My fellow comrades:

Are you one of the brave, courageous, compassionate, caring American heroes who support health care reform?

Do you have a heart-rending, tear-jerking, hand-wringing, Democrat-vote-getting story of pain and suffering inflicted not by illness or injury, but by evil greedy health insurance companies?

Have you ever been forced to wear your dead sister's dentures?

Were you trotted out before the news media at every opportunity, because your family and friends were forced to face the agonizingly difficult dilemma of choosing between chipping in to help cover the medical expenses of your loved one, and paying for your air fare and fancy new duds so you could travel around the country testifying to the masses that only a government program could've saved that loved one's life?

Then you deserve a certificate!

That's right! Sign up here to claim your free—yes, like everything else under Obama now—absolutely FREE Commemorative Health Care Reform Co-Signer Certificate!

https://my.barackobama.com/page/content/hccertificate?key

This certificate comes lovingly printed with the following accolade:

Together, we reduced the cost of care.
We established the toughest patient protections in history.
And we achieved the dream of generations—high quality, affordable health care is no longer the privilege of a few, but the right of all.

But wait, there's more! Your certificate also includes these inspiring words from none other than our Great Leader:

“That our generation is able to succeed in passing this reform is a testament to the persistence—and the character—of the American people, who championed this cause; who mobilized; who organized; who believed that people who love this country can change it.” –President Barack Obama

Feel that thrill up your leg yet? Don't answer until you see what else is on this certificate—the actual signature of none other than Our President, Barack Obama!

Your certificate will be delivered straight to your door, shelter, cardboard box, or wherever you receive your mail, and will be personalized with YOUR NAME as co-signer right next to President Obama's!

This beautifully crafted certificate, made out of 100 percent paper and printed with ink in Democrat blue, comes adorned with no fewer than three Obama logos and is ready for immediate framing and mounting on any vertical surface!*

Your personalized Health Care Reform Co-Signer Certificate will add beauty and grace to any office, den, or refrigerator door, and is sure to impress everyone who sees it!

But that's not all! Sign up in the next ten minutes, and your name will be added to the exclusive DNC/OFA mailing list! Get regular FREE e-mails that tell you all the secrets of how you can help Obama change America right from your own computer—and without even leaving the comfort of your parents' basement!**

This offer is for a limited time only, so don't wait! Show your family and friends just how much you care, and order your Health Care Reform Co-Signer Certificate today!

*Frame and mounting hardware not included. See our online store for our complete selection of Obama refrigerator magnets!

**Valid credit card required to enjoy this benefit electronically.

ADDITIONAL FINE PRINT: This certificate is for decorative and feel good purposes only, with a redeemable value of roughly 0.10,00,000,000,000,000th of one cent. Certificate is not valid in exchange for any services under Obamacare, Obama money, or any other goods/services Obama in His Benevolence provides us, nor may it be declared a seizable asset by the IRS. Certificate does not, nor will it ever entitle co-signer to any benefits enjoyed by members of Congress and the Obama Administration.

I signed up and all I got was this lousy glorious emblem.

I am so anxious and excited that all the comrades, even proles, will be receiving all-but- FREE healthcare. I did receive my government issued pliers dental implements for tooth extractions... can hardly wait to try it. Maybe on the dog, first.

Say Pinkie, do those certificates come with different color inks? Some of our other comrades may prefer other colors, like black, green or red. Of course, none of them are greater then the others, just a personal preference. (And by personal preference I mean government mandate)

Fraulein,
You could always pin that emblem on something of yours and trot it around claiming your glorious work towards the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

This whole tooth fiasco reminds me of The Simpson's episode "Itchy and Scratchy the Movie". Bart destroys his grandpa's teeth, so of course Abe needs to get some new teeth. Towards the middle of the episode, we see grandpa back in the retirement home trying to snatch one of the resident's teeth from a glass of water while he slept. Jasper hears Abe, pulls out a gun, and says "Well well, if it isn't the Tooth Fairy."

