Komrades!!!

There were once heddy times not to many moons ago when the balance of loyal subjects comrades here on the Cube were.... well... LOYAL!

But as of late, I find my Progressive moral being sapped by SOME people (...and you know who you are...) who lack confidence in Die Führer's capability to lead us to ultimate victory! And we are more than a year away from the election!

Even in Libya, there were several state news media anchors who waved guns about and swore to battle to the death! Yet here on the HMS Cube, the die Ratten der Flucht vor dem Schiff!

I am tired of the whinging babies who moan at every inconsequential drop in the polls or every meaningless rise in the unemployment numbers... and start criticising the Die Führer behind HIS back. Do not they understand that polls and elections are meaningless! Do not they realise that MORE unemployed rubes means more voters in need of government "compassion™ ".


Apparently, many did not undertake their loyalty oath to Dear Leader (AP&PBUH) without some mental reservation and/or purpose of evasion... And frankly, I do not find that very progressive... not at all! In fact, I feel quite certain that there may be several here that are actually (gasp!) Tea-rrorist SPYS!

I have studied the archives very closely, and discoverd that it has been quite some time since the last good purge here on the Cube. We have become much too slack in our party discipline... perhaps this was to expose the "DIS-loyal opposition"

So! As a loyal Inner Party MADE PROG, it is my pleasure duty to announce a good ole-school Stalinist style PURGE!!!


[highlight=#ffff00]Yes, friends! We're going to clean house... you know... midnight knocks on the door... the black vans with the big goons who swerve into your path by the pavement to scoop you up... gangs stringing up diserters from the nearest street lamp...show trials...kangaroo courts... the fatal denouncements... the psychiatric hospital referrals... and of course the EXECUTIONS (public...of course)!
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Yes... I'm talkin' OLE school! You know the kind of senseless purges where even the most loyal comments could be misconstrued as disloyal...and EVERYONE never left home without their little blue book!

~
But wait! There's more... If you file an E-indictment on the Cube in a denouncement that leads to a fair trial and a proper hanging... you may receive an additional ration of Chocolate and receive your choice of confectionary delights from the Peoples' Wet Goods store... {See Below for more offer details}


Bring Out the Long Knives!
Let the Purges Begin!!!

Some restrictions do apply; not valid in all stores; made progs exempt from indictment; failure to receive a valid conviction against fellow party members may have unintended side effects such as insomnia, hair loss, drooping members, uneven weight loss (especially above the neck), shock therapy, acute lead poisoning, etc. etc....

Comrade!!!! I urge caution here!!! Our MTE, Empress Hillary, may become annoyed with you! You are treading dangerously close to his/her turf!

--
ZB

Dearest Raum......I hope you don't mind that I gave the MTE a helmet
that's a little more Stalinesque. After all, she sure is.

Comrades! Hi ya doin'? I used to be "mitrokhinkgb", but I purged that personality out of my system. 5 soft Tacos and a Big Gulp did the job. Now my true self can come to light as "KarlMarxJr." It is closer to the spirit of the glorious struggle that we have before us. All I need is help from my wonderful comrades-in-arms in producing an appropriate "avatar" (that means a picture ) to fully express my personality as a decendant of the "Holy One", my father Karl Marx himself. Any help is appreciated. So cry from the highest rooftops, "Four More Years!"

Karl Marx Jr. ...... I know your uncle..... one of the elite intellegentsia of the Party.
You should be proud !



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Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Comrade!!!! I urge caution here!!! Our MTE, Empress Hillary, may become annoyed with you! You are treading dangerously close to his/her turf!

--
ZB

Zampolit:

If he/she rises up against Dear Leader (AP&PBUH) he/she, too, will be purged! He/She knows that it is in him/her the party's best interest for him/her to cede his/her turf. In fact, he/she is probably already in the top two on the "watch list."

A GOOD comrade would know that!

Where shall we send the bill for the bullets used in your execution?

Krasnodar wrote:

Hillary Helmut.jpg

Dearest Raum......I hope you don't mind that I gave the MTE a helmet
that's a little more Stalinesque. After all, she sure is.

Ja, Ja. That will do nicely.... Indeed, either helmet is applicable.

