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Letter to the Editor

Ellie Light
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Dear People's Cube,

I've been living in your community and been a People's Cube reader for years. I've never written a letter to the editor before but I felt I needed to say a few words because so many people are turning against our president and this is very troubling to me.

A year ago if Obama had said that all we had to do was pass an economic stimulus plan, bail out failing companies that ordinarily would've gone into bankruptcy and have the government take over health care on the pretext that this would all jump start the economy we would've known we were being lied to. Back then, we recognized that the problems Obama inherited as president wouldn't go away overnight.

During his campaign, Obama clearly said that an economy that had been destroyed by years of Bush tax breaks and outdated free market principles couldn't be fixed in a year. Candidate Obama never feed us happy talk - which is why we elected him. He never led us in simple-minded chants of "Yes we can!" He never implied America could solve it's problems by waving a messianic personality like a magic wand. Instead he talked of hard choices and taking the difficult path. He always said that we would have to spend and spend and spend and never stop spending because that's what all his most trusted professors and friends assured him was what was needed to jump start the economy. He never imagined that so many people would sabotage his efforts. He never campaigned on anything other than straight talking truth. He didn't get elected because of stupid mindless cult of personality blather but for his hard-headed realism. He always said he would raise the deficit, not because that was the easy thing to do but because that was the difficult thing to do and we need to do the difficult thing because the difficult thing isn't the easy thing and Americans aren't afraid of doing the difficult thing which is why we went to the moon or something.

Right after Obama's election we seemed to grasp this. We understood that companies would be happy to squeeze more work out of frightened employees, and would be slow to hire more. We understood that the banks that had extorted us out of billions of dollars, were lying when they said they would share their recovery. We understood that a national consensus on health care would not come easily. Obama never thought he could just ram anything through Congress without anyone reading the legislation or discussing it. I never tried to just cram it down the nation's throat! President Obama is tired of these lies and slanders! Candidate Obama never claimed that he would try to circumvent the normal course of legislation and lawmaking, and we respected him for that.

But today, the president is being attacked as if he were a snake-oil salesman who promised that your problems would wash off in the morning! I never made such a promise! And I didn't write that last line with the mixed metaphor about snake oil salesmen and washing off. Dammit, I'm going to fire my writers. It's time for Americans to realize that governing is hard work, and that a president can't just wave a magic wand and fix everything. Please America, lighten-up - let's give Obama a break. Obama's tired of getting it from all sides and I'm starting to lose it.

Sincerely,

Ellie Light


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Dear Ms. Light,

You're becoming more prolific than that Anonymous guy, but you are right. Dear Leader spoke often of the tough choices that would have to be made. I never once witnessed him Dear Leader read from the teleprompter vague promises of the utopia that would be Hope TM and Change TM. Praise Lenin for your insight and clarity as well as your heartfelt, authentic and genuine concern for Amerika. I only wish that there were more Ellie Lights willing to write a letter to the editor in their local paper.

Dr. Chicago

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DearAnonymous.Ellie:

I feel your pain. Obamskie has been getting it shoved up the (bleep) for 12 months and I am weary of the blathering conservatives, always proving theirrightness by fact after factstupidity by lie after lie. This is wrong!

And as if that weren't enough, the "stupid mindless cult of personality blather.." are picking on our Glorious One for not doing enough of his Stalinist impersonations. Communism is the only way to prove 'compassion' for the masses oflazy, selfish idiots.... our comrades.

I too have a tear. And regardless of what anyone says, it's not dueto the dismal situation I see our nation into our great Leaders efforts, but to those pesky teabaggers!

Long live theFuhrer... our great President Obamskie!


Image Provided by a true artist!

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Ellie Light wrote:Image


Hey Ellie,

I think your hot. I'd drink your douche water!

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Well Ellie, I must say that was very moving. I flushed with pride twice, nearly flooded the bathroom floor.

Dear Leader can try and backtrack now but many of us had our hopes and dreams invested in him. I myself drove clear across the county to vote twice and I sent in 6 absentee ballots just to play it safe.

To us, Obama was like that guy with the question marks on his suit. He made us a promise. Change. Where is it? We're waiting with our palms outstretched.

I want my free money from the government. I want a free car and free house. I want free medical care. And I want to live in world free of carbon and Republicans. And I want a job, the kind that I don't have to show up for, Like Michelle.

It's been a whole year, that's like forever man. How much longer must we wait? I'm not getting any younger here, tick tock, tick tock.

Sure, he's got it tough. With a majority in both Houses. With a drooling media. I know the man has to find time to play golf and bowl and shoot hoops and attend dinner parties. But damn, what about us little folks? When do we get ours? When do we get paid off for our support? How about sending the SEIU to the back of the line just once so we can get some?

