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How to speak like Obama

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Fellow comrades,
As I was browsing though Barns & Noble Comrade's book store today, I came across a particular book about the Obama which just jarred me stupid. It's called "How to Say It like Obama" by Shel Leanne.

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As you could guess, the only thing I could think of is "How to say it like Obama, as in 'Uh. . .Change, Uh. . . (something with no substance) Uh. . . together, we are the ones! Uh . . ." and you get the point.

Now, going into a book store/library, you are bound to find some books with strange titles, some of them not making sense until you read it, some of them just downright silly but it doesn't matter, or just a plain and simple title.

This one falls into neither of these categories, why, because when you have another side which can spin this an absolute 540°, well, you probably should of picked a different title Shel.

-Commissar_Elliott
Commissar of People's Training Aids
Revolution, ours will come soon.


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You will have to explain some more Commissar Obammasar Vodkavich.

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Comrade Commissar,

I scrolled until my wheel finger got tired and saw that none of the author's posts had any comments. Perhaps that is because nobody cares about the book. It could also be because it has flown under the Trolldar until your trip to the bookstore.

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The author is in love. I only had to read the first two pages to figure out what she's really trying to say, and I would recommend these two companion books.


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Commisssar Obamissar V wrote:Comrade Commissar,

I scrolled until my wheel finger got tired and saw that none of the author's posts had any comments. Perhaps that is because nobody cares about the book. It could also be because it has flown under the Trolldar until your trip to the bookstore.

Oh, I see now.


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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:The author is in love. I only had to read the first two pages to figure out what she's really trying to say, and I would recommend these two companion books.
It makes my legs (note the plurality) tingle just looking at them.

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Comrade Joe, I believe you got it right.

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The Current Truth is, comrades, that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing it like Obama. Using PeopleLogic(TM) we can conclude that if you can't do it like Obama, it's not worth doing at all.

Commisssar Obamissar V wrote:Notice the links for comments... need I say more?
True, there are no comments to any of the posts. But that is for an obvious reason - the book teaches how to "speak like Obama," not "type like Obama." I'm sure everyone who read the book are now accomplished talkers. The next step is to teach them Obama's superior technique of pushing the keys.

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Some years ago, in a New York subway, I was waiting for a train while reading the cover of a videotape I had just taken from a library, titled "Learn to speak English well," or something like that. A young black man sitting next to me looked it and asked me why anyone would need that tape. He seemed both puzzled and agitated. I told him I wanted to get rid of the accent and to speak more clearly. He said I didn't have to, because the accent made me who I was and I had to be proud of it. He himself spoke with a strong black accent, and something about that tape seemed to have insulted him. Perhaps what he had learned in the public school and maybe college about self-esteem and multiculturalism didn't compute in the presence of me holding that tape - a reality that contradicted his worldview. I shrugged it off and kept reading.

The tape turned out a complete bunk with useless general advice for dummies stupid enough to judge the tape by its cover and part with their money. At least I didn't pay for it and my only loss was the hour I spent watching it.

I wonder if that young man, now a bit older, would be interested in reading a book titled "How to Say It like Obama" by Shel Leanne.

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I think I see a pattern here:

The Communicative Power of Barack Obama: How He Became President-Elect

Colin Powell's Endorsement of Barack Obama: The Fruits of Obama's Communicative Power

McCain's Speaking Abilities: Assessing the Candidate's Communication Strengths
(Note the blurb says: "He sucked.")

McCain's October 15, 2008 Debate Performance: Blinking, Grimacing, Stumbling, Stiffening Up…. The Top Four Ways He Can Improve

Joe Biden's Vice Presidential Debate Performance: Lessons in Outstanding Communication


Barack Obama's September 26 Debate Performance: 4 Strengths From Which We Can Learn

Barack Obama's September 24 Economic Crisis Remarks: 5 Communication Best Practices

Whether one is Republican, Democrat or Independent, most people agree that Barack Obama is a master of highly effective communication. In Say It Like Obama: the Power of Speaking with Purpose and Vision (https://www.sayitlikeobama.com), I examine many of the best practices that have helped make Obama an outstanding communicator.

You're right, Pinkie. She's in love. To paraphrase Granny Klump, He's the only half-white man that ever made her moist. (And those Republican troglodytes just leave her cold.)

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TR had some interesting comments about hyphenated Americans like the one Red mentions...

Why should ANYONE want to assimilate into the culture of the country they left their own to join? Screw the melting pot. We need the salad bowl... And not even the tossed salad bowl (no ideas, Bruno!! Down boy!). I'm talking about the Deutsch style salat where there is a pile of carrots on the bottom and some potato bits and a pile of onions with some lettus and a tomato on top of it all. The young man at the Bahnhof was right in seeking to preserve a line of division and bring about equal opportunity by rationing based on such divides.

Image Comrades like Red Square are more American than many Comrades with family trees that established roots in The New World in the 1700s.

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Comrade Joe wrote:Image
Hahaha. . . I love this picture Comrade, however, for the more modern comrades, perhaps something like this. . .
Image Yes, I know the "The Power of Speaking. . ." part is a little bad, but I had to make due in the short time I have.

