Image

Increased Mice Activity Noted at Certain Comrades Dachas

User avatar
Comrades,

It has come to the attention of the Inner party that higher than normal levels of mice activity has been discovered around the Dacha's of Groucho Marxist, Comrade Tooorisky and Vladimir Scratchanitch. Since these Comrades have failed to report any reasons to their local Commisssars why mice would all of the sudden start flocking around their Dacha's a formal investigation has been started to ascertain the recent rodent attraction.

I'm sure there are comrades here who might also be able to add their own ideas and theories as to why this is happening since Groucho Marxist, Comrade Toorisky and Vladimir Scratchanitch, three comrades more known for their verbosity instead of the recent strange silence of late regarding their recent micey houseguests.


mice_cheese_sep06_rex_170.jpg

Oh, I'm sure after all is said and done and the true source of the attraction for the mice is discovered it will be so innocent and we all get a good chuckle out of the deal.

In the meantime let us give a collective hand of praise for these three Comrades as they have also just recently returned from Wisconsin, where they were supporting our brethren and their fight against that Neo-Nazi Governor Walker and his Union busting facists. Well done fellows!!!

User avatar
CLEARLY, there is a reason for this behavior..... and what else could it be beside Personal Unapproved Hording by Proles ™ . . . . . .
and here is the evidentiary we have been looking for! More proof positive of their personal hording abilities!
Image This is NOT AN EXAMPLE OF SHARING WITH THE COLLECTIVE,is it??!
Imagebut personal greed (although there's nothing wrong with that on it's own, shall not be tolerated by proles)
But, I would like an explanation as to why this poor dear woman is peering so desperately out of Groucho's housing?!
Image

User avatar
Comrades, it has been brought to my attention, by the highest authority, that there have been mysterious and unaccounted shortages of cheese at the People's specialty stores.

I'm almost certain there is no connection to the mouse infestation at these above named comrade's dachas. However, the mouse policeman never sleeps (to quote Jethro Tull) and rest assured, we will get to the bottom of this.

In the meantime, I call upon our Chief Mouse Catcher, comrade Reiuxcat to increase patrols around the affected dachas.

User avatar
MICE!

I was once for having winter visitor of one mice living in my facial hairs. It was all starting when I was for feeling tingle up my leg but I was for the dismissal of tingle as I was for thinking of Dear Leader and was of belief I was for the experience of Chris Matthews Syndrome.

Then one day Misha is for saying to me if I was for eating special poppy seed cakes that underwife 51 is so fond of the making. I say to him that it was for being wrong time of seasoning for the poppy cakes and he then is for pointing to my abaya and asking why there were so much of the seeds being stuck there.

I was for pulling out abaya for good look-see and said to Misha that these were of elliptical shapings and not round like poppy seeds. He is then for coming closer to me for good look, too.

He then to brush some facial hairs aside to look for not-poppy seed trail and out from facial hairs jumps little brown mouse! We were then for having very good laugh. I am for liking little winter mice friends because they are good for cleaning up little crumbs that so many of the underwives are for making but I am not so much for liking little winter mice in my facial hairs.

Hmmmm... both the Groucho Marxist and Vladimir Scratchanitch are also for having the facial hairs. Maybe because it is of springtime the winter mouses living in their beards were for having many babies and that is why for so much micey activity?

User avatar
Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Comrades,

It has come to the attention of the Inner party that higher than normal levels of mice activity has been discovered around the Dacha's of Groucho Marxist, Comrade Tooorisky and Vladimir Scratchanitch.

Upon investigation of my Dingy Dacha, I discovered that yes, indeed I have a mouse problem-

mouse-with-gun.jpg

Upon discussing it with the cat, we decided the best defense was a strong offense, so I appropriately equipped the cat to handle the armed terrorist mice-

cat_gun.jpg

User avatar
Comrades,

It is true, there are more mice around the normal. This can easily be accounted for by the extreme water levels in the area. Rodents usually hang out by the river, these creatures have been forced to seek higher ground because of the excessive rainfall and storm runoff. It rained yesterday, there are expectations for tonight and tomorrow.
We can be the masters of our domain, which does not include rainfall, is good for the beets not for the mice. You'll have to look elsewhere for unaccounted amounts of cheese.Comrades are free to inspect my Dacha, but wear boots.