I know, some of my Stalinist comrades here will object to my Trotskyesque rant. Fine, sink another ice axe in my head. But at least Stalin delivered the goods.

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Ellie Light: did you not post here recently using the name "Strawberry Jelly"? Just askin'.

I agree with you, I think President Obama is doing a fine job. In fact, I think he is by far the best Chief Executive we've had this decade and one of the two best we've had this century. He could even be in the running for Best President of the Millenium. I mean that with the same sincerity that our Dear Leader means everything he says. That should tell you everything you need to know about how much I admire the man.

I'm so happy that you're bringing your populist, grassroots, non-astroturfing letter writing campaign to some of the nation's most quickly declining newspapers. I am sure the editors of those newspapers are happy too, for if you didn't write your letter, they would've had to print another one of the hundreds of letters they receive every day calling Obama a Marxist moron and such. It must be depressing for them to watch a man whose ass they kissed so vigorously they admire so much fall on his face like the ass-clown he is have such a difficult time of things. Lucky thing, too. I have calculated the odds against one person having a letter to the editor printed in so many newspapers in such a short time frame as about one in a trillion or so. Gee, that number is almost as high as our national debt which has doubled since Obama took office. See Ellie, he is getting something done.

So don't worry, Ellie. Things will get better as soon as that f*cking moron Obama and his a$$hole pals Reid and Pelosi are sent packing.

- Opiate

PS Don't take Comrade Infidel Castrate's comments too literally. He gets a bit silly around attractive androgynous metrosexual letter writers like yourself.

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Comrades:

Sniff, sniff…. (wiping tear from eye and blowing nose)

This is the most eloquent and beautiful piece of revisionist work on the web today. This is a must read for every Prole and I insist that Comrade Whoppie turn it into a song that should be taught to our children to sing every morning before class begins.

How poignantly the author puts it about the "bail out (of) failing companies" and "outdated free market principles" Quickly followed by "He always said that we would have to spend and spend and spend and never stop spending…"

Bravissimo, truly a masterfully subtle reworking of his campaign speeches and State of the Union Address… Surely there is an award that can be bestowed on the lovely Miss E. Light??

She captures the essence of Obama so nicely; a man having a hard time bringing the country back to where it should be and it is especially an amazing feat since that same man never held a real job before and was barely a US Senator and voted present all the time, yes quite a feat of courage if ever there was one.

(To all Upper Party Members: Keep an eye on Miss Light, one must remember to just Drink the Kool-Aid and to never ever Intravenously Inject the Kool Aid…)

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Dear Komrads,

Please forgive me-I am new to the community but a terrible mistake has been made. If I could impose on you, my fellow countrymen and women, to please contact the Dear Leader, ObowMao, described in Ellie Light's letter on my behalf. He sounds like a leader that would want to know of abuses inflicted upon the masses!

Let me explain, I met a very nice young man at a kiosk at the mall. He encouraged me to look over his brochures describing his religion. It all looked very nice. He promised me that orientation would take place at a beautiful retreat and I would have my very own gulag where the sun shines everyday while I was going through orientation. So far, this has not been true.

I am also dismayed at the hired help around here. I did not expect much, maybe to have my breakfast, lunch and dinner delivered, my bed made and laundry gathered as I was to be busy learning a higher understanding of life itself. That is a far cry from reality.

When I protested the harsh treatment I've received (along with 9,999 other trainees that I am forced to share this small gulag with) the treatment became even more deplorable! They took away the purple root food thingy (who eats purple food?) and placed a shovel in my hands, all the while heaping verbal abuse on my shaved head in the form of insults and threats. I asked to speak with the supervisor because this is all a misunderstanding that can easily be cleared up! I must have simply climbed on the wrong bus and ended up here!

(Although, I have quickly learned to point out to my abusers that this is through no fault of theirs--no, my mistake. All mine and mine alone. Taking personal responsibility around here goes a long way.)

My only contact with the outside world is here to you. If you can't get hold of the Dear Leader ObowMao that Ellie wrote of, could I please impose upon you to go back to the nice young man at the mall and explain the error to him-I'm sure he will remember me, I think there was some chemistry between us. I have to go, now. If the guards catch me crying again there will be hell to pay and they are already unhappy with my work performance since the early hours of the morning and I would very much like not to bring any more attention upon myself. Anonymity is key here. But I thank you in advance for your kindness and assistance. Please ask Dear Leader ObowMao or the nice kid at the mall kiosk to ask to speak with Gorya...he seems to be the one in charge.

