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Increased Shovel Activity Detected Near Theo's Rancho

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Comrades,

Recently, I was made aware of a lack of postings by our beloved Father Prog Theocritus and Commissarka Pinkie. As such I began an investigation to determine if the cause was do to some nefarious reichwinger rethuglikkkan plot. Alas, I was unable to determine the cause. My investigation turned up nothing really out of the ordinary though the motion detectors that I used to track reichwinger tunneling plots, did pick up some strange readings.

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Analysis of the graph taken from one detector located very near Father Prog Theo's beloved Rancho showed a spike normally associated with a loud dynamite blast, followed by some serious shoveling sounds and a muffled female voice yelling in a strange foreign language the word "Eureka". People's Navy analysis experts believe this word may originally be from Greek roots.

I'm sure that this little mysterious shoveling activity will soon be cleared up and has nothing to do with gold, which has recently achieved unheard prices for one ounce on the worlds market and Father Prog Theo's and Commissarka Pinkie's recent lack of postings. They must be busy with other truly unselfish projects that are taking a lot of their time right now.

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Digging for gold? What a relief, I was afraid you had discovered he was digging for that nasty ole Texas crude selling (for $140 a barrel). Maybe he was just planting a new beet crop to feed the starving, except with the robust Obamoconomy, we have no starving.

Could he have gotten his hands on one of bin Laden's compound videos?????!!!
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Judge Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Digging for gold? What a relief, I was afraid you had discovered he was digging for that nasty ole Texas crude selling (for $140 a barrel). Maybe he was just planting a new beet crop to feed the starving, except with the robust Obamoconomy, we have no starving.

Could he have gotten his hands on one of bin Laden's compound videos?????!!!
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Judge Pulloskies!!! Where have you been surfing??? Just where did you find this lurid image?

--KOOK

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Did you not hear, via our Big Mouth Government Elites, this image was captured on the video cam.

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Are you making light of the fact investigators will have to spend hours studying these films forward and backward for hidden images and messages?

Were you trying to imply that our comrades were boning up on their Greek culture?

Please speak clearly on these important subjects!

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Ah, I see our beloved Father Prog Theocritus must have received his "Kim Jong il, Do-it-Yourself, Home Made Atomic Bomb Kit." Remember Father Prog, real men don't read instructions!

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Comarde Menace, that could explain this most up to date photo I received in my super private email account (which is [email protected]). We can congratulation dear Father Prog for a successful experimentation. I think.

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I am thinking we need to demand a full investigation into these activities.... if for no other reason than we have too many comrades sitting around on their duffs collection Beet Rations and doing little to deserve them. After all, we all know how Father Prog is such a softy... this should not be!

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™ I hate to rat on my dear Comrade Theocritus, but it's for the Greater Good ™ and his own good that I do, but I found some candy wrappers from a store up in Aspen, Colorado in Bruno's purse--yes, I clean out Bruno's purse once in a while.

Now, this may well be a conjured conspiracy theory kind of story, but didn't John Denver have an underground tank built near his Aspen home so he could store gasoline during the Carter years? I wonder that Father Prog isn't doing some research at the former John Denver ranch to see if he could have some underground storage tanks put in at the Rancho, so he can have his own personal storage of gasoline that he had no intention sharing with the rest of us--just a theory, but I take the clues as I get them. Of course, Aspen went 80% for Dear Leader, so I know he and Bruno may have been hob-nobbing with speakers for our glorious Eco-Marxist ™ ideology, like Kim Batten, the Global Climate Change Coordinator of the World.

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If you comrades must know, Theocritus and I are collaborating on what you might call an "extreme grass roots" effort--as in really getting deep beneath those roots--to dig up voters for Obama next year.

A billion dollars isn't all he hopes to raise.

And thanks to my shovel, I can actually raise other things besides awareness. Like lumps on your heads.

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My fellow comrades. I am astonished to think that I should be accused of anything underhanded. You know that I give my all to the Cause. It's for The Children™ and the Party™ and all that other shit.

How many tears have you seen me weep over this? How many onions have I ground into my eyes just before going onto MSNBC to make sure that I could weep those fulsome tears?

I am not a gold digger. Any rumors that I am are wrong. I am merely insuring that the People's Revolution will be properly funded, and to make sure that the funding is secure, I shall take it in in trust. I am after all a bonded escrow officer.

So I can take, and hold, and caress and frolic in your money, without it being technically necessary that you worry about it.