User avatar
Comrade Scratchanitch, I for one (and that's all that I am. PLEASE DISREGARD ANY EMAILS YOU HAVE RECEIVED STATING OTHERWISE) find this very upsetting, unless said mouses... mices... mouse in question in on the side of the Cube. Do you have any further information??? Tooorisky, let me understand.... you are saying your are also hording water?!!

User avatar
Colonel Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Comrade Scratchanitch, I ....find this very upsetting, unless said mouses... mices... mouse in question in on the side of the Cube. Do you have any further information???

My dear Frau, don't let this upset your pretty little head.

Cat is Comrade. Mouse is terrorist.

Which one makes dainty ladies (such as yourself) jump up on chairs, stomp feet, and scream?


UPDATE- Video




User avatar
My Fraulein,
Nine, Nine, Nine! [Close enough for government work]. There is no hoarding of water here,
an excessive over abundance of the liquid has fallen upon us from the skies, not in disguise!Beet Field workers are demanding dry working conditions, they will be treated with reeducation camps.

Our whether guessers don't even hazard a guess at when it will stop. All efforts are being made to keep the mouses outside of the wire!

User avatar
Mouse as a terrorist? I am not sure of the political correctness of that remark - freedom fighter is a much more advisable wordage. But I notice that you do not explain the food hordage, of which there is ample, accurate photo coverage. Where is the redistribution, I ask?!

Tooorisky, we are to take your word?? Where is the absolute proof you are not hording? We have dry sky's in the gulag! Possibly, due to your consumption of waters? Image

User avatar
what more proof do you need for Global Climate Change™ comrades? Melting polar ice caps, flooding and mouse invasions never happened before the invention of the SUV.

User avatar
Colonel Fraulein Pulloskies wrote: Tooorisky, we are to take your word?? Where is the absolute proof you are not hording? We have dry sky's in the gulag! Possibly, due to your consumption of waters? Image

Frau Colonel, what is the relevance of a close up picture of your dry cracked skin? Remember what your doctor told you "It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose."

Your photographic evidence of hording by these proles is very suspicious indeed. As comrade Stalin said, where there is smoke there's a firing squad.

User avatar
Colonel Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Mouse as a terrorist? I am not sure of the political correctness of that remark - freedom fighter is a much more advisable wordage. But I notice that you do not explain the food hordage, of which there is ample, accurate photo coverage. Where is the redistribution, I ask?!

Tooorisky, we are to take your word?? Where is the absolute proof you are not hording? We have dry sky's in the gulag! Possibly, due to your consumption of waters? Image


Dearest Frau, NONE of these problems have been caused by the Comrades.

Have we so soon forgotten that Comrade Chavez says ALL of these problems are caused by Capitalism?

User avatar
Fraulein,

Please do not confuse my limited power with the unlimited power of Red Square. I have no ability to control skies or water supplies. He does control that and more.

User avatar
Comrades and Comradistas....
Please accept my humble apologies. I too had noticed an abundance of mice around the Dacha GM. Forgive me but I thought all of my brothers and sisters in arms were over run with these little delicious morsels as well. We have found them to be wonderful appetizers as well as a main ingredient in the beet borscht.
I merely thought upon our return from the freezing tundras of Wisconsin our entire village had received this wonderful flood of protein from the freshly plowed beet fields. Whether this the result of the capitalist global warming I cannot say. Please come by the dacha and I will be glad to share our bountiful harvest as I have devised some very clever traps that both catch alive and or de-fur and fillet these lovely creatures.

User avatar
Comrades,
It is with a very heart that I must report this. One of my operatives was following up on a report of missing cheese from Wisconsin and she found something. Tatiana just sent me this very disturbing photo:

3cheese.jpg

User avatar
Grigori E.R. wrote:Comrades,
It is with a very heart that I must report this. One of my operatives was following up on a report of missing cheese from Wisconsin and she found something. Tatiana just sent me this very disturbing photo:

3cheese.jpg

It's not true! I have NEVER been to Wisconsin.... mmmm that deep fat fried cheese sure looks good..