Commissar_Elliott wrote:...
Fraulein,
You could always pin that emblem on something of yours and trot it around claiming your glorious work towards the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

I have already marked the 15th in Red ink and will do just as you suggested. (don't we love the way te collective mind thinks?!) We will be tossing eggs looking for the teabaggers to be tossing eggs and dutifully report them to Party Officials!
Those baggers are evil, unruly people (that is what our Democrat operative told us to say, is that not glorious!)!

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Commissar_Elliott wrote:...
Fraulein,
You could always pin that emblem on something of yours and trot it around claiming your glorious work towards the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

I have already marked the 15th in Red ink and will do just as you suggested. (don't we love the way te collective mind thinks?!) We will be tossing eggs looking for the teabaggers to be tossing eggs and dutifully report them to Party Officials!
Those baggers are evil, unruly people (that is what our Democrat operative told us to say, is that not glorious!)!

Teabaggers are indeed evil people. Why must they protest when all we want is the betterment of the nation/world? I feel they truly are the irrational, the ones we can not save. Let them perish, for as you know, we outnumber them.

Apparently some Tea Bagger thinks he's funny. This hate speech must stop.

I'm speechless!

If only Bushitler had thought of this type of self adulation maybe the entire world wouldn't hate him!... But that would have made us progs blow a gasket right?.... Good thing Bushitler didn't do this... That really would have made us mad...

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Apparently some Tea Bagger thinks he's funny. This hate speech must stop.

So disrespectful.... just like those other guys who signed the bill- Huess bin Farteen, Awonna Fuqia, Y'wanna M'diq, M'balz-es Harri, and Musshaf-Herod Apyer Poohpr.

Commissarka Pinkie,

I must alert you that a certain Helga Kevorkov, from the government ministry of propaganda confiscated your post and turned it into a PSA on a conservative radio show. Please forgive Helga. She's not very bright. However, credit was given to you and the Cube.

Click Here

Mr. Soukeedik must go to the OboobooCare Re-education FEMA Camp immediately. I have no doubt that Mr. Huess BinFarteen needs careful observation (at some distance). These teabaggers are so disrespectful, and as you said, Comrade Pinkie, have no idea that Obabo Obamera is doing what is best for the collective good.

I've never been proud ashamed of his my country before but I am now. Look what cousin Egor, twice remove, received in his email carrier pigeon account. Such disrespect.

Thank you, Leninka! Give Helga a Beet of the Week on my behalf, and tell her I love her accent!

Here's a link to a better view of the certificate and all its glorious detail. I couldn't get the actual picture to work on this thread. I suspect they're worried about rogue Photoshoppers and Mimeswipers.

President Barack Obama Commemorative Health Care Certificate


When I went looking for this link this morning by typing in "Health Care Reform Certificate", Google showed THIS THREAD as the very first result.

Does it come in rolls if you get dysentery?
Or are they to be rationed Sheryl Crow style...you know, just one square?

How could you expect more than "one square", dear Comrade? We, the progressive collective, can not be greedy with our square, or toilet papers or our certificates. Equality rules. One for you, one for me, 100,000,000,000,000 for dear Leader (and other elites and Party Officials). THAT is true Equality²

How could you expect more than "one square", dear Comrade? We, the progressive collective, can not be greedy with our square, or toilet papers or our certificates. Equality rules. One for you, one for me, 100,000,000,000,000 for dear Leader (and other elites and Party Officials). THAT is true Equality2

It's free! I can get as much as I want as long as The Party allows my want!
Expect = Entitled.

Pblfftttt!
Ptooey!

So there!

So disrespectful.... just like those other guys who signed the bill- Huess bin Farteen, Awonna Fuqia, Y'wanna M'diq, M'balz-es Harri, and Musshaf-Herod Apyer Poohpr.