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Comrade Party Official, are you sure you didn't just enlist in the military? Sounds a lot like bootcamp to me. Life in the gulags is much more harsh (trust me, I been to both).

I'd also like to apologize to Ellie, I was perhaps too hard on her (him, whatever). Herim isn't responsible for Obama's failures (unless of course she is Obama, but that's silly).

Anyway Ellie, I just want to say you look like a nice Light skinned negress and I couldn't detect a hint of negro dialect in your letter. But I'm sure you could talk like dat if you wanted to, if you ax me.

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Comrade Ellie,

I'm getting very mad here. As a black woman, I was expecting Comrade Obama to fulfill the mission of Black Liberation Theology. Where is my liberation, damn it! It's not enough that black people are allowed at the lunch counter. That's fine, but it's not enough! When am I going to see the day that no whites will be allowed at that lunch counter? Huh? I want all white people off of that lunch counter. I want them gone! And if you think Comrade Obama doesn't want this, too, then tell me why he attended Reverend Wright's church for 20 years? He knows the mission. He wants the mission. He knows what we want. Why isn't it coming true faster?

WE WANT NO WHITES AT THE LUNCH COUNTER! Are you going to do something about that?

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Wow- what a Glorious sight to behold; so many Progs are on the same Mental wavelength that on the same day, this Wondrous Script appeared in our local Party-Approved newspaper, the Blisterville Snotrag-Gazette:

To the Editors of the BS-G,
I've been living in your community and been a Snotrag-Gazette reader for years. I've never written a letter to the editor before but I felt I needed to say a few words because so many people are turning against our president and this is very troubling to me.

A year ago if Obama had said that all we had to do was pass an economic stimulus plan, bail out failing companies that ordinarily would've gone into bankruptcy and have the government take over health care on the pretext that this would all jump start the economy we would've known we were being lied to. Back then, we recognized that the problems Obama inherited as president wouldn't go away overnight.

During his campaign, Obama clearly said that an economy that had been destroyed by years of Bush tax breaks and outdated free market principles couldn't be fixed in a year. Candidate Obama never feed us happy talk - which is why we elected him. He never led us in simple-minded chants of "Yes we can!" He never implied America could solve it's problems by waving a messianic personality like a magic wand. Instead he talked of hard choices and taking the difficult path. He always said that we would have to spend and spend and spend and never stop spending because that's what all his most trusted professors and friends assured him was what was needed to jump start the economy. He never imagined that so many people would sabotage his efforts. He never campaigned on anything other than straight talking truth. He didn't get elected because of stupid mindless cult of personality blather but for his hard-headed realism. He always said he would raise the deficit, not because that was the easy thing to do but because that was the difficult thing to do and we need to do the difficult thing because the difficult thing isn't the easy thing and Americans aren't afraid of doing the difficult thing which is why we went to the moon or something.

Right after Obama's election we seemed to grasp this. We understood that companies would be happy to squeeze more work out of frightened employees, and would be slow to hire more. We understood that the banks that had extorted us out of billions of dollars, were lying when they said they would share their recovery. We understood that a national consensus on health care would not come easily. Obama never thought he could just ram anything through Congress without anyone reading the legislation or discussing it. I never tried to just cram it down the nation's throat! President Obama is tired of these lies and slanders! Candidate Obama never claimed that he would try to circumvent the normal course of legislation and lawmaking, and we respected him for that.

But today, the president is being attacked as if he were a snake-oil salesman who promised that your problems would wash off in the morning! I never made such a promise! And I didn't write that last line with the mixed metaphor about snake oil salesmen and washing off. Dammit, I'm going to fire my writers. It's time for Americans to realize that governing is hard work, and that a president can't just wave a magic wand and fix everything. Please America, lighten-up - let's give Obama a break. Obama's tired of getting it from all sides and I'm starting to lose it.

Sincerely,
Ima Dungbat

User avatar
[quote="High Party Official"]... Dear Leader, ObowMao...[/font]

He promised me that orientation would take place at a beautiful retreat and I would have my very own gulag where the sun shines everyday while I was going through orientation. So far, this has not been true.
[/quote]

"ObowMao"this brings a flutter to my heart . . such a beautiful, melodious ring to the ear, to honor our Great Leader.

As for the gulag, I don't have my own retreat either, but what I have, has has been flooded with light from one compact fluorescent 20 watt bulb. Although it is a little lacking in illumination for our re-education booklets, I've learned to be grateful. And to ignore the odd color it gives my daily ration of beets. Heil ObowMao!

