and featuring a talking car.

And here's a picture of the new love of his life, a DDR Trabant.
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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Hmm, Auto-Erotica. This idiot might be on to something, comrades. I feel that Autosexuals like Mr. Donald are victims of an abrasive society that will not open their minds up to the prospect of him marrying his auto (or autos). Yes, it's time we allow Mr. Donald to walk down the aisle (or road) with his auto and join them in holy matrimony.

MARRIAGES FOR AUTOSEXUALS, NOW!

To borrow a slogan that I saw on a protest sign used by one of our fellow travelers in the Animal Rights movement:

"AUTOMOBILES ARE PEOPLE TOO!!!"

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ZB

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I believe that the real name for it is Autophelia. There was some story about some guy in a foreign country where talk of sex before marriage was banned, so he had sex with the tailpipe of his car. Even I'm not that desperate.

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Premier Betty wrote: I believe that the real name for it is Autophelia. There was some story about some guy in a foreign country where talk of sex before marriage was banned, so he had sex with the tailpipe of his car.

Hopefully the engine was cold.

Even I'm not that desperate.

Mr. Reno is.

--

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Mr. Reno is.

If it has a hole, he will find it.

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I think that we are missing the obvious uses of Senator Leaky Leahy's bald head. And H8 might like the frisson of those teeth.

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We could always bounce lasers off his head.... Weaponize Leahy's head!

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Let us use him as the nose cone of the new Space Plane. Not only would his bald pate deflect the air at whatever speed, nothing has ever entered it.

This man is a true progressive. Deceitful, lying, mean, dishonest, power-mad, vicious. My kinda guy.

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We must be careful though, if the head is ever breached I have heard tales of a black hole living inside. It could spell disaster for the entire solar system if something were to happen to his head.

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I personally think that the inside of Senator Mole Rat's head is the circle of hell that even Dante was too faint of heart to visit. He attends anniversary reunions of the guards at Auschwitz.

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I believe the fire might be caused by rational thoughts being incinerated like planets as they enter the black hole. A terrible way to die.

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Does that suggest that the black hole is omnivorous, or that it has an evil mind all of its own? That say a thought of Lenin would be welcomed with a meet-and-greet party with the Veuve Cliquot? And that Adam Smith would be burned?

Although an atheist people like Pat Leahy make me believe in the devil.

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Black holes devour everything they can get a hold of. They aren't evil, just the same towards everything. Like sharks. They should be put on the protected species list as well. "Save the Black Hole!"

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But would that not also protect Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee?

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Bye bye, Betty; I must shop for more things for the house I bought. Built in 1975 it is well built but that's where all the avocado and burnt orange went to die. And I recall those days--I was in college.

At least all the double-knit was taken out and burned. And I recall that too: boys wearing it would every few steps wince for it pulled your leg hair out.



 
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