User avatar


Here's some great ideas for the excess rats and mice

User avatar
I denounce the excessive hoarding of mice! Yes! Illicit mouse farming! Clearly these three thought criminals have been herding mice for their own neferious capitalistic purposes! Already I hear one can get bottled mouse milk, mouse burgers, mouse on a stick, mouse nuggets, mouse skin coats, and mouse leather shoes. Where will the greed end? Needless to say, there is even mouse cheese made from the mouse milk. Oh my Stalin, my brain hurts even at the thoughts of such depraved behavior. I say we kill the thought criminals now, instead of later.

User avatar
Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:
Grigori E.R. wrote:Comrades,
It is with a very heart that I must report this. One of my operatives was following up on a report of missing cheese from Wisconsin and she found something. Tatiana just sent me this very disturbing photo:

3cheese.jpg

It's not true! I have NEVER been to Wisconsin.... mmmm that deep fat fried cheese sure looks good..
Oh Please Scratchy, I still have your email that you sent prior to your going to Wisconsin. From: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] CC: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Subject: Commodore, Wisconsin Here We Come

Commodore, Just wanted to inform you that myself, Groucho and Toorisky are going to Wisconsin to support the protesters as they stand against that rethugglikkan Gov. Walker! Groucho, myself and Tooorisky all sense a good opportunity to support our progressive brethren as they storm the capital.

User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Colonel Fraulein Pulloskies wrote: Tooorisky, we are to take your word?? Where is the absolute proof you are not hording? We have dry sky's in the gulag! Possibly, due to your consumption of waters? Image

Frau Colonel, what is the relevance of a close up picture of your dry cracked skin? Remember what your doctor told you "It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose."

Your photographic evidence of hording by these proles is very suspicious indeed. As comrade Stalin said, where there is smoke there's a firing squad.
In the new ObamaCare© laws, it is now mandatory for the private conversation between patient and doctor to be recorded so The Party™ can decide that no privacy laws have been violated. After viewing Frau's private conversation with her doctor, I can assure the Party™ that no such privacy laws were violated and here's the proof:

User avatar
My old friend Hannibal and I used to have such a chuckle watching that "lotion"scene. Those were good old days back in Baltimore, yes indeed. We had many good times making the rounds of "after the concert" cocktail parties: Fond Memories

He really was a very funny guy. Very dry sense of humor, but I could always sense it coming. He would like;"Grigori, guess who I'm having for dinner?" and I would say;"Han, don't tell me, surprise me" and we would both have a good laugh. He did have a thing against rude people though. When some poor Prole would cross that rude line, I would quickly make for my exit.

Hold on, I have a transmission coming in.................
From: Tatiana
Grigori,
They have changed the sign. Here's the updated photo:

3cheese_02.jpg

User avatar
Grigori E.R. wrote:Comrades,
It is with a very heart that I must report this. One of my operatives was following up on a report of missing cheese from Wisconsin and she found something. Tatiana just sent me this very disturbing photo:

AAAAAKKKKKK! THEY ARE PARTICIPANTS IN EVIL CAPITALISMS!!! I see futures in the gulags for these 3 Bushites!!

User avatar
Great Lenin's ghost, another cheese scandal? I will begin reviewing all surveillance videos.

User avatar
Comrades,

That is indeed a picture of myself selling cheese. The Commodore has agents and research assistants everywhere.
This was a temporary fill in spot for which I was not paid.
I am not the culprit here, the real culprit is the one who cut the cheese! Then removed chucks from the People's storehouse. The cheese in WI had all the government stamps on it, so it could not have been the People's cheese.
We need to find out who cut the cheese!

User avatar
Oh my! Stealing the GOVERNMENT CHEESE and selling on the black market is bad enough but in the hardest hit state along with women, minorities and children is just horrible!

Cheese cannot be sold. It's an entitlement no matter who cuts the cheese.

User avatar
Quite so Laika, quite so. Cheese is a public resource, it's like everyone else's money, it belongs us (er, I mean everyone in the Collective, which we represent).

Pilfering the People's cheese and selling it on the black market for profit is hooliganism, pure and simple. These are serious charges and if there is evidence, then indictments must be brought against those responsible.