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Leninka, I am shocked, shocked, I say, to see you conflating John Denver with your poor Father Prog Theocritus. I don't even have a pilot's license and so cannot kill myself after having tested my gag reflex by my hypocrisy about green things, and that's saying quite a bit.

John Denver has gone to that great Hypocrite's Home in Heaven, but he was an Ur-prog so that's okay.

Inconsistency? That's nothing as long as we look good doing it. And feel good.

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Pinkie, chère, I am sending you some rosin for your hands to improve the grip on your shovel. No one respects more than I the death grip that your hands, gnarled from decades toiling at the People's Projects, can wield on a shovel, but in the case of this louse Snoogie, I do so want to make sure that in your most energetic flailings about that you do not lose contact.

It is my belief that Snoogie's head was meant, as a dialectical imperative, to host the backside of your shovel.

And I don't think that, as a matter of fact, that we have to worry about digging up a billion dollars for Dear O'Leader. It will not be long until we are used to hearing the word "billion" used in everyday conversation, often right after we tell the barista that we will not after all take a cookie with our coffee.

Thank you Federal Reserve. You saved me the trouble of going to the bank, drawing out money, transferring funds, getting cash, driving into the desert, and throwing it into the air.

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Comrade Theocritus,

I believe you surpass Monica Lewinsky's cigar wielding paramour when it comes to evasive explanations.

Don't think we aren't on to you, here. I wouldn't be surprised if you, the Peloski, and the MTE have conspired together to set up a missile base pointed at oil refineries. I hear Aquavelvajad is helping Chavez set up a missile base in Venezuela----remember Dear Leaders words before he was elected?--"Cuba, Iran, Venezuela, these are tiny countries, they are no threat to us'----I'm surprised he didn't include the Rancho in that list.

Wait a minute, being made progressives here, that would be a good thing, wouldn't it?

Well, never mind. You're activities still warrant interest.

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I have received reports of Glenn Beck and G. Gordon Liddy returning from the vicinity of the Rancho with their pockets bulging. The People's Security Service has also monitored increased phone traffic between Theo and Goldline, Blanchard and Monex.

I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

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Coincidence... yes, i am sure it is all coincidentalisms. This photo is surely shopped photogenically!
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why, that doesn't even look like Father Prog..... sort of doesn't. I am sure it is isn't! Why would he be shoving gold in such an expensive suite, I ask!?

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I bet that dirt in his shovel is laced with something, I don't know what, but it's laced with something.

Comrade Fraulein,

Good camera work.

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Thank you dear Leninka. That is, of course, a government supplied redistribute camerastolen bought with OPM. Most accurate.

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Just watch out for the talent pooping pidgeons. I hear that Theocritus feeds them pellets made out of Kobe beef scraps combined with raw beets, and Big Macs.

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Whoopie, how in the hell did you see Glenn Beck coming from the Rancho? I will, under duress, admit that he was here, but that wasn't money. That was battery packs. I took Glenn to my Progatronics Jiffy-Lobo™ right here at the Rancho, where we train other progs to be obtuse, unreflective, loud, selfish, and in general good prog swine.

I am about to unleash on the world a new Jiffy-Lobo service: the Manchurian Prog. I did some serious rootling about in Glenn's head and programmed him so that he'll invite Newt Gingrich on Faux Noise and when Newt says that he thought that Ryan's budget was right-wing social engineering, Glenn, the MODIFIED AT THE RANCHO GLENN, will say, "That makes a tingle run up my leg."

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Fraulein, the gold that I am shoveling, and in my expensive Armani suit paid for by OPM (mostly the social-security checks of people whom I created), is that that gold is not Au. It is...wait for this...the stool of our Many Titted Empress.

How could you not wear a fancy suit to shovel Hillary shit? And I don't care how much of it she produces. You see that sensuous shovelful, that fragrant forkful? That's a taco's worth.

I just don't know how she does it. I think it's related to the Rose Law Firm records. Now all of us know that she was as innocent as the driven snow even if she did look like the trodden slush, but let's be honest, in camera, among all the little progheads here. Until we found the center of the universe, Baroke Hussein Obowma, we had the very fountainhead of complete and total in-your-face shit and lies.

Since 1992 yet.

That's why I ask her to the Rancho. I sell this stuff to Progressive members of Congress.

It's great virtue is that after you eat MTES, it is impossible to choke on your own lies.

Repeat after me: After you eat the shit of our Many Titted Empress, it is impossible to choke on your own lies.

