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Let's get acquainted My name is Tomas!


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Hello Tomas. Welcome to The Peoples Cube. I am Premier Betty Leader of The New Peoples Red Army of Nixon clones, and chief of execution techniques. I am just one of the many members here who will gladly accept a new allay in our fight for an equality of all proletariat that we may use to our advantage.

Why don't you tell us about yourself?

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Hello Tomas,

My name is Meowsevich Punchenko, but you can call me Comrade Chairman and kneel before my *awesomeness*. But before I continue introducing myself, I am going to need a credit card number and whatever life-savings you might have lying around...

PROCESSING... ... ... ... ... Okay, it all checks out.

Where was I, oh yes. Errhmm... I am a very important person so be sure to write that down. I like to consider myself as a humble and meek Party apparatchik, not one who indulges in exploitive things like "work" or "responsibility". Yes, I am hedonistic and believe (like my other colleagues do) that your money is just too important to let you have any say so in. Therefore, your money IS my money which in turn becomes the... finish the sentence... the COLLECTIVES money (very good, Tomas, you are catching on quick).

You see, Tomas, you are too stupid and decadent to make choices for yourself (unless you are planning or currently getting an abortion) and thus we, The Proper Peoples chosen by the AmeriKKKan electorate, will "liberate" you from making any future "choices". Are you writing this all down? Okay, good.

Anyways, before you leave here today, we are going to need you to drop your wallet, jewelry and whatever else you may have in value (including family or children, we can use them to stuff envelopes for Her Excellency, Hillary Rodham Clinton) into the collection plate towards the exit to your left.

Thanks,

Meowsevich S. Punchenko (But you will address me as *Comrade Chairman*, Tomas. Write that down in case you forgot, that is very important to remember and I get a bit perturbed when people I consider “worthless” forget!)

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Hi Tomas,

I am Boris Sukavich Blokhayev. I serve The Party™ and The People™ as one of it's Zampolits (Political Officer) and Chief Margarita Researcher. I help the Party maintain discipline and strict adherence to Party™ orthodoxy, by instructing young students (future Party members) in Party™ methods.

I am also the Grand Inquisitor of the Reformed Church of Latter Day Climatology (The Goremons). Can I get an "Algore Ahkbar", anybody? In this capacity I seek out any instance where a Party Member™ has slipped up and committed "a Thought Crime". I deal with Thought Crime on a case by case basis. Remember, The Party™ is always watching you. Even your phone is tapped.

My Party assigned domicile is located in the People's Commonwealth of Virginia, Northern Sector, the People's Socialist County of Fairtax. Near Washingtion, the People's Socialist District of Columbia.

Our Many Tittied Empress, Her Excellency, Hillary Rodham Clinton is The Party's™ prima donna. We MUST, I repeat ... MUST, get Her Excellency elected to the U.S. Presidency.

A word of caution about Chairman Meow. He has stop taking his medication. This means he will be manifesting symptoms of grandeur and paranoia. Like the rest of us, you will just have learn to live it.

Welcome aboard, and remember this. Socialism, It's not just for breakfast anymore.

--

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Can I get an "Algore Ahkbar", anybody?

Algore Ahkbar!

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Good day Tomas,

I am Red The Progressive Fox. My duties as commissioner here are to support wild life by exaggerating the numbers on the papers and add a new species to the endangered animals list every Thursday to further give cause to the Global Warming case.
I also am commissioner over robotics as well, which duties include starting massive projects with millions of taxpayer's moneys so that the chairman can scrape the project and give me an honorable metal from the $.99 store.
We look forward to your participation on the cube, and be prepared to open that wallet.

Hail to her majesty!

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I am Red The Progressive Fox.

Wait... what happened to hedgehog?

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Truth be told, I always felt like just wanted to be a fox instead of a hedgehog. I tried therapy, but all the progressive doctors came to the same conclusion. I need to be changed into a fox and to spend millions of tax dollars on me. So I became the world's first trans-species. It gives me befits, like being able to call myself a minority because I am hunted all the time and cry about it.
But yes, since the transformation, I feel so-so-so, I can't describe it, such a wonderful feeling. I can only hope that being the first one to do this, that other animals will follow that have these same feelings and stop feeling oppressed by the kapitalist and their kapitalist right wing ways.

Oh, and btw, I some of you may have snapped on this a long time ago, but I found Mr. Tomas on anther board. It seems as if a member of the RNC has developed a virtual robot program that is spamming every single board on the internet. Check it out:

https://www.google.com/search?q=Let%27s ... rt=20&sa=N

This is scary; my department has not been able to come up with anything like it. But don't worry, once we break the code (which is probably the word “profits”, ew how I just hate that word), we will adapt the program to make it work for our cause by posting advertisements for Sicko on every board.

But in the meantime, Curse you! You are just mad that we progressive liberals now have the internet, as well as the TV! Well just keep it coming! You will be digging ditches soon enough!!!

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You sum kinda freak or something foxxy?? Im a lil wasted cause the republookans lokkin up mah skirty for ga sakes! Where is the scotch, get nanners more scotch dammit! Im not a loser... im a womy..... ZZzzzzz ZZzzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzzz <scratches ass> Zzzzzz Zzzzz ZZzzzz Zzzzz

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<crying> This is because I am a fox, isn't it?! First every hunter in Europe goes after me and my species, and now I get this from America?! <still crying> You just aren't sensitive to my feelings! <crying, crying, crying>

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Now, now Nancy, you must be tolerant of Red's... um... predicament. I know that it's just the vodka speaking, but you must reach deep inside yourself (not that way) and find the strength to come to your senses.

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I think we oughta lock up the booze for a while since Madam Speaker has a drinking problem now... not that there is anything wrong with that, I mean, it did get Ted Kennedy out of a lot of trouble and just look at where he is at today! My goodness, he is a total drunk AND a Senator of the United States! Mmm, what a role model that man is for The Children!


 
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