Progressive Patriots, Rejoice: Our Constitution is not needed because Our Sovereign has blessed us with 36 copies of his Official Proclamation:
"Ye the People, If You Like Your Liberty, You Can Keep It, Period." What more could we dare expect or ask? Surely he would never hereafter need to announce or proclaim the unabridged version ("Ye the People, If Your Like Your Liberty, You Can Keep it ... for a period").
To prevent misunderstandings or confusion among Ye the People which the unabridged version might unwittingly cause, our Official Soveriegn Criers at ABC, CBS. NBC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, PBS, NYT, WaPo, etc. have been diligently informing "Ye the People" about the easier-to-understand abridged version. We all know a primary task of our Sovereign Leader is to simplify things in order to avoid taxing our limited minds with needless complexities.
He had to send the Secretary of Stazi John Kerry to give a similar message to the Israelis about the West Bank...
Soviet Mike KomsomoletsAre we talking Bronze or Silver liberty? If I have Cadillac liberty now, will I face an injustice penalty? Can I also keep my life, and pursuit of happiness?
You are still alive, comrade. Don't push it.
Am I detecting a note of sarcasm in the comments today? Surely I am mistaken. Hasn't Dear Leader already expressed His sorry that our lack of comprehension of His Words led some to lose their insurance? Hasn't He already forgiven us for our mental deficiency? Isn't He already hard at work correcting the Website so badly botched by His incompetent assistants? Hasn't He personally absolved Himself on His official MSNBC media affiliate?
Yes, comrades, "There's more work to be done,™" but Dear Leader is at the helm! Fear not.
- You will be permitted to pay for a stamp to each and every official document. Decks of cards are also included.
- The jurisdiction of the Admiralty Courts will be extended to assist you in “getting on board” with BritanniaCare.
- Boston Harbor will be shut down to afford the rich (you) the opportunity of paying their (your) fair share in tea taxes.
- The Massachusetts Charter will be revoked to simplify governance by eliminating competing legislatures. I know, HRH George III did say that if you like your legislature, you can keep it, but he has a better idea and you will thank him for the manifold benefits of being compelled to pay more for the upgrade.
- To repair some unexpected difficulties with the implementation of BritanniaCare, British technicians are on their way. In fact, so many are on their way that you will be offered a mandatory opportunity to house them at your expense.
- Due to the overwhelming popularity of BritanniaCare, it has become necessary to outsource the implementation of His Britannic Majesty's signature wellness plan to Hessian technicians. That means even more opportunities for reimbursement to the Crown will be made available. We care; you share.
ZSU23-4We need to clear up one Rethuglican talking point...none among us is "losing his liberty". Some citizens are being transitioned from "junk liberty" to a far superior liberty, and at a fraction of the cost of that offered by a bunch of old, white, slave-holding men. We offer a liberty plan with all of the liberties you require and without the "bad apple" responsibility clauses demanded by the old white guys. Sign up today and get your special "Liberty ID Number" permanently tattooed on your wrist for easy access.
Well said, Comrade. Well said.
Crappy - I told you that swizzle stick would come in handy some day!
(...you look good with your ears done-up!)