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Leninka, I have had enough with the talent-shitting pigeons and the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. But now I've been having talent-pissing tomcats, which are competing with the talent-shitting pigeons for supremacy of my garage door.

And this doesn't quite have Pupovich's paw print on it. So I accuse YOU.

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How do you know that Pupovich isn't a cat dog? He's a progressive, after all. Some dogs like cats, you know.

And there you go again, steering away from the real issue, and that is that we suspect insubordinate questionable operations fitting to the Chicago Way.

But back to the cats---I suspect you planted those cats there yourself, or at the very least, attracted them with all the oyster shells that have been piling up around there, and I hear oysters are quite expensive these day---hard to come by, ever since Dear Leader's engineers thought of the brilliant idea to flood all of the oyster beds with fresh water from the Mississippi in order to push the BP oil spill away from the coastline. Oysters must have salt water to survive, you know.

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No! No! No! Leninka, I know that it's YOU who did this. You orchestrated this. You've been increasingly full of yourself lately and this is just the sort of underhanded, sneaky little thing that you would do.

I mean, really. Tomcats backing up to a garage door and pissing? This just so reeks of you.

I am touched.

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Even if I was involved in any way, in this case, I would have immunity. I just dropped some of my best cornbread off at Eric Holder's office, and I'm black. You, Theocritus, are in a pickle!

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O ho, Leninka! You don't know Eric Holder like I do. Corn bread is soul food for him and no matter how wonderful it is, he prefers lobster. As do His Oliness and Moochelle. In fact, there is a movement to get a THIRD Air Force One just to go to Maine every day to get lobster for Eric Holder and Moochelle.

You have to remember how hard it is to have no brain and remember to tell people they eat too much, or to refuse to prosecute any action of voter intimidation. By, not against, blacks.

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And you don't know my cornbread like I do. I lace it with jalapenos, and flavor it with a hint of garlic, and to top it off, I add a top layer of sun dried tomatoes. And I have tweaked the corn flour to white flour ratio, to create a perfect, moist, rich taste that melts in your mouth.

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Pinkie, chère, I am sending you some rosin for your hands to improve the grip on your shovel. No one respects more than I the death grip that your hands, gnarled from decades toiling at the People's Projects, can wield on a shovel, but in the case of this louse Snoogie, I do so want to make sure that in your most energetic flailings about that you do not lose contact.

It is my belief that Snoogie's head was meant, as a dialectical imperative, to host the backside of your shovel.

Baah, as if I would take any precautionary measures due to your suggestion to Pinkie of some sort of future relationship that I might be involved in with her shovel.

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Now where was I, oh yes, Father Theo, I fail to see why you are so upset at my showing the collective the rather strange results that my motion detectors picked up around your Rancho. I tried numerous times to contact both you and Pinkie about what was found, but I only got your answering machines and voice mail. It seems you two have been extremely busy of late and away from your phones. I just thought I would mention it in passing here so that It would not slip my mind. It was nothing more than doing a good deed to let you both know what I had found in the readings and found rather curious.

Though as they say, "No good deed goes unpunished" and I seem to have incurred a bit of a miff from you and Pinkie for it. Oh, that reminds me speaking of deeds. I found the design of this one that recently hit my desk pretty interesting.


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Oh come on, Snoogie. You know that it's a time-honored wheeze to sell real estate in swamp lands, or the desert, to rubes. Lloyd Bentson--remember that Texas prog senator?--got his family money screwing Mexicans along the Texas-Mexico border.

Gold. Uranium. Phlogiston. Ether. Molybdenum. Titanium. Barack's Tasty People's Crème. ("Spread The One's Shit on a cracker and it's better than Sevruga."--Frank Rich) It doesn't matter. The point is separating people from something which they have worked for, to better isolate them.

And anyway, I'm a made prog so I cannot be a gold digger. I have the reverse philosopher's stone: everything that I touch turns to complete and utter shit, because I care.

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umm, we seem to be finding more and more evidence of capitalism & profit making from these profiteers. This is not good- unless our glorious Father Theocritus can prove without a shadow of an Obama doubt, that any financial gains will be redistributed to the more worthy middle class (aka democrats) in a timely matter (which means before next Tuesday).

I demanded to have an up closer and personal examination of these profits to determine if in fact, we have real gold. (goody goody goody!)