User avatar
Comrades,
There is no reason to dither over technicalities like proof and evidence. All we need is a little innuendo and a blacklist of undesirables. Combining the two will be great fun, besides, we are really interested in flexing the power of the cube and it's leader, Red Square.

A little purging never hurt anybody, most of them were not in the states to feel anything.


User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote:Great Lenin's ghost, another cheese scandal? I will begin reviewing all surveillance videos.

Comrade Whoopie,

Please enter the following surveillance video into the dossier. As background as to why the mice were attracted and started to gather near their Dacha's!!!!! It is starting to look BAD for these three, REAL BAD.


User avatar
Yes Snoogie, it looks very bad for these three. I found these incriminating images on their hard drives. The look of guilt on Scratchy's face is undeniable.

tooorisky cheese.jpg

Groucho cheese.jpg

Scratchy cheese.jpg

User avatar
Groucho%20cheese.jpg
That photo is a fraud. I call for denouncements for all the perpertrators of this dispicable scheme. This is an outrage!!!! There is no way even I can carry that much cheese.

User avatar
Scratchy%20cheese.jpg
Look at this photo. Another obvious fraud. When have you ever seen Comrade Scratchy with his hair combed so well?

User avatar
tooorisky%20cheese.jpg
But this? It is obviously an actual photograph. He was seen comandeering a load of non-union cheese in Wisconsin and he really is that ugly. Please give me the courtesy of knowing when to duck before the gunfire begins. Furthermore, I must retire to dacha as I must needs return to my duties as "Peoples Song Writer" ...I can hear my next tune even now....."I pirate songs that the comrades sing, I pirate the songs of progressive dreams I pirate songs that make comradistas cry, I pirate songs, I pirate songs!!!! Join me and sing.........

User avatar
I see backstabbing and throwing others under the bus to save guilty hides has already started!

Groucho,

Why your sorry attempts to say the pictures are a fraud except for Tooorisky's ugly mug may earn you reprieve in the short term until the full investigation is complete. I have just had them examined by our People's Navy Photographic experts and have received the sorry results................OH THE SHAME.


Image

User avatar
Before guilty have "Fair Trial and a Fine Hanging" (uncensored quote from in Amerkan Kowboy cinema show True Grit-- John Wayne was Inspektor Rooster Kogburn, KGB)

which has keys to Zastava?
zastava.jpg


User avatar
Comrade Groucho,

Comrade Snoogie eats rats for breakfast, lunch and dinner, why wouldn't he smell like a rat? He especially likes Rat Sukiyaki, Rat Teriaki, and Fried Rat on Toast. As for the cheese in your possession, do you have any gruyere, or bleu cheese? If so, please slip it into the janitor's closet right under where I store my broom--it might just pay off for you during your trial--of course, I can't guarantee anything.


User avatar
COMRADES!

Evidence piling in is just to overwhelming.

It is time for the OFFICIAL DENOUNCEMENT AND DEMAND FOR A SHOW TRIAL for these three, three....ah what to call these Party Traitors??????? Got it for the UP TO NO GOUDA THREE

As disappointed as I am that my innocent little post just commenting on a strange mice infestation has evolved into heartbreak and uncovering of treacherous behavior by so called loyal party members, it is also good we discovered their fiendish ways before they further contaminate the collective with their capitalistic shenanigans Whoopie, I just got done checking with my spies about who much profit these guys raked in on that Cheese Biz they set up in Wisconsin, we're going to be rich after this!

WHO WILL SECOND MY MOTION FOR A SHOW TRIAL FOR THE UP TO NO GOUDA THREE?

In the interim until the motion is seconded, Groucho Marxist, Comrade Tooorisky and Vladimir Scratchanitch stay in the area and do not attempt to leave without notifying your local Commissar. Be advised that all airports, train stations and highway authorities have been advised of your under investigation status and to be on the lookout for your vehicle if it shows up at any border crossings.



cheese car.jpg

User avatar
Commodore, it's with a heavy heart that I must second your motion for a showtrial. Diversion of foodstuffs from the People's food stores. Hording. Capitalist dealings with known associates of the Tea Party. Profiteering and black marketeering are serious charges that must be addressed. The Collective must be assured that we will look after their best interests...Ooo Fraulein, could you pass me a bit of that aged cheddar...thanks darlin'...where was I? Oh yes, let the trial begin.