But I am troubled, Krasnodar... Is this perhaps a sycophantic attempt to curry favor? We will have no apple polishers in this organisation! Is that clear?

I would advise one not to to be too eager to stand out (as it were) when there is a purge running.

{Sigh} ...You see! This is exactly what I am talking about! It has been so long since we have executed a good purge, no one even knows how to properly BEHAVE during the bloody thing!

Dear Comrade REG ....... I most sinceriously thank you for your "heads-up", sir.

My earlier post was not meant as an attempt to curry favor....
besides, I hate spicy food...... It has numerous disagreements with my internal organs.

It is just my view point that we as The Collective should always be mindful of our Progressive heritage. One would be hard pressed to find a more suitable candidate than our very own Josef "Good ol' Uncle Joe" Stalin.

This cannot be!!! I am LOYAL to the party I say!!!

Tovarichi wrote:
This cannot be!!! I am LOYAL to the party I say!!!

Me thinks he doth protesteth too much! What do you other Comrades have to say?

Time for a purge? Just try some of the latest shipments of beets to the gulag.....

Groucho Marxist wrote:Time for a purge? Just try some of the latest shipments of beets to the gulag.....

{deep sigh, followed by a rolling of the eyes and a shaking of the head}

Groucho...Whist the the cleansing properties of raw beets are well know (and highly recommended in the case of SOME comrades I will not mention here), we are not engaged in that kind of PURGE!

Mein Obama in Himmel!

Is it any wonder morale is so low in the progressive movement?? We cannot even get a decent purge going without a inane commentary from the Peanut Gallery!
Keep this up and we'll start making PEANUT BUTTER!!! Do I make myself clear???
Now damn it! I want some denouncements!

Funny you should call for a purge comrade. Several high ranking members of the Inner Party have been meeting in secret to discuss that very thing. Being group leaders they have the authority to un-make Progs with a mouse click (while they themselves can not be demoted).

Ironically, your name seems to be at the top of the list (and it's a very short list indeed).

Most loyal comrade Whoopie, I must denounce you for your revealing the revelations which had been previously, unrevealed.Next you'll be telling all the gossip you've over heard.

THERE IS NO INNER PARTY. THERE IS NO SECRET BUNKER. THERE ARE NO SECRET MEETINGS. CAN YOU PEOPLE GET THIS STRAIGHT FOR ONCE? REST ASSURED, I WILL BRING THIS UP AT THE NEXT SECRET MEETING IN THE BUN--OOPS.

Comrade Whoopie:

Message received, loud and clear! I totally concur, sir.

Ah...I remember the last purges. They were so old-school communists. The screams of people as they were dragged to vans. The small children left at re-education camps and crying for their parents. The smell of gun oil and boot polish as hoards of troops kicked their way into churches and drug out the pastors. The hopeless looks on people's faces as they were dragged kicking and screaming to tribunals for trial. THe look of horror on their face as, at 5pm they were sitting down to dinner with their family, and at 6:30PM their family was dead and they were facing a firing squad. Oh the days of gloy. We lied and lied on people we did not even know and watched as they were marched off to the gulags. What communist joy. We comrades laughed and laughed. If only we can bring that kind of frivolity to the good ole' USofA.

Comrade Kaputnik, the glorious world of Progressive Next Tuesday IS nearly upon us! November 2012 is all it will take.

And, as was so eloquently spoken recently prior to Dear Leader's speech in Michigan by Union Leader Jimmy Hoffa - "Let's take those sons of bitches out!", referring, of course, to tea-rrorists and Rethuglikkkans (Dear Leader rightly said later that he was proud of Mr. Hoffa), and in Cincinnati by Dear Leader's second in command, Comrade Biden, who referred to keeping "the barbarians from the gates" when telling union thugs members that it was up to them.

Comrades, I am feeling more tingles up my legs every day!

A tingle, huh ?[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
After reading about the inspired and uplifting speech that Jimmy Hoffa gave today,
I think I just felt a trickle down mine !

Judge Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Most loyal comrade Whoopie, I must denounce you for your revealing the revelations which had been previously, unrevealed.Next you'll be telling all the gossip you've over heard.