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Fraulein, one of my attributes as a Made Prog is my ability to be very safe with OPM. I learned that lesson from every champagne socialist, parlor pink, and limousine liberal. From Marx, from Stalin, from Mao. From Slick Willie and now from His O'liness.In fact I am so tenderly solicitous of OPM that I fear that it will fall through a hole in a pocket and be lost, and not put to its own best use.Which is, this year, paying union thugs.For the Children™.

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Theo, I suppose those are Texas Night Crawlers you been digging up in your backyard?

(Be careful how you answer, anything you say can and will be used against you in the People's Court)

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Whoopie, that's the food for my proles. You know, the ones who do the lifting and toting. The ones who sign up for social-security checks, which I then take. The ones on disability, which I take.

There is only one thing wrong: I do not bother canning them. I do however let them rinse, or as some in Texas say, wrench, the things in water before downing. I then recycle the water to recover the top soil. Don't want that putting grit into a prole's gizzard.

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Don't throw that water out Theo, at my gulag we call it "soupe de ver" and the proles love it.

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Comrades,

Seems I missed something that the motion detectors picked up prior to the strange explosion and digging sounds.

Seems some selfish greedy slob was singing out there in the wilds of the Rancho in West Texas. I'm sure this has nothing to do with any unfounded suspicions of a gold discovery at the Rancho. Father Theo, if he was up to a little gold mining activity would surely have shared the wealth with the collective. He's just that type of Prog.


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Snoogie, what is with this rabbit thing? I don't need no stinkin rabbit hounding me; I have proles at the Rancho to do my bidding. Because I'm a Made Prog.

All of you little proglets don't understand the idea of a Made Prog. Ask David Gregory. He has no brain, and even people who love him would admit that. But he's a Made Prog. That means never having to say you have a head full of shit or that you think that you know more than anyone else or that you might even have to learn a few things.

Because you're a Made Prog. Ask David Gregory. He's proof that, well, posturing will get you to an anchor chair.

I have heard of David Gregory because of other reports. Is he some sort of news person on one of the legacy media stations? NBC, ABC, or CBS? Too bad that there's competition among them; otherwise they could husband their resources as they crash and burn.

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I twamp and twudge and twudge and twamp until I make my pile........ Oh, back to this Theo business. Father Theo a fine made prog such as yourself should be honored that rabbits are attracted to you. Why Jimmy Carter was also gifted with the rabbit attraction karma.

I've also been a little remiss in me manners. How are your cats? I hear they've been having it pretty good due to some recent change in circumstances around the ole Rancho.


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Snoogie, I keep having nightmares. All this Raging Baby stuff. Now I know that Raging Baby is as cool as can be, but why, really, raging baby?

I mean, we can make the baby rage when he's seven or eight or older. That's enough rage for a lifetime.

Oh. Empress. Hillary. Love. I did not for a second mean that we should abandon our rage, nor should we not inculcate it into our young. You know I am full of rage. You know what I am. You know that I adore rage.

................

She left. God but that bitch isn't happy unless everyone is set against everyone else. Gives her more stroke.


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Snoogie, thanks for that under cover video of Theo. It's clearly him, the red bandana and his lisp are dead give-aways.

And he's obviously convinced that he's about to strike it big, why else would the rabbit of no luck (Waznmentobe) be following him?

The People's math says 2 plus 2 equals some number yet to be determined by competent authority. And that number equals GUILTY!

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Whoopie, you ought not to share the Inner Secrets quite as freely as you do. Of course we infantilize all people so we can dictate to them. And the prog's most basic belief is that there is no such thing as personal responsibility--we accord responsibility. From each according to his ability, to each according to how we want to screw people over.

You shouldn't have shown a large man in a baby bed, with a ginormous woman taking charge of him. You realize that this is the twin sister of our Many Titted Empress, don't you?

We show union thugs shouting and rampaging. The same level of intelligence and the same lack of responsibility, with all that lovely destruction of other people's property and money.

Now where the hell are my Hummels?

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Here I thought all the excessive shoveling was simply removing thoughtcriminals, if you catch my drift. Why they are being placed on El Rancho is beyond me. I'd figure Theo,or me or you or anyone, would want to use it for what-have-you.

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Father Prog Theocritus wrote:
You shouldn't have shown a large man in a baby bed, with a ginormous woman taking charge of him. You realize that this is the twin sister of our Many Titted Empress, don't you?


