Comrades, normally I would adhere to party doctrine and never succumb to Han Solo's tendency to "have a bad feeling" but out of fear of losing my quarterly toilet paper ration I must report to you all the most grave of news.

Just a week ago today the Supreme Court of the United States, albeit a non-binding part of government according to President Bosh, just ruled in DC v Hellerthat *gasp* the people have the right to bear AK-47s and M249 squad-automatics! That's a job for the military and law enforcement since they're ordained by the state, not by John Wayne movies!! This is disturbing news comrades; how can the state force work efficiency bymaking people go to work and pay 80% of their money to charity so Uncle Obama can wear nice boots if the people can resist? How can the safety of criminals be ensured when dastardly things like the Castle Doctrine allows untrained sheep to shoot home intruders who are only trying to redistribute the wealth like Robin Hood only without green tights?

It's been a week since the ruling and it's effects are already being felt. The uneducated in gun crime are putting up signssaying"private property" and "You will be shot and killed." They even try toput confusing letters that I guess is some local law. Privacy is contrary to the common good so if it isn't an open house, I say it should be... their personal art collection would look great in John Edward's fuel-efficient house anyway.

On top of that, people are already questioning the handgun bans in Chicago. How is organized crime supposed to conduct business and maintain order where law enforcement dare not go if the people can defend themselves? Not to mention it means no-knock warrants are considerably more dangerous now that plain-clothes officers have to actually show their badges and identify themselves. How can they operate with so much red tape?! After all, if you have nothing to hide, then you should have no problem letting in the local SWAT team and let them sift through your good China like a bulldozer.

Then there's Kalifornia; our place of refuge and source of wisdom in these dangerous times. We need to keep all firearms with pistol grips,barrel shrouds (whatever those are), bayonet mounts, and chambered in .50BMG outlawed! Just because they only exist in fiction, doesn't mean the civilians should have them! Just look at what these assault weapons can do!!

Just look at this test conducted at the Metreonin San Francisco!! It can clear A WHOLE ROOM WITH ONE SHOT and, as you can tell by the tester's health gauge in the Heads-Up Display, it does not injure the user!! Imagine what emo boy could have done at Virginia Tech with this fictional weapon of mass destruction!!

These are troubling times comrades as the country we know and love to hate is spiraling downwards into a John Wayne movie where the fight scenes goes on forever. The people must not be allowed to arm themselves, even for the sake of defense, for in a perfect world we'll have armed police officers and guardsman on every street corner. It solved the campus crisis of the 1970s and it'll solve our issues of racism, homophobia, and fear or wicker furniture.

How many oppressed minority people have been savagely murdered by home owners or shop keepers when they were just trying to make a living in a racist world? The government refuses to give them more free money so they are forced to go get it themselves. They are heroes of the Revolution!

This is genocide! I tell you; genocide!

Legal gun ownershiop is a plot by the Secret Government to kill minorities. We must redistribute guns from the haves to the have-nots!

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Premier Betty wrote:<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Cj7_55JPJO8&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

BAN THEM ALL!!

This is terrible Comrades. This sounds suspiciously like people have rights! If they have the freedom to own firearms next they will want the freedom of speech. Not to mention how can The glorious Obamaking keep people depressed and ignorant if they can defend themselves.,

Fear not comrades.... this "court" specified "the people" shall have a right to bear arms. Yet this same court wisely ignores the unborn as "people" so how far a stretch is it to define "the people" as only those with Party membership? Should we start calling ordinary proles as "people?" I think not!

What should we call them then?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Fear not comrades.... this "court" specified "the people" shall have a right to bear arms. Yet this same court wisely ignores the unborn as "people" so how far a stretch is it to define "the people" as only those with Party membership? Should we start calling ordinary proles as "people?" I think not!

A very astute observation Marshal

Premier Betty wrote:What should we call them then?

We'll call them what we have always called them: The morally unwashed children. That way we can also lump them in when we say that we have banned guns "For the Children™."

Premier Betty wrote:What should we call them then?

Claim them as dependents, then send your money offshore in a complex money-laundering scheme to support the drugs trade. This way you can utilize the fetus flusher, make lots of money, and complain about our national heritage being lost when you're doing absolutely nothing to help.

Worked for Kerry's wife.