I've seen comrade Ellie ALL over the country with her postings and talking pointspropagandaarticles. She it truly doing a yeomans work in astroturfing for the Great Leader. (*pardon me, I've suddenly been overcome with the need to hurl)

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Dear Komrads,

I am beginning to feel a shift in my being from the sleep deprivation dedicated instructions of Gorya, People's Guard, and his Muscovites. I am grateful for Gorya who has instructed Ellie Lightovna's letters from Pravda, Izvestia, Trud, Sovetskiy Sport and Pionerskaya Pravada be read non-stop from the loudspeakers. Ellie Lightovna has permeated my shaved head thoughts and I will surrender to Dear Leader ObowMao. I can no longer fight the glorious vision. Please God make it STOP!

Gorya advises I am ready for the accelerated pogrom and a spot has been reserved for me. This depends on if I can bring back the required booty tribute from the population to enrich Goryacontribute for my forced keep here. Beets aren't free, Gorya thunders. We must be ready to steal,rob and cheat the locals do our part for the greater good of Gorya.

Must go. Gorya leads the singing in the afternoon. He becomes cranky if we're not all there. He threatens us with a looped recording of "Pants on the Ground". No one is late. Everyone shows.

I'm coming, Gorya! I'm here! "Mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmm Barack Hussein ObowMao".....

P.S. What is this Massachusetts Election? Since that transformational event, the buses with new gulagees have arrived with less frequency...although Ellie Lightovna's letters seem to increase! Even now I see my fellow gulagees brazenly boarding the outgoing buses with not a care for the greater purpose being taught here, in defiance of the Muscovites. Gorya refuses to talk about it. He says it would only show us that ObowMao's policies aren't working and are being rejected en masse confuse us.

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Obama never promised us that he would give us Hope(tm) and Change(tm). Now that he can't he tells us that it is the Bu$hitler's fault, which it most certainly is. Without question the Bu$hitler's fault.

One of the things that some of the newer progs here fail to realize is that <i>truth started this morning</i>.

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Dear Ellie,

First of all, big fan. You're the most equal grassroots supporter our Dear Leader has ever had. Since you've no doubt heard these malicious rumors going around that you don't actually exist, I wanted to write and encourage you that all of us good obedient progs totally believe in you. These deniers are just the same sort of closed-minded people who don't believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa, Unicorns, UFOs, or ManBearPig EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE SO MUCH PROOF. I mean here's some proof right here: if you don't believe in Ellie Light, you're a racist tea-bagger. There. Keep that chin up.

Oh and P.S.: can you share with me the secret of omnipresence? I could really use it in my line of work and also to help with voting.

Love,
PDC

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Dear, sweet Ellie. I have a place for you in my bunker and bed.

Namely the maid quit.

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The SFGate has a columnist named Mark Morford, He gave us
Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.
Now. Ellie Light. Lightworker.

That's it! I see it now! And not only is this too much a coincidence to be a coincidence, this was all done doing textual analysis on <i>Das Kapital</i>. Ellie Light was foretold and since we now have fast, modern computers we can see how it was foretold.

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Also, vary the spelling of her first name and you have the acronym for Extinction Level Event.

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Extinction Level Event Lightworker? Interesting. That does go hand in hand with the lightworker notion of planet level changes.

Hrmmm. Is this progressive? Perhaps Ellie Light is an infiltraitor?


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Commissar Theocritus wrote: One of the things that some of the newer progs here fail to realize is that <i>truth started this morning</i>.


Comrade Theocritus

I must commend you on the most equal comment on this thread.

I would like to comment on this Light thing.

It obvious refers to her light skin and I, the Despotic Tyrant and Dear Leader of the People's Utopia of Zimbabwe am deeply offended.

I have dedicated my life to rid this earth of light skinned people and to redistribute their wealth and immovable assets to deserving ass-kissers in my retinue.

Why is it suddenly supposed to be good if you are light skinned? This whole thing stinks to high heaven of British Colonialism.

Amandla!

Obamugabe

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Obamugabe, I have an idea. Order off some paint chips from Sherwin Williams. Choose one shade of tan, and anyone lighter than that shade instantly has to go work in the camps. That's only fair. I personally am light skinned and although I was not brought up as a racist, nor were my parents and I never heard my grandparents say anything, still, I'm sure that some light-skinned person on a block that one of my ancestors lived on did, and so it's fair that all light-skinned (ice) people go to the camps.

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Superkommissar Maksim wrote:Ellie Light is Winston Stewart

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Arrgg, Gasp, Phew, Gag ....

Ellie you betrayed me, to think I was having erotic fantasies (some that I even acted out on) and you turn out to be a man.


 
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