The sister of the MTE? I thought it was Pinkie....Oops, now I'm dead

btw Theo, Bruno being such a fan of Carmen Miranda I thought he might like this:
https://waznmentobe.com/comedy/that-wou ... rabia.html

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Whoopie, I am going to positively murder Lagerfelt for stealing my millinery secrets. That is a design of a turban that I stole off a Sikh and that's a short "i" by the way.

Personally I think that Lagerfelt's "muse" ought not be an Italian model but rather Terpsichore, the muse of dance. All those light feet, you know.

Well, perhaps I ought to cut Lagerfelt some slack. When Bruno put on the turban, I couldn't keep his feet touching the ground, and he's 6'3" and #250.

But the main thing is that I designed that turban as a good disguise for the superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat that Laika, Noble Space Dog, beams down to us progs whenever there is a new talking point or character to assassinate or ballot box to recount, and recount, and recount, until the election is right.

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I think the slim profile of the murban would make it easier to bob one's head up and down...when praying I mean. Those chunky turbans the muslims wear now surely get in the way, especially when the object of worship is a fat belly.

(kids, don't try that at home)

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I have mixed feelings about the slim turban v the fat one. The fat one can hide old technology, say a tin-foil hat with vacuum tubes. This is powered of course by the febrile mind of the Prog wearing it. But it does make it hard to bow, and the indignity when some Shi-ite head bows and can't, er, get up. You know, old Progs get attached to their old turbans and when they get old, it's hard to carry all that baggage. For Progs never do the heavy lifting, do they?

All this to better effect more elections like yesterday's in upstate New York, where a RethugliKKKan was thrown out of a seat safe for 40 years for the RethugliKKKan party.

This is music to my ears. The greedy geezers in New York have just voted on their own death panels.

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Si, Father Prog,

Che' was on duty, as usual, and the lopsided vote in that "very special election"; so special, in fact, even that vile, lying, piece of crap, Rush Limbaugh.....spits on the floor in disgust... didn't know that it took place...Stalin be praised that I'm that good!, combined with the planted false" tea-party candidate", that did the trick.

So we can score one more congressman in our never-ending quest to take back our House!

Did I happen to mention that I am a tireless "advocate for our seniors"......please, mi amigo, no applause...just doing what a Made Prog is supposed to do.


Comrade Whoopie said:
And he's obviously convinced that he's about to strike it big, why else would the rabbit of no luck (Waznmentobe) be following him?

And BTW, comrade Whoopie...I just happen to have an excellent recipe for your RABBIT, so you had better call him off Theo......just sayin' (great site, buddy!)

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Che, let us hope that the inside-the-Beltway crowd will continue on as usual--into the paralysis of meetings and luncheons and so forth and do nothing, so that we can take advantage of the maxim of dear Rahm Emmanuel. Don't ever let a crisis go to waste, as we plot and scheme to steal and boss. For that's the true Prog Maxim: Lie so you can steal and boss.

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Father Prog Theocritus wrote:Che, let us hope that the inside-the-Beltway crowd will continue on as usual--into the paralysis of meetings and luncheons and so forth and do nothing, so that we can take advantage of the maxim of dear Rahm Emmanuel. Don't ever let a crisis go to waste, as we plot and scheme to steal and boss. For that's the true Prog Maxim: Lie so you can steal and boss.

I just received a signal from Col. 7.62....

Dateline: November 6, 2012
From: Mayor Rahm Emmanuel

Congratulations President Obama! With 97% of Chicago's precincts reporting you have received 100% of the vote. This trend is continuing in all urban areas throughout the USA. Special thanks goes to .....bzzzp...bzzzp...<some kind of interference, excuse me while I adjust the Temporal Time RDF> and Commisarka....bzzzp...and The Gold Dredging Company for their generous redistribution of their wealth for the Common Good™. Without this gold which was dug For The Children™, The Poor™, The Single Mothers who were The Hardest Hit™ and the Seniors on Fixed (we fixed that, didn't we?) Income Who Depend on Social Security™we would not have been able to buy votes Make A Difference™!

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Laika, if you have a new version of the Superheterodyne, Phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat with Pamela Anderson boobage shielding, and I don't have it, how can I possibly receive all the Current Wisdom from your orbiting satellite?

Does this mean that I'll have to get to know Harold Pinter? After all, he's just about as good a source of the Current Wisdom as anyone I know. He talks left and lives right, grasping every dollar he can while preaching the evils of capitalism and AmeriKKKa.

What a guy.

But I'd rather have my Current Truth from your capsule, dear Laika, than from a clapped out old fraud.

I'll take the clapped-out old fraud that I know.


 
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