ALa zeg... why disprespectful that my countrypersons should be of recipients of such certificates? Have we not been in helping with class struggles world-wide in such places as New York, London, and Spain? Have we not been toiling too hard to keep unemployment at so low figure under 10% by maintaining bootiful poppy fields? And has not production from poppies to create for mind-numbing experience to assist in PROJECT VOTE made for that to be winning campaign? Why if Bushitler had not been warmongering dog against my people perhaps Dear Leader would not even have rise to his glorious position! Have it not been established that it is all Bushitler's fault, even Dear Leader to now be President is Bushitler fault?

We are like you... we want our Free Health Care and we want it now and we want ass-wipe certificate of proof of our support!

Comrades!

Why limit this glorious certificate to just people? This actually smacks a little elitist does it not? But in fact our Glorious leader in his wise mind already had addressed the problem!
Yes Comrades you can also get a certificate for your beloved pet! Just register your pets name and even they can receive this glorious certificate acknowledging their support also for Obamacare.
How do I know this? Why I registered my bird, A. Para Keet and bam received a bootiful Certificate just for him! What a rush it was to receive it and place it on the bottom of his cage (and it fit perfectly) so he could also look down on it and express his real ‘joy' at receiving his own personal certificate.

All Hail Obama!!!!!!

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:

So disrespectful.... just like those other guys who signed the bill- Huess bin Farteen, Awonna Fuqia, Y'wanna M'diq, M'balz-es Harri, and Musshaf-Herod Apyer Poohpr.

ALa zeg... why disprespectful that my countrypersons should be of recipients of such certificates? Have we not been in helping with class struggles world-wide in such places as New York, London, and Spain? Have we not been toiling too hard to keep unemployment at so low figure under 10% by maintaining bootiful poppy fields? And has not production from poppies to create for mind-numbing experience to assist in PROJECT VOTE made for that to be winning campaign? Why if Bushitler had not been warmongering dog against my people perhaps Dear Leader would not even have rise to his glorious position! Have it not been established that it is all Bushitler's fault, even Dear Leader to now be President is Bushitler fault?

We are like you... we want our Free Health Care and we want it now and we want ass-wipe certificate of proof of our support!

A thousand pardons, my dear Czarweary.... I assumed all good komrades would recognise Evil Joo attempts to mock Obomba's Certification of Heathcare program. But like the sneaky Jooz they are, even one so enlightened as yourself was decieved. It happens to us all.

Holy freakin' PETA Snoogie, you are a genius! Of course, free ObamaCare for pets. Let's not forget that animals are people too.

And who's gonna object to another trillion dollar entitlement? Who's gonna say they want puppies to die? (yeah, yeah or even kittens Reiuxcat)

It's perfect wealth redistribution, because doesn't the Earth rightfully belong to animals? It's a crime against Gaia that humans came along (from where ever) and stole it from them.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Thank you, Leninka! Give Helga a Beet of the Week on my behalf, and tell her I love her accent!

Here's a link to a better view of the certificate and all its glorious detail. I couldn't get the actual picture to work on this thread. I suspect they're worried about rogue Photoshoppers and Mimeswipers.

President Barack Obama Commemorative Health Care Certificate


When I went looking for this link this morning by typing in "Health Care Reform Certificate", Google showed THIS THREAD as the very first result.

Thank you Comrade Pinkie. I will make sure to sign up to receive my certificate, and when I get it, I'll do as Helga says and hang it, framed, above my dining table.

This is most glorious comrades!

It is so good that it immediatly activates my sense of greed fairness and makes me want more just like a good prog. When will the "I helped expand drilling right's for off shore oil," "I am helped prostate my homeland before an increasingly agressive Russia," "I helped abandon a fledgling democracy to the chaos of civil war," and the "I helped spend America into a hole that my grandchildren will never be able to climb out of" commemorative certificates be coming out?

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Comrades!

