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Karl Marx to resign, ditch legacy due to sexual misconduct

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By Oleg Atbashian
First published in FrontPage Mag


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The father of scientific socialism and an inspirational figure to many leading Democrats, Karl Marx has announced that he is resigning as a seminal thinker and is asking all his followers, especially women, to forgive him and forget his doctrine of class conflict and communist internationalism due to allegations of sexual abuse of his female aide and a criminal conspiracy to cover it up.

In his remarks, the author of the Communist Manifesto stated, "This decision is not about me. It's about the workers of the world. It's become clear that I can't both continue to deal with my history of sexual misconduct (some of which I remember differently) and at the same time remain an effective messianic leader of the oppressed in their struggle against capitalist exploitation."

Marx continued, "As a white cisgendered heterosexual male, I have cheated on my wife, sexually assaulted my subordinate, and otherwise abused my power and privilege to hurt and victimize women. I therefore feel that I no longer have the right, nor the moral authority to defend my philosophy of class victimization, to incite class hatred, provoke violent anti-bourgeois revolutions, and establish proletarian dictatorships."

The pressure on the leader of the exploited masses to step down has been mounting for days, ever since the New York Times broke the story about how Mr. Marx, a husband and a father of three, sexually exploited his longtime family maid, Helen Demuth. Fearing to lose her job in a volatile capitalist economy, Ms. Demuth yielded to her employer's sexual harassment. What started as inappropriate touching and groping, soon escalated into what legally amounts to sexual assault in the workplace, which continued daily for years in Mr. Marx's home, where Mrs. Marx and their daughters also resided.

According to The New York Times, the repeated sexual abuse of Ms. Demuth by her employer, compounded by the unavailability of women's health services, resulted in the birth of a male child. Fearing that this would destroy his reputation of a rebel against bourgeois morals, Karl Marx organized a conspiracy to cover up both the affair and the baby. His co-conspirators were his close friend and collaborator Friedrich Engels and Ms. Demuth - a powerless victim who was intimidated into silence by the men in positions of power.

The conspiracy involved abandoning the child, Freddy Demuth, who ended up being one of the many fatherless inner-city clients of foster care. Upon discovering the truth, Karl Marx's wife, Jenny Marx, committed suicide. Their daughter, Laura, killed herself several years later.

Some House Democrats called on Karl Marx to leave office last Thursday, increasing pressure on the veteran revolutionary thinker to abandon his theories of social justice and economic equality amid serious allegations about his sexual transgressions, child abandonment, the cover-up, and infidelity that caused his wife and daughter to kill themselves.

Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) tried to defend Mr. Marx by blaming the attacks on Prussia's meddling, adding that "Karl Marx is an icon in our academia." Even if some of it is true, she said, "this episode only shows us how essentially human Marx is. He has the same fears, despairs, and guilts that afflict everyday Americans. That doesn't mean, of course, that we can equate Karl Marx with Donald Trump or Roy Moore."

On Monday, however, more than half of the Democrats in the Senate, including party leadership, called for Marx to step down, fearing that "creepy" evidence of his duplicity and hypocrisy might tarnish their political futures and weaken efforts to unseat President Trump.

"I consider Karl Marx a beacon of progress and greatly respect his accomplishments, but he has a higher obligation to his followers, and he should step down immediately," Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said in a statement.

In a change of heart, Pelosi later clarified her position. "Zero tolerance means consequences for everyone," she said at Tuesday's news conference. "No matter how great the legacy, it is no license to harass or discriminate. In fact, it's even more disappointing."

Some observers have pointed out the historical inevitability of Marx's downfall as the leading political theorist, whose teachings about a worldwide conspiracy of oppressors against their victims have given birth to modern feminism, without which renouncing Karl Marx's legacy due to his sexual misconduct and his overall creepiness would have been impossible.

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This story finally explains why Skousen's 1958 book was titled The Naked Communist.

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As for Marx's wife Jenny's suicide, the Democrats have exaggerated for dramatic effect. Or they confused her with another Marx's daughter because all of his daughters were equally named Jenny. Two of them committed suicide and the third one died at 38 before she could kill herself.

Jenny Julia Eleanor Marx - youngest daughter, herself a socialist activist. In March 1898, after discovering that Edward Aveling, her partner and a prominent British Marxist, had secretly married a young actress in June of the previous year, she committed suicide by poison. She was 43.

Jenny Laura Marx - married a French socialist Paul Lafargue and the two committed suicide together in 1911, having decided they had nothing left to give to the movement to which they had devoted their lives. Lafargue left a suicide note that ended with "Long live Communism! Long Live the Second International."

Vladimir Lenin spoke at their funeral in Paris. His wife later said that Lenin told her: "If one cannot work for the Party any longer, one must be able to look truth in the face and die like the Lafargues."

And that also clears up the Party position on the Death Panels.

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Red Square wrote:This story finally explains why Skousen's 1958 book was titled The Naked Communist.

As for Marx's wife Jenny's suicide, the Democrats have exaggerated for dramatic effect. Or they confused her with another Marx's daughter because all of his daughters were equally named Jenny. Two of them committed suicide and the third one died at 38 before she could kill herself.

Jenny Julia Eleanor Marx - youngest daughter, herself a socialist activist. In March 1898, after discovering that Edward Aveling, her partner and a prominent British Marxist, had secretly married a young actress in June of the previous year, she committed suicide by poison. She was 43.

