Hurricanes have been named after women for decades, a trend that historically has provided some appreciation for strong women in an otherwise backward, patriarchal, misogynist rape culture. Hurricanes are strong, powerful, independent, and not only have no need of men, but scatter male oppressors and toss them like dry leaves. In short, a hurricane is everything a feminist ought to be, and hurricanes used to be the one of the few things in American culture where dominant women were rightly feared and respected.

But all that changed with Trump. Hurricane Florence was expected to make landfall at least with the strength of a category 3, ready to wreak havoc and righteous vengeance on the South for its whiteness, redneckedness, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, bitter clingers, and chain of Waffle Houses.*

Instead we got a hurricane downgraded to a brief category 2 and then very quickly to a tropical storm. A CNN reporter was humiliated for allegedly over-dramatizing the force of the winds because two Southern white males (doubtless Russian trolls) show their usual contempt for women by strolling casually in the background.

That's right, thanks to Trump and his Russian puppet masters, a once powerful woman has been category shamed into insignificance. Who would have thought that Hurricane Florence who caused men to cringe and flee in fear would be the first victim of her landfall while Trump and Putin laugh maniacally over a bottle of vodka?

RIP Old Girl, and know that you will live on in our hearts. Some of us still care and some of us still find inspiration in your example.

*ushanka tip to People's Meteorological Psychologist Ivan the Stakhanovets for his insights into the personalities of hurricanes