Why limit this glorious certificate to just people? This actually smacks a little elitist does it not? But in fact our Glorious leader in his wise mind already had addressed the problem!
Yes Comrades you can also get a certificate for your beloved pet! Just register your pets name and even they can receive this glorious certificate acknowledging their support also for Obamacare.
How do I know this? Why I registered my bird, A. Para Keet and bam received a bootiful Certificate just for him! What a rush it was to receive it and place it on the bottom of his cage (and it fit perfectly) so he could also look down on it and express his real ‘joy' at receiving his own personal certificate.

All Hail Obama!!!!!!

Comrade Woogums, what a glorious idea from a glorious progressive mind. I registered my pet Heterocephalus glaber, High Official Bracky bin Lying Jr. It was so thrilling to receive our government endorsed Obomo Obamo certificate! I do wish he hadn't eaten it, but he appeared to have much joy in doing so. And how many proles can say, they have Official Government Endorsed Certificate dropping gracing their abode?

I have a tear . . . . . no, 2!

Thank you Comrades,

Pets also need Obamacare and all the glorious benefits a freebie Government give-me entitlement deserves.

I do have one small little problem though. My pet elephant seems to need a whole lot of these certificates that I place underneath her while she does her 'personal' business. Hate to bother a comrade but you could you guys like order at least two years worth?

And pass them on to me?

Ah ha, dear Woogums, I seeunderstand your dilemma. My suggest, after much contemplation and elitist assessment - dump get rid of the replace your ELEPHANT with the more desirable jackass.

The jackassdonkey, is a far superior animal of higher elitist, intelligence and his dropping are much more 'containable'.

Frau,

Are you suggesting that if I get a jack-ass as pet to replace my elephant I should place his glorious Obamacare certificate at the "front -end"?

I was suggesting you replace said elephant with the glorious, Obamo Obobo Obama democrat loving emblematic jack-ass who is kinder to the enviorment, leaving less 'residue' than the humongous, stupendous non-green Elephas maximus . . or Loxodonta africana, whichever you might have.
The nifty Obamacare Certificate may be placed at either end!


pssss I all good progressive conscience, I must add that a jack-ass is indeed, always a jack-ass but a jack-ass does always receive "Obamo government approval" and is that not what's truly important with Obamacare?

Comrades! How about more Obama freebies in the form of video games?

http://zone.msn.com/en-us/home


While goofing around on the MSN Games site with Mahjongg tiles and Tax Day Bejeweled and other forms of cyberfoolery, I find my fun and games frequently interrupted by little video commercials for stuff like shampoo and laundry detergent and even the U.S. Census.

Yes, the U.S. Census, which was supposed to have ended on April 1st--or at least that's when everyone should've mailed back their forms--is still telling us to do our part more than a week later.

While viewing these commercials, a little message shows up from MSN: "Thanks to our sponsors, you get FREE games!"

Now I can spend all day if I want matching up Mahjongg tiles at taxpayers' expense--AND get free health care without having to go out and do something stupid like "get a real job."

Ah! is that the sweet smell of victory or of something else?


Nothing says "Victory!" as well as a fancy shiny certificate! Such a glorious error era for the collective. Free health care, free video games, soon to be free broadband. We should convene a panel to look into the acquisition of swimming pools and color TV's for the people™.

Oh, never mind the free cheap certificate now. Instead, do your part for The Party by shelling out $50.00 for this:

https://dccc.org/page/contribute/pieceofhistory?source=040910_jv [quote]
President Obama signing health insurance reform into law ranks up there with the creation of Social Security and Medicare as one of the great accomplishments in American history - and now you can order your special commemorative picture of the historic moment.

Purchase your limited edition framed picture of history for a special DCCC supporter rate of $50 and support House Democrats today.
[/quote]
If I decipher the inscription on the picture correctly, it is, "We may not have chosen the time, but the time has chosen us." Coming soon: Trading cards (HCR edition), commemorative plate, commemorative coins, and Health Care Reform Barbie with giant gavel for marching-thru-mob re-enactments, white lab coat for photo-ops, and Comrade Midge's dentures for sob story props. Kiddie Shield Skipper sold separately.