Jenny Laura Marx - married a French socialist Paul Lafargue and the two committed suicide together in 1911, having decided they had nothing left to give to the movement to which they had devoted their lives. Lafargue left a suicide note that ended with "Long live Communism! Long Live the Second International."

Vladimir Lenin spoke at their funeral in Paris. His wife later said that Lenin told her: [highlight=#FFFF00]"If one cannot work for the Party any longer, one must be able to look truth in the face and die like the Lafargues."[/highlight]

And that also clears up the Party position on the Death Panels.

Comrade Direktor,


Might this portend the mass suicide of the Progressive Caucus?


CC
(grave digging specialist)

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The NY Times article has a very dangerous line in it: "While researching this part of Marx's life, a part that contains many clues to the development of his ideas, I became convinced that many Marxists had built a wall of silence around this secret." This type of thing should NEVER BE WRITTEN DOWN. Whoever the author is, he must be dealt with quickly - long live the cover up! Long live the truth!

Children in this country are now taught about the infidelities of the Founding Fathers - Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton, etc. Let us never sully the Pure Righteous Communists, though.

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This is part of the vast right wing conspiracy. We all know that female genitals are property of the people, to be distributed to each according to his needs. Down with the bootie-hoarding bourgeois women! Long live the poontang distributing comradettes!

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Minitrue wrote:This is part of the vast right wing conspiracy. We all know that female genitals are property of the people, to be distributed to each according to his needs. Down with the bootie-hoarding bourgeois women! Long live the poontang distributing comradettes!
We assume, then, that (ahem) male hanging parts will also be redistributed? I will gladly aid in said redistribution if such talk continues.

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Minitrue wrote:This is part of the vast right wing conspiracy. We all know that female genitals are property of the people, to be distributed to each according to his needs. Down with the bootie-hoarding bourgeois women! Long live the poontang distributing comradettes!
We assume, then, that (ahem) male hanging parts will also be redistributed? I will gladly aid in said redistribution if such talk continues.
Comrade Cat, your selfless sacrifice for the benefit of the collective is exemplary.

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A related story appeared in The Mideast Beast (no date on their article). Ushanka tip to Pamela Geller.

ISIS Leader Resigns Amid Allegations of Respecting Women

ISIS was dealt a crippling political blow on Tuesday when its senior leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, resigned amid numerous allegations of respectful treatment of women. One accuser even described him allowing a female hostage to drive a motor vehicle. Another claimed he was known to not only ask, but to wait for consent before engaging in sexual acts.

ISIS issued a rare public comment, saying, “We have a clear moral stance against the fair and dignified treatment of women, and with that in mind, it is time for him to resign.”

In his resignation speech, al-Baghdadi apologized to all of the women he did not harm and to his fellow ISIS members who truly believed in his hate speech. “There are so many young men who I have inspired with hate, bigotry, and misogyny… and I feel like I let them all down. #VoteRoyMoore.”

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Comrades! You have again proven that actual events are much more entertaining than any fiction, as no one could write a script more ironic than what actually happened. If only Comrade Stalin was still here to read such glorious stories! He would have us all shot. So would Comrade Bernie, and of course the 'Dear Leader', who is, you know, the smartest person in the room. Just go ask him, he'll tell you all about it. Long Live the Revolution™, as long as I'm in charge!

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If only Marx had known Sexual Harassment Panda...



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RedDiaperette wrote:... male hanging parts will also be redistributed? I will gladly aid in said redistribution ...
Minitrue wrote:... Comrade Cat, your selfless sacrifice for the benefit of the collective is exemplary.
Now, Comrades, this exemplifies a most decorous attitude!

Maxitru.. Doubleplustrue progressive cooperation!
International! Intergender! Interspeciesist!
Scientific Neo-Marxism, like, forever!

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I don't know what this means but I found it on the internet so it must mean something!

(I'm guessing C.I.A.!!)
.

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Comrade Putout wrote:I don't know what this means but I found it on the internet so it must mean something!
[highlight=#ffff00](I'm guessing C.I.A.!!)[/highlight]

Or perhaps "C.Y.A."? -- where "C" may stand for "covet" as well as "cover"?


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Genosse Dummkopf - great minds think alike. The Specter of Pussy™ haunting America is also a quote of my latest manifesto in FrontPage, soon to be reposted on the People's Cube. Perhaps this picture could also be posted there as an illustration.

In fact, this Marx story came as an offshoot of the bigger one I was writing...

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Red Square wrote:... my latest manifesto in FrontPage, soon to be reposted on the People's Cube ...
tee-hee, a foreboding of your FPM manifesto already slipped into our Kubosphere, coded as poofff.

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I read the FPM piece, few days ago, freshly baked. (and later, indeed, wondered why there isn't yet a trace of it to see in TPC.)

A stunning (and korrekt!) passage from the (thunderous) Marx-Engelsian Spectre to a (hysteric-querulous, yet purge-capable) Specter of Pussy, the bridge being Gyno-Stalinism ‒ a brilliant analysis.

Don't explicitly remember silent thought-connections rising in the triangle ‒ your FPM-Marx-Sex story, plus FPM-Pussy-Specter, and the four talking-head-statuettes now ‒ but I'm pretty sure, there must have been such a subliminal process.

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Danke, Genosse, for reminding me. I just posted it on the Cube - expanded, updated, and illustrated.

American Gyno-Stalinism on the ruins of Shagadelic Utopia


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