User avatar
Just to be safe, I have changed their clocks so they are stuck on "2am beet digging shift" until the Fair Trial(TM) followed by Execution. Has anyone collected the cost of the bullet from them yet?

User avatar
Amerikkan Chevrolet Car is big and ugly. On other hand it has certain melty-stretchy-cheesy goodness about it...

User avatar
Groucho Marxist, Comrade Tooorisky and Vladimir Scratchanitch up to no good, AGAIN?

I should have known! That explains the mouse on a stick shortage!

And the ones you find are so UGLY!!!

Image
The UP TO NO GOUDA THREE will be made to pay!!!

cash.jpg

User avatar
The results of a recent undercover investigation.





This show trial will be a complete farce as their isn't a scrap of evidence.


Not even any Venzulean Beaver Cheese

User avatar
Comrades, I have seized a dozen cartons of "Mouse on a Stick" which is a cheap knock off of the People's Treat "Rat on a Stick". Anyone wishing a Mouse on a Stick ration, please contact me.

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrades, I have seized a dozen cartons of "Mouse on a Stick" which is a cheap knock off of the People's Treat "Rat on a Stick". Anyone wishing a Mouse on a Stick ration, please contact me.

Outstanding Colonel 7.62,

I'm sure your well trained goons will ensure that defendants are well treated while in custody during the trial. Preparations are being made as to who will Judge and prosecute these miscreants as we speak. I do hope Groucho, Tooorisky and Scratchy have been working on their confessions alibis and will offer plenty of valuable defense evidence to the Court for our perusal as to its worth along with copious amounts of shameless groveling and toadyism toward other Inner party members before the guiltydetermination if they are in fact guilty yeah right like that aint gonna happen of these cheesy crimes of running a capitalistic enterprise for their own greedy purposes instead of "for the children"

User avatar
Groucho Marxist wrote:

This show trial will be a complete farce as their isn't a scrap of evidence.


Not even any Venzulean Beaver Cheese

I've been nosing around y'alls dacha! No evidence?
I think you overlooked paying off the weasels.
Squirty-cheese.jpg

Oh, and looky here. Badger cheese to boot!
Badgercheese1.jpg

Confess now and we may let you take the honorable way out.

S&W_revolver1.jpg

User avatar
I've never been part of a show trial before. Is this going to be high end or low budget? Do I get to select the actor that plays me? Do I have any artistic input into production not to mention royalities? Do I need an agent?

User avatar
"[highlight=#ffff99]Do I need an agent?[/highlight]"

Great Stalin's Ghost! This is not show business, it's the People's show business. It is about social justice for that single parent sitting at the kitchen table worrying about paying the bills, about those little children who have to learn English to attend Public school...and on and on and on (I believe there's a song there). The Iron Fist of the People's Justice is upon you Comrade. Know it and PAY attention to the proper authorities.

User avatar
During time in Serbia, I learned valuable phrase:

"There is no economic reason that justice cannot be served..."

the question comrades, how valuable is innocence?

User avatar
Grigori E.R. wrote:"[highlight=#ffff99]Do I need an agent?[/highlight]"

Great Stalin's Ghost! This is not show business, it's the People's show business. It is about social justice for that single parent sitting at the kitchen table worrying about paying the bills, about those little children who have to learn English to attend Public school...and on and on and on (I believe there's a song there). The Iron Fist of the People's Justice is upon you Comrade. Know it and PAY attention to the proper authorities.

Gigori E.R.

You've brought a tear to this Comrades eye. Of course its all for the children. The mere thought of those little tykes so looking forward to a little grilled cheese lunch sandwich action and having their poor mothers have to tell them "Sorry, my little waif but were all outta Govt cheese right now" sniff, sniff.........Somebody, pass me a hankie.....Oh thanks. Frau. Well at least until this business is sorted out the little ones can still play outside in the playground and not be reminded of anything at all that has to do with cheese right now.


kid_grater.jpg


User avatar
Comrade Whoopie wrote:It's for the "grater" good comrades.