Dearest Frau, I join in your denouncement of Comrade Herr Whoopie if for no other reason than to denounce my favorite target of denouncement!
I award you three extra squares of bootie wipe for using three forms of reveal in the same sentence.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:

Judge Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Most loyal comrade Whoopie, I must denounce you for your revealing the revelations which had been previously, unrevealed.Next you'll be telling all the gossip you've over heard.

Dearest Frau, I join in your denouncement of Comrade Herr Whoopie if for no other reason than to denounce my favorite target of denouncement!
I award you three extra squares of bootie wipe for using three forms of reveal in the same sentence.

Most loyal and commendable Comrade Buffoonery, mucho graciousness for your joining in the joint denouement of un-jointed Comrade Whoopie (such a serious fall he had last week... perhaps had you not passed out in the latrine door??) Whoopie is known for his over-sized mouth appendages, which seem to be in overdrive.
I will, with humble pride, accept said bottie wipes. My redistributed wipes have not yet arrived from the redistribution station, stationed at Groucho Marxist abode. I am starting to have concerns.... I am thinking someone might be hording?

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Funny you should call for a purge comrade. Several high ranking members of the Inner Party have been meeting in secret to discuss that very thing. Being group leaders they have the authority to un-make Progs with a mouse click (while they themselves can not be demoted).

Ironically, your name seems to be at the top of the list (and it's a very short list indeed).

Comrade Whoopie:

Funny you should mention that... I was called to a secret Inner Party meeting (the minutes of which were not recorded for no apparent reason) in which a certain recently made, Made Prog were given the honour to announce the very purge to which you refer. Funny that I do not recall your presence there.

As some Made Progs have commission to lead secret death squads, it would not be very prudent to question the current state of affairs (especially ones that call certain Made Progs into question)... especially as your name appears upon a very LONG list -- a train manifest to be exact.

I may however be able to remove your name from said list...if you are able to make it worth my while... I am sure I can place Che Gourmet on the list in your place... A simple denouncement from you is all it will take.... Just say the word. Trust me, you will NOT like the destination of said train... at least not for very long.

sovietskayakaputnik wrote:Ah...I remember the last purges. They were so old-school communists. The screams of people as they were dragged to vans. The small children left at re-education camps and crying for their parents. The smell of gun oil and boot polish as hoards of troops kicked their way into churches and drug out the pastors. The hopeless looks on people's faces as they were dragged kicking and screaming to tribunals for trial. THe look of horror on their face as, at 5pm they were sitting down to dinner with their family, and at 6:30PM their family was dead and they were facing a firing squad. Oh the days of gloy. We lied and lied on people we did not even know and watched as they were marched off to the gulags. What communist joy. We comrades laughed and laughed. If only we can bring that kind of frivolity to the good ole' USofA.

Indeed!

This is the PRECISE arbitrary chaos nostalgia I we are attempting to refurbish. Have you any names to refer to the Stasi, Com. soviet? The lack of denouncements from you appear to indicate a lack of loyalty on your part.

Heresay evidence may be admissible if the traitors in question persons-of-interest are interesting enough.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:

sovietskayakaputnik wrote:Ah...I remember the last purges. They were so old-school communists. The screams of people as they were dragged to vans. The small children left at re-education camps and crying for their parents. The smell of gun oil and boot polish as hoards of troops kicked their way into churches and drug out the pastors. The hopeless looks on people's faces as they were dragged kicking and screaming to tribunals for trial. THe look of horror on their face as, at 5pm they were sitting down to dinner with their family, and at 6:30PM their family was dead and they were facing a firing squad. Oh the days of gloy. We lied and lied on people we did not even know and watched as they were marched off to the gulags. What communist joy. We comrades laughed and laughed. If only we can bring that kind of frivolity to the good ole' USofA.

Indeed!

This is the PRECISE arbitrary chaos nostalgia I we are attempting to refurbish. Have you any names to refer to the Stasi, Com. soviet? The lack of denouncements from you appear to indicate a lack of loyalty on your part.

Heresay evidence may be admissible if the traitors in question persons-of-interest are interesting enough.

INDEED, Comrade REM?I can safely, say that I was not the chef that fed those families!! You have, perhaps another bit of "hearsay" that would point the finger at a true hero of the people?? I do admit, if somewhat reluctantly, to not denouncing often enough, but, in my defense, (like I need one....spits on the floor...) I am a very busy revolutionary! I do tend to speak with my fine, pearl-handled pistolas first, not always able to stop my itchy trigger finger. This unfortunately, cuts down on the number of denouncements.....laughs and puffs on his fine cuban cigar.... So, Comrade Rahm, perhaps you would do better to look elsewhere for your so-called, traitors amigo?

Che Gourmet wrote:

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:

sovietskayakaputnik wrote:Ah...I remember the last purges. They were so old-school communists. The screams of people as they were dragged to vans. The small children left at re-education camps and crying for their parents. The smell of gun oil and boot polish as hoards of troops kicked their way into churches and drug out the pastors. The hopeless looks on people's faces as they were dragged kicking and screaming to tribunals for trial. THe look of horror on their face as, at 5pm they were sitting down to dinner with their family, and at 6:30PM their family was dead and they were facing a firing squad. Oh the days of gloy. We lied and lied on people we did not even know and watched as they were marched off to the gulags. What communist joy. We comrades laughed and laughed. If only we can bring that kind of frivolity to the good ole' USofA.

Indeed!

This is the PRECISE arbitrary chaos nostalgia I we are attempting to refurbish. Have you any names to refer to the Stasi, Com. soviet? The lack of denouncements from you appear to indicate a lack of loyalty on your part.

Heresay evidence may be admissible if the traitors in question persons-of-interest are interesting enough.

INDEED, Comrade REM?I can safely, say that I was not the chef that fed those families!! You have, perhaps another bit of "hearsay" that would point the finger at a true hero of the people?? I do admit, if somewhat reluctantly, to not denouncing often enough, but, in my defense, (like I need one....spits on the floor...) I am a very busy revolutionary! I do tend to speak with my fine, pearl-handled pistolas first, not always able to stop my itchy trigger finger. This unfortunately, cuts down on the number of denouncements.....laughs and puffs on his fine cuban cigar.... So, Comrade Rahm, perhaps you would do better to look elsewhere for your so-called, traitors amigo?

I had hoped you would not require such a public show trial... but... well... Okay then:

As I recall Komrade... You were purged from Coo-bah for your ineptitude in the post-revolution only to find yourself standing before a firing squad in Bol-ee-bee-ah... This is evidence enough that Castro CARRIED your incompetent hide through the swamps of Coo-bah (his strength evidenced by the fact that he is STILL breathing).

That you couldn't hack it in Bol-ee-bee-ah or Coo-bah... (your t-shirt sales not withstanding) either during or after the guerrilla movements tells me that you should have sought a job with the TSA or the USPS.


Furthermore... These mindless purges have... well... a mind of their own -- so to speak. Once your name is on the train manifest the "why" behind it should never be questioned... it smacks of disloyalty....which is what got your name on the list in the first place!

KarlMarxJr. wrote:Comrades! Hi ya doin'? I used to be "mitrokhinkgb", but I purged that personality out of my system. 5 soft Tacos and a Big Gulp did the job. Now my true self can come to light as "KarlMarxJr." It is closer to the spirit of the glorious struggle that we have before us. All I need is help from my wonderful comrades-in-arms in producing an appropriate "avatar" (that means a picture ) to fully express my personality as a decendant of the "Holy One", my father Karl Marx himself. Any help is appreciated. So cry from the highest rooftops, "Four More Years!"

Welcome KarlMarxJr.

Here is your first standard issue Avatar. Just right click on the image and click on "copy image location, then paste it into the appropriate box on your profile/avatar page.

That's no son of mine!

Comrade Marxist,

Spoken like a true progressive. Bravo!

Check Commadore Snoogie Woogum's DNA

Comrade RaumAfter making a few discrete inquiries, I received this lovely photo in my People's communications mail.....(laughs and spits on the floor..)Looks like I have nothing to fear from the POTUS's favorite ballerina, eh comrade?......saunters off laughing uncontrollably...just wait 'till the guys see this..ooo..I'm soo afraid..... such a stupid puta...we'll have him dancing his "Swan Lake" in no time.......MADE PROG, mi culo...LOL

The Party no longer finds it necessary to drag the people off into the night to an undisclosed location. The undisclosed location comes to the people. Adjustments are made on site.