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Commissar_Elliott wrote:
Comrade Joe wrote:Image
Hahaha. . . I love this picture Comrade, however, for the more modern comrades, perhaps something like this. . .
Image Yes, I know the "The Power of Speaking. . ." part is a little bad, but I had to make due in the short time I have.

I like it, Comrade. However, Osama never gave good speeches and I never heard him declare himself a socialist, so ex-Comrade Hitler seemed more appropriate.

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One has to log in with a password to leave comments, and the average person isn't about to jump through all the required hoops for something like this. Too bad. I was ready to go in and rip some bodice.

Besides, I get the impression she's not looking for comments, whether from trolls or fans; she wants only to promote her opus, and blogging is the easiest way for her to do that.

But I love the idea of copying one of his speeches, then inserting blow by blow commentary of every movement he makes. Her love and adoration really shine through in those comments. This could lead to a whole series of books:

Live Like Obama
Eat Like Obama
Blackberry Like Obama
Shoot Hoops Like Obama
Make Love Like Obama
Bang Your Head on Windows and Doors Like Obama
Whine Like Obama
Play the Race (or Victim) Card Like Obama
Dress Like Obama (with a special chapter, "Put Your Pants On Just Like Obama"--because he can't possibly put them on like everybody else.)

As for speaking like Obama, I noticed during his speech last Tuesday night, he kept moving his head from side to side like he was at a tennis match. He never once looked in my direction. It was probably those teleprompter thingies. But I don't think I ever saw any of his predecessors do that. They actually looked more natural.

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Shoot Hoops Like Obama

Don't go there. He's a bricklayer.
Brick Obama
That's another part of this great myth making I cannot comprehend.
It's like the Kennedys were all great football players. Well, at least they had one great swimmer.

I would put money on Sarah Palin to kick his ass, one on one.
Compare their exploits on the court and you'll be left scratching your head.

I'm sure ripping out Truman's bowling alley is part of the stimulus package, just so Obama can lay more bricks.

Film Director: Obama shoots a three pointer. Take 129. Ready? Action!
CLANK
Film Director: OK Mr. President, the crew is getting tired, let's get Kobe to do a stunt double, get a little help from George Lucas and Industrial Light & Magic and we'll call it a wrap?
Obama: Yes We Can!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:This could lead to a whole series of books:
Live Like Obama
Eat Like Obama
Blackberry Like Obama
Shoot Hoops Like Obama
Make Love Like Obama
Bang Your Head on Windows and Doors Like Obama
Whine Like Obama
Play the Race (or Victim) Card Like Obama
Dress Like Obama (with a special chapter, "Put Your Pants On Just Like Obama"--because he can't possibly put them on like everybody else.)

Pinkie! I'd like to illustrate your most beet-worthy list with this unworthy sample:

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I crack up every time I see the 0300hrs phone picture!!! But please, Comrade Red Square, no pics of the following (for the Children, of course):

Pinch a loaf like Obama: The power of excreting digested food matter with purpose
and vision
Rub one out like Obama: The power of creating pleasure with purpose and vision
Use a Q-Tip like Obama: The power of removing excess earwax with purpose and
vision
Burn it like Obama: The power of rolling blunts with purpose and vision


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The hot dog one is pure money!!

Oh!

Wipe your ass like Obama: The power of Back to Front swabbing with purpose and vision.

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Comrade Joe wrote: Yes, I know the "The Power of Speaking. . ." part is a little bad, but I had to make due in the short time I have.

I like it, Comrade. However, Osama never gave good speeches and I never heard him declare himself a socialist, so ex-Comrade Hitler seemed more appropriate.[/quote]
Well of course, I agree, comrade Hitler gave impressive speeches to the masses of Germany, but I figured Freedom Fighter bin Laden was find, I mean, if you appear on the Communist News Network, you must give good speeches.

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Here are some new ones I've come up with.
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If I get more people posting here, I'll post some more, thanks for the ideas and comments everyone.

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The "typing" part would best be left to some manual like...

TYPE IT LIKE
O B A M A 's
speechwriter


or "Teleprompting for Demagogues" or something similar.

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DDR Kamerad wrote:"Teleprompting for Demagogues" or something similar.

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The Karl Marx Treatment Center has been advising Obama for several years. One book that I think would be helpful for the revolution and the masses would be titled:

Understand Economics Like Obama.

The reader would learn that wealth creation, the engine of prosperity, is a wonderful miracle that is conceived and born when a man and a woman love each other very very much and set up a printing press. This is based on sound economic history. For instance, Thomas Edison created the light bulb by building a printing press and handing out hundreds of thousands of crisp new dollars to the non-profits of his day. He loved socialism. And with these new dollars in circulation he thus invented the light bulb and created the electric industry. Henry Ford's story is very similar. He created an assembly line of printing presses and distributed millions of these newly minted dollars to Non-governmental Agencies and soon he found himself with lots and lots of cars! Understanding economics is like working miracles.

The Karl Marx Treatment Center has been teaching Obama all about economic history. It is our experience and carefully crafted policy advice that Obama is using to make the tough and necessary executive decisions.


 
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