Not the "grader" good?

Now what do I do with the new 2011 model road grader that Govt Motors has just started selling for his O'liness? The UAW was guaranteed 300 days of production. That's 75 graders that must be sold!

grader.jpg

User avatar
Comrads... I have come out of my undercover mission to help discover all of the violations these "individuals" have made. That is the seriousness of these charges.

But to throw in my evidence....

grater_toilet_paper.jpg

I guess it is reusable, some green points there....

But facts are facts and the facts are this somehow makes them all guilty. But how is what we must findout.

User avatar
Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrades,

That is indeed a picture of myself selling cheese. The Commodore has agents and research assistants everywhere.
......!

ANOTHER CAPITALIST EXPOSED BY HIS OWN WORDAGE. I demand an execution . . . . or at least a minimal throttling for our own amusement. Why, just examine your thoughts and imagine how much entrainment he has stolen from Reiuxcat. This cannot be allowed.

Comrade Whoopie, close examination will expose the truth that my most accurate photo was taken of the bottom of your foot appendage after you tripped over your vodka bottle, just last week. Surely you recognize yourself?

User avatar
Is there someplace I should report to for torture and forced confessions or are we just going to skip that and go straight to execution? Additionally, is this going to harm my good name and reputation in any way? My family is seeking a name change as I type this.

User avatar
Groucho Marxist wrote:Is there someplace I should report to for torture and forced confessions or are we just going to skip that and go straight to execution? Additionally, is this going to harm my good name and reputation in any way? My family is seeking a name change as I type this.

Comrade, don't be so negative.

There will be a fair show trial.

As a matter of fact, I drew the short straw and have been assigned to be counsel for the guilty, er, defendants. That means you and the rest of the gouda three.

Need to find that wig...

User avatar
Former Comrades, I would like to suggest a painless execution for you. But the only way I can do that is if you all just confess that you are nothing but whores for the Kraft Kompany.

User avatar
Me thinks this case has more holes in it than Swiss Cheese.

User avatar
Groucho Marxist wrote:I've never been part of a show trial before. Is this going to be high end or low budget? Do I get to select the actor that plays me? Do I have any artistic input into production not to mention royalities? Do I need an agent?
You need bring nothing, Comrade, but if I were you I wouldn't wear a nice shirt. If it were to get something on it, like maybe blood, we could use it again. Waste not, want not!

User avatar
Groucho Marxist wrote:Is there someplace I should report to for torture and forced confessions or are we just going to skip that and go straight to execution? Additionally, is this going to harm my good name and reputation in any way? My family is seeking a name change as I type this.
You will probably be rehabilitated in 70 years or so. Not to worry.

User avatar
Comrades,

The picture showing me with cheese in my hand was following the initial run for an more natural, biodegradable, eco friendly suppository.

We are actively recruiting volunteers to evaluate effectiveness, could I see the hands of those who want to take science to the next level?

User avatar
Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrades,

The picture showing me with cheese in my hand was following the initial run for an more natural, biodegradable, eco friendly suppository.

We are actively recruiting volunteers to evaluate effectiveness, could I see the hands of those who want to take science to the next level?
A cheesy suppository is a great segue way for what is happening here.

User avatar
I think we are all up for a good execution. Who wants to volunteer?!

User avatar
If volunteer, is cause for losing amateur status, no? Hate to lose scholarship...

User avatar
I have never seen so many accurate photos and I must denounce Groucho for his denouncements of fakery. Is there any question of guilt??!!

User avatar
Colonel Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:I have never seen so many accurate photos and I must denounce Groucho for his denouncements of fakery. Is there any question of guilt??!!
Speaking of which Fraulein, Your hair is lovely. Is it real or carry on?


You know I always respected your objectivity.

User avatar
Actually, Comarde Marxist, sometimes it is real, sometimes it is carry on, sometimes it is borrowed.

And I must say, dear dear Groucho, such a lovely tune! I am thinking you might not be as guilt as first insinuate by some more guilty comrades, luring about.....

love marx.gif


 
POST REPLY