Comrades, it's time to start appointing justices from the Cube so that the bench will look more like the Collective. A nominee should be chosen primarily on qualifications of diversity above all else. I hardly need to remind anyone here that legal experience and adherence to the Constitution are utterly outdated. In fact, if you do need reminding, we have very effective ways of reminding you. I digress. Some of my nominees include...

...me. I'm 1/3 Irish and can claim centuries of oppression. I'm also the four time recipient of the coveted Hero of Cubist Labor medal.

...Pinkie. She's a girl.

...Pupovich. He's an animal.

...Betinov. He's disabled.

...Theocritus. He cares - way more than you.

Now here's the beauty of appointing Cubists: since the Constitution doesn't actually specify a number of justices (LOL!, as if it matters whether it did or not), we could theoretically all be appointed. We could declare all bans on purges to be unconstitutional, and simply annihilate those who oppose us humanely and compassionately put to rest certain disturbed and tormented individuals. This is our moment, Comrades. If we pull this off, we will be ready to usher in the Socialist Utopia of Next Tuesday and ensure the inevitability of the Glorious Revolution once and for all. Another century is all we need to show the world that if it's done right, we really, really can make this system work.

I believe Pupovich is the only Cubist who qualifies because he is not white, not that Commissarka Pinkie wouldn't make the court a most interesting place to be (especially for the other judges), and Betinov, although he is disabled does not have the rabid enforcement of rules uppermost in his mind at all times, as does Marshall Pupovich, and Comrade Theocritus may care, but he is not only white, he comes from BushitlerLand, and that won't do.

What about Sister Massively Opiated. Being a female, as well as opiated she would be an ideal choice for the SCOTUS. In fact she may be able to get in touch with her Inner Comrades(TM) so well, we would never know how she would rule on something.

Colonel 7.62,

Now that you have a military title, perhaps you could be a token member of the armed forces, after all, many leaders have proclaimed over and over how they support the troops. Nevertheless you would still need to henna your skin from crown to toe to pass the color test, and being male, well I shudder to think what would need to be done in that department to prepare you for consideration.

Leninka, The Revolutionary Red Guard IS the armed forces. Despite being white and male, I do have at least 14 known inner comrades on which to draw on, ranging from disabled female, to asian. I'm consulting with Marshal Pupovich in order to gain more Inner Comrades(TM) which may also pass the required social tests. I'm thinking a black/asian/native american blend hermaphrodite in a wheelchair who is also deaf and blind might be another suitable Inner Comrade(TM).

Remember in United States the leader supports the troops. In Glorious World of Next Tuesday, Troops support the leader!

Of course, with your Inner Comrades™, you may be the most eligible comrade of all!
And if this black/asian/native American blend hermaphrodite in a wheelchair who is also deaf and blind, was a direct descendant of Mohamed, so that he could be very compassionate and understand of all those unjustly accused and tortured by the former infidel Bushitler, then, perhaps your Outer Comrade appearance might be overlooked.

And, once you were installed in the hallowed halls of justice, with each decision you are confronted with making, you could draw on the appropriate Inner Comrade™ depending on the case. I would highly recommend adding the Inner Comrade™ of disgruntled legal secretary who knows lawyers inside and out, lest those who appear before you try any cute tricks (especially with your Inner Comrade's™ lack of sight and hearing).

I will have to have an intensive session with Pupovich to ensure that I get the appropriate Inner Comrades(TM). I'm thinking it may just be cheaper to have Pinkie whack me over the head with her shovel a few times.

Comrade Komissar, a most instructive video.

Of course the correct answer is that ALL members of The Inner Circle(TM) be appointed to SCOTUS, with Comrade Red Square as the Chief Justice, and Comissarika Pinkie also doubling as the bailiff. With all the Inner Circle(TM) as justices, then we would know that true Socialist Justice (pat. apl'd for) would be served.

Leninka wrote:I believe Pupovich is the only Cubist who qualifies because he is not white, not that Commissarka Pinkie wouldn't make the court a most interesting place to be (especially for the other judges), and Betinov, although he is disabled does not have the rabid enforcement of rules uppermost in his mind at all times, as does Marshall Pupovich, and Comrade Theocritus may care, but he is not only white, he comes from BushitlerLand, and that won't do.

You know, he's one of the few animals we have on the cube (Dog). If you notice, all the people on the court are, well, people! If we put a non-human on